First of Zeus I

I saw how Matthew's eyes turn darker when he heard what Rick called me. I don't know what to do now, he already knows my real name. I thought I can hide it forever from him because I know... I know he will never speak to me ever and that makes me more scared than losing my career.

Because I like him since the day I talk to him.

I like him since the day we started working together. I really like him

I want to explain to him so I walk towards him but he avoided my gaze and walk pass at me straight to the exit.

I face Rick with tearing and angry eyes.

"You! I already told you that don't call by my real name?" I yelled at Rick and I approach

"Why? Don't tell me he is that kid?" He really still has the gut to ask me that.

"Yes," I answered him sounding annoyed and I grab his collar.

"Ow Ow, calm down Chryss Sebastian" He tried to remove my hands from his collar but I am holding it tightly.

"Are you feeling guilty and sorry because of that man? Well, it's your fault though for not apologizing to him when you still have the chance" he stated that made me calm down a little bit.

I let go of his collar and look at my feet, remembering how I bullied him before and it made me so sick of myself.

"Are you afraid that he can kick your ass out here in this industry?"

No. I don't care about it. I want to see him and tell him everything.

I run exiting the building.

"I will try" I mutter to myself while running.

I don't care even if I look like a fool running in the street or everyone is looking at me. I really want to find him and explain.

I search everywhere in this unfamiliar city. Even if I am sweating too much and my shirt is now wet, I don't want him to turn his back on me again.

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It's evening, but I still cannot find Matthew. I don't know what to do anymore.

I thought I can hide for the best and make him notice me for who I am now.

I am already exhausted from running all time. I found a park and there is a swing here and it is too dark for me to see the other part of the park. I walk towards the swing and sit on it.

"I don't know what to do" I mutter and I cover my whole face with both of my hands because I am crying now.

I know it isn't like me but I really like Matthew and I thought the feelings are already mutual so assured myself.

"Hey" Huh? Someone is here? But the voice is familiar.

So I look at the person even if I look like a baby crying at the swing.

"Matt—"

"What are you doing here?" his voice is cold.

"I am sorry," I said almost inaudible.

"For what?" Still in his cold voice and I look at the ground because I am scared

"I am sorry for not telling you" I clutch hard at the iron that holding the swing.

He didn't respond.

"I am sorry for bullying you before" I am still looking at the ground waiting for something.

I thought he is going to punch me but he just standing still in his position. So I look up at him and saw his eyes are calm but I can't feel any ease in this situation.

I stand up and face him and we are so close to each other; I can say that he is too tall for me.

"Will you listen if I tell you something that is related to our past?" I asked him but he did not reply and is still looking at me without any emotion in his face.

"Back then I don't really have any intention to bully you" I continue.

"I know, silly of me but I do really have a reason for that" Okay, I made up my mind.

This is embarrassing but for his sake, I am going to tell him.

"Jesse" I mention his friend's name.

"What about him?" he finally talked.

"Because of him, I couldn't get your attention" even if you will hate me even more after this, or you'll laugh at how idiot I am.

"I am jealous of him. He always has your attention and you two are always together. I wanted to be your friend but I don't how to because you are always with him!"

"I can't catch your attention so I made the stupidest decision in my life and that is bullying you" I look down and I shut my eyes.

"I really don't really want to bully you but every time that I am approaching you there's always Jesse blocking my way to you so I don't what to do! I am an awkward kid before." I yelled.

"I am sorry! I do really like you but when I am ready to apologize. I heard from our elementary teacher that you transferred"

"I am very happy when I found out that you are the one who I am going to work with. But I am afraid that if you will find out I really am. You'll hate and never talk to me like now the reason why I create a screen name" I look up at him.

"Oh God, You like me since my elementary days?" He asked.

I am surprised by his reaction. I thought he will yell at me and say some harsh words but he is smiling and looked happy hearing what I have just confessed.

"Y-Yes" I stuttered and my mouth is wide open.

"So what you mean is you are only bullying me because you were jealous of Jesse?" he asked with a wide smile. Oh, the Matthew I know came back.

I just nod my head.

I saw his smile turns brighter. Gosh, I am completely in love with this guy.

"You know, I like you too—ah no! I love you" he stated and he hugs me without warning.

"Aren't you mad at me?" I asked because I can't process the whole thing in my head.

He shook his head and then pulls out of the hug but holding both of my shoulders.

"I am very happy" he stated without breaking the stare.

He hugged me again and that is when I understand everything. Matthew does have the same feelings for me.

"I- Matthew" I didn't continue what I am talking about because he suddenly kissed me.

His kiss is so gentle that I forgot our earlier conversation. He didn't use his tongue but my heart is fluttering inside my chest. I can't think anything only Matthew's lips are on me. Although I already know that Matthew likes me when I am still Zeus but I didn't think that he will like me as Chryss.

He broke the kiss and he look down at me.

"Actually I am happy that you've confessed your feelings to me first." He looks at me with a sweet smile on his lips.

I can't speak a word because I didn't expect something like this would happen so I just stare at him.

He buried my head in his chest and embraces me so tightly; I feel his heart is beating fast like mine.

"The past. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters the most is that I am holding my bully" because of what he just said I cried so loud.

"Hey why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?" he asked and he pulled off in the hug and he panics

I wipe my tears off and I look at him.

"I thought you hate me because I made your childhood a hell" I look at him.

"Did I say that?" he asked me. Did he forget?

"Yes, when we are in the practice room you said that I ruined it" I continue sobbing.

"Really? Well I am sorry, I didn't know it was you so I say something stupid but can I ask something" he asked.

"Yeah" I stop wiping my tears because it stops anyway.

"Are you really jealous of Jesse?" he asked but in a teasing manner.

"Got a problem with that?" here I am again.

"Nothing it's just funny that you were jealous of him but don't you worry he has someone who he loves dearly and that is not me" he grabs me by my hand and pulls me again into a tight hug.

"Well that's good" I hug him back.

Even though it's chilly here outside, I can't complain because I am satisfied with this warmth.