So dangerous

SUMIRE

Another way of preventing Akishima from visiting her in her sleep is staying over at Toh's. To be exact Toh's presence. She tested this theory before, falling asleep in Toh's place before he came home and Akishima still visited her. However, when Toh is around Akishima doesn't show. She wonders if it has anything to do with Toh's evolved human powers.

Toh, ever since their trip she has had very complicated thoughts about their relationship.

Regrets and yet, there is something else.

Something she is refusing to acknowledge.

Her eyes snapped open and she took a glance at her surroundings. Darkness, no not complete darkness. There is light, light from the the moonlight shining through the window and the bright lamp on the bedside table. Then her gaze drift onto the flimsy nightgown she was wearing-

Two heavy arms wrapped around her, tucking her securely into a man's embrace. Her legs tucked against his, her hands curled on his back.

It takes her a moment to recall what happened and afterwards she starts cursing. Her crying out and kicking in her sleep, her hands threatening to claw out her arms. Toh stopping her, leading to them stumbling on the bed. Him singing, and saying her name softly.

Him singing. Sumire repeated those words in her head. It shouldn't surprise her that he can sing too. Toh already proved to her that he could dance well, and even helped a newbie idol group with their dance. He really is a man of many talents.

But more importantly, she wonders how many more times she will show this weak and vulnerable side of herself.

Since they started dating, she has tried as much as possible not to do anything too crazy that will make him worry about her. However, since they returned from their trip. Her nightmares have become increasingly worse, almost like someone was mocking her for trying to obtain happiness when she doesn't deserve it.

A dirty liar.

She doesn't deserve Yuhi, she never did. But, the same goes for Toh. All the guys who fall in love with her are too good for her. They deserve somebody better. Somebody who isn't broken and a mess.

Sumire knew she ought to move away. She ought to leave. Even though she was the one who suggested a day of cuddling. She still isn't used to such acts of affection. Waking up and sleeping in the arms of someone who loves and cherishes her still feels strange.

She needs to get up before she does something stupid, like attack those delicious looking lips and stare at that handsome face- or grab his hands and make him touch her in places she shouldn't be allowing.

Desire, lust. Of course she knew what they were. Despite how clueless she is regarding romance. She knew what desire was about. She knew that from the moment she met Mashima Toh, she felt a spark of desire. Desire isn't limited to romance, so the desire she felt towards Toh. At first she didn't think much of it. A desire to be close to someone new, someone different. A desire for the unknown, for change. A desire for disaster.

It was only when he started teaching her about building up her resistance towards guys. Did she understand that perhaps the desire she felt towards this person was something completely different. Something beyond her control and understanding.

Sumire shakes her head and sits up, carefully moving his hands away from her, making sure she didn't wake him. It was only when her feet hit the floor, did she feel his arms grab hold onto her wrist pulling her towards him.

Toh is sitting up with her on his lap. At first she squirms in his hold, insisting that she needed to leave. She made up all sorts of excuses. But, Toh wasn't stupid. He has been around her long enough by now.

Toh brushed their foreheads together, his grip on her wrist firm but Sumire noticed that he was trying his best not to hurt her.

"Tell me."

It was just two words, and yet Sumire sensed the desperation in his tone. He knows. She must have let something slip earlier. She tries to recall exactly what she might have told him. But, the memory doesn't come back to her.

"I had to-" Toh paused. "-I mean, your thoughts were leaking on their own. In order to push them back, I had to look."

Takes her a moment to understand what Toh was implying. He looked at her memories. No, that's wrong. She leaked them and he had no choice but to look.

It's an invasion of privacy regardless, and Toh knows that. That's why he is looking away.

She decides to just kiss him. Maybe it was due to the crazy thoughts she had just a few minutes ago. Or maybe, she just wanted to break him. He looks so guilty, and she actually has the right to feel mad at him. But she feels nothing, there is nothing.

She wants this, she wants more. She wants what he has been giving her the past two weeks. Touches of desire, of love and happiness that cannot last.

After the initial shock wears off, Toh takes charge of the kiss. He briefly breaks their lips apart and growls. "You're so dangerous."

She is, she always will be.

She cannot be the heroine in anybody's story, she can only be the villain.

In fairytales, the females would wake up in tears, and emotionally cuddle with their lover. Instead, what she did just now sparked the desire in Toh. She did something a villain would do, because that is the role that was assigned from her from the start.

But she forgets something, from the very start. Toh has never seen her as a villain nor treated her one. So, he won't suddenly start. Indeed, despite the desire that flashed through his eyes. He drew back and tapped her forehead lightly.

He gently massages her arm and Sumire looks down to see why. Scars, she made with her own fingers.

"Toh, you don't have to be so good to me." Sumire decides to break the silence between them.

He doesn't have to be so kind. He must be tired of all of this by now. Being around her is emotionally draining, how many others have left her because they cannot handle her emotional baggage? So many. Toh shouldn't be any different from them.

*Unedited*