Intermission-What is love? Baby, please don't hurt me!

As an author, I should be a man of words, yet I am at a loss on how to tell my readers about what had happened. Mere minutes ago the world was literally ending─now, I was talking to a "hermit" high on bath salts.

The dude was telling me he had visions from another world, a world where someone had proposed to me; wishing for kids n' shit.

I swore to never do bath salts again; they were not good for your health as seen here.

But, how did I come to be trapped with this weirdo? I was glad that you didn't ask. You see, the Mop spun really fast in a circle and created a whirlpool in this sea of nosebleeds.

Causing all of my clones and I to go "WEEE". All of us were dragged into it and a big-fast concentrated laser-fire to through us like butter. Imagine we were vegetables in a mixer and the laser was, well, a laser.

This continued for some time, till even more people joined in on this fun event and I luckily dropped down below to a small gap. Thus, I was flung into the Endless Vomitlands, BUUUUT still safe from the permanent cycle of aliven't.

The only real problem was the fact that a self-proclaimed Hermit, let's call him Exposition dude, could not keep quiet to save his god damn life.

Above me were the meatshields that died and respawned over and over again to prevent the laser from killing me.

Did I look like I would need any backstory info? Seriously, did someone tattoo " Me=dumb, please inform me about literally anything, cuz I can't think for myself?" on my forehead? Did I really need to check it?

Of, course Exposition dude did not get the memo and kept on talking. Getting killed by the laser became more and more appealing with each passing second. At this point, I would take anything just for brief moments of silence.

Alas, the blabla-ing continued and the laser was taking its sweet time to release me from this misery. Wowsers, I did not know that these people usually died very often... I had eyes and I have written this story─still very much wow.

Tell me more things I already knew, tell me more fun facts about this world, tell me more useless facts. While you were at it, would you kindly blow my brains out as well?

I would rather not have a brain if it meant having to listen to this Exposition dude talk for one more god damn second. Please, I would love some peace and quiet.

Ah yes, the whole love thing I had talked about in the beginning; it was a tad concerning that someone wanted kids from me. Like dude, dudette or Mop has anyone of you guys seen what mess my "writing" babies were?

I could not be trusted to take care of my fictional babies, why would the flesh-version be any better?

Did you want to land in prison, cuz that was the way to land in prison?

But yeah, vowing your eternal undying love to me... was kinda creepy ngl. Yandere were only hot in Anime; outside in the real world, they fall under the crazy biatch category. And this comment gave off major "I would love to keep your corpse with me for all of eternity" vibes.

I do appreciate people loving me, but damn love yourself first. Cuz ain't nobody would be loving you like that. Waking up with a knife lodged in your back, was at the very least, not my definition of being crazily in love... just saying.

A relationship like that sounded fun and healthy in theory...someone, whose entire world revolved around nothing other than yourself. Someone, who would never betray you or do anything to upset you.

For these people, even the most degenerate losers out there, would be their one and everything.

I would find it really concerning if a lady would love me to such an extent. Ya know, she had to be really mental to obsess over a dude like me. With billions of peeps out there, which sane person would choose me of all people?

Exactly, logically speaking anyone obsessing over a random dude must be clinically insane─there was no other explanation possible. Or do you think, you of all people, deserve the glorious anime tiddies that came with your hot yandere?

Exactly, we all were going to die alone. We came to this world as virgins and as such, we would leave it.

So, be a good boy and hand over all your powerstones to support me in my quest to further insult you guys. This is for the greater cause, it is for my success. Otherwise, you too might have to listen to this Exposition dude about all the weird info reaaaaaly nobody could be arsed about.

I did not need to smoke fancy herbs to tell you that more clones were coming to this place.

These masochists came from the distant corners of this world to fight over the title of "most deaths achieved by a mop".

The competition was as fierce as it was stupid─just how I made these bastards.

I had no idea how high the death counter had climbed, but I could hear the level-up notifications even down here. My estimations would be at around 10 million, if not more.

"Dude did you know that all these guys were still virgins as well?" said the Exposition dude, still high on bath salts and other unknown substances.

The "love doctor" was right though since it would never have been believable if any of these psychos found a willing sexual partner.

Yet, If anyone had a world full of female yandere and was looking to get rid of them... I was willing to negotiate. I am sure we would find an agreeable solution to find love for all of our psychopaths. Didn't they deserve each other very much?

All they need to win over the heart of these superhumans were clothes─what a total catch.

Dragons were not exactly in my budget, but playing matchmaker for psychos was perfectly fine.

These dudes needed some motivation to finally beat the Mop and bring me to the next world. And a crazy damsel in distress was better than no damsel at all. Look, the male lizard brain liked to show off to impress potential mating partners...

What do you think would happen, if an entire planet of those people would come here?

The power of horny would prevail and the Mop would learn to fear the power of the pp.

Only thing left to do was wait for all the offers to roll in and somehow stay sane with the "Hermit" close to me.

Please...Someone...Give....Me...The...Strength...

TO NOT KILL THIS MAN ON THE SPOT.