Raid-Boss Wishomoppu (10)

You thought the battle would be finished?... You thought wrong. The battle would never end unless it could not be milked anymore. The odds of this novel getting an anime adaption were slim to nonexistent, so why not add some unnecessary elements to it?

Nobody would even notice it amongst the other steaming pile of doodoo that the story already had in it. Compared to the raid-boss being a sentient demon trapped in a mop; it could hardly make any less sense.

I am not one to say it was impossible to create something less believable. In doing so, the system would without any doubt, create something even more absurd.

Not tempting fate here, I was just admitting that the whole thing was a marvel of stupidity, one not easily outdone by other such dumb ideas.

It was quite the achievement to seem less logical than a gigantic corpse of monsters that enveloped the world or the fusion of thousands of naked dudes. But here we were and this was certainly the apex of the biggest brainfart to ever have gained sentience.

Okay, to have ever gained sentience till now. You know, gotta clarify else a certain existence saw that as a challenge.

Dealing with yet another whack thing was not exactly my idea of a good time.

"Playing" the idle game, pressing buttons and waiting for things to change did not sound like it needed any more variables added to it. The Beeg psycho being commando in a magical girl outfit gave me enough trauma for a lifetime already.

This was not a joke, please System do not add any more mayhem to this story... I beg you to stay put. But, as per usual, it ain't listening to the poor main character that used to be the author of this god damn mess.

Nope, it was far more busy enjoying the situation. An unstoppable force of dead rats met an unmovable object, which happened to be a golden mop possessed by an ancient evil.

What would happen in this unexplored paradox?

Without going into metaphysics and any other highly complicated scientific fields...chaos. Chaos was about to give me content for many days to come. The fate of this entire world may be at stake, once Wishmoppu began to move again, but I would finally not be bored any longer.

Instead of watching the Beeg Psycho munching on poor rat-sans for the near future, an entertaining combat situation was ahead. So, the dude could be eating on rats for all I cared, nothing was more important than the killer show that was about to start.

Who cared about what my monster was doing?

He would still be eating regardless. As long as the world would not literally end, he'd still be sitting there and stuffing these poor creatures into his mouth. Much like he was doing now, the future him would be doing then.

Enough of the things any reader already knew about. If only the abomination could expand at a slightly faster speed. It actually might have slowed down due to one particular glutton.

Yes, that must be the reason why the abomination had slowed down. But, we have come this close what was waiting a day more?

A waste of time─exactly. Time to throw money at the problem again and skip forward until stuff was happening. In return, that hungry bastard eating speed would probably increase as well again. I only had to come close enough to the darn Mop and trigger a fight.

[5 powerstones have been deducted from your balance and 1 timeskip scroll has been added into your inventory.]

This was not my first rodeo, so I knew best how to use it.

"System, take out the timeskip scroll from my inventory and use it" Yup, you used it like that. It was so easy that I tried to activate it for several hours before I figured out how to do it.

Just kidding, that information had to be bought by the system itself. Darn capitalism.

Just yesterday, they were activated without me lifting a single finger. But, then the System found a way to extort even more powerstones out of me. Yeah, the world was truly beautiful, was it not?

Anyhow, I did not want my blood pressure to rise any higher. So, I chose to not think about it at all. It might not be the best solution... but there were no better alternatives. I would have loved to beat up that darn thing...

...yet how could one beat up something, which did not have a body in the first place?

All I could do was grin and bear it to the best of my ability. If I was lucky my body would give me a heart attack and finish this suffering.

Alas, this body of mine was immortal and as such, pretty resistant to the thing known as "death". At best, it would only ease the god damn torture for a few seconds before throwing it right back into my face.

Well, at the very least 24 hours had passed in the blink of an eye(p2w-ftw) and we were coming closer and closer to Wishmoppu.

"Mortal, you dare approach me?" the booming voice of the golden cleaning tool shook the earth and split the Heavens. I felt like a proud father seeing the wave of destruction unfolding in front of my eyes.

YES, YES, YES.

Some actual good dialogue, how much I have missed you. This right here was some good shit.

Not like all that strange rants about absolutely useless topic. No, this was what every novel should have.

Give more of it, give me more...more. I could not endure another session of idiotic chapters... GIVE ME MY ENTERTAINMENT. GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT

DADDY NEEDS HIS FIX. INJECT IT DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS. GIVE DADDY HIS DRUGS.

"Mortal, you will come to regret ever being born," the words echoed through the endless Grasslands and announced the beginning of the final battle.

And I also came and no I was not talking about arriving in front of it.

The golden mob rose from the ground as majestic as a cleaning tool could. Then, the attack everybody had been waiting for started. Spinning fast in a circle, it was time for the ultimate bombardment of filth.

Puke projectiles─an instant classic. The poor rat-sans made for an easy target and as such, they were slaughtered at an unprecedented rate.

Strangely enough, this wave of attacks was of no concern to this weird abomination. It was as if it was grown faster instead.

Mind you, there were still new rats being spawned in its midst, but it was nowhere near enough to offset the number of lives that were lost. Far from it, their death seemed to be a far greater fertilizer than their life.

I had a bad feeling about this...

Maybe the blob was a threat much greater than Wishmoppu could ever be. The rate of expansion increased more and more and I did not like that one bit.

Hurry up, Beeg Psycho I need you to eat more rats. Otherwise, the world as we knew it, might truly come to an end.

Though, why should I actually care bout that kinda stuff? I've come here to empty my brain and enjoy the show. Ain't nobody wanna think at the moment. Sit back, enjoy the show and enjoy the mindless destruction.

My inner caveman was to be amused.

And for around 3 seconds...I was happy. Until my mind began to think again, then I was sad, till I remembered to not think again and be happy. Rinse and repeat.

Oh and lest we forget...the epic battle of epicness had finally started. I would enjoy this even if it was the last thing I would be doing.

Since, ya know, I could not do anything else, except for pressing buttons.

It surely could not be as boring and uneventful as pressing buttons, right? Riiiiight?

Spoiler from future me, that right there was a flag...