Achievements and other things relating to getting stuff done.

[Rat-san has been defeated. Beeg Psycho gained 1 XP and 1 gold]

Many notifications like that flashed across my eyes, which made me feel really happy for a few seconds. Until my other clones started another round of battles and new rat-sans were thrown into the stomach-battle-royal.

Though for once I had no need to worry about the assault of the notifications as the pain could not even be registered in my brain before I had been dissolved in the stomach acid.

Although this only applied to me and my monster as the rat-sans were not as lucky as us.

The bunch of them had to wait for their time because the Beeg Psycho took his time with the all-you-can-eat buffet in front of his eyes. Let's just say─they would have to wait a bit or two.

My very intelligent readers surely understood this very clever joke of mine, but for the rest... bit as in bite because they were gonna be eaten. Now, after receiving the explanation, one should surely applaud my vastly superior intellect.

I was just messing with you at this point in time, everyone that did not drop my story after all of this deserved my utmost respect. Not like that was worth anything, but it's the thought that counted.

At least, I kept telling myself that. Kinda hard to ask the audience for feedback, when all of them were bots. The only real readers of mine had long jumped the ship and joined in another good story.

Or they might waste their youth reading smut. Well, they most likely were doing just that.

So, it did hurt a little that I lost the readers to an equally useless story. Though, in the end, they were the ones losing out on the so many good things my novel had to offer.

I could not tell you what they were missing out on, yet there had to be some things in my story that some beat-you-meat literature did not have.

If someone said, "Yes, your story does not have any readers", then I would personally come out of this story into your reality and kick your butt. This was not a threat; it was a god damn promise. Fite me, coward!

My English might not be the yellow from the egg, but I am very proficient in the language of using my fisticuffs. For those that still did not get it. My fist and your face will have a meet and greet should you talk smack.

Anyways, threats of inflicting violence aside did you guys know about the slow levelling speed from my monster? Yes, you guys did?

Did you also know that I do not care about that? Yes, for those that were actually reading this story you would surely have come to understand me. Why exactly was I repeating stuff said ages ago?

Weeeelll, for once some of you might have the memory of a goldfish and others might have simply forgotten how to read the English language. Just kidding, I wanted to get the word count higher. No other motivation was needed than spewing more empty words.

I was running out of things to talk here...could you please just eat these rats faster?

[Congratulations the ability |Bite| has reached level 2 The attack speed has been doubled.]

...great. Now, I merely had to wait 5 seconds until another rat had been killed. Normally, this would have been a cause for a big celebration, but I was too busy being dissolved in stomach acid to care about a development like this.

Still, congratulations Beeg Psycho!!! You achieved a monumental achievement!!!!

From now on your feat of eating, would be recorded in the annals of history. All my fellow psycho clones were jealous of your process of consuming these small monsters. Nobody in this entire universe could have done what you just did.

You were the best and let nobody tell you otherwise. Go on my dear Child of the rat eatery and eat until you can not eat anymore.

[Congratulations 100 monsters have been slain. Unlocked Idle-mode.]

Great, now we even swapped the kind of game we were violating the copyrights from. At this point, the whole world might be able to sue me. What was one more gigantic company on the list of other gigantic companies I had violated the copyrights from?

"System, activate the Idle-Mode"

Yes, I had no idea what it would do. No, I could not be bothered to think about what it would do exactly. I would simply act very surprised regardless of whatever stupid stuff came to happen. As one in my situation was expected to do.

This was my life now.

[Entering Idle-modus. Current rate of monsters being killed: 12/m. Current Goldgain: 12/m]

[Gold in Total: 101 gold. Do you wish to invest in your unit?]

Next to the Beeg Psycho unit, a big plus sign appeared. Written beneath were the costs. At first, it was only 1 gold, but then it would increase rapidly...why was I even explaining stuff like that to you guys?

In short, spend some gold to make more gold per minute. Afterwards, you wait till you have enough gold to spend to earn even more gold per minute. And guess what... you wait once more until you have more money than before to spend it again to get more of it per minute.

That cycle repeated itself until the numbers were so high that the names were just strange combinations of letters.

Of course, every monkey brain liked to watch numbers become bigger. Therefore I decided to quickly invest all of my hard-earned cash into Beeg Psycho. It felt very satisfying to see the current gold gain per minute rise.

Now, we had reached a total of 16 gold coins per minute. Indeed the number had gotten bigger and so has my penis because that was how satisfying it truly felt.

Getting a boner because of an idle game was a totally normal reaction. Watching the gold coin number rise caused my member to rise in response as well.

Classic comedy, am I right?

So I waited for more gold and began to press the button to get more gold for waiting again. Were you not entertained by this grinding session of absolute, ultimate epicness?

Look at me as I look at the Beeg Psycho as it looked at the rat sans as they looked inside his stomach. And the best part of all, the number went bigger again... I nearly came right there. Numbers made me so wet and horny.

Idle games were the peak of game design and nobody could tell me otherwise.

Literally nothing was happening, but it was the best kind of nothing. Because, and get this, a 16 turned into an 18 through me clicking some buttons. Was this not wonderful?

Damn, I was the happiest human alive, this was the most beautiful thing to ever exist. My brain could not handle the sheer joy of being a witness to the amount of gold increasing slightly faster than before.

But this was not enough, I needed to see more of them...more.

GIVE ME STIMULATION NUMBERS.

The big, hard throbbing numbers showed me a pleasure my body had never felt before. It was like pure ecstasy. Watching these numbers made me a better human...

I do think, I needed to take a small break to do some stuff... see you guys in the next chapter.