Chapter 69

I recalled how Crystal had said the dowager's garden was a labyrinth and I truly understood while we walked, because every twist and turn we took led to another place both identical and completely different from the last. All the while we had settled into a silence that was suffocating and only full of the occasional floral whiff of flowers.

My arm rested on Jules comfortably, a stark contrast to how I felt this close to him. I was conscious of his every breath, the deepness, and the length. So much so, that I forgot to breathe at times.

What frustrated me most was that I was never usually like this.

"These gardens are fantastic" I commented, finally breaking the silence.

"I've got lost in them often as a child," he said, voice low and face passive.

I chuckled at the image of a younger him, innocent and small, running around lost. It was hard to imagine him not knowing where to go.

"You find that funny?" His eyes crinkled with a smile as he looked down at me. I ducked my head. My cheeks flushed.

"Maybe a bit" I admitted.

"What were you like as a child?" He asked and the question rendered me stunned for a moment. "It's only fair". I smiled at his reasoning.

"I was quite the brat. I used to follow my brothers around, dragging around a wooden toy sword instead of a doll. Broke my brother's arm with it before my father confiscated it" I gave a sheepish smile as I recalled the embarrassing memory. I didn't recall it myself, but Mathias still brings it up as if he was the last surviving veteran from a long-ago war.

I didn't expect him to laugh, but at the sound, I smiled. Wishing he laughed like this more often.

"Somehow I can imagine it" he reached over to pat my head- I think?- but he stopped and awkwardly drew back his hand. I didn't ask why.

"I'll take that as a compliment" I beamed up at him sardonically and he snorted.

"Please do, otherwise my bones might be compromised".

I had pushed him away jokingly before I even thought if it were appropriate or not. He didn't seem to care and instead laughed at my struggle.

"Well I bet you were a perfect child" I retorted with feigned annoyance.

He smiled in a way that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"My father said that often, but I recall having a tantrum every other day. Especially after mother passed" he spoke as if the incident were a distant memory, but there was no way it was.

The number of articles badmouthing the queen came to mind. The rumors of a planned murder. All of it came to me at once and I grimaced. Feeling collective guilt despite having not done anything.

"Jules. I have no right to say this, but as a citizen of Grandor I am sorry" I said the words while looking down at the ground, unsure of how Jules would react. Would he shout? Tell me to watch my mouth and keep my nose out of his business?

"I truly wish there was an abundant of people like you in this country".

I looked up to see him wistfully looking at the blue skies, the birds flying above us and the rare cloud shielding us from the sun.

"Maybe there will be. With all the changes to come" I wanted him to feel some sort of optimism. To not feel weighed down by what he didn't deserve to be subjected to.

"I can feel how a person views me". His sudden words made me freeze. "I can see what intent they have behind their words and how they perceive me. I can see the bad" he paused and touched my forehead, my breath hitched, "and the good. That's how I pick my people. The ones who I want to stand behind me in my darkest times. I may have picked you for numerous reasons, Madeline. But I can assure you I truly want you and I appreciate it when they come to me first":

I stared up at him in wonder.

"But I'm right here?" I answered in confusion and he smiled bitterly.

"You are, aren't you? Somehow I'm not satisfied" he flicked my forehead lightly and then continued walking, dragging me along with him.

"So then the other ladies?"-

"They don't see me as anything except a means to the throne".

"That's not true! I'm not sure some of those ladies are taken by you- my cousin"-

"Desires riches and comfort. She wasn't even sure about that when she met me. She wavered, wondering if it was all worth marrying a beast" he said the words so uncaringly. As if they meant nothing to him. As if they didn't hurt him. So why did that hurt me?

"Then the others?"

"No different".

I was quiet after that. Hating how everyone hadn't even stopped to see him for how lovely he is. How they couldn't see that he was as gentle as he could be cruel. Just like anyone else.

I stopped, and he stopped with me.

"If… If you truly feel that way at the end of all of this and I'm still competing then I'll be your queen" I bit my lip, catching his surprised eyes that darkened momentarily after.

"I don't want you to marry me out of pity" he scoffed, "by the end of this competition you'll be begging to marry me". He smirked.

I scoffed in turn.

"When hell freezes over!"

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Special chapter-

"It's too big..." I wanted to complain, but my awe at the size of it was overwhelming. It was huge. I knew he bragged about it, but I hadn't expected it to live up to expectation.

"It's fine. Just taste it" Came Jules's hesitant voice.

"But what if I bite it? won't it hurt?" I stared at it cautiously. Noting how intricate it looked. The colour was interesting.

It looked hard and somehow at the same time very soft too. I poked it and almost shrieked at the way it slides. Did it jiggle too? how intriguing...

"I don't think it'll hurt at all. Rather It may be better to nibble on it".

I gulped, lifting it towards myself and opening my mouth as wide as I could. It wasn't wide enough and I could feel the texture on my lips. I pressed them against my lips, sucking for a moment, and then pulled away, coughing slightly as I felt a large hand patting my back.

"You did well! Just keep trying and you'll finally finish the cone" The prince encouraged. He looked away from me when our eyes met, face flushing a little for reasons beyond me.

"Ha, the cone? I can barely get passed all these ice cream scoops. You were right, the royal chef truly makes the most interesting deserts.

What?... you didn't realize we were talking about ice cream?