Chapter 10

This chapter is going to be a bit more personal and possibly triggering, so please read at your own discretion. So I'll start from the beginning. When I first went to my IOP I met someone, and over the course of my time there I developed a crush on them. We exchanged contact information and talked for months. Over time I started thinking I was in love with them. We talked every day for hours at a time and the relationship was extremely unhealthy, we argued a lot and had to talk each other out of suicide weekly. Then one day I went to say good morning and realized I was blocked. I assumed that they were going to kill themself and I was terrified. I texted them, DM'd them, called them, but they just wouldn't respond. That weekend we were supposed to meet up, and it would be the first time we saw each other in person since the IOP. I decided I would wait until Sunday, they day we were meeting up, and if they didn't show then I'd fulfill my end of our suicide pact. But then they posted a TikTok saying they needed a break from people and were blocking people. I was furious because they would tell me things like they loved me and they would never leave me, but then they left me to think they were dead for 3 full days. I self harmed many times after they left and my school heard me talking about killing myself and told me I got reported for suicidal ideation, and the police showed up at the school with a SAFE team. They took me to a hospital where I got a psych eval and was deemed unstable. Then I was transported 2 and a half hours to a behavioral health hospital where I spent 35 days thinking about them. Thank you for reading my little vent. The next chapter will be about losing someone/moving forward. Thank you for reading My Journey Through Mental Health, Going Through it Together. Please remember to collect and comment on or review this book.