Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"You need to pay for my medical bill."
The message would've been confusing if l didn't know Ryuu Gavril, but I did, and it was funny. So there I was, sitting in the school parking lot in my 2006 Ford Mustang, snorting in barely contained laughter like a crazy person as I waited on my sister to finish her soccer practice.
Me:
"???"
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"Your reply earlier got me a fractured jaw."
A very unladylike pfft escaped my mouth as his reply only fueled my laughter. It took me a few seconds to compose myself enough to text him back.
Me:
"That sounds like it's your fault, not mine. Maybe you should pay more attention to your surroundings? Just a tip…"
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"Look at you, being an entitled teenager running away from your responsibilities…you disappoint me, Eleanor."
Me:
"What are you, my grandpa??"
My reply sent me into another fit of laughter, thinking of Ryuu Gavril as my crazy-ass, eighty-one-year-old grandpa. I love that man to death.
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"You'd think after seeing my body you'd know better."
That made my mirth disappear in an instant as I felt the heat of a blush rising in my cheeks and warming the tips of my ears, the sensation was slowly becoming familiar over the last twenty-four hours. I swear l haven't blushed so much in all of my seventeen years of existence.
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"Plus…I'm pretty sure I'm older than you."
Me:
"Oh yeah? What month were you born?"
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"July."
I fist-pumped the air.
Me:
"Ha! I'm a May baby!"
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"Danggit!! Guess you'd be a cougar if we dated…"
Me:
"Don't worry. I'm not interested in little boys."
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"Hear that? That is the sound of my heartbreaking."
I huffed out a short laugh, rolling my eyes at his antics, just as I received another text.
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"Also, since my pride will not take that jab, might I remind you about that picture I sent last night? Yeah…I'm not little."
Cue blush multiplied by fifty.
Me:
"Fuck you, Ryuu."
Ryuu-fuckin-Gavril:
"It's a date :)"