2. Insurgent Laundry Detergent: A Revolutionary Parody, Chapter 1

After the young master and Cassandra returned to the mansion they discussed the eerie occurrence with the other two foxes. It was once again suggested that Cassandra spoke with her father, since the word “Committee” was heard yet again, and also partially because the young master had received a death threat. Cassandra however was still somewhat reluctant and was just talking about how the encountered man was a better escape artist than Houdini. As they were thus discussing someone else suddenly entered the room. It was none other than Yuki, the girl who escorted the young master to the nurse’s office ever so kindly.

“I am sorry to interrupt but I really need to tell you something,” Yuki said panting. Everyone stopped talking and looked at her. So people just went in and out of my parent’s house as if it was theirs now. How did it come to this?

“I didn’t know where else to go. You guys seemed like the right people to talk to,” she continued. I wanted to say something but then decided not to. It probably wouldn’t have been a very nice thing.

“You are more than welcome to talk to us,” Shadowfox said. No one asked why she even knew where I lived. It seemed like I was the only one who was suspicious of that fact, it wasn’t their house after all.

We will now commence with Yuki’s story, which is once again a dark and frightening indulgence. A few days after Yuki had her brief encounter with the young master, she felt a strange presence in her bedroom. It occurred when she was already wrapped in her silky beddings after she finished her nightly cocoa and box of chocolate. Ready to drift into a sweet slumber, she closed her eyes. Only to instantly cast them wide open again. There was something lurking at the window. Yuki rose to a sitting position and tried to get a closer look at the spectral presence. The room was however fairly dark and it was hard to make out anything. But she definitely felt that something was there. Her suspicion was confirmed after she heard the sound of the window opening. With a screeching noise the old window opened, then a dark anthropomorphic creature climbed nimbly through the open window. On soundless boots the nocturnal guest was pussyfooting his way to Yuki’s bed. Yuki was aware of his presence but she was too frightened to move, or perhaps she just had too much chocolate. The creature then proceeded to creep into the velvety bed. Yuki was so petrified she couldn’t even scream and was instantly regretting leaving the welcome mat out on the balcony. Finally the uncanny visitor had his mouth on her soft neck and dug his teeth gently into it. This wasn’t quite as erotic as you might imagine, it was in fact a rather painful experience. She could feel her body turning numb, her blood leaving the body. But to her surprise she wasn’t dying. In an instant the whole disturbing sensation had vanished. She was lying in her bed as if nothing happened, her welcome mat still out on the balcony, her digestion still fighting with the lactose. It occurred to her that it might had been a dream. But it was closer to reality than a mere dream, it was as if it actually happened. To her bewilderment and to some degree disgust she saw that same dark figure outside the window again. Panic-stricken by that unwelcome deja-vu, she left her comfy bed and ran out of the room. Not knowing where to go for a moment she then somehow felt that it was a good idea to talk to the young master and his strange friends.

“I swear that’s exactly what happened. It was like a premonition of some sort. Like I saw what happened before it was happening,” Yuki explained, still panting. She told it to us as if it was the weirdest thing ever but to me it seemed like a normal day. It was Tuesday, to be exact. This kind of stuff was happening to me all the time.

“Are we correct to assume that the attacker was trying to drink your blood?” Shadowfox asked.

“Well…yes. Ok, it sounds ridiculous now when you say it like that,” she answered.

“Okay, Yuki, our standard for ridiculous is a little different than yours I think. Because your story doesn’t really seem all that ridiculous to me. If anything it sounds like a normal day of my life. Now would you mind leaving my house? Because you see, it’s not your house,” I finally said. Yuki’s excitement vanished and a somewhat disappointed look covered her face.

“See this is why you never made any friends at school,” Cassandra said.

“No, that was because the bodyguard was constantly standing behind me. And then he tried to kill us all, so it was a little difficult to build any new friendships,” I explained.

“Could you two be quiet for a moment?” Shadowfox interrupted us. Then he turned to Yuki again.

“You have a very special gift, I can sense it. You are indeed able to see events before they happen. But only certain life-threatening events. Which means we have to take this seriously. This is a strong fox spirit power which is only rarely seen,” he revealed to her.

“My mother mentioned something like that once. She used the word Kitsune. But you see, my mother was an alcoholic and she said a lot of weird things so I didn’t really take it seriously,” Yuki answered.

“Well she was speaking the truth. All of us here possess powers or magic weapons of some sorts and you are more than welcome to join us,” Shadowfox said.

“Yeah, being able to see the future is actually a pretty neat skill to have,” I added. Yuki didn’t say anything for a moment. No one said anything, it was a bit of an awkward silence, so I wanted to say something witty but before I could Yuki started to speak.

“Okay, I just waited for someone to laugh, because I thought you were joking but apparently you are serious,” she said. Now I didn’t know what to say anymore.

“You guys are nuts, you know that?” she continued.

“We are quite aware, yes. But what you just told us doesn’t really make you look sane either,” I answered.

“I guess you’re right,” Yuki resignedly answered.

After Shadowfox introduced everyone to their newest member, it was time to decide a name for her as well. She was therefore formally dubbed Seeing Eye Fox, for her powers were the powers of seeing the future.

 “Really? Because everyone else is blind or what?” I asked, looking at Shadowfox.

“Well in a way that’s not so wrong, is it?” was his answer. I couldn’t argue with that. I kind of felt like a blind cave salamander groping in the darkness, not knowing what to do next. Even though cave salamanders probably knew their way around caves very well. First this Committee and now creatures that were keen on drinking people’s blood. We still had to bring Cassandra to talk to her father, which seemed to be a greater challenge than I had thought.

“So if this creature was one that seeks human blood, there is no doubt what we are dealing with here. It must have been a vampire,” Shadowfox continued. Sighing I closed my eyes for a while.

“If I had to choose between a vampire and a werewolf, I would still rather fight a werewolf,” I opined.

“We’re done with werewolves,” Cassandra immediately answered. I hoped she was right.

“Can’t we be done with all of the supernatural creatures?” I said, as I had seriously enough of it.