Epilogue of Volume 1: Transport quest of Billy the Kid

Well, here the entire cast of this novel thought we would finally be able to catch a break and rest until our dear Author would finally resume this story only to realize, we did not fulfil the last request sent to us by James...whoops.

We had that awesome ending that, at the time of writing, was still not finished and yet we still came back to tell more random stuff to appease the only soul that left comments and requests.

So, sit back around the metaphorical campfire and listen to this tale of the middle-aged man dressed up as a small kid.

On a certain day, which might have been today or yesterday a wee little lad came to me licking a small lollypop. To no one's surprise, the "little" kid was a middle-aged man running around without a shirt.

The old fella was either very, very fat or very, very pregnant. Judging by the size of his protruding belly, my guess was on it being triplets. To make the image in your mind even worse, it was also quite hairy.

Imagine Big-Foot, yes that level of hairy.

Having ruined your day, now, let me continue to depict what transpired next. Either way, shirtless middle-aged men walked on their knees to make the illusion of the small kid act perfect. The whole act was as believable as the Easter bunny laying his eggs in Misses Clauss...if you know what I was saying.

For those that did not get it, they were having an affair.

The "kid" called himself "Billy the kid". Yes, there was no punchline to it; it simply hurt mentioning that kind of bad play on words. You know, this audience has a western audience and Billy the Kid is from the "Wild West".

These kinds of jokes always were the funniest, when one had to explain them. Instantly made them a thousand times more enjoyable. Yup, some of you might have noticed that the story might have lost its flavour...if you want to have it back; hand over your powerstones.

Currently, I was doing this for free.

Excuse me, for the grand total of 1 powerstone. Which caused me to be highly motivated to do everything other than writing the expected 3 chapters about transporting this specimen back to his Mom.

Should one still expect an epic plotline with twists and turns after reading through nearly 80 chapters of this nonsense, then you could not be saved.

So Billy and I went on a long journey to defeat the Demon King, sorry I meant to find his "Mother"

Many things happened, such as that Billy decided to lick the Lollipop seductively while giving me a knowing glance. Which was wrong on so many levels; it must have reached the Marianna Trench.

Enjoy the fanservice you shotacons out there. I, for one, shall visit the closest therapist and talk about this disturbing image, which lived rent-free in my head for the foreseeable future.

Well, as we were walking ever so slowly as people usually did when they had to cover a large distance, we noticed a certain thing. This certain thing was the impending doom that was death, which would claim our souls in the future.

Here, came existential dread outta nowhere.

The obvious jokes were obvious. We just noticed that literally, nothing was happening. And why should something happen? The entire cast but me were currently on holiday and had taken their hard-earned vacation.

So, as per usual, I was just making stuff up and acted like it was the most surprising event of all time. Who could have seen it coming that we would be walking to our unknown destination? What a serious, unpredictable plan!!

The two exclamation marks made it really obvious just how serious the entire bit was.

To underline the sheer importance of transporting Billy the Kid to whatever his "Mom" was, I also added another sentence about how important that event truly was. Could you not feel the epicness of this adventure into the Unknown?

Yes, this was something everything needed to read because the reader gave a powerstone.

Of course, as a parody, it also needed to make fun of about a random aspect, which everybody really cared about.

Here is your brain on my story: No brain activity.

Your brain on Harem stories: Neuron activated.

Thanks for coming to this grand commentary about the state of writing on this site and the consequences bad storytelling had on our youth. Instead of beating themselves up over sad literature, they were literally beating their meat. Mission successful.

And yes, for everyone emotionally invested in us making our way to the uterus that produced Billy, we were still walking.

What an interesting concept, which had never been done before. No, this one would not be a walk in the park nor would it be a walking disaster. If there were any more puns about this matter... just pretend I just made them and laugh with me at this wonderful display of writing skills.

Haha.

Enough of the funsies we were here to pad the word count not entertain the readers, who in the right mind would do that? Only fools and people not knowing the value of mindlessly repeating basic descriptions were dumb enough to do such a thing.

And, clearly, as connoisseurs of sheer stupidity, we should do our utmost to make money outta this literal piece of garbage and milk it like the golden goose it was. Our cash cow needed to lay the golden eggs, after all.

If anyone did not see this as being intentional, please do the world a favour and don't have kids. Everyone thanks you for your noble sacrifice. For your act of selflessness, have this body pillow.

But, what was this? Was this the plot twist that anyone had been waiting for? But could it even be called that, if everyone knew about it coming in the first place?

We might never know because this was not a plot twist at all. This was the announcement about the chapter coming to an end soon. Clearly, the oh-so-clever author needed to save the actual content of this chapter for the next chapter.

Yes, this big brain strategy was totally planned for and not stuff I made up a second ago to add more words to this story.

Who could have predicted that kind of nonexistential plot twist being the twist all along?

Yes, inject all that nonsense in your veins and feast upon the total lack of content everybody was craving. Yup, gotta give the peeps what they ever wanted.

Me got no money, they got no kewl story, bro.

Yes, bruh why would I give one-two shits bout the multitude of readers that called this quits? Aint you seen, that's how it's always been. You kid, but I got Billy the Kid, he's also a brit.

This rhyme does not rhyme─war crime.

Yes, the word count goes higher and this chapter ends now...

...on fire.

But, then our Honcho saw the big word count was no more. The dude did not use his brain, since then lived in Spain. The S was silent, so there was only pain. This story lacked fame; the lack of powerstones was clearly to blame.

Spain was a lie, he lived on Planet Earth that was his home turf. That too was a lie, secretly he was a die. That was a joke, he was a bloke and broke and not at all a secret code, or eating a chode.

Why did I rhyme again? No idea, but here have a hen. Why would I need a chicken now? No idea, but your wife I plough. That joke was lame, and you got no one but me to blame; what a shame.

To add something to the chapter now, have a little poem I wrote...wait lemme load.

I am sorry, but trying to flex with your verbal poise, it feels like you are just trying to produce some noise. A poem is ought to tell a story and tell of a tale. But you treat others as if there is no avail. Other perspectives and other views are of worth. Remember they walk the same soil, the same earth. Calling down, calling others a child just to belittle. In the end, it is just you playing the second fiddle. I am not here to spread fire nor do I care about drawing your ire. I am just here to remind you, that normal conduct, is a different shoe.

Yes, this poem I wrote 2 years ago totally relates deeply to Billy the Kid─totally. Why, at this point, were we even trying? Oh yes, the story needs 100k words. So have some more and buy some merch.

Next chapter nothing'd happen again and we would all die like Uncle Ben.