So precious

SUMIRE

He shouldn't be. But, he keeps doing things, things that make her believe that he is different. If it was the past, she would have believed he was tricking her into a false sense of security. Only to betray her later. That's how she summarized her relationship with Nagawa Sano, and every other person who has betrayed her.

But, she cannot do so with Toh and she doesn't understand why that is. From the moment they met, she instinctively trusted him.

"I-I can't, I can't even tell you that I love you. I'm broken and a mess. I don't deserve you Toh, you deserve better."

Please stop already.

Please leave her, please treat her like all the others.

Please stop proving you are different.

Toh shakes his head and ran his hands through her hair, gently combing it. "I told you, I can wait no matter how long it takes. Even if it takes a long time, even if you never say it. I will be fine with it."

"There is no way you can be okay with that-" Sumire exclaimed.

How can he accept that type of relationship?

"Since we are on this topic. I know things have been strange between us since we returned from the trip."

Sumire laughed bitterly. "You noticed, but you still had sex with me?"

"I didn't want you to think I suddenly didn't want you. Because even when I knew your heart was with another person, I still wanted you."

"I suppose all guys are like that."

Toh frowned. "Make no mistake, had it been another woman I wouldn't have bothered and let them go."

"So, are you trying to say I am special? Or maybe you pity me more because my circumstances are so messed up that not even you know what to do with me."

What is she doing? Why is she being so cruel?

Her thoughts break off when Toh cupped her cheeks. "I'm saying, no matter what you do. I will fall deeper and deeper in love with you."

"Even if that love will break you?" Sumire whispered.

Even if loving her will cause more damage, more sadness, pain than happiness? Does he truly want that?

"I'd rather break than lose you."

He crushes his lips against hers forcing it open, their tongues battling. A desperate kiss, a loving kiss. She moans softly against his lips as she ran her fingers through his hair.

At some point, her hands found his clothes and she started tugging on the shirt with just as much desperation. That was when Toh broke their lips apart.

"No can do beautiful."

Sumire frowned, she wanted to ask why. When Toh pressed his hands against the slit of her nightgown she winced. She recalled how Akishima slashed her leg with a blade.

"You're hurt." Toh trailed off. "You don't have to tell me what happened. But, you should let me treat your wounds."

Sumire nodded and Toh pulled her off his lap, as he stood up and headed towards the cabinets on the other side of the room.

If Akishima is only a ghost that is haunting her in her sleep. Then the damage he causes to her shouldn't reflect on her body when she wakes up. But even without her looking, she would feel the pain. The sensation from his touches.

Toh returned with the med kit box. He kneeled on the ground, and raised her nightgown again.

"It hurts me when I see cuts on your pretty body beautiful."

"Uh, I will be more careful."

'Maybe it's because we have done it more than once now. But, he touches me so easily now.'

"I have to apologise for being occupied the past few days."

"You don't have to apologize-"

Toh shakes his head. "But I do, I promised I would be there for you during your harshest times."

Yes, he did promise her something like that. But promises can be broken. She of all people should know that.

"You've been busy."

Because he has, due to the festival. Toh has been staying over at the University a lot. Moreover, it has been two weeks since his shop opened officially. It's only natural that he hasn't been around as much. As one of his models, she saw him a lot during rehearsals and they have spent some time together. But, those moments have been very short.

"I missed you." Sumire added.

Toh squeezes her knee gently. "I'm sorry. I'll be more attentive. Why don't you stay over for awhile?"

Even if he didn't suggest it she would have. She is getting tired of dealing with Akishima every night. She needs a good nights sleep without worrying about why that man is haunting her. Or if he is truly a ghost.

"I will."

"Good." Toh continues to work on the injuries on her leg, and eventually wraps a band aid around it. "Just to be on the safe side. The wound isn't too large, but you do move around a lot. We don't want it getting infected."

"I have a job tomorrow."

Toh sighed deeply. "Cancel."

"Okay." There is no use arguing. If she doesn't cancel it, she wouldn't put it past Toh to use his connections. "Since I'm stuck here anyway, can you show me the new designs your working on for your new collection?"

Toh's lips curve to a smile. "Your very attentive when it comes to my work."

"That's because I know you use me as your inspiration."

She wants to see what type of clothes he creates with her image. How is it possible for him to create such beautiful garments while thinking of her? It makes no sense.

It was almost like Toh knew what she was thinking, since he suddenly grabbed hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. For a moment she froze. This is not the first time Toh has kissed her hand like this and yet something is different.

"You're so precious to me beautiful. I hope one day you realize why I love you so much, why I treasure you. Why I want to touch you all the time. Why I want to shield you from the horrors of this world and why I want to make you the happiest person in this world."

He kissed each fingertip slowly and she was speechless. She can't win against him. He is one of the few people that can render her speechless. She has no words left. Even if she wants to argue against him that she isn't worth it. He will say something else that will leave her just as speechless and baffled.

She doesn't deserve it, any of this. Doesn't deserve this gorgeously beautiful human being. But, she won't let him go either.

*Unedited*