Epilogue of Volume 1: Transport quest of Billy the Kid Part 2

You might not believe me saying this, but Billy and I were still searching for his Mom. Even after spending the entire last chapter doing the same exact thing. Considering the casting for the Mom role was still currently pending...it would be quite a while till we found her anyways.

Qualified personnel was hard to come by and paying with 5 stones with the word power on it did not seem to motivate anyone either.

I found it hard to believe, who in the right mind would not want to gain publicity for starring in this masterpiece of literature?

Come on, it was easy money. All you gotta do was take care of Billy the Kid here and act lovey-dovey with him. Pretty darn easy compared to the lengths I had to go in order just to earn one measly stone.

This lowly author here was honoured to write 3 chapters about transporting Billy─"honoured" in this case meant forced at gunpoint. Of course, I was merely joking and forced to produce this entire bit here...

...help me...

Anyways, where did we leave off? Ah, we did nothing and now we would be doing more of the same nothing. Therefore, let us start with a little recap of the many events, which took place since the Transport quest of Billy the Kid had begun.

We walked a few steps and thus we arrived at the present situation. Never claimed it would be a long flashback. Due to the unfortunate budget costs the aliens we hired could not come and probe us.

I had this whole thing planned out, where they came here with a cow and stuff. Then, they'd pull out that big fat beam and suck us up where they would run all sorts of experiments

Yet no money, no aliens and no special effects.

I had been looking forward to this scene since the very first chapter, like a small child I could not wait for people to see this situation develop. Fun's gone now, thanks system.

Instead of walking on, telling people the top 10 funny sounding words, there would have been pure entertainment. Btw first place 1 was the word Kerfuffle, which was another word for chaos. Now, you could not even complain about not learning anything from this entire situation.

Ain't that pretty thoughtful?

Speaking of learning, did you guys know that one of you guys finally got the memo and dropped the Me Myself and I story from their collection? Why did you come to expect chapters from that novel in the first place?

The whole premise of this book was trapping an author in the stories he has dropped. Lemme repeat that again, trapping the author in the books he has dropped. Whaddaya think was up with any story mentioned in here...

A little hint it got nothing to do with the quality of the writing.

This was my proudest moment as a father of 81 readers. They had finally grown up and proved themselves. This was the moment; they finally used the god damn toilet instead of shitting on the floor like the others readers of this site.

You have done the impossible my younglings, you have made Daddy proud. In the end, you finally have taken the first few steps toward being a normal member of society. Pat yourself on the back, because you did well.

Here we thought that this novel would not be teaching any valuable lessons about life to its readerbase.

You'd be surprised what morals lurk behind all the madness. I would tell you later on when I found out exactly where those were hiding. Just because the author themselves could not find any did not imply that they did not exist, okay?

Much like the Mom it only took quite a bit of time to actually find them.

People said that life was not about your goals or the destination but about the journey itself. An idiom, which seemed really fitting considering that nothing was happening on this trip and in this story all together.

Or could one really look me in the eyes and tell me what exactly they had read about? In the 80 chapters so far many things took place, but none of those made any sense.

Even by turning off your brain─a practice, many readers were proficient in─this issue could not be solved. My story was my baby, but it was not a smart baby. To put it nicely, my kid was just a middle-aged man licking a lollypop pretending to be a kid...

...dear God. my baby was Billy the Kid.

Dang, my own darn kid turned out to be such a bastard. Could it not have at least put on a darn t-shirt to cover up that fat upper body of his? I swear, was none of my kids normal in any shape or capacity?

On second thought, that question better remained unanswered. Cuz even Billy the Kid almost had 100k words in his stomach. It was hard to digest that much content, with so little time. No wonder, he became so bloated with the passage of time.

Look, even now the big belly was growing in size as I was describing it. Who knows, maybe a thousand words more and he would explode in a colourful explosion of meaty bits.

By now, the dear Mom should arrive and embrace her dear Son.

Hurry up! We did not have much time to waste before the inside of the stomach would come to the outside. Trust me on that, nobody wanted to see that happening.

Okay, some, including me, definitely wanted to see Billy the Kid turn into a flesh-based Pinata. But sadly, that was illegal. Since the story was 2 months old, it broke the rules to inflict harm on it. Billy needed to be 18 years at least before it could go "boom".

Therefore, for a few seconds just imagine the scene playing out in your mind, while I advocate that no harem fell on any person in this story.

Yes, Billy the Kid was fine and did not pop like an inflated balloon.

Hurray, everything remained as family-friendly as it always had been. A round of applause for the imaginary inflicted harm because we could not get rid of our stress in any other way.

Bear the feeling of anger with me, my readers, soon we would have passed the 100k words and everything would come to an end. Yes, our suffering was soon to be over.

Praise be and forevermore shalt no other story ruin our life─for we art the Chosen Children.

We might not be any closer to finding the Mom, but we, we got a title. Were we not pretty snowflakes? You and I, my homies, were the prettiest freaking snowflakes to ever grace this Earth.

Global Warming could do nothing to us. That's how cool we were.

Aint that pretty hot? The whole globe do be burning, but we chill. Yeah, that's how flipping awesome our crew was.

You gotta look at the facts, it even says in this study I just made up. "Readers of System for Dummies prove 100% more cool and chill than the average reader of WN. They also possess a much bigger brain than their pears."

Couldn't argue against science, now could you? Ma guy, I was just speaking facts.

The data clearly pointed out that everyone here were Giga Chads. There was no other logical explanation other than this.

This was not a hot take; you guys were cool and I did not say this to increase the word count...okay I might be saying this to increase the word count. For real though, thank you for reading this story despite nothing ever happening.

I really appreciate each and every single one of you 3 people that read 3 minutes a day.

See you guys, in the next chapter of transporting Billy the Kid to his Mom!