Feelings in a Page

"I think I understand why Johannes did what he did. Our village lies near the border between Gallia and your kingdom, Inglatera. Before the peace treaty, the ruling noble of our lands, Johannes' grandfather along with other Gallians in our region were killed at the hands of Inglateran knights. The blow is too devastating that even now bandits attack our village because it is greatly weakened."

"Forgive me for all the troubles that my people and my ancestors have done in the past."

"No apologies necessary, princess. The past is the past."

"Tell me what is your dream? Aside from being wealthy and powerful, what else do you seek?"

"Well, I want to go on an adventure with people. Maybe go on a quest across the seas. Perhaps, search for a treasure that nobody has yet found. Or even go on a journey of self-discovery."

The princess' eyes begin to sparkle. In her eyes, Leon shines like the sun. Bold and daring, but cool and caring. They continue their conversation until the night reaches its peak. Eventually, they part ways as the princess retires to her bedroom. Upon returning to her quarters, the princess sits down her study. She pries open her diary. It is very late at night, but with the fire from a lamp she writes down her thoughts.

The complexity of life and human thought is confounding and puzzling. Humanity itself has been engulfed in chaos because of its own perplexity. I have lived for 20 perplexing years, mostly as a confined princess of a sophisticated kingdom. I have asked many questions in my life, and I have always found answers to those questions.

Tonight, there is a question I can no longer answer. Leon, a knight who saved me from peril, appears brilliantly in my eyes. Whenever he talks about his dreams, I am always filled with intrigued but confined to silence. Is it because he saved me that I see him shine so brightly? Or is it because of his honesty, his integrity, his dream and vision of idealistic reality, and realistic idealism that makes him shimmer?

Whenever I see him glad, I am joyous. When I see him in pain, I am in fright. Have I fallen for a commoner? His voice calms and comforts my soul, like a distant sound calling for me to reach out my hand. A voice that is so distant that I fear we are greatly worlds apart to be together. I am a princess, and he is a knight of common birth. Will nobility and royalty forget birth and focus on deeds? Or will they scrutinize even the simplest part of humanity?

I am arranged to a prince of a neighboring kingdom. Yet neither his face nor voice moves me so. His heart is laid on duty, while I seek to follow mine wherever it goes. If I follow my heart to what I feel towards Leon, will love blossom? Will the whole world let us be? Is this love what I feel? Or is it just a temporary twist of my mind, an illusion brought by my rejection to be wed against my will?

There are so many questions in my head that I cannot answer. I am afraid that if I may ask them, I will have the worst possible answer. Oh, Leon, why do I feel this way? Do you feel the same way towards me? Would you see me as your equal and not as a princess? Do you also see my glitter when I talk about my dreams?

The princess could write no more. As she slowly closes the pages of her diary, she thinks of so many things. She looks outside her window, staring at the twinkling stars. They are faint but they are there. Even a small beacon of light would grow and illuminate the darkness. The princess retires and goes to sleep.

The next morning, Princess Ariana hurriedly visits Leon. After she takes care of personal matters, she heads to the infirmary to help the knight who saved her life. To her surprise, one of the knight generals and the king are there. They inquire Leon of what he knows about Johannes and his possible motives. The princess waits and waits until they finish.

When she sees them finish their business, she swiftly and silently goes inside. A written mark of surprise appears on her face when she sees Leon already in his armor.

"Why are you in your armor?" she breaks the silence of the infirmary with her question. "Your injury still has not fully healed."

"Oh, Your Highness, good morning," he bows. "New orders from General Lamarck. I am to lead the investigation against our ruling lord."

"You are leaving?" the princess worriedly replies.

"I will depart to the fort on the outskirts of the Capital tonight. We will leave for my land tomorrow," Leon answers.

"I see," silence befalls the princess. "When will you return?"

"I don't know, Your Highness," Leon sadly replies. "We will carry out the investigation as thoroughly as possible to find the truth."

"Before you go," the princess looks down and blushes, "will you spend the rest of the day with me?"

"I am your personal knight, Your Highness. I am always at your disposal," Leon happily answers.

"Let's go, then," the princess grabs Leon's arm and runs outside.

They take the carriage to go around the Capital. The first visit is to an armory where the princess makes Leon choose a shield. Leon tries to refuse, but the princess insists.

"When you go out in your journey, the shield is the only way that I could have a part with you," Ariana says. "As your princess, I order you to choose."

Leon speaks no more and goes for a round shield that has a golden hazelnut hue. The color is the closest to the princess' eye color, so, he chooses it. Every time it reflects light, he remembers the princess' face.

Next, they go to a cafeteria where they have a light snack. They eat happily, ordering red velvet cake, which the café is famous for. While they eat, a familiar voice calls Princess Ariana from outside.

"Your Highness," the two turn to the origin of the voice. From outside, they see Prince Louis, who has business on this side of the Capital.

"Prince Louis," the princess and Leon stand up, "to what may I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh, I was just passing by, just had matter to attend to. I was surprised when I saw the two of you eating so casually under the eyes of royalty, especially when you are getting married yourself, princess," Louis suspiciously replies.

"I was just treating him, as thanks for saving my life. It is the only way I could properly thank him, as it is customary in my kingdom."

"I see, I'll leave you two then," Louis leaves with suspicion, sorrow, and anger in his heart. He is jealous of his brother with the engagement, but now another rival appears who has caught the attention of the woman he loves.

Meanwhile, the two finishes their snack. They visit the tower, which has a great view of the docks and the sea.

"I've always dreamed of going on a journey," the princess says. "Go places and live a life that I haven't lived before. Do things that I never thought I would do. Learn and love."

"That is a beautiful dream, princess."

"A dream that may be unachievable. I wish that I wasn't a princess. I want freedom. I want to do what I want to do."

"Dreams are what we strive for. If you put your heart into making it come true. Then it will surely come to you. And your dreams will come true."

"Thank you, Leon," the princess approaches him. "Return to me safely. You are my knight, always and forever."

"I will, Your Highness."

As the sun reaches its peak, it is time for Leon to go back and prepare for his assignment. Before he can go, Ariana kisses him on the forehead. The two return to the palace. As Leon leaves the palace ground to head to the barracks, Ariana could do nothing but watch as his beloved leave him for his duty.