After life?

[What on earth is happening? Is this a dream or… reality?]

[No…wait! I-I... I think I died already? So, what exactly is this?]

Even though she was currently experiencing great turmoil in her mind, none of it showed on Xu Jiao's face, the expression on it being one of deep calm.

[If this is not real and not a dream too… could it be that I'm facing the legendary after-death experience? Since I'm dead, what's happening right now… is it my life playing out before my eyes?]

After reaching this conclusion, she felt herself calming down a bit and finally managed to focus her full attention on the three people in front of her, carefully observing each and every one of their movements, her demeanor eerily resembling a scientist observing specimens under his microscope.

[How fascinating? It feels so real] She thought, her heart giving birth to a feeling of awe mixed with just the slightest hint of fear.

Actually, Xu Jiao had first descended into an out-and-out panic when she found herself lying on the old bed in her childhood room in her parent's old place, which, if she remembered correctly, was demolished more than five years ago. She had been under the influence of a pain-filled daze up until waking up -probably to be credited to her death-, and finding herself facing such an unexplainable situation, it was a miracle that she hadn't lost her mind then and there, given her usual cowardly disposition.

"SLAP" The impact of the slap that landed on her face nearly threw her to the wall, rudely waking her up from her quiet contemplations. Her ears ringing, Xu Jiao stabilized her bearings by holding the wall, tears of pain filling her eyes. It hadn't helped that she was already in quite a bit of pain since finding herself waking up in that old room.

"You damned brat! What's with that? Is that how you look at your parents?"

Seeing her staring at him with the same unnerving gaze, even though her cheeks still had traces of freshly spilled tears, the somewhat good-looking, but already middle-aged man started feeling ill at ease. This uncanny feeling prompted him to raise his hand for another strike, but the young girl suddenly covered her head and squatted down, which made his knuckles collide hard with the wall; the resulting pain was unbearable enough to force a pained shout out of his mouth.

Now, ashamed and angry, on top of the peculiar fear-like feeling he had experienced earlier, the man angrily huffed, but decided to stop his tirade after all.

"Dear, now that she's all grown up and going to campus, our words don't have as much value as a speck of dirt on her shoes." The woman who had been setting the dinner table finally spoke, contempt filling her voice. "Don't bother about her… She always had this petty character after all."

Sensing the pain has reduced quite a bit, Xu Jiao tried to get up by holding the wall as support, while momentarily glancing at the haughty woman with a rather mean look on her face. The last time she met her before her death, this woman had sported a body dripping with jewelry made of gold and precious stones, the very picture of vulgarity... but she apparently thought she looked very classy though.

[And all of it was bought using the money I earned.] Xu Jiao thought with not just a little bit of irritation while slowly making her way towards the table a few paces away.

[But, the sensations are so real… that slap too.] She contemplated quietly on this matter while eating the dinner without really tasting anything.

[Perceptions of pain, taste and even smell… they feel too real. And wasn't an after-death experience supposed to play out in a flash in front of your eyes? So, why does it look like I'm taking part in it?]

[Something is definitely wrong!] Xu Jiao gulped, a feeling of déjà vu emerging in her heart. She could vaguely remember a similar incident happening one evening many many years ago. But she could also remember that she didn't get slapped in this manner at that time. And the finger marks formed on her cheeks from it; they didn't seem to go away nor did they feel unreal.

[And, if this really is my after-life experience, why are there things that didn't happen for real? Should I make it turn on the right track? Should I tell them 'that'?]

"Mother, father…. I have something to tell you." Cold panic seemed to suffuse her whole mind, turning her numb from the sheer terror it brought forth. [What exactly is happening here?] Seeing her parents turn their attention towards her she hastily opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly, a sort of premonition-like feeling stopped her in her tracks, seemingly dousing the fear in her heart.

[What, if by any chance, this is real?] Xu Jiao could feel cold sweat gathering on her forehead, the subdued fear surging like a tidal wave within the span of a few seconds, while her body gradually turned numb.

"What is it?" Probably impatient at her dawdling, her father threw the newspaper he was holding onto the table, a frown marring his face.

"I-I"

"What is it for god's sake?" Her mother finally snapped, a hint of anger mixed with disgust coloring her voice. "Always bumbling like a fool! Can't you directly say anything? Useless!!"

"I have some money saved… from part-time jobs!" Xu Jiao nearly shouted, her tone of voice a pitch higher than normal. It's still better not to reveal 'that' right now. After all, there's still the possibility of this not being an after-death experience like she imagined but 'something else' altogether. Caution should be exercised all the time; this she knew from experience. Looking up to see her parents' surprised gazes, she visibly gulped and continued in a weak manner.

"Last year, I worked in some places near the university as a part-timer, to buy some books and stuff. I saved some money from them. So… you don't need to worry about my expenses, I can cover them if I work a few more jobs." A pause and, "Since-since you need to spend more on Hong'er, I shouldn't waste your money after all."

Seeing her father's surprised face, Xu Jiao turned her face away and gritted out the final sentence with much difficulty. "Father, mother... You are…right.."

After staring at her for a few seconds longer, her father finally picked up the newspaper thrown on the table, while her mother 'hmphed' delicately.

"As long as you are aware."

***

Xu Jiao stood in front of the small mirror hung on the wall of her old room, a hard-to-explain feeling inside her heart. Reflected in it was a young girl, whose face looked pale and haggard, her eyes red-rimmed and a little bloodshot; it was apparent that she had cried. But, this slightly less than presentable look didn't diminish her attractiveness. Instead, it seemed to give off an air of fragility to the person in the mirror.

It could have been her large, almond-shaped eyes with their pale brown irises, or it could have been her pale, yet unblemished skin. Or maybe, it was the aura of youthful naivety unique to a girl in her teenage years. One way or another, if you ignore the rather depressing look on her face, one could see that this girl gave off a quite adorable air, even though she's no stunning beauty by any means.

"And quite young too…" Xu Jiao muttered to herself in a daze, still not able to remove her eyes away from the reflection in the mirror. Touching her face, she could see that the mirror self also raised its hand to touch that tender-looking face. She used to look like that too, right? Like a blooming flower, so fresh and beautiful; no emerging shadows of crow's feet at the corners of her eyes, no blemishes on her skin that are visible when one looked in the mirror in this manner.

[There's even a pimple] Xu Jiao thought hysterically while caressing the smooth, tender, and supple skin, a slightly manic look flashing in her eyes.

And, much later into that night, she sat awake in the darkened room, determination filling her whole heart, which has made her sit up for the whole night patiently waiting for the coming of the day, while the clock ticked away to a soothing rhythm.

The whole night, her mind has been blessedly detached, observing, calculating, and weighing everything that happened before and after her death. And, by the time dawn arrived, her state of mind was abnormally calm, while she finally allowed herself to believe.

To believe that she had somehow gone back to her past, to a time when she had still been on the cusp of reaching her womanhood and barely out of her teenage years, and when everything has yet to go so horribly wrong with her whole life.

She, Xu Jiao, a 37-year-old woman has somehow or other been reborn to the time when she was only a young girl who was barely 19 years old!!

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A/N:

This is an edited chapter.