Bugs, Glitches and other funny reasons I consider suing the system for

Hello there, it has been quite some time since I have last seen you guys here.... how has life treated you? Did you finally pass college? Or did some of you finally find a partner to share your life with? Either way, I was so glad to have you guys back again.

You could never believe how terrible my time had been here. And this was not one of the usual, dramatic acting sessions to trick little kids into believing that all of this was torture to me. This was not me playing a joke...

If hell did exist, it could not be worse than what I just had to suffer through.

For days, months, years or even decades...the ad about single mops in your area had terrorized my mind. Time lost any meaning, day in and day out, all I heard was the moaning of these cleaning tools.

The screen in the sky was stuck in a constant loop of this sloppy, wet mess being cleaned. Who cared about the buff it would have given? For ages, I begged that this nightmare would just come to an end...

...but no mercy was shown. Instead, it would start over─again and again.

Do you see why I did not call this entire situation a jolly good time? Yet, one could not even escape this mess by closing the eyes... Noooo, the entire sound was blasted in your ears, causing all the images to come to haunt you once more.

Which did not fall under the concept of "very fun," at least, in my book. I was not nearly masochistic enough to deem this an enjoyable time. To each their own, but I was not into hot, single mops.

Unless, of course, they were filthy rich. Then, I'd call them Mommy in a heartbeat. Having a sugar-mop was not bad in the slightest─or so I have heard.

Anyways, as you can see, I was mentally tormented and only the warm embrace of fresh powerstones could ease my pain. That was normally the point in each chapter, where I would go on a long rant about people not giving me those, yet today's chapter was sponsored by 3 kind souls.

The author of System for dummies would like to thank Noblequeenbee, the dude named James, who got me into this mess and Mia silver for their generous donation of 4 powerstones in total.

Damn it, I broke character again.

Okay, guys believe me having to watch this stuff was really not pleasant. I might have overreacted for comedic purposes, though it was still pretty annoying to watch this cleaning tool porn ad.

Seriously, the only thing I wanted was the damn buff for the fight. Yet, the ad was running in a loop because the system was not coded correctly. Quite obnoxious, innit? These developers were always so darn quick to charge you, but if it was about fixing their buggy mess they were nowhere to be seen.

Or did they seriously want me to click on the ad about horny, single mops? The system was buggy enough as is, there ain't no well in hell I click on this virus-infested dating site. Who knew what would happen if I foolishly did something stupid?

"System could you finally stop showing me this ad, I do think I have watched more than enough"

Silence was the only response I got. Instead, the sound was continuously blasted into my ear as if they wanted to turn this whole ad into a core memory of my life.

Who would not want to vividly recall the trauma induced by this vicious cleaning montage? My therapist was already salivating at the thought alone of how many lessons it would take to turn me back into a normal human again...

Before that could happen though, I needed to get out of this shithole and for that, I needed this system to finally respond to me.

[The application is not responding, do you wish to restart the software?]

Hmm, what a hard decision. On one hand, there was restarting the system and on the other was waiting for another round of fap-material for Wishmoppu. I needed more time to think about this.

"Yes, of course. And for our future cooperation, please show me other ads. These were not relevant."

[The application is not responding, do you wish to restart the software to restart the software?]

Who coded this hot piece of garbage? How did they even manage to crash a program to shut down the entire process. At this point, one must have actively tried to make it as unreliable as possibly.

There was no way it could be messed up to such an extent by the sheer stupidity of everyone involved. I would have loved to sue someone for handing the main character such an inferior product.

Yet, I lacked the funds to get a lawyer and an actual person or entity to sue.

For now, all I had were bugged-out messages and an undying conviction to scream the System into restarting itself.

"Yes, dearest System. I would love to restart the software to restart the software." I was still being nice because anger would not cause the entire process to be over any quicker.

Haha, I was just kidding. DEAR SYSTEM, CAN YOU HURRY THE FUuUuUuck UP? I want to keep this story as family-friendly as humanly possible and you were not making it any easy for me right now...

One bugged system message more about something malfunctioning again and I would show everyone just how many curse words I knew.

And spoiler alert, there were a lot of words, which would get this novel banned faster than humanly possible. I would be the first person to be cancelled inside their own story.

"System, do not disappoint me... Shut....Yourself....Down"

[The application is not responding. The system will be shut down and start the reboot process.....]

Yes, Yes, YES, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES─I was slightly happy with the results the system has given to me.

....[After 2 ads have been shown to the host]

....

The following scene had to be cut out of the story due to the sheer amount of profanity the main character used to voice his frustrations. Absolutely no one should try to locate the uncensored version of this novel. It is deemed harmful for young and old and dead audience members.

Should anyone claim to have access to said original scene, contact us immediately. We were responsible for the mental health of our audience and we were taking that job very seriously. Should anyone watch the scene despite the multiple warnings, we do hope their soul finds peace in the afterlife...

This was not a threat; it was a promise.

Thank you for your attention and patience with Author on his journey towards betterment.

Ps... dear Audience please be a bit more specific in regards as to how your powerstones are to be used. The Dong expansion wish caused the confused system to overheat after trying to expand the Vietnamese currency into the story.