MY MIND STILL HURTS

That day still haunts me.

Everyone looks at me and says,

"See, you're getting the hang of it,

Your life will get better, don't worry"

And some don't believe it, they think it's a joke.

They think its madness built in my head

They think, my being suicidal is nothing

cause, they don't care

People think

Time will pass.

And I will get better...

But if you look deep into my eyes,

You would not say that

Take a breath and look inside my life

You will see the life I live in,

The pain, the hatred, the curse they left me in.

Now I cannot even fall in love

Now I cannot even trust a man

Now I cannot live the life that everyone is living and enjoying.

Wearing a mask and pulling up a fake smile, laughter,

Is the best thing I can do...

You won't understand the pain I went through

And trying to be strong enough to share this feeling

Is the only brave act I did till now

My family thinks I am improving but an act is an act

Just to make them satisfied

So they don't break down

Its been 5 years since my life turned into a mess during a sexual attack

How can I say this without breaking apart?

I guess, "is a psychiatric depressed girl, no one would

Believe me"

And that's how the world works

"if you don't understand this pain, this hurt,

Just stay away"

Life is the life I guess, but you should know that,

"IT STILL HURTS INSIDE"