Day Six

"We have to leave in about five minutes if we're going to grab lunch before the show!" Jenn calls from downstairs. I check my makeup one last time and place my purple Namjoon headband on my head. I find Jenn sitting on the kitchen counter dressed in a BTS HYYH jersey, jean shorts and black Pumas, a red bean paste bun halfway in her mouth. Her hair is in pigtails with two little purple hearts clipped onto each hairband. We visit a dog cafe for brunch near the concert venue. As we sit on a cushioned bench by the window, the sweetest pomeranian snuggles onto my lap. Running my fingers through his soft fur, I consider how creative the businesses in Seoul are compared to my country and I fall in love with Seoul even more. We're about to leave the cafe when I notice the snack table off to the side and see bags of dried squid. I pay for one bag and we head to the venue.

After one of the staff gives us our backstage passes, we search for BTS's changing room to wish them luck. Jenn leans into me as we walk down the corridor, squeezing past busy staff, "I still can't believe this trip ended up this way. We came as tourists to sightsee and now we're wearing backstage passes and casually walking to see our favorite kpop idols as friends, not just ARMYs. How is this even life right now?" I look over at Jenn, wondering the same thing, "I know exactly what you mean. The only problem now is that I don't know how I'm going to ever leave." We find the door with the handwritten "Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS)" sign on the door. With my hand midair, ready to knock, Jenn pushes through the door, "Ooh, nooo! The door opened by itself! I hope no one's naked. . ." I hear Hobi scream and the others laughing. I walk in behind her and all the guys are spread around the room laughing, Hobi nearest to the door clutching his chest. "Noonas, you came!" Tae says, pulling Jenn and I into a bear hug. I hug him back, my voice muffled against his chest, "Of course we did! We're ARMYs, remember? You're squishing me,Tae." I squirm out from under his arm, fix my headband, and go around the room to each of the guys giving them hugs and good luck wishes. I save Joonie for last but he beats me to it. He grabs my hand and pulls me into the side changing room, the sound of "oooh"s and catcalls in the background. He wraps his long arms around me, embracing me. His sudden closeness shocks me and my heart kicks into overdrive, beating so fast that I feel like it's going to burst. He smells like fresh soap and aftershave. I'm so enamored by him, I can't help it when I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my face against his chest. "I know I'll sound crazy and it's only been a few days but I missed you. I couldn't stop thinking of you yesterday. . .," his mouth is so close to my ear that his words give me chills. I snuggle against him, "It is crazy but I missed you, too. I just wish I hadn't embarrassed myself texting you last night." He bursts out laughing, "I can't help it if I'm apparently 'incredibly hot'." I pull away from him, slapping him on his arm, "Stop! How embarrassing!" I feel my face getting hot as my cheeks turn red. He places his hand on my face, running his thumb over my cheek, "So cute. . . I like the headband, by the way." I casually shrug, rolling my eyes, "Eh, he's kind of my fave." Namjoon lets out a breathy chuckle, his sliding down to my neck, my pulse pounding against his palm. We look at each other for second, my mind clouded by deep brown eyes, the feel of his hand on me and how close we're standing in an empty room. I suddenly remember his gift, "Oh! I brought you something." I reach into my bag, pulling out the bag of dried squid, "I thought of you when I saw this." His face lights up, accepting the small package, "Dried squid! Mmm, I love it. Thanks!" Just then we hear a knock on the door, "You're on in five, come get mic'd!"

Jenn and I make our way to the front row just as the lights dim down. There's about 2,000 fans filling the room, screaming and waving an assortment of lightsticks. The lights go off and red spotlights come on. The boys are already in position on stage and the beginning of Fire starts playing. We watch them perform, the crowd going crazy, hyped up from all the energy BTS projects. They finish the song, heavily breathing and already sweating. They line up shoulder to shoulder, "Hana, dul, set! BANG! TAN! Annyeonghaseyo, Bangtan Sonyeondan imnida!" The lights dim as flashing stage lights and heavy beats take over. They perform We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2, Butterfly, and Silver Spoon. Jenn and I thought they were only performing four songs so it catches me by surprise when instead of heading off stage, Joonie walks up to the front of the stage with his microphone in hand, "ARMY!" The crowd goes absolutely insane while he pauses to listen to the screams, then in English, he starts to speak, "We were only going to play four songs for you today but since we love you so much, we have a surprise for you. Sometimes in life, you get caught up in a routine, whether it is school, work, family or whatever you have going on in your life, and we get so busy with that routine that we forget to live and experience what life is really about. If you're lucky, something or someone special comes into your life to remind you what happiness and living in the moment feels like. Sometimes it can start by running into each other at a park or over a spilled cup of coffee. So this next performance is dedicated to that special moment in my life right now. Whether it lasts only a week, one more day, or hopefully longer, I want to show my appreciation of how happy I have become. Thank you!" With that, he subtly looks my way for a second before retreating back in line with the others. Someone brings out a guitar to Jin and he starts playing. Joonie steps slightly forward, "Yo, yo girl. I wanna, I wanna tell you this. That you're my Miss Right.." The others join in. They're performing "Miss Right" acoustically. His speech and the thought they put into this performance brings tears to my eyes. He mentioned our first meeting in the park and the coffee incident. I feel Jenn's arms around my shoulders as tears start streaming down my face.

I make my way from the crowd towards the backstage and wait to the side of the stage. They finish the song, bow and wave to the crowd before making their way off stage. Joonie passes the threshold and as soon as he spots me, I run to him, grabbing him by the shirt. My other hand around his neck, beaded with sweat. I pull him down, catching him off guard and I kiss him. I feel his arms wrap around my waist, my feet lifting off the ground. I don't care who sees now or that others are laughing, cheering or whistling behind us. All I care about at this moment is that I'm not ready to go back home and end whatever this is with Joonie. Whether it lasts a day or a year, I want to know where it takes us.

My feet softly land back on the floor and Joonie looks down at me, wide-eyed with pink cheeks. A smile slowly spreads across his face as I realize the guys and Jenn are still yelling and whistling at us. Now that I noticed them, I feel embarrassed, covering my face with my hands. Joonie grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers and walks out, pulling me with him, "I wanted to surprise you, to show you how much it means to me to have met you." We're sitting in an empty office, my head on Joonie's shoulder while he idly plays with my fingers, "I guess you liked my surprise?" I gently squeeze his hand, raise it to my lips and plant a small kiss on the back of his hand, "Are you kidding? I loved it. You really moved me. I can't believe you guys did that for me." He rests his head against mine and I can feel him smile,"I felt inspired because of you and wanted to do something special. The guys were more than willing to help me out. They've grown attached to you and Jenn. I was talking to Jin last night about you. He said he's never seen me smile the way I do when I talk about you. . . Would it be selfish of me to ask you to stay? With me?" His question leaves me speechless. I had a hard time thinking of going back home but I never expected a chance that he could be struggling with the same thing. The possibility that he could like me enough to ask me to stay makes my heart skip a beat in a bittersweet way. I want to be reckless and tell him "yes" but I know I can't. "I can't. I have to go back, whether I want to or not. You know, I've been interested in South Korea for such a long time but I never thought I would get the chance to see it in person. Then I get lucky and win a free trip here and I end up meeting the very same musicians that inspired me and helped me get through some really dark times in my life. I've fallen in love with Seoul and my experiences here. So much so that I had a hard time dealing with how I was going to force myself to go back home. Especially because of you. Not because of BTS, not because of fame, but because of you. The same you that's clumsy enough to literally run into the same person twice in 12 hours. It took me until tonight to figure out what to do and you helped me decide. I have to go back home but I'm not ready to give up on this. . . us, whatever it's becoming. Even if just for a moment, I want to see where it takes us." He draws circles with his thumb over my hand, our fingers interlocked, "Really? You mean it? I want to give it a try, too. I was just afraid to ask you. I know it's only been a few days and it sounds crazy. I didn't want to scare you away." I laugh, crossing my leg over his lap until I'm straddling him, "Of course it sounds crazy. This IS crazy! But it doesn't mean I want it any less. It might be a reckless thing to do but if it's with you, I at least want to try." Namjoon wraps his arms around me, a hand threading into my hair before he pulls my head down against his waiting lips.

Jenn and I get back to the loft and flop down on the couches. "OH MY GOD. I still can't believe they sung to you! BTS SUNG DIRECTLY TO YOU! That was the sweetest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life! Well, spill! Tell me everything. What did you talk about and most importantly, is he a good kisser?" I laugh as I look over to her, "Well. . . We talked about how surprised I was, about me leaving, about us. We're going to try and see how things work out between us and yes, he's an amazing kisser. His mouth is. . ." Jenn laughs, throwing a pillow at my head, "You're so dirty! What has he done to my sweet, innocent girl?!" I throw the pillow back at her before laying my head down on her lap, "Anyway, he's taking me out for the day tomorrow since we leave the morning after. He invited you over to the dorm to hang out with the guys. Is that okay?" She reaches over and grabs my hand, lightly playing with it. A habit we've had for years. "I was already planning on it. The guys are coming over tomorrow morning for breakfast and swimming then I'm spending the night over there and leaving you two the loft." I smile, thinking about the concert, "It was pretty sweet of him today, wasn't it?" Jenn runs her fingers through my hair, "Ya think? What are you doing here anyway? Call him over." I look at her surprised, "But I just left him. Wouldn't that come off as clingy? It's too soon." She looks at me like I'm crazy, "Too soon?! Are you crazy?! KIM NAMJOON is head over heels for you, you only have two more nights to be with him and you're worried about being clingy?! CALL. HIM. NOW. You need to take advantage of the time you have. Call him over or I will." I hesitantly pull my phone out of my pocket, my finger hovering above his name.

Heyy Joonie...are you busy tonight?

My phone vibrates almost instantly.

Hi, Beautiful! No, we have the night off. I can't wait to take you out tomorrow..

I can't help but relax and smile as my fingers swipe across my screen.

Well, I was thinking.. since I only have 2 nights left here.. Do you want to come over? Maybe..spend the night with me?

A few minutes pass by, my heart racing as I stare at the damned phone, waiting for him to reply until finally, my phones buzzes.

I'll be there in 10

I take a shower, throw on a comfy pair of sweatpants and my favorite vintage Nirvana shirt, and order some pizza. Not long after, there's a knock on the door. Jenn runs to the door, throwing it open, "Joon! Finally! She's waiting for you." She let's him in and winks at me. "Have fun," she sings as she makes her way to her room. My face turns red with embarrassment. I walk over to him, curling my arms around his waist, "Sorry, she's an idiot. Anyway, hi." He places his hands on my cheeks, cupping my face and planting a soft kiss on my forehead, "Are you sure this is okay? Me spending the night?" I take his hand, leading him to the couch, "As long as you're okay with it. I don't want you to get the wrong idea or anything. I just don't have much time left in Seoul and I want to spend as much of that time as I can with you. So, relax. I ordered some pizza and wings. We also have drinks and that beer you liked last time in the fridge." Namjoon squeezes me tighter against himself, "Ah, thank you! Really, thank you for thinking of me tonight. We had to just grab a quick snack after the show so I'm starving."

We settle on the couch together and I let him pick something on the tv. He settles on a drama just as the pizza arrives. He insists on paying but I argue with him until we come to an agreement that I'll pay for tonight's dinner and he can pay tomorrow's date. "You've worked hard. Please, I want you to relax and rest. My treat." I grab two beers and napkins and we settle back down. "I can't believe you just fought with me over letting me buy you dinner. I have more than enough money to afford pizza and wings." I look over at him, "Of course, I argued. I know you can afford it, obviously, but I invited you so I wanted to be the one to pay. Besides, you had a long day and worked hard. The least I can do is buy dinner. Now shut up and eat." I take a slice of pizza and playfully shove it in his mouth.

We end up watching 4 episodes straight of the drama, his body spread out on the couch with his head on my lap as I run my fingers through his silky soft hair. His eyes start to drift close so I put my face close to his, "Let's go to bed." I crawl under the covers, Joonie getting into bed beside me but I can tell he's being careful not to touch me. I snuggle up to him, wrapping my arm across his stomach, placing my head against his chest. I can feel his body tense at my touch, his heart beating faster. It makes me smile to think I have the same effect on him when I touch him as he does me. My fingers softly trace over every curve of his toned chest, "I'm happy you came over. I know we didn't do much but it was fun. I feel comfortable and happy with you." I feel him relax as he finally places his arms around me, "Thank you for tonight. I needed it. To be able to lay on the couch with a woman I'm into, doing nothing but watching tv, it's something I never thought I'd get to do for a long time. Something so natural that normal couples can do."

My fingers continue tracing over his curves, down his stomach and I feel his body shudder. I start feeling hot, my hips squirming at the thought of him melting beneath my touch. It feels sexy as hell, powerful. I look up at his face, his eyes watching my fingers as I trail them lower, my nails grazing across his hips along his waistband. Namjoon's soft breathing becomes shaky, I plant a kiss on his right pec, "Joonie?" He continues watching my hand, "hm?" My fingers slip beneath the waistband, the velvet tip of his dick instantly greeting my hand, "I want it. . ."