Just Kid-ding!

He woke up again.

But talk about having some sense, because he has no sense! His mind flinched! He was shocked! Shocked indeed! Zeus used a thunderbolt or some shit!

Despite passing out twice, he still remembered everything.

'Wh-What did she just say?!'

Zombie?! He got confused once more. Nay, not just simple confusion, as he got... enraged! Aye! He is frustrated!

'I'm not a human anymore? What the! She's insane! I just went being normal, but just for some hours?!'

What did he mean as normal? Aye! It was about his goal! To insert his thing to be a human! According to him in the past, what he is following might be an inhumane virtue in some ways, but nay! He will still follow his true self!

Human is intercourse, though only including the first time: This is his vision and mission; his sacred virtue! A human's inhumane way of thinking about humane is still humane! Animal! Animal he is! Nay, it is but normal... aye! So confusing!

He had finally achieved his motive to be a normal human. Yet what is the next thing that he will do from now on that he was just called a zombie?

Aye! It is none other than to continue mourning for his upcoming death!

'What do I mean about that? I'm already dead, aren't I? I'm not a human anymore! Let alone being normal! That was the only thing I wanted to be! This is already equal to being dead!'

Wah~ talk about a crying gullible dog… nay! He is not a dog, but a mere zombie!

What the! Who is a "mere" zombie again? Remember what the female voice had just said!

'Zombie… king, was it? Wait, now that I think about it, isn't this too Chuuni?'

A sudden thought shift!

Chuuni: this is what the humans called other humans that are having 8-grade syndromes. They have broken the dimensional relationships between reality and fantasy and merged them into one!

'A true fantasy indeed…'

What the! Since he acknowledged the female-voice to be Chuuni, since he too, for a slight second, believed what she said about Zombie-or-something, then is he not considered to be...Chuuni as we-

'No I'm not!'

Like who cares! Anyway, he celebrated in his mind because he now knows what is happening at this point.

Despite only hearing her voice, he still became glad and at ease.

'Yes! Thank god she's just being a Chuuni! Zombie King… this is what made me think that she really is one and that everything's just childish drama.'

He meant that no such supernatural roles could actually be possible in reality. It is even rare to find such a title inside a fantasy or an apocalyptic novel like a name for a monster boss or something, as what he had read in a novel or two. However, despite concluding it as that…

'Haha... bad! This is still bad! She isn't a Chuuni! The one I knew isn't a Chuuni! Fuck this! In the first place, their voices aren't even close to matching!'

He was not commenting about the probably-female with a female voice, but about his girlfriend. She was not into these things. In fact, she easily gets annoyed by Chuunis! Weakness! Aye! That is his girlfriend's weakness!

So who could this girl be? Who kidnapped him?! Not possible!

'Impossible!'

However, as if someone was listening to his thoughts, he started to hear some footsteps again!

Hearing it getting closer while his focus is at the bottom part of the fixed view he has...

Swoo~Sweating~Sweating~

*Boom* Thunder!

At last, the probably-female with a female voice is truly a wo-what the fuck! A kid appeared!

An unexpected revelation! Even Narrator is mentally shocked!

'What the heck! She's just a kid? Then is she really the one who put me into this shitty mess?'

Who cares about his situation! Some kid? Pfft, nonsense! Utter nonsense! How could this be?! How could such a "thing" manage to break into his girlfriend's house and kidnap him!

A cute kid with wavy black hair and red eyes is in front of his currently unmovable lying body residing on the surface of a long concrete sacrifice table.

Cute? A cute nightmare, indeed!

'But… wait, then that means she's been kidnapped as well?!'

He was talking about his girlfriend, which was the one who made him a normal person! After they have finished, she went having her post-heavenly enlightenment... in the bathroom!

Yet now she is most possibly in the devil's confinement!

'I need to save her!'

And boom! A disgraceful idiot emerged! How could he save her when he himself needs to be saved too? He cannot even move like a fish, much less run like a monkey with four limbs.

Four limbs? Nay! He cannot even be a snake that has no limbs at all! He is nothing! No such things except… what the!

*Swing* E-Event! A sudden event appeared! Bo-Boss battle!

'Oh my… GOD! WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE CARRYING?!'

A scythe! A scythe, he saw! A huge red scythe swiftly arrived at the center of his view, being pointed just a few meters away from his eyes as winds blew.

But can he even do a thing? Like, to at least parry the girl's possible future attacks with his hands? Nay! Not a single act except to fear upon a kid!

'You're kidding me! She's a kid? Then why is she lifting that huge heavy-looking scythe with one hand only? There isn't even a slight trace of her trembling!'

This is far from being a mere Chuuni! This kid is not even buffed! No muscles! Aye! In short, she is just a dainty kid! Nay! Not a dainty kid on the inside at all!

She is just thin and small. However, her strength totally defied logical reasoning! Is she hiding something?!

'What do I mean that she has secrets? No, I don't even know who this kid is! Or wait, maybe that's just a prop? That must be! Oh... fuck that! Why does it look so real then?!'

A sudden shift of thoughts... who cares! Nevertheless, the kid holding a "detailed prop" that he was talking about is currently staring at him, widely smiling.

She has no killing intent. Instead, it is but a cheerful ambiance... what the! No killing intent? Why did he claim it to be like this just from seeing her sheer appearance?

'Something's off. I feel like a thing or two changed on m-'

"Are you now fully awake, Mr. Zombie King?"

The kid finally spoke once more, leaning her head to one side, lowering the scythe she is carrying.

'And yet again, she's still with that "Zombie King" or whatever. Heh! That can't be realistically real, right? That… can't...'

He hesitated for a second when he now saw the kid bowing her head, occasionally taking firm glances at him as if he is someone who should be given utmost respect and attention. Just like… her king!

Although the kid was just scratching her knees, wondering about why they are being very itchy while occasionally taking some little glances at a person in front of her.

Just! Never mind that!

'b-be. This can't be! How could this be real?! This is just an act, right? An Oscar-worthy kid is just playing with me "house with a scythe" or some shit, right? Right?!'

He tried to convince himself… nay! He could not! He started panicking again!

Panicking? His soul is leaving his body! So why would not he!

Metaphor; Just a metaphor. But then it does not mean that he stopped trying to force his sanity to continue being sane.

'No, I'm human! I'm normal! I'm still a normal human!'

Unlike any other person, he did not focus on how his situation "generally looks". Like, he is not thinking that he might stop having consciousness since he was called a zombie or that he is now an offering to a devil or something.

Aye! Upon his overall unsafe situation, the one section that he is only concerned about is that he is not a normal human anymore! Even if it is not certain yet, he is still pondering for it to be like that!

Pondering? Nay! He is not at all, but crying!

'Ahhh! Fuck! Fuck this!'

"Mmph! Mmmfph!"

He struggled… like nothing! Not a named monkey, a fish on land, nor a tapeworm!

Nothing! Not a living thing, just to be specific. Why? Why yes! Because he is currently a stone!

A stone-head!

But what the! Never mind the jokes, because he is insane! He is still continuing to struggle! He is breaking his limits! No, not in a literal way, just… aye! He is forcing himself to break free!

"Mmfph! Mmmph!"

It seems like he is trying his best. Aye! He truly is trying his best! With the popping veins and red glowing eyes as obvious "normal details", why could he not be?!

It is as if he is forcing his hard poop to come out while in a lying position! A new form of pooping! Blast the rocket missile! Is it ballistic? No one knows!

Metaphor; Just a metaphor.

Still! Finally! After some few seconds of "ultra-meditation", a slight movement of his body was found! His arms budged a little!

"Wait! Please wait, Mr. Zombie King!"

The kid looked worried. Worrying too much indeed!

'No! If Mr. Zombie King will break out before Master arrived, Master will scold me!'

Despite him being the one who is in a berserk mode, it is the kid that is getting more insane in the mind instead!

"No! I can't hurt him! Master will be angry at me even more if I do that! But what should I do?!"

She cannot contain such horrific thoughts. Also, this is the first time the kid held a person tied up. Of course, since she is yet a young one... and that this is not normal at all.

However, it would not change the point that she is still ignorant about what she should do if ever someone is trying to break free-what the!

The kid remembered something!

'Master said that if ever he will show some signs of having red eyes, then I shall bring a cage and put him under it!'

Yes! Good job… nay! Not a good job at all! That is doom! This idiot is doomed! The boy is! But does he know about this fact? Nay, because he is not "in" sane, but insane! He is literally insane right now!

"Cage, cage, cage…"

In the middle of repeatedly saying that "dangerous" word, the girl was filled with rainbows right after she had finally known what she should do!

"A cage! I'll be back here shortly, Mr. Zombie King!"

As the kid bid farewell to him with a smile, she faced up above the ceiling, crouching as if she will… *Boom* jump! She actually jumped!

Nay. It is not just a simple jump... as she defied logic once more! She broke the record for jumping heights ten-fold! She swiftly passed through the ceiling and oddly made a very huge hole in it! Just like a start-up power boost when flying!

Where is she off to? A trip to mars? Impossible! It is not even certain yet that every rocket to the moon would not explode!

A human! Is she truly a human?!

Nay! Considering what she addressed him, is it not obvious? It is highly possible… that she is a zombie!

A zombie indeed! But then what about it? The 18-year-old "new but not new leaf" has not even thought a brain cell of that right now, because he is still in his damn berserk mode!

Regardless of that, whatever the kid is, she still looks like a young girl. A young human girl! Unlike the stereotypes of apocalyptic movies where some have dead-like skins, body cuts, or gloomy-ugly looks, hers is just the normal-looking one!

What is happening? Is she really what you call a zombie?

*Boom*

Well, speaking about her, what about asking the kid herself instead?

Nay! He cannot even utter a word!

She just came back that fast, making a mild shockwave, breaking the ground under her arrival as she made a landing position… of a hero!

A superhe- What hero? Nay! She is but a villain! Honestly, who in the world would truthfully kidnap someone if their occupation is a hero, hah? What a hypocrite they are!

And… wait, what the! Wha-What is that wide-looking thing she is carrying?! It is not even a chunk if compared to that scythe she was holding from earlier!

It is but an enormous net floating in the air that is filled with dead ani- DEAD ANIMAL BODIES!

That is it. How can Narrator even say "defied logic" once more? Nay, she is logic. She is logic herself.

This is a rather terrifying twist. Goodbye~

"Not an insult, Mr. Zombie King. But when I put a raging Master under this mountain of corpses, she can't even get out. So why would you?"

And then she threw it.

Meanwhile, the boy instantly opened his eyes as he "strangely" came back to his senses.

"Mmphh! Mphhh! @#%$&*!"