The Goddess of Vampyres & The Eldritch God of Forbidden Knowledge

Before I could even enter the light, I was halted by a compelling hand grabbing on my wrist. It was her, the mother of all demons, Lady Lilith.

"You can't leave yet." a trembling demonic, yet soothing tone came out of her mouth, having herself completely naked, her legs were none but a snake's tail wiggling zig-zag to crawl towards me, her skin was violet, and her eyes glowed velvet and every stand of her hair were venomous cobra snakes rather than just the regular thin ones, "My dear son, do not go yet. For you are not ready."

Despite her demonic voice, it calmed my heart like a child held by a mother, "You have a new unravelled book that you haven't written yet. And it is about that one particular woman you've always admired."

"You mean Lara, my dearest mother?" I responded to her statement with a question.

"Indeed, so. Should I give you a pen, you will write about her, for I've given her to you. A new character for your novel. Once you do that, she will come to life and manifest into the apparent world."

"What is the apparent world? Must I seek it? Does it even exist if I am not amongst the living no more?"

"Remember our pact. It is sealed for all eternity, and you are mine. Technically, not your soul, never. But in other worlds, your collective consciousness may still be alive there."

"Must I even go through that same rabbit hole again? The 'False Dream-Reality Insanity'? The one where I must go through a loophole of different alternate universes each time I sleep and wake up to shift to the next? Which gives me quantum immortality wherein, when I die, my consciousness goes to another alternate dimension? I swore to myself never to do that again."

"Remember our deal. You're only free from me only if you're dead. I had to visit Azathoth's dream, since I am, of course, a succubus, to make a deal to go to other dimensions so I could meet you there. Technically, in other realities, my sweet Klei, you are not free from me because you are not dead yet there."

"What happens to the other consciousness in the collective of other realities?"

"I take them, but you're the one that I couldn't take. But consciousness is different from a soul. The soul is one alone, but consciousness is various."

"That wouldn't be fair. You tricked me! Once I die, it's over. Do you have any idea how many alternative universes there are?"

She giggles softly at my intimidation, as if that's going to do anything. "Now come on, child. Let me save you. I can take you to a different world and you don't have to worry about anything else."

Her aura attracted me enough to be lured into her breasts as she held me close into her arms, and she took me into her dark.

The day is the wife whom I elude, the one whom I should be right. Although forewarned by peers and kin, I always get into the night.

I closed my eyes shut, having her arms to hold me like a mother to her child. That was when I opened my eyes, waking up into a different world identical to the apparent reality, wherein everything is the exact same. But is this real? Or was that all just a dream again?

I looked at my phone. If is it even my own phone where the version of myself in this world belonged to? But I've replaced him in this new alternate universe. My consciousness from the underworld replaced this world's version of myself.

The phone says that it is the 9th of March of the 21st century in the year 2022. The time is exactly at 8:12 AM. I sat up from my bed, confused, having an episode of sleep drunkenness or confusional arousals, trying to think, no thoughts, head empty.

This type of waking up is common. It is when we wake up in the middle of the night, acting extremely confused where our mind couldn't process anything, then go back to sleep and barely remember the moment.

But this happened to me waking up this morning. I even gained the memories from the version of myself of this world. He had this episode last night as well, because he woke up from sleep paralysis and night terrors. Which usually happens to me a lot, but in this world, I could remember it was more frequent due to his stress hormones acting up.

Especially that the version of myself in this world frequently gets psychotic episodes at night and gets insomnia and sleep deprivation. And only exhaust himself at night by writing too much on his computer, which overstimulation, especially from radiation from the computer screen, only makes his insomnia worse. Causing him to hear voices at night, but pretty normal in the daytime.

However, he's barely functional at all in general. Due to his dissociative states, 24/7. And it's getting worse. His antidepressants are doing worse than good for his anxiety and driving him into utter suicidal tendencies.

In which that person is me now. But the question is… is Klei in this world free from house arrest? That is the question.

I had myself sitting up on the bed, trying to adjust my vision, and then got up too quickly. The blood from my brain went down so fast that I started to see fireworks without having to close my eyes. Having to rub my eyes, my brain just got into a state of vertigo, then held onto the computer desk, trying to adjust myself more before I could even stand properly. Then, I just went into a daydreaming state, as if I was catatonic. I was not daydreaming per se, more like I suddenly began to reminisce about my thoughts. To the point of near-catatonic derealization. I could barely focus on reality, forgetting what my surroundings are even.

No, I just am at the theta stage in the frequency of my brain. This usually happens when we are not aware of our surroundings during the awakening stage of sleep. And the alpha stage of the brain frequency is when your mind is completely out of touch with reality and starts to hallucinate, which happens a lot during sleep and meditation. It is not a mental disorder, rather a psychological phenomenon that is very common.

Perhaps… I could be wrong, I must say. What if in this world, I am just merely more clinically insane than the apparent world where I came from and had died? That's when I started to go crazier and crazier in my own room. Having wild theories, such as what if all of this is none but a delusional hallucination to help me cope because I've been inside a psychiatric ward this whole time? I must stay intact with my reality, or else I'm going to lose it!

I slowly walked towards the bedroom door, held the doorknob and gently opened the door. Hearing a creak as I slowly pushed it, seeing visions between this reality, and a distorted image of myself inside a psychiatric ward.

But as I saw, the entire house had been renovated this whole time. Whilst in the apparent world, it wasn't. I tried to find my father, as he wasn't around, then saw my older brother Reginald. He looked at me, confused and sincerely concerned. He gave me a slap on the face with words, saying, "Dad already died a few years ago, Klei. You alright? Here, take your meds. You need them…"

I reached my hand to take the pills from his, then he gave me a mug of some mucky water. It was barely brown and completely dark. I took the pills along with the mucky water for me to swallow easier. And that's when I was given a reality check.

Dad had died a long time ago. I am in North Carolina living with my older brother's family, including his wife and daughter, and I'm not in the same old house as I used to be.

"Withdrawals sure are terrible, huh?" my brother jested with a chuckle, but not in an offensive way. As I laugh along with him as well.

Then his laugh turned demonic the louder and longer it got. That's when the ground shook like a magnitude 10 earthquake. Then reality shattered with everything mundane teared apart for myself to be in the void of space, with billions and billions of stars around me in the milky way galaxy.

Then I saw it, an eldritch god of such an abominable, colossal appearance that was beyond human comprehension. I felt like an ant to him. I realised that the music in my head, or perhaps the music from this void of outer space, had stopped. As the outer god of the universe had awakened because the music was the only thing that kept him asleep.

That's when reality shattered, having myself to realise that this universe is nothing but a dream of this great old eldritch titan of knowledge that was beyond my understanding!

I bowed down and worshipped him, then I grabbed the knife to sacrifice myself because I know I am not worthy of his greatness.

I aimed the knife at my neck, pulled it back then in a glimpse, thrusted the tip of my blade to penetrate through the Adam's Apple of my throat, going through the back, destroying my spine.

But before I could even do all that, someone stopped me! And it was my father! Then I snapped back to reality, seeing all my books scattered around the floor.

That's when I ran away from shame. I was so depressed to become suicidal, but had no will to do so. That's when I just dug up a coffin in a cemetery and replaced the body with myself in the night at a subdivision in San Fernando City. And locked myself in the casket.

Then, I became delusional about myself being a vampire that died from a successful attempt of suicide.