Chapter 9: A Moment Of Peace

It was already the middle of October.

How was that even possible?

I didn't know if it was the minimal sleep I’ve been getting, but senior year was proving to be harder than I thought. I used my afternoons and evenings to make sure the kids were all fed, and their homework was done correctly. I didn't start my own homework until after midnight.

Jasper was my savior, but I didn't know how I was going to make it until my eighteenth birthday without collapsing from exhaustion.

“Morning,” a chipper voice called from behind me. I swiveled around at my locker to see Wes standing there. I smiled at the sight of him, but my eyes went down to the gigantic cup of iced coffee in his hands. “Minnesota is a cool place. There’s a shop where they have these absurd sizes of iced coffee. Do you know anyone who would want one?”

“Don’t test me, I will get on my knees and beg,” I said, laughing at my own horrendous self-respect. My love and need for coffee outweighed all the rational logic in my brain. Wes took my hands in his. The tips of his fingers brushed over my knuckles, leaving a trail of coldness from the iced coffee. He kept his fingers laced around mine as he lifted the straw to my lips. I sighed at the feeling of caffeine entering my system. “Thank you.”

Wes smiled. “Should we head to the library?”

***

Wes and I have been going to the library every day during lunch to work on our project. He originally offered to sit outside in the courtyard and work, but the crisp October air was not agreeing with that. Winter was rapidly approaching in Fairview, Minnesota.

Avoiding Wes in school had become impossible. He was around every corner, always smiling at me like I was worth his time. If we didn’t have to work on this project, then it’d be easier to ignore his existence. However, he smiled at me and handed me a coffee the size of my head, and I couldn't shake the part of me that desired him to be next to me. His body was the insulating layer that I never had, and his presence was my reassurance that everything would be okay in life.

I thought I was turning into Oliver.

“Do you believe in real love?” Wes asked, catching me off guard from my analysis of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

“I don’t know how to answer that. I mean … I believe in a form of love,” I said.

“Well, you love your siblings. That’s completely obvious,” Wes said. He had been to our house a few times over the last few days, but he hadn’t asked about our parents yet. Thank God. I didn't need to start lying about that! “Do you believe in a love between two people that defies all odds that are stacked against them?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I guess I’d say no because I’ve never felt that before. Have you felt that?”

Before he could have answered, Hurricane Jasper, landed at our table in the library.

“Did you know that there’s a theory that The Little Mermaid and Peter Pan exist in the same universe?” Jasper questioned, barreling into our table like a bull in a China shop. How this guy had not been arrested for destruction of public proper was a miracle. Wes raised his eyebrow, not understanding the delicate balance that made up Jasper Hale. “What? Watching that movie four times in a row with Ariel has taken a toll on me. I fell down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories instead of doing my homework last night.”

“Ariel’s also a four-year-old. I don’t think she’s talking about conspiracy theories when she’s singing along to Under the Sea,” I said, raising an eyebrow at my best friend.

“Whatever,” Jasper waved us off, looking at our notes for our English project. “How’s the search for love going?”

“Terrible. We have to write about romance and Lucy doesn’t even believe in true love,” Wes said.

“It’s not my fault!” I exclaimed, changing my tone when the librarian gave me a stern look. “It’s not like I’ve ever had some guy pining over me like Pip does for Estella, with the harsh reality that he can never have me. Most of high school, people thought Jasper was my boyfriend, and I’ve always been busy, so who has time for love anyways?”

“I’ve tried to let her down gently,” Jasper laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “She can’t stop her feelings for me, and my heart has always belonged to another. It’s like Romeo and Juliet over here.”

I groaned, pushing his shoulder off me. I couldn't have this conversation again. Jasper and I know that we were joking around; however, Wes looked particularly uncomfortable. He was refusing to look at Jasper and me when we were joking about being in love with each other.

Wes fidgets with his hands when he’s uncomfortable. He was pretending to work on his computer, but I could see that he was secretly cracking his knuckles over the keyboard. He was barely touching the keyboard, so there was no way he was actually typing. His fingers were merely grazing the keyboard with the tips of his fingers.

I don’t want to make Wes uncomfortable. Talking about love with him alone was strange enough. Having Jasper here to make things more awkward was making the entire project stranger.

“Happy endings aren’t common in classic literature, so we shouldn’t talk about how Romeo and Juliet and Antony and Cleopatra killed themselves in the name of love,” I said, trying to steer the conversation back to our project.

“Bit of a downer,” Jasper laughed. “Sofia and I have to write about betrayal. Sounds like an interesting topic, hopefully, she won’t betray my heart when I finally work up the nerve to ask her out.”

“Take a leap of faith and just do it,” Wes added. “Who knows, maybe she’ll realize that being with you makes her happy and you’ll get the happy ending the world needs.”

***

The house has remained in one solid piece for weeks now. Seth decided to take a break from pranks. He was plotting his latest scheme of world domination and that required all of his attention. He wants to have a robot army in the future, where he doesn’t need human connections.

The thought of isolating from the human population sounded thrilling. I needed that, now. Not in the future.

I snuck into Derek’s room when I didn’t see him in the living room or in the treehouse. The boy needed to take a break from studying. He was going to fry his brain and become a miserable college professor in his old age.

“What are you doing?” I asked when I saw him chatting online. He quickly shut his laptop to keep me from seeing. “Derek? Come on, Coeus, you know you’re not allowed to talk to strangers. What are you doing?”

Derek is our resident genius. He is always studying and wanting to learn new things. His nickname Coeus came when we found him with his head in a textbook at all hours. Coeus is the Titan god of intelligence. Derek knew that he'll live up to his nickname by becoming valedictorian one day.

He slowly opened his computer to show me the screen. “It’s Jared.”

“Jared? Is that the one that helped you to read when you were in the boy's home?”

Derek nodded. “We talk sometimes about school. Eric used to take me to the park to see Jared when he aged out of foster care. I didn’t want you to get mad that I was talking to someone outside of the family.”

I reached out to ruffle Derek’s hair and pulled him into a hug. He melted into my embrace, refusing to let himself cry, but I could feel him shaking like a leaf under me. His silent sobs absolutely broke my heart. Have I been so distracted by other things that I wasn't seeing the sadness of my kids? Has this been going on for so long and I haven’t had the decency to notice?

“Sweetie, I’m not mad that you’re talking to your friend. I know that Jared was the one who convinced you to come home with us that day. It’s my job to always worry about who you’re talking to, especially on the internet. The last thing I want is for somebody to take you or hurt you. Seeing you with a book in your little hands on the car ride home that day, I knew you were one of us. Our family was closer to being complete with you in it,” I said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Derek said, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Come on,” I nudged, hopping onto his bed. I grabbed one of the Greek mythology books that Clarice used to read to us. “A little reading time for just you and me.”

***

I felt my spine crack as I stirred awake from my sleep. Looking around at my feet dangling off the side of a twin-sized bed, made me realize that I wasn’t in my own bed. An open copy of the story of Echo and Narcissus was laying on my chest.

Dragging my feet downstairs, rubbing the exhaustion from my eyes, I saw my kids sitting in the living room together. Ariel was cuddled on the floor with Oliver and Ares. Seth and Serena were looking at their computer and Derek was reading a science textbook.

“What time is it?” I asked. “What’s going on here?”

“It’s almost seven. You fell asleep reading to Derek. We decided to let you sleep, so I made dinner!” Serena chirped sounding proud of herself.

Seth snorted. “She poured everyone cereal. Let’s not get carried away on her proclamation that she made dinner.”

I squeezed into the couch between Derek and Serena. Both of them rested their heads on my shoulders. Ariel, Oliver, and Ares were by my feet.

I sighed looking around at my kids. All of them have had to grow up so fast. They didn't have much time to sit around and be kids. We’ve all had to make sacrifices and be grownups. Sitting on the couch as a family helped me to remember why I suffered through sleepless nights. I remembered why I pushed away people who could turn out to be the villain in our story. It was because the six of us here were meant to be together. We were meant to be a family.

Unshed tears stung my eyes, but I kept them inside. These wouldn’t be tears of sadness. They’d be tears of admiration for the kids I love.

“I love you guys,” I sighed.