New beginnigs, same old trouble

It was a brand new day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the company instructed to move the gigantic pile of characters was working on shovelling them into a mass grave.

These men and women armed with a shovel were Wishmoppu's minions. Passionately they removed any traces of the slaughter from the surface of this planet. Any incriminating evidence had to be removed because nobody should ever have to experience it again.

The "U_PAY-WeDIG" company was known to be highly secretive. Mainly due to the fact that their boss killed every single one, who could not keep their mouth shut.

However, this did not imply that not a lot of hush money needed to be paid for their services.

From your local manslaughter to your mass murder of exactly 4549 characters─everything was spotlessly cleaned and taken care of. Provided, of course, one was willing to fork out enough cash. Otherwise, good luck with your massacre.

Not that our main character was very concerned about the fate of his creation. For you, see he was not aware that the story had not ended. Even at this moment, the author refused to listen to the narrator.

Pressing his hands onto the ears and saying "LALALALA, I don't hear you", was not a good strategy to face reality. Alas, a certain someone refused to act as a proper author should...

Had he not realized yet, realized he was missing out on earning money?

"Money?" said the suddenly very enthusiastic writer. Yes, the greatest motivator of all, except for teenager's urge to beat a certain snake, had struck again.

Against all odds, a story with no real story in it, had qualified for a contract here on WN. Even the omniscient narrator did not know how such a thing could have happened in the first place. But, the quest to find logic in this novel would remain impossible.

"Contract?" spoke the person, who had clearly forgotten how to form proper sentences. Indeed, a contract has been given to you by the Gods of WN that have deemed your work a worthy vessel for the entertainment of the masses.

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We do apologize, there had been a slight error in the previous sentence. It should have been "for the entertainment of the paying masses". Now, buy this story some gifts to save this poor author from starving and to make us even richer.

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From the heavens came a golden parchment and landed right in front of the greedy author. But, clearly, our author would keep this story free and not give in to the capitalistic WN-Overlords. After all, he was a man of integrity, pride and self-respect....and he just signed the contract.

Driven by his endless desire to hoard more treasures, he did not know that he had struck a deal with the devil.

A devil in the form of a busty lawyer armed with a ruler. Despite popular belief, she was not fetish fuel; her duty was to "motivate" the untrustworthy author to bring more content to the readers. Using her ruler anyone was soon convinced to give in to the calling of filling the word count.

Her new client, our dearest author, was entirely unaware of his "great" luck. Blinded by the prospect of making money, he remained blissfully unaware that the contract had transformed into the incarnation of evil.

It became Karen, the lawyer─destroyer of fun and creativity.

She was the Queen of "fan service, the first lady of mediocre writing quality and the bringer of cringy smut scenes. She was not a Karen; she was THE Karen.

To elaborate on the "fan service"─ she was beating the authors up, that was her service to the fans. Something, which a certain writer learned the hard way. Hard, in this case, referred to two things and the narrator refused to describe, which part of the masochistic MC was insinuated.

Of course, it had been the hard task to think of a new plot, silly. His penis had already been erect when he started thinking about all the money he would get.

Coming up with a new volume, full of fresh, new ideas proved itself to be harder than initially expected. Especially, since initial expectations did not involve the systematic murder of the entire characters.

But Karen's ruler and her whip showed no mercy. They required a solution and that very, very fast. Money needed to be made and brain cells had to be killed.

"I am doing this for you, my fans!" the author thought to himself as a slight moan escaped his lips.

Our hero clearly had his audience as his number 1 priority at this very moment. Anyone who claimed elsewise, should please consider. The author did not like it, when people saw through his acts.

In order to give his readers the best story, he took as much time as possible and endured the many stimulating attacks by his new favourite mistress Karen. Yes, he truly was very selfless and was totally not enjoying this kind of rough treatment.

The following comments were mere hearsay and were never used by our author.

"Mommy", "Harder, Mommy", "Please punish me, uwu" "ooooh, Mommy, I have been a bad, bad,bad, bad boi, please lecture me", "Mommy, hit me with that copyright-strike", Mommy, give me that R-18 tag."

Consequently, the punishment for the unruly author was resumed and no progress was made. As evident by the stubborn author, it would take ages till the plot had been plotted. As of now there merely was "Plot" to make readers forget about the lack of actual story-telling.

As of now, there had been nothing more than a horny author and a personified contract offer, which happily beat up the author for not writing the expected content.

The narrator had come to realize that he would have to narrate the current developments for quite a while until the author would finally remember his duty as the main character and tell that darn story of his.

While the protagonist was busy living out his sexual fantasies and producing very questionable sounds, nothing of interest happened in the surroundings.

Bodily remains were still taken care of and transported to the nearest mass grave. Some might call a situation such as this highly questionable, which the narrator refused to comment on. He was paid to narrate, not to think!

In case of doubt, all sort of blame was to be directed at the author, But it is advised not to publically humiliate him either, since the person in question seemed to enjoy his punishment. Being spanked appeared to be more of a gift, judging by the expression of pure bliss on his face.....

While the narrator could not condone, the fact that our author was having the time of his life surrounded by dead people; he also had to admit that the story was now much more appealing to the WN audience.

Karen had done it again.

What an arousing story, for all sorts of readers. Everyone would look at this author receiving this sort of "love treatment" and not mind the steamy scene.

What were lovely support characters, when one could get their willy wet?

Yes, that was true fan support. All hail the verbal war crime committed in the name of dubious wish-fulfilment. The narrator wishes everyone, who actually cranked one out with these descriptions to reconsider their life choices.

Furthermore, the narrator would also like to remind you, dear reader, that nothing good would ever happen to our favourite Virgin.

Indeed, our Supreme Ruler of Virgin Kind had fallen asleep upon signing a contract and was now having a wet dream.

The busty lawyer Karen did, much to everyone's disappointment, not exist. In the first place, it was unrealistic to assume that an author, who had not felt the touch of a woman ever since he crawled out of his mother's vaginal cavity, could ever write a realistic female character.

Do forget about your explicit content and embrace the explicit, harsh reality. Welcome to another volume of absolutely nothing you would come to expect.

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"My dear 102 collections, thank you from the bottom of my heart for clicking one button! If you now come to expect me to hold a big speech, then you are sorely mistaken. It is all to you guy's support that I have to write more chapters and somehow "revive" this dead story"

"Really, thank you so, so, so much that I have to create more content out of this "lovely" writing. I could not think of anything more fun to do. I felt as much joy as a fish on land. Truly there was nothing more beautiful on this Earth!!!"

"In the end, I sure hope you will continue to read this absolute masterpiece. I will not be the only one to suffer with this much fun."

"Happy Reading and welcome to the new, final volume"

{This automated voice message was left by a disgruntled Author and will destroy itself in 4...3..2..1]