Chapter 76

I hated how my heart quivered, but with a defeated expression I gathered his larger hands in my smaller ones. His irisis seemed to quiver at the sight of it. I found myself admiring the largness of his hands, and yet how beautiful each finger was. Calloused and scarred. A story of hardwork and horrors painting it.

"Of course you are. You're a lot more than that too, but I'm supposed to be angry at you right now so I don't want to tell you yet" I let out a small snort and saw the small smile on his lips. It made me smile warmly.

How could someone be so innocent and cruel?

"How could you blame me?" He suddenly said, teeth revealing a smile as his fingers brushed my hair from face. "You make me want to lock you up".

I winced at his words, stepping back or attempting to except he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. His large hands suddenly on my waist and I was hoisted on the desk, facing him. It was so sudden I barely got a squeak out.

Our noses brushed from the closeness and I could feel the warmth of his every cell. His hands suddenly felt hot on my waist and I tensed, leaning away.

"You don't even understand how much I want you" his words vibrated on my skin, lips brushing against my collar bones. My hands rose to push him away, but for some reason they rested in his hair. Burying themselves in the silky strands as he grinned up at me. Dimples forming in his cheeks. "How forward" I don't think he had even looked at me as he stood up and pressed his lips against mine, his hand on my nape, snaking into my hair, pulling me towards him.

I should push him away. I should do it now, but I found myself melting into him and I- I didn't hate- that stabbing… I looked down to see the rise in his pants. It was a large bulge.

That- That - It was just like that in the dream!

I tried to push away from him and instead he was suddenly pressing it against me. Just as he did in that dream, but this time I could move. This time I could stop it.

"Ju- Jules" I could barely keep his lips off mine, and when I tried to speak his tongue would suddenly be wrestling my own. "Stop. Stop it" I pushed his stomach, or maybe a bit lower and all he did was moan.

"Touch me more" he shuddered, red eyes meeting mine, full of desperate longing.

I had almost listened.

"I think"- I gasped as the bulge pressed harder against me, light headed, just as I had felt in the dream, "I think we should stop. I don't- I've never been like this with a" I gulped, " a man".

He had stopped, but he hadn't moved an inch. Staring at me in a way that was probably trying to make me change my mind. It hadn't. He stepped back finally, covering his face he turned around.

"You should leave now" he mangled out, between laboured breaths.

"I- I can?" I stammered jumping off his desk and straightening my dress.

"Now. Hurry up and get out" he warned and I listened.

It was only when I rushed out and down the stairs that I realised I had left Connors letter and had completely forgotten that I was angry at Jules. I frowned as I slowly made my way down the stairs, deciding it was best to bring this up later.

I noticed the footman from earlier walking towards me again, as if he had never stopped when I ignored him earlier.

"Lady Colter- you dropped this" he held out a ring, the small familiar jewel that my mother gifted to me years ago sparkling under the chandeliers.

"It must have slipped off on my way up. Thank you" I smiled at him and noticed that I was on the sixth floor. The same one I saw the ring on.

"Can I ask who operates on this floor?" I looked down the hallway and couldn't note anything of significance. It was basically empty.

"This is the royal advisors residence. They also have daily meetings here" he explained diligently, "would you like a tour?"

"That's alright. Thank you for the offer" I smiled feeling the dregs of tiredness.

But as I did I wondered if the person I was looking for was closer than I thought?

I dismissed the thought as I made my way downstairs. I wanted to catch an hour or two of sleep.