Behind the mirror ( Lisa's P.O.V )

They are fighting again and I totally can not take it. They can not stand each other but play the perfect couple to outsiders. I was okay not being perfect back then, when I was a little girl, but they were not. How could a Hope not be perfect they would say.

I was allowed to have zero imperfections, mistakes or even opinions. I could have none of what most people had and took for granted. How I longed to be like other people, to be different, unique, to be special, to be my own person.

When people took what I could not have for granted I longed to beat them up and I did beat up a few of them. How could you see this as nothing? I am not even allowed to have this.

I was actually not as smart as people saw, not as talented, not as special. My grandfather owned the kindergarten, primary and secondary school I went to, so it was no problem to get the questions before hand. I would never participate in outside school competitions because I knew I was not good enough.

To make my classmates not suspicious and possibly like me more and I would say one of the things my mother and I would rehearse every night. I would say something along the lines of I know I would win 🏆and even make a name for myself but I want to give a chance to others, to the underprivileged, poor and struggling, those who desperately need it, and those who have worked harder than me.

I can not and will not try to act innocent. I knew it was all wrong and could have put a stop to the whole charade but I did not because I secretly loved all the attention, glamour, respect, adoration and idolization I received. Who hated being looked up to, being respected, being loved, being an idol.

The love the boys had for me, the admiration the girls had, the respect from the teachers and jealousy from others, it all made me feel strong. But no matter how strong I felt I was always reminded it was fake, why? Because of Irina Rose.

She was a thorn in my flesh. She was so smart, so original and made me feel insecure and scared. I was the fake and she the original so I tried a lot to be better than her.

She was different, unique, special and most of all did not fawn over me. She did not hide her distaste for me and it irked me. Why did she not try to be proper, respectful, prim and hide her distaste for me, that's what I did for her so why did she not have the decency to do that for me.

I would score higher than her in tests, always make sure she was second best but it just was not enough. There was a time when I felt particularly smart and registered for a competition which Irina Rose was coincidentally also participating in. I could not even make it past the preliminaries but everyone knew I registered for it so when people asked me about it I would tell them I threw in the towel because I felt bad for Irina Rose who was always second best, she had originally come second in that competition but the person who came first had coincidentally threw in the towel so everyone believed I came first and threw it in for her.

She made me feel scared even though she had no right to. I felt like she was superior to me whenever we were together and that really tormented me.

There was a time in my life that I felt I was going crazy because of her. She made me feel like I was mentally deranged as I would throw things, break bottles over her.

I originally had no anger issues but when we began to compete I developed severe ones (Author: Irina Rose never tried to compete with you it was all in your head). The sight of her would make me have a raging headache 😠 , make my head boil 😡 and make me want to curse out loud🤬 🤬 🤬. All in all, she made me feel really pissed off and angry 😤.

Since she frustrated me, I turned her friends against her which were not many to begin with, so it was not hard, made teachers hate her but it was not enough, so when I saw an opportunity to take away someone she loved I took it. He loved me first, what right did she have to take my admirer away. She was trash, TRASH, TRASH!!!!!!!

I stole him away, took away her parents' love, well, my informants told me I did, and can I say, it feels so satisfying. She's left all alone without anyone to love her or anyone to be there for her and I am so happy.

I will be the happy, great, wonderful one from now and she would be nobody. An outsider might say I am wicked since she did not do anything to me. Well, she did. She tried to steal my shine and might I say that is a big offence so I have to take revenge. There should be no Irina Rose Arsenau only Lisa Hope, she is a nobody after all.

Apart from money what else does she have. I am a thousand times better than her, a thousand times more than the woman she is. She is a nobody and I am somebody, a big and special one at that.

They are still shouting and fighting which makes me wonder how they pull off their charade. They hate the sight of one another in private but in front of people are all loved dovey. People compare themselves to them, their marriages to theirs not knowing how it all really is, that it is all a beautiful illusion.

Hmm... life is full of so much drama. Mine and their's.