Kill Me. But Not Too Fast.

"So you're saying that he was an orphan that didn't even know where he came from? That's kinda sad, and also stupid. Isn't he immortal? Who's the idiot that wrote this story? It's like a 1997 romcom!"

Joe clicked his tongue at Maria as they entered their car and told her to let him finish his story! She knew nothing about good fiction!

She rolled her eyes and told him to go on then. Better get this over with.

...

As the lord of the town, it was common practice for people to grant him blood sacrifices every day and a human sacrifice every week in return for his protection. Nobody hid that he was a vampire! Everybody knew that the lord of the town only drank blood and that he was incapable of going out during the day. But they still worshiped him. Not because they were scared of him, but because they knew he was something greater than them.

This period was when the occult and magic were still practiced widely and the townspeople saw him as a great being filled with magic power. Their desire to worship a greater being made them subservient to him on all levels.

....

"That's also stupid! Now the author is just stroking his own ego! Can't he just say he threatened the entire town or something!? And isn't that just like the way we worship God? We call him a benevolent being and everything but we also know that if we don't do it we'll just end up in hell. It's like giving people no choice but to worship! This bastard is calling himself God!"

Maria was focused on the road and Joe put a finger to his chin as he thought about it! This woman might be onto something! How come he never thought about that while reading the book!?

Well. It doesn't matter! Let's just get back to the story!

...

Raz was lonely as one would expect from a being like him. Someone that could only stay awake at night when everyone else was already asleep and someone that would live long after everyone would already be dead. But then his life changed when he first met her.

She was supposed to be his sacrifice for that week. A young woman that looked barely older than he was. She had a full head of brown hair and eyes bluer than anything he had ever seen. Raz could only remember thinking that it looked like what the ocean would be like if it was contained in one place.

But he really didn't care about all of that. She was just another girl that would die, just like all of the others. He told her to come to him and he expected her to start crying like most of his other meals would when they realized they would die soon.

But this girl was fearless. She came to him and told him straight to his face/

"Try not to make me faint. I hate coming back over and over again,"

Raz rose a brow and he thought she was talking nonsense. He just bit her and sucked... And sucked... And sucked. Raz must've taken at least two days worth of blood from this woman before she finally started showing signs of deteriorating. Her skin slowly started to turn chalky as he expected it to and she began slacking in his hands. Raz tore his teeth out from her neck and at the last moment, he would never forget what she said.

"Wow, so that... Works?"

......

"So she died?"

"Yes... "

"Wait, yes!? What kind of stupid story is that!? Isn't someone like this supposed to wake up again and start saying cool stuff!? He made her look like a complete idiot!"

"Maria, watch the road!!"

Shit! Maria quickly got herself back in order before she caused an accident. She was just pissed! Why would this story ever be interesting!? Why would you just kill someone off after all that hype!? He should have at least made her say something cool!

Joe laughed a bit and told her to just let him continue but Maria refused because they were already at the office. They both got down and entered to see their chief waiting for them. He had that look on his face that just told them they wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

"There was another one. The opposite location from the last. Same MO. I want you two to go look into it and report back. Here's the address,"

Joe sighed as he took the paper and waved Maria over. It was a pain to do things like this but at least they would be able to continue the story!

Maria didn't like that she couldn't catch this killer yet, what kind of killer can go from one side of the city to the other and kill two people in one night!? They had to be missing something!

The two of them got into the car and began to drive off. Maria was at the wheel again and she sighed as she spoke to Joe.

"Fine, you can continue"

Joe gave her a coy smile. He wanted to tease her.

"Oh really? Weren't you just telling me that you don't want to hear about it?"

"Continue or you can just forget about it!"

"Fine! Fine! So, you see. The next time they met..."

......

Was during the Roman dynasty. This time Raz was a prince in the Roman capital. The second son of Ceaser himself with a skin condition that prevented him from entering the sun. Or at least that is what the rest of the world thought! In truth, he threatened Ceaser into allowing him to stay in the palace.

Ceaser tried to make Raz do some work for him so that he could use his power to help win the civil war, but Raz was not having any of it! I'm the one with the power here and I can kill all of you in your sleep if you even try to make me do anything for you!

Ceaser backed down and never asked Raz to do something like that again and so Raz just lived his days as the lazy prince!

He has already forgotten all about the former town that he ruled over. That was more than five hundred years ago and everyone from there was already dead. He ended up killing all of them when they began getting on his nerves with their excessive worship. The only one that knew about his power was Ceaser and Raz would keep it that way.

They met in the bath...

....

"Wait? Wait! Wait! What the fuck! He wrote about the bath!? Why would he put that there!?"

Joe rolled his eyes and Maria made a disgusted face. Please don't ever do that again. It looks so uncool for you!

"I don't think you know how Romans were. Those guys had the biggest baths and they always had a bath with at least three of four maids in it with them! Ah~ They're the real pimps if you ask me!"

Maria sighed and looked back at the road ahead before asking a question nonchalantly

"So she was a maid?"

Joe winked at her.

"Exactly"

"Please don't ever do that again either. You're too old for those kinds of things."

"Tsk. You're just jealous,"

....

Raz was in the bath that day and he was waiting patiently for his maids to come in and help him. There was already one maid there and he was having a small chat with her while waiting. It turns out that the Romans were starting to lose more and more of their empire. These guys don't know how to keep shit.

Those Christians are pushing them out of their own land and they are losing like idiots. I might have to start looking for a new benefactor sooner or later. Ceaser won't last very long against Pompey as things are going. I won't even be surprised if he's assassinated soon. He's an idiot.

"Master, your other maids are here,"

Raz looked up when he heard a soft voice and he smiled when he saw the five beautiful women standing naked in front of him. He motioned for them to come closer and they entered the baths gently. All of the women had their heads bowed, but there was one that was looking right at him.

She had the bluest eyes that Raz had ever seen in his life. He rose a brow at the daring woman and he pushed off the bath wall to swim closer to her. Who does this woman think she is?

"You, maid. How dare you look me in the eye?"

The maid sighed. Raz's eyes widened in shock! What in the world!? How dare this woman!

"Look, I just need to talk to you about something, can you tell the other maids to leave?"

Raz got angry!! He is the prince here and she has no right to talk to him like that! For the first time in his life, he jumped at someone!!

......

"Tch, so that bastard Raz really doesn't recognize her? Why?"

"Would you recognize someone you only met once thousands of years ago?"

"Don't those vampires have some kind of photographic memory? Why is he forgetting her if he has something like that?"

Joe shrugged and Maria rolled her eyes again. She was doing that a lot lately.

"He has improved intellect, but I don't think they said anything about a photographic memory though,"

"... Fair point. Alright. Go on"

"No, let's finish this first. We're already here,"

Maria and Joe came down from the car and began to walk into the restaurant where multiple police officers were gathered. They showed their badges and entered. Maria realized that this was a five-star restaurant. She once came here a long time ago with her husband. They didn't really go out much so she remembered this was a special place for her.

But now it was ruined. There's a dead body sitting at one of the tables. Great.

"Everybody get out,"

Joe gave the same order as before and the policemen filed out and allowed the two of them to do their job. Maria walked over to the table and Joe started to walk around the restaurant. He was going to see if he could find any sort of clue as to why the killer came here specifically.

Maria, meanwhile, looked at the body closely and saw that it was almost the same as the one at the former location. Pale skin and skin as dry as the fucking desert. The only difference was that the victim's hair and eyes were not blonde and blue. They were both black this time. It seems the killer was just being peckish before. He's killing without thinking again. This idiot.

For some reason, Maria wished he was only still killing blondes. At least that way they would be able to track him down better based on a narrower database.

And besides, she thought, we need less of those blonde idiots in the world.

Joe came back after a while to find Maria sitting at the seat right opposite the corpse on the same table. If not for the fact that the man was dead, it would have looked like a normal date!

"Having fun? I don't think I need to tell you, but your date is just dying to get out of here,"

That was the worst pun Maria has ever heard. She stood up and showed Joe a note that she found on the table when she was looking at the body. Joe's eyes widened! This is the first time that they ever got any sort of evidence from any of these places!

"What does it say?"

Joe asked this while taking the note and Maria answered him.

"It says 'Hey, detective'. They know we're following the trail. I don't think we can just let this continue. If they know we're following them then they'll make this into a game of cat and mouse. They're going to kill a lot more people to make it more fun. Did you find anything?"

Joe shook his head. The place was immaculately clean. Not even a single shred of a fingerprint that he could collect.

Maria sighed. This is not how she liked to spend her nights.

The two of them told the police that they could go finish up. They began walking towards the car and Maria told Joe to continue his story. She needs to get this thing off her mind.