Raid-Boss Wishomoppu (7)

I was sick and tired of this entire battle. Two quasi-immortal beings fighting to the death and here I was soon succumbing to old age. Who could have expected that literally, nothing significant has happened?

This entire battle from the meteors to the launched clones was simply a gigantic waste of everyone's time. Without a doubt, it was very unique and not lacking in creativity...but still the most boring fight I had ever seen.

Where was the tension, where were the emotions?

My audience would assume my story to be a comedy seeing such a heartless scene. No, I could not allow any reader to be misled by this event. I was the protagonist of a very serious story.

Letting my journey be ruined by naked clones and a sentient Mop could not be tolerated. It was an obligation to take of this disturbance and return this story to the core issue─the betterment of an author, who was dropping stories like your average Chad dropped panties.

A serious story needed serious action.

I could not lay down and pretend to be dead; I needed to do the one thing I had always been destined for... become a Beeg Psycho Trainer, the best ever.

Pushing my tired leg upwards, my small frame made its way towards the busily kicking giant. The exposition dude at my side tried to warn me, but this had to be done. Even at the risk of being kicked and subsequently launched into orbit; it had to be achieved at all costs.

The closer I came to the enormous fusion, the more I realized the sheer extent of its size. With legs as thick as the Mom from your Mom jokes and arms as juiced as 10 bodybuilders on steroids, it was a machine of absolute savagery.

Every single step of this beast caused the ground to shake under the massive weight of its muscles.

These muscles of pure steel were perfect for combating air-prone enemies such as meteoroids, just as I arrived the last fused clone of mine was used to destroy the last filthy flying object.

Now, the Beeg Psycho was alone once more. His deep gaze looked into the far distant at his sworn nemesis, Wishmoppu.

" You have done well, you are indeed worth defeating. Bear witness to my true form," the majestic voice echoed through the world announcing the arrival of an unfathomable existence.

From the Heavens descended an object of pure myth. A handle made from the finest gold shimmered in the sun's rays. Chiselled into the metal were fancy scriptures and holistic, never seen before, symbols.

Arrthymatically pulsating in a crimson hue they formed a stark contrast to the feeling of purity exuded by the sacred cleaning tool.

"Before there were words, thoughts and matter - there was only Chaos. Nothingness ruled over emptiness. And nothingness embraced the primordial spirits. All were equal, and all was fair."

A bright light clad the world in an aura of serenity as Wishmoppu slowly glid through the air towards the Earth.

" Before there were words, thoughts and matter - there was true peace. Nothingness was a kind ruler. Emptiness was content, lacking form and substance. Only the primordial spirits were at odds with the status quo."

The Mop's hair, tentacles of the finest ivory, was dancing gently in the soft wind of change, which blew through the land of endless grass.

"The notion of self festered in the primordial spirits. It planted a seed of doubt; the misconception that one had to be something. Blind pursuit of the false ideals led to ego, emotions and an equilibrium, anew. Individuality had been born and corrupted the natural order..."

"Consequently, nothingness was banished from its kingdom. Nothing could not remain, else it would be something. Emptiness was no more for it was filled with primordial spirits."

Two wings sprouted from the golden back, carrying the colour of the blackest abyss. Another pair appeared, yet they were as white as the fallen snow on a winter morning.

"Existence was the very first sin, the biggest injustice against the world of absolute equality. I have come to alleviate the maleficence and return true balance to this world."

Gallantly the golden figure had landed on the ground, causing it to splinter and crack from the immense pressure the entity emitted. Its appearance was spotless, free from any impurity. This was a cleaning tool that defied common sense.

"I represent the will of the Heavens, I am the Ender of worlds, I am the one they call Wishmoppu"

Its thundering voice bellowed through the vicinity causing it to tremble violently. Even the air seemingly began to shake and twist violently. The declaration of war echoed through the entire realm for any being to hear that the day of judgement had arrived.

"Dear Child of Filth, I hath come to bring salvation...to return a lost soul to the root it has forsaken. To lead you to your origin─be one, in eternity, with nihility. Rejoice, I shall sunder the filth of your form. "

"NOW, LET US DANCE!"

This speech brought Beeg Psycho into a predicament... how should it face such a monstrosity?

Taking a deep breath, he regained a clear focus and devised an ingenious plan: to introduce himself to his enemy.

"Ahem, my name is Joe Doe... I was in my twenties when I died due to my nut allergy. It is nice to make your acquaintance."

Such a bold tactic caused the almighty Wishmoppu to be greatly confused by its enemy. Was this a secret strategy to gain the upper hand in a battle of pure psychology?

As the creator, I could tell that it was simply social awkwardness. Else, he would have made an epic speech as well. Now both of them stared at each other unsure of what to do next. After all, it could not be an entertaining battle─that would be illegal.

So, once more the waiting game had begun...

" Uh, are we supposed to fight now?" said my clone Joe Doe looking at the equally confused mop with wings. The fate of the world rested on his shoulders, but sure, have a chat with your enemy.

Maybe, you two could grab a beer or two and talk about them wife and kids; how stressful working your job was. Watch the unlikely friendship between a giant psycho and an ancient devil hellbent on purging the world blossom.

Believe you me, the readers would love to read about a coming-of-age story, where these 2 beings were to fall in love with one another. Cuz that was what this story needed the most a forced romance.

" Uhm, yeah.... we should start to fight," the reply came late and had a questioning undertone...as the Mop was starting to realize the sheer lack of brain cells its enemy had.

At the very least, they assumed their positions and the fight finally started...right?

Dear God, let this end!