Classic Literature and keeping Michael at Bay. Yes, that means explosions.

A loud explosion tore through the vicinity and tore me out of the best dream I had ever had. Judging by the decapitated head that had been blown right in front of me someone must have either eaten spicy Mexican food or strapped a bomb vest around themselves to express their faith.

Regardless of what Terry the Terrorist did, either result proved to be rather explosive in nature.

Nonetheless, a new friend had arrived in my life. I always had wanted to talk to a decapitated head ever since I saw Mr Bones standing in our biology class. Others may have called it Skelly the Skeleton, but it clearly had the sophisticated aura of a Mr Bones to me.

They clearly just saw the skeleton as the brain's pilot seat to operate the meat mecha. I knew better though; it was a hive mind from bones that had formed an organism.

....seriously, it's just a skeleton. Not everything needed a complicated backstory.

Anyhow, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I currently felt rather lonely. Ever since everyone was currently busy doing afterlife stuff, a gaping hole had appeared in the story. I needed a sidekick.

And, who else could fill this void other than the skull that had mysteriously appeared in front of me? His sudden appearance in my life gave off some strong "Rick" vibes to me.

The name was perfect as people called Rick always tend to be linked to many unsuspecting people.

You must know, Rick was not just anybody. Okay, he did not have any body, but he was my friend. I might not have remembered him when he did not have attachment issues, yet right now he was my most precious companion.

The eyes, full of terror, were clearly just the shock from meeting their best friend after such a long time.

I gave him a little push and my BFF moved funnily across the Endless Grasslands. He was such a tease; imagine getting rick-rolled like that. I sprinted after him and lifted him up and looked him deep in his dead eyes─cuz that is what Homies do.

"Yo, Rick you got me good there" said the author switching to the third person narration to tell the readers about the awesome reference to Hamlet he just made.

Alas, people's affinity with classic literature was nonexistent. The only "culture" these people had was either a self-given label in regards to their tastes in porn or the fungus growing on their shower wall.

Tears of loneliness and warm water made for excellent fertiliser, after all.

The switch to first pov came quick, as I could not bear to stay away from my best buddy for such a long time. Endless troubles might be ahead, but Rick was and would always be levelheaded.

May headhunters and headmasters seek to kill us. Our dream team would never be heading straight into damnation. No, we would see eye-to-eye and go against the world.

"Let's do this Rick."

But Rick did not reply, because Rick was a skull. And skulls usually did not reply.

You must understand, my friend was simply shy and it took a lot of time for him to open up to others. Given the average rate of decomposition that could take up to several years! He had always been like that─ to his very end conscious of others.

Maybe, that was why Rick had reduced himself to the absolute minimum. Even after being brutally murdered, his biodegradable body served as nourishment for Mother nature....truly a role model in life and much more in death.

Whatever the future may hold my mate would not leave my side, because I would hold onto him.

Don't judge me. If you were single for as long as I had been, you too would carry your own Rick with you wherever you went. Sometimes, in life one needed a bit of company. Crippling solitude turned me into an author; so gimme a break.

For once, I deserved to be happy as well. Nobody could tell me to not go on an adventure tour together with a decapitated head I had befriended 5 minutes ago. No one!

Solely fate itself knew what awaited the 100% and 8.26% men on their journey into the unknown.

Neither of us 2 minded the fact that traversing the Endless Grasslands was physically impossible. Because one was deader than a door knob and the other was insane─I would not say who was what though.

We had each other and that was enough.

Time passed swiftly and our dynamic duo was having the time of their life. We were playing hide-and-seek. Despite giving Rick a headstart, I never failed to find him. Everything felt so perfect.

Soon, however, our friendship fell on hard times. Rick, all of a sudden, gave me the silent treatment and did not speak a single word with me anymore. Any attempt to fix the issue was met with more silence from his side.

I began to question myself; wondering what went on in that head of his. What had I done for him to hate me? Yet, there was no answer to that question because Rick was a skull and skulls seldom spoke about their problems.

The messy break-up with crazy ex of his must be the reason. He and that spine bitch had been together for decades before their sudden separation. Just one explosion and she left him...

It all was connected; was it any wonder the trouble had gone right to his head?

Rick was still affected by the burden of his past. These types of wounds could not even be mended by time. No, this mid-afterlife crisis was something, which could be solved. All one could do was face it and learn to embrace it.

He did the face part, whereas I did the hugging part─cuz that is what psychopaths do.

I had to lend him a shoulder to cry on and gladly did so. His other shoulder was dead to him. it was evident that their long-distance relationship did not work out all too well.

I was helping him to the best of my ability, as he did when I was feeling lonely. When I was sad and angry with the world he gave me head--butts. Since everything else would be morally wrong and would definitely put you on a watch list!

We were friends with benefits, but not that kind of benefit.

...

I have been walking for hours now and have come to realize that things could not go on like this any longer. This poor man's Hamlet cosplay was not the answer on how to proceed with the stories. Rick could not replace all the characters that had mysteriously died.

Rick was special to me, and yet not special to the story itself. Rick was Rick, but nothing more than that. He was like a brother to me, my one and only family in this world. However, we should not see each other any longer.

To be fair, Rick had never seen in me what I had seen in him. Which might be caused by this weird affliction called death, still I was not sure.

However, one thing was more than certain; carrying a disembodied cranium of a freshly deceased support character in my arms made me look like a weirdo.

I was the star of this show and Rick was here to make me shine!

He could find eternal rest once there were no more puns that could be made about heads. Because, as any reader might know, puns were the metric that defined the inherent value of any story. Yep, this chapter was a 10/10 on the pun-based scala of quality writing.

Did you not see all the potential this novel now had?

It could have Rick Rolls, Rick n' Roll, Dwayne the Rick, Rick in a pickle, King Rickhard the First, Rick as a bowling ball, Rick in a ricked adventure... the list was nearly endless.

And clearly, any character that took any bit of attention away from me needed to go. One could not steal my spotlight and expect to live more than a chapter.

Okay, he did not "live" to begin with. But, the story should never become as dead as he was. You guys could not expect me to tell a heartfelt story, all the while I held a decomposing head.

I absolutely refuse to bow my head to others.

Wait a darn minute. I have got an idea....