Day Five

I wake up to the sound of a text. I check my phone half asleep with only one eye open. It's Joonie. My heart races just at the sight of his name.

Good morning, Beautiful! Hopefully this text won't wake you.. I just wanted to tell you I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Thinking about you is what's going to get me through the rough schedule today. Have fun, enjoy your day, and make memories.

I can't help but smile and reread his text before quickly texting him back. It's only been a few days since we've met but I already feel like today will be hard to get through without seeing him. I always jokingly fangirled over him with friends, calling him my bias but I never expected this. I never dreamt I'd get to meet him in person, much less get to know him on a personal level; intellectually, emotionally, physically. My heart's already aching at the thought of leaving him behind but for now, I'm going to follow Yoongi's advice and enjoy the time we do get to have.

I realize the room is still slightly dim, the sun barely out yet. I check the time, 5:23 am. If he text me this early, they must already be working or at least getting ready to. They all work so hard for their music and fans, it breaks my heart knowing how exhausted they must be after yesterday and little sleep. I decide to get up, get some orange juice and go for a morning swim while the sun rises. The sky turns a beautiful array of blue, orange, and yellow. I decided to pose by the railing, the sunrise and thousands of lights across Seoul lit behind me. I take a few selcas and some photographs of the cityscape. It looks so beautiful that I'm already dreading leaving. I decide to head back inside and start getting ready for the day.

After a full day of sightseeing and shopping, street food, and cafes, we find a kbbq place for dinner. We're chatting about our favorite parts of the day when suddenly Jenn asks, "You miss him, don't you?" I nearly drop my chopsticks into the grill pit, "W-what?" She bursts out laughing, "Namjoon, who else? You're obviously distracted. You have been all day. You keep trying to hide it but I know you better than yourself, remember? You miss him, don't you?" I look out the window, trying to avoid looking her in the eye, "I can't help it." Her voice changes, I can hear the pity in her voice, "I know what you mean. . . Do you know what you need? Tonight's girls' night. I'm getting you drunk and we're singing karaoke and don't even think about saying no because it's not your choice this time."

It's just after 1 am when Jenn and I finally get back to the loft. We ended the night drinking soju and renting a karaoke room. We sang along to our favorite K-pop songs and let loose, before finally convincing Jenn that we should call it a night. My head still swimming in liquor, I lay in bed. I distracted myself all day but now that I'm in the dark and silent room, with memories of him in my bed, I can't help but miss him. I like Joonie more than I can let myself admit and I hate myself for getting into this situation. Two different people from two different worlds inevitably have to say goodbye and there's nothing I can do about it. I grab my phone and look at his number. Should I call him? Or maybe text? No, he could be sleeping. . . but what if he's still awake? I'm sure a little text wouldn't hurt. . . No, I can wait to see him tomorrow and that's final.

Heyyyy. . . it's me I was jsut thinkining of the show 2morrow and how excited I amto see you perform. I hope ur day wasnt to hard on you. Too hard on, get it? LOL i miss uGet plenty of rest n see u 2morrow!

I quickly send him a selca of me making a finger heart before I can back out. I lay there for a second wondering how stupid I can be. My heart pounds as I argue with myself over whether it was a mistake to text him but also hoping he likes it and responds. I should just go to sleep and tell him I wasn't in my right mind from exhaustion and soju. My room suddenly glows with the light of my phone as it vibrates with an incoming message.

Haha! It seems like you had a lot of fun today. You look so beautiful right now with your hair thrown up like that. I like it.. Today was so busy. I'm just getting into bed now.

My phone vibrates with another message from him. I open it to a seductive selca of himself laying in bed. His bare shoulders insinuate he's shirtless. A sly smirk on his handsome face. Three little words are written beneath the photo, "I miss you, too". I melt just looking at his selca. He's so unbelievably sweet and handsome as hell.

Do u even know how inincrebidly sexy u are? Show me more OMFG, why did I just send that?! Ok forget I sent that!Maybe I did have a litlte 2 much to drink tonight..on the note, see u tomorrow. get some rest bye!

I throw my phone across the bed, covering my face in regret and embarrassment. My phone vibrates, once again. Hesitantly, I reach for my phone, peeking at the new message with one eye open. It's a selca of Joonie's smooth, tan abs but near the bottom, the thick head of his dick peeks out from beneath the waistband of his grey sweats. The caption reads: "Sweet dreams, Beautiful" I scream into my pillow for being such an idiot and close my eyes until I finally fall asleep.