Amory’s Regret

Amory slitted his eyes open when he sensed other presences in the room. He relaxed when he saw that it was only a few maids who felt they could finally risk doing a small tidy.

He could feel how uncomfortable Yavanna was at being found in his bed. And a part of him wanted to tell the servants to leave so that she could have privacy. But another part of him was pleased that they'd been seen together.

When they finally left with a quiet order from Yavanna he shifted his arm to rest below her warm breasts. "I thought they would never leave.."

The peacefulness of his sleep was still muddling the forefront of his mind, but he felt the way she shivered slightly. He kissed her neck unhindered, "Good morning, my queen."

"Good morning, your majesty." She responded stiffly.

He smiled, "So, cold with me this morning?" He glided his hand down her delectably smooth skin, "After the way you called my name last night, I'd assumed we'd be closer now."

She flinched when he reached her upper thigh. His gaze darkened and he sat up. "You're hurt."

She scoffed and rolled to lay on her back—he didn't miss the wince she made at the movement—pulling the blanket up to cover her chest. "After what you did to me, of course I am." She muttered.

His brow creased. His mind returned to her small voiced telling him to stop. His heart twisted. He wanted to tear his skin. Why hadn't he listened? Why hadn't he just stopped? How could he not have seen her pain? He wanted to run. No wonder she loathed him. He was a monster.

"Let me see." He said after a moment of silence. Although, he wasn't sure he was strong enough to see what damage he'd done.

Resistance built up in her eyes and before he could blink, her small chin was stuck out, "No. I can heal myself."

He tilted his head, "You can?" A tentative amount of weight lifted from his shoulders and he felt his lungs clear.

She nodded, "Yes, it doesn't always work, and it usually doesn't last forever. But—" Her voice cut off and he saw her chest heave beneath the heavy blanket. Her eyes glowed beneath her closed lids and her hands glowed where they rested on her chest.

His stomach churned in discomfort. There was something about when she used magic; he didn't like it. It felt unnatural.

In the next second her eyes fluttered open and his heart stopped at her eyes. The glowing irises framed by her long lashes had him spellbound, and when the glow faded, she still held him.

He became aware of her heart speeding up and her breath staggering. With his focus still on her wide, shining eyes, he stroked away a strand of her tangled hair. She raised her head to look at him fully and he moved his hand to the back of her neck.

His fingers intertwined with the wispy hairs at the base of her head. Alertness flared in her eyes and she placed her hands flat on his chest. He couldn't deny the way his body relished her warm touch.

"Amory. We—I have to get ready for the court."

"Damn." He didn't have a chance to point out her use of his name. He got up and walked to his wardrobe. A bath would have to wait until later. He began to dress himself and when he glanced out of the corner of his eyes and saw that Yavanna was still sitting there, he asked, "Are you going to get dressed?"

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. He hadn't realized that she was so fragile. He had just assumed she'd be able to handle it. Why would he have assumed that? She was soft and bruised easily. She was a frail thing and now she would never trust him like that again.

"Why don't you have Tobias help you?" Her small voice asked.

He grunted, "I can dress myself easily enough."

He heard her scoff and he glanced at her again. She was sitting up now, the white sheets pulled up to her chest in place of the quilt. They pooled around her in a way that reminded him of snow blanketing the hillsides.

"I've made the same argument many times before and you've never heeded my words."

His lips twitched, "No? Maybe it's because you're a frail thing and I'm worried my enchantress will break."

He could sense her anger from where he stood, "I am not frail. I'm simply a woman and that means that there are some things I'm not capable of. But that does not mean that I can't do anything."

She rose from the bed and he turned to look at her. He was relieved when he could see no trace of a wince in her eyes. "You're a man. A cursed man. And therefore you are stronger than me, physically, but I'm stronger in other ways."

He didn't suppress his smile, "I've no doubt."

She narrowed her eyes but said nothing. His eyes began to trail down the silhouette of her body hidden by the sheet before he darted them away. He couldn't do that to her again. An image of her looking at him with pain streaked eyes entered his eyes and he released a broken breath.

A monster. A cursed man.

"Why the sudden urge to consummate our marriage?" He asked as he buttoned his coat.

She was silent as she walked to her wardrobe beside his. She awkwardly opened the door while trying to hold the sheet up. Her cheeks were flushed slightly and he was sure that if he could see her ears, they would be a rosy red.

"It just…seemed better than lying," She murmured and his brow drew together.

"Lying about what?"

"You said I couldn't wear my veil anymore. I d-didn't want to lie and we've been married three months anyways."

Amory couldn't deny that he felt injured at the fact that it wasn't because she wanted him the same way he wanted her. A small hope sparked in him that maybe she did but wanted to conceal it.

He sighed and resumed preparing himself for court. As soon as they were finished he would gather a small band and free his people. His mind darkened when he recalled what he'd seen the previous night. They were deep in the caves and it would take effort to get them out.

He thought momentarily of calling Velio back from the front lines. He was gathering quite a following there and it would be best if Amory pulled him back before there were whispers of a rivalry within the royal family.