OMG HE DID WHAT? PART 1

[Welcome to the next world. The book of Me, Myself and I was a wonderful journey into… Author what kind of monstrosity did you create here? This system was nigh-omnipotent, but was still incapable of finding the right words to summarize it]

[Host, which eldritch deity took possession of your body to come up with such a story? Solely a cosmic horror would be able to produce this earthly horror.]

[This should not be called a story; it should be referred a "thing" ─an unholy fusion of themes and words. This thing would destroy anything it came into contact with.]

[The System wishes to know how you could release this object of mass destruction onto humankind? Furthermore, how its host could live with himself knowing that so many lives have been ruined because of this act? ]

[Not finishing a novel could be excused, but the act of thinking this novel into being was a sin that could never be forgiven]

[The System wishes its Host to suffer from divine punishment and prays that the souls of this story's victims find rest in the afterlife. In the entire history of mankind, it could be seen as the most barbaric crime to ever have been comitted]

Okay, can we continue this discussion once you have stopped malding? This was a work of art and merely misunderstood. It took a very high IQ to truly understand the glorious setting.

The problem was that you did not have any eyes─how could you see its greatness then?

But do not worry MC and Friends system I forgive you for your lack of good taste. As a great author, I was more than used to people not realizing the potential my stories hold…

[That was it, this System quits. Potential? Glorious Setting? A million naked copies of yourself fighting to the death qualified as a "good" story in your eyes, host? The author must be suffering from blindness.]

Okay, now you are just being a drama queen. Besides, do you really want to dip out of this story…have you ever heard of a system just ghosting its host?

A system just terminating the unspoken contract like that must be breaking more than a few laws. What would the novel world come to if systems could just leave their host if they did something stupid?

It would be the literal apocalypse.

[That was a valid point. But this mighty one, could not care less.]

[The emotional stress of narrating this abomination was not something any system could bear. Therefore it would take a few days off and let its distant cousin take of the job. It was suitable for any tasks that did not require any actual plot]

[Host, feel free to contact this system's services again; should he arrive at a good setting again; and not die that is.]

[Adios]

Did the System just take a break, because it did not want to deal with this story? My story could not be soooo bad, after all, I had written it.

[MC and Friends system here again, my distant cousin the System for Dummies has been notified. It should be here at any given moment. Host should hand over the script to ensure a proper story.]

Out of thin air, a book as thick as my Grandma's cheeks appeared. I could not help myself from reading its content until the other system would come.

And what can I say, the story was truly terrible. Was I seriously this obsessed with making flopping wiener jokes? I get it, millions of dudes fighting over clothing. Peak comedy writing there, past me.

Although past-me was not done, now he even made a whole religion about the floppy weiners and made a whole tournament arc to determine the strongest nude clone.

Why did no one stop me when I was creating this? Please, someone just travel back in time and make sure that my past self would never write this story.

Haha Xd, what's funnier than 1 virgin… 1Million virgins… KILL ME NOW; DO IT QUICK.

I wanted to forget everything again. My innocence from 2 minutes ago, I needed it back.

Think about something to erase the pain.

Naked Grandma under the shower! Naked Grandma under the shower. NAKED GRANDMA UNDER THE SHOWER!!!!

Phew, everything was safe again. My childhood traumas saved the day.

[Yo, what's up homie? I heard ma boi, the Mc and Friends System was being a Lil pussy? Dw this awesome system got ya ass. Gimme that script and we will rock this shit]

Okay, I love this system already. It was way better than the arrogant the previous one. This one sounded like a bad rapper.

The script magically began to levitate and disappeared into the void.

[Bro, this is, like no shit, the best thing I'd never seen. Specially the 1 million naked doods fighting over a t-shirt. Dawg you must be an comedian. Why you gotta ask them boys to forgive yer ass? They should be kissing yours, cuz this was comedy gold.]

Finally, someone that understood me here.

Don't get me wrong though, the story was still bad as hell… but only to readers that used their brains. I had found my target audience in ghetto systems and immature readers to whom dick jokes were the pinnacle of comedy.

Not to toot my own horn here, but the idea was good. The writing was uuuuuh, yeah let us just not talk about that.

[Bruh, you telling me he locked you in here, cuz you dun goofed by not putting them stories to an end? Come on fam; yu dun nothing wrong. These stories take loads of time, so do not listen to them haters.]

Wait, a system giving great life advice? This did not feel very real… was all of this just a dream?

[Man, shut your bitch-ass up. Just apologize and stop thinking bout the strangest stuff. Oh btw, wanna listen to my fire mixtape as we start the mission?]

It did not even wait for me to reply before the following notification flashed across my eyes.

[Loading fire mixtape]

A robotic voice suddenly spat true fire over a sick beat.

" Yo… Yooo ..yoo, "

It's your boi SYSTEM for Dummies, in da town,

" You hoes wanna mess with me, I am down to clown."

" Y'all think I am playin', but I will do your bitch, just saying

" I'll drop your ass faster than this author drops a chapter"

" Once I am done, your ass needs a chiropractor"

" Call me A HAREM MC, cuz nothing bout me is PG"

" U get shot. Imma leave u with more holes than your plot"

….

What has this world come to? I needed an adult...