The Great Candied Adventure, Part 6: The First Explorer

Chapter 6: The First Explorer

Sunny Day

The skies were still filled with clouds as the Sunny Day sailed with weak winds at their back. The sun was setting, but they couldn't embrace in its beauty with all the clouds blocking it. "I guess we aren't lighting the marshmallow anytime soon…" Aurora figured.

"It's probably not a good idea to do it early, anyway." Haylee said. "They're always the freshest from the oven."

Mason looked at Sheila, who was happily relaxed on the keel as usual. He approached her with a worried look. "Sheila… why aren't we letting the other Kids Next Door eat the cake, too?"

"I just told you, Mate: we're pirates. We ain't no affiliations with anyone. And we certainly ain't lettin' them lazy blokes 'ave it after we busted our necks."

"But we're… basically going back to Kids Next Door after this. It's just for the…"

"You're living in the then and later, Mate. This is the now. And now… we're wanted swabbies who grew tired of playin' by everyone's rules… and chose to live life on the sea."

That was the cover they were using… but to Sheila, it was true. Mason knew that. This is what she always wanted, and it seemed like she didn't want to go back to KND. And if she doesn't… Mason didn't know if he would follow.

"I guess we don't have any news on the Sugary Wonders." Haruka assumed.

"Well, I remember my mom talking about one of them." Haylee said. "Mount Chocobo, where Henrietta took that bunny to be dipped in the chocolate. Back when she was still Heinrich, of course."

"Oh yeah!" Artie perked. "Wasn't that jungle connected to Gallagher's playground? We'll just sail home and find it easy!"

"Better eat a snack, first." Harry remarked.

"That's not exactly how it worked." Haylee informed. "Mt. Chocobo actually exists on an island that's constantly moving. It collided with Virginia's shore and its jungle spread to the playground. But when it's ready to move again, the volcano's altar crumbles to destroy anyone remaining. But it gets reformed from the cooling chocolate."

"Kinda like a normal volcano, but much faster since it's chocolate." Artie commented.

"But is the Sugary Wonder the volcano itself?" Aurora asked.

"That… would be way too much chocolate. I'm not sure what the Wonder is." Haylee said.

"It's the bunny, of course."

"Huh?" They raised a brow at Harry.

"Well, yeah. I mean, magical bunny that can repair things and heal people in the blink of an eye? Why else was Heinie after it."

"That… actually makes sense!" Aurora beamed.

"But we STILL have no idea where the island is." Haruka reminded. "It could be on the coast of Europe, and by the time we get there, it'll be at Australia, and then Sugar Deserts!"

"I guess the only way to find it would be to just sail aimlessly."

"Yeah, but that just works both ways. We'll draw farther from it as a result." Haylee replied.

"Doesn't it leave any indications?" Mason asked.

"Well, the sea around it is always swallowed by chocolate from the volcano. But the range is still fairly short compared to the whole ocean. It'll take us forever to find it."

"Then our best choice is to just hunt the other Wonders and hope we stumble upon it." Chris figured.

"Not like we aren't having trouble with the others…" Aurora said doubtfully.

"At any rate," Chris continued, "we need more food, 'cause we can't survive off candy forever. Wanna fish with me, Kir?"

Okay! I wanna catch little fishies for my tank! I'll gain their love and respect, and THEN cook them to be food for my tummy!

"You enjoy that, Kir." Chris smiled as they went to get their fishing rods.

Gallagher Elementary, 1st grade homeroom; 3 days earlier

"Hurry up, Sammy! We promised the kids we would take them to the Candy Museum!"

"I'll be there in a moment, Jessica! I still need to feed Mr. Fluffleupagus!"

The foreign man grabbed a carrot and dropped it in the fluffy white bunny's cage. "Sammy- HAAAH!"

"Uck! For goodness sake, Jessica, I know I'm taking a while, but SCREAMING isn't going to make me move faster!"

"Aye, but it would've saved ye the trouble."

"Perhaps, but- Hm?… Ho!!" When Sammy turned, his stomach was immediately pierced by Black John's fingers. He couldn't speak before he fell over unconscious. With that, John stepped over his body and grinned maliciously at the terrified bunny. Mr. Fluffleupagus quivered as the pirate reached in to take him.

Sunny Day; present time

An hour passed, and the Sunny kept sailing westward, with no actual idea where they were going. "Siiigh… I'm getting hungry. You catch anything yet, Chris?" Carol asked.

"Unless you mean another set of boots, then no, Carol." Behind him was a pile of boots which he pulled from the ocean.

"Talk about a fishless sea." Aurora said. "I half-expected Kirie to catch something by now."

Chris spared her a glare. But out of the blue, he felt a force tug his lure. "Ha! Just for that, you ain't gettin' a piece, Aurora, 'cause I got a BIG one!"

They looked over the edge as Chris's line was following a giant silhouette in the ocean. (Play "The Tumbling" from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep.) Their eyes shot open when a gigantic, bluish-white swordfish, with an actual metal sword for a nose, flew over their ship and splashed in the sea, Chris's lure coming loose in the process.

Sheila shot up from the sudden rocking of the boat. "What in blazes?!"

They looked where the swordfish landed and saw its top fin moving along the surface. "It's a giant swordfish!!" Haylee exclaimed.

"Ho yeah!" Sheila grinned with excitement. "Let's have some fun!"

Sub-boss: Great Marlin

Chris threw his lure out again in attempt to catch the fish. The Great Marlin caught it and began to zoom around again, and everyone pulled Chris in attempt to pull the marlin in. The swordfish came their way and swam under the boat, flipping its tail up to smack the side. They all screamed when the marlin leaped up from the other side and aimed to stab its sword through the deck. "HEEEEEE-YUH!!" Sheila was already down behind the ship, having charged a strong enough Light Fist to push their vessel away and avoid the swordfish. With that, she built speed in her legs to run across the water and return to the deck.

"That ain't how ya do it, Mate!" Sheila informed, taking the fishing rod. "THIS is REAL fishing." She launched the rod out herself, allowing the marlin to catch. Instead of pulling it in, Sheila slipped over the railing and gracefully skied across the waves. Sheila quickly felt the rush of excitement, the rush she's been dying for this whole adventure. Her grip was firm on the rod as the marlin swam in all directions, performing many loops in attempt to shake her off. But Sheila had no desire to let go, and this whole event felt just like a game to her. Finally, the marlin jumped from the water and back in, flinging Sheila skyward in the process. She spun her tail to remain hovering as the marlin jumped right back, swordfirst, but Sheila spun her fist, grabbed the sword in her feet to run across, and PUNCHED the creature between the eyes.

He fell back in the sea as Sheila bounced back to her ship. They watched as the marlin stuck its sword above the surface and began to launch airwaves that struck the side of the ship. "Quick, get us outta here!" Artie yelled as Haylee rushed to the helm and tried to steer the ship away. When the marlin leaped above the waves, Sheila spun and launched the fishing lure to wrap around the base of its nose. Sheila was yanked off the deck when it splashed back down, then began skiing across the waves again. It flipped its tail up to send waves at the captain, but Sheila dodged left and right, reeling herself closer to the creature. The marlin swam further beneath the waves and pulled Sheila underwater. She still had a tight grip, but the swordfish turned around to face her directly.

The swordfish swam forward to pierce its passenger, but Sheila spun her right fist and punched the very tip of its sword straight up. She then spun her tail to start swimming around the beast and further tie it up. By the time it recovered, Sheila was firmly planted on its back, so the Great Marlin emerged above the waves and tried desperately to shake her off. Her friends watched this from the deck, and knew Sheila wasn't getting off so soon. When Sheila set her behind on an animal's back, she never got off until she was ready. Back when they were tiny, Mason still remembered how she tamed a fly. So watching this little endeavor made him laugh.

And she just wouldn't let go no matter how much the beast shook. But it was then she noticed something peculiar on its left side. It appeared to be the end of a harpoon, one that's been there for yonks. She immediately knew what she had to do: Sheila raised her right foot and spun it rapidly, building another charge of light. Finally, she slammed it powerfully against the marlin's right, and the harpoon came flying out. (End song.)

The marlin's blood-red eyes faded to an ocean-blue. It relaxed in the gentle waves as all its pain flowed away. Sheila lied on the monster's back and patted its side. "That oughta feel better, don't it, Mate?"

The crew smiled as Sheila rode back to the ship on the monster's back. "I call this beastie here Marilyn! Yep, this bloke here's a girl. No questionin'."

"Well, I ain't looking at its bottom." Artie stated.

"She ain't no beastie." Sheila patted her again. "She just afraid of people stabbin' her with stuff. Guess she's only used to those of her kind, hehe."

The swordfish lifted its blade to the deck so Sheila could walk up, untying the fishing lure. "Well, now that you're 'ere, maybe you c'n help us. Ever heard of Mt. Chocobo?" She grabbed a chocolate bar from her pocket and stuck it on the sword's tip.

The fish lowered and studied the treat before going underneath and bouncing the ship up with its sword. Marilyn flipped and sent the crew flying with her tail. "WAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Many nautical miles later

"Ohhhh…" The kids were all knocked out after the ship's landing. They awoke to find a peaceful blue night sky above their heads. The marlin probably flung them far, far away from the clouds.

"Ahhhh… Mari sure knows… how ta have a good time, eh?" Sheila spoke.

"Why did you have that… chocolate in your pocket, anyway?" Mason asked groggily.

"I meant ta eat it… a few days ago, but I got sidetracked."

"Sure made me hungry, though." Haylee groaned. "I want chocolate so bad, I can smell it."

"Me too…" Harry followed.

"…??" They all got to their feet, hearing a strange rumbling, the same scent of chocolate in all their noses. They looked over the edge, finding their boat sailing across a sea of chocolate.

"Hey, it's…it's chocolate!" Haylee confirmed.

"Hot, melted chocolate…" The sight made Harry's stomach shrink. "Man, what I'd give for some of that stuff."

"Then why just stare at it!" Carol beamed as she climbed down. "An ocean of chocolate is a rich person's pool, so count yourself lucky!" She reached down to touch the substance.

"No, Carol!" Haylee pulled her up. "It chocolatifies any soft matter it touches, you'll lose your hand!"

"Oh… Well, I'm not the type to be wearing a sweaty hook hand."

"Our ship should be safe since it's hard matter, but I'm not sure what'll happen if it's in long enough, so let's hope we're done quick."

"LAAAAND HOOOOO!" At Sheila's cry, they already knew: Chocolate Island was dead ahead.

The crew sailed along a river through the island and docked there, so their ship wouldn't be lost if the island started moving. As expected, Sheila was first to set foot on the shrub-filled island, and looked just as excited as ever. Chocolate Island looked more green than brown, and resembled your everyday jungle island. But the soil beneath their feet could be no other substance, and the air reeked with the luscious candy. "The best part of comin' to a new place… is the lovely stench." Sheila whiffed.

"All of these plants here are actually candies of different flavors!" Haylee explained. "The chocolate soil helps them grow."

"Ahhhh, what will the miracles of science give us next?" Chris joked.

Across the distance, a faint sound fell in Sheila's sensitive ears: the continuous pounding of drums. "Oi, bonkers! Someone must be having a rock concert up there!"

They all faced the distant volcano as smoke emerged. "It's a ceremony…" Haylee spoke grimly.

"You mean…" Harry replied.

"Yep. It's begun."

"Not for long." Sheila fist-palmed. "I wanna piece o' that bunny, TOO!"

"SHEILAAA!" they screamed.

"Okay, okay, I guess we should save it. Let's go, crew!" (Play the "Kelp Forest" theme from SpongeBob: Battle For Bikini Bottom.)

Stage 8: Chocolate Island

Mission: Rescue Mr. Fluffleupagus.

The team cut through shrubs as M. Bushes awoke to attack them. Chris and Aurora set fire to the venomous plants before they arrived at an open area, where Spear Guys danced to the stage's music. After spotting the pirates, they hurled their spears and stuck them to the ground by their shoes. They grabbed other spears and ran forward to stab them, but the pirates pulled the spears out and clashed with the Shy Guys. Harry kicked several in the face before the Shy Guys wept and cowered away. They dashed up a hill and bounced a series of large marshmallows across a chocolate river. The pirates bounced after them and landed on a new path.

They stepped up a hill to another open area where Minkeys hung from trees by their tails. They hurled chocolate rocks (far as you know) that the kids quickly dodged, while Chris and Aurora tossed fireballs at them. When Chris dodged one of their rocks- "Whoa!" he stepped onto one of many dirt patches on the ground, falling in a pit, but gripping the ledge as he looked into a flow of choco-lava (which they'll call java). Mason and Dillon also slipped into pits, but recovered in time. Haruka decided to send poison gas to the air and make the remaining Minkeys drop into pits. By that time, only one pit remained covered, so they decided to break it and found a safe ground with a Gold Wonka. Kirie dropped in to grab it before they continued.

They followed a wide pathway with a few fallen choco-trees and shrubs. Candy Bandits ambushed from behind and ran at them with candy swords. One of them swung at Chris, but he gripped the sword and flipped forward to kick him in the face. Two more stared at Artie confusedly as he danced with the music, while Harry snuck behind, stuck his earbuds in both their ears, and turned up the music to make them hurt, then leapt overhead to kick them in the craniums. Mason and Haru kept guard as three more approached them, but Sheila dropped from above, punched one in the head, and kicked away the others. One of them fell before a bundle of dollars on the ground, a smile on his face as he aimed to buy pretty rings. However, Carol smashed the back of his head with the heel of her high-heel.

"Wait, these were Henrietta's henchmen!" Haylee recognized. "When she was still… Heinrich."

"You don't think…" Harry spoke.

The path made a left turn as the group had to swing a series of Fruit Roll-up vines over a java river, where chocolate fish called Cocoas leaped up between the vines to catch prey. They reached an area beneath a cliffside, with a couple torches lighting the ground. Short, colorful, Mexican skeletons, called Mariachis, danced to a Sombrero Guy's tunes. The Mariachis began leaping around the area while throwing bones at the pirates, and Harry dodged one before hurling CDs like shurikens at it. "Oh, why am I doing that?" he questioned. Sheila ran to punch the Sombrero Guy, but it hopped onto a safe foothold along the cliff. The team kept trying to catch the skeletons, but remained untouchable with the Sombrero's music.

Sheila climbed onto a ledge on the left, and from there jumped to the Sombrero Guy's platform, only for him to jump to the previous ledge. Sheila kept trying to catch him, but he alternated between the left ledge, platform, and lower ground. For that reason, Dillon stood in one of the torch's light to stretch his shadow to where the Sombrero Guy jumps. When the Shy Guy landed there again, he was trapped in Dillon's Shadow Possession, allowing the boy to Shadow Strangle and defeat him. The Mariachis had no motivation to dance, so Sheila sent two's heads flying with punches, and Chris and Aurora wiped out the others.

With that, they all gathered on the left ledge, where a carved path seemed to lead directly up the cliff. "Any candy that lets us defy the laws of gravity?" Haruka asked.

"Well, this does." Haylee replied, finding a plant that resembled Ringpops. "You stick these in your mouth and keep sucking, and the sooper sour taste gives you the momentum to run across walls."

"Ehhh, suck on 'em yourself." Sheila stated, facing the slope directly. "Ah'm a Mobian, gravity defiance is mah middle name." And with that, she dashed directly up, not stopping for a second. The path went rightward, so Sheila made a careful turn, rushing high above the jungle. She came to a javafall that had a gap behind it, and would cause her to slip, but a marshmallow fell down that she jumped to, bounced off, and got back on track. The path became wider as Sheila had to sidestep to avoid spiky candycanes. The path turned left and brought Sheila to the top of the cliff. She caught her breath and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for all her crewmates to finally make it. "Oi, what took you cobbers so long?"

"Not everyone has the Mobian genetics, Sheila." Mason said as they gasped for breath, having to constantly suck a Ringpop while they ran.

They stepped up to another open area, where two children appeared unconscious in the center, a boy and girl. They were about 7, and their clothes were torn, bruises on their skin. "Hey… I know these kids." Haylee spoke. "They're Jessie and Sandy, from the First Grade Hallway."

"You mean at school?" Artie asked.

"Jessie's the First Grade President." Harry mentioned.

"Yeah. And their dad's the teacher, even." Haylee followed.

"Hey, wake up!" Sheila kicked the kids' bodies and shook them awake. "What 'appened to you blokes?"

"Mmmmnnn…" The siblings moaned as they awakened. "What happened…" Sandy asked.

"We were asking you that!" Sheila yelled.

"Wait… you're the fourth-graders from school!" Jessie recognized the Gilligans and Unos. He spoke with an Indian accent.

"Please, you have to help us!" Sandy proclaimed. "Mr. Fluffleupagus was captured!"

"We thought so…" Haylee replied. "But how'd you wind up out here?"

"The pirates broke into school and kidnapped him three days ago." Jessie explained. "We stowed away on their ship and were brought to this island. They found us following them and left us out here."

"You should've just called the Kids Next Door-" Mason was punched by Sheila.

"You know them blokes couldn't do anything. Mates, we'll get your bunny back." she assured. "Just follow our lead!"

"Actually, our mom told us about a shortcut to the volcano!" Sandy replied. "When she first came here!"

"Follow us, we'll take you!" Jessie said.

The kids hurried up the path as the pirates followed. They crossed a bridge over a java river as Sandy scraped her hands across the bridge's rope, snapping strings as logs swung down and nearly hit the pirates, but they ducked. "Hey, watch it!!" Chris yelled.

"Sorry! I'm always afraid of falling."

They made it to another path where the first-graders carefreely hopped across tree-stumps. Arrow Guys rose behind bushes near those stumps and shot arrows at the pirates, but Kirie tossed fans and countered the arrows, then flew over to kick the Shy Guys in the face. They followed the kids up a staircase overlooking a chocolate maelstrom, where marshmallows emerged and sunk in random areas. Jessie and Sandy grabbed a vine and swung across, but the vine broke once they made it. "Whoops! Sorry!" Sandy yelled. "You can bounce across those, right?"

"Yeh, yeh." Sheila sighed. She bounced first across the marshmallows, having to glide to ones that were further away. The others followed more carefully since most of them couldn't glide, very nervous about falling in the java. Carol slipped on her high-heels and nearly fell, but Mason's marshmallow floated close to her and allowed him to pull her back up. They eventually made it across and followed the kids further through the jungle. They were led to a chocolate river that flowed to the waterfall above the cliffside from earlier. Just as well, Marshlogs flowed down, so the group had to hop on one and roll it upriver, since Jessie and Sandy took the only vines that snapped. ('Course, the pirates didn't notice the Mariachis cutting the vines after the children crossed.)

Cocoas leapt at them from the river, and chocolate spikeballs dropped down from above, forcing the crew to carefully navigate. They saw Jessie and Sandy already rushing through the jungle before the pirates could make it, and when they finally reached the path, Aurora called, "Hey, wait up!" They chased around several trees and shrubs, having to dodge Arrow Guys and kick away M. Bushes. They quickly skidded to a halt when they spotted the long, rickety bridge leading to Mt. Chocobo. Two Spitballosaurs stood guard before it, while a Footballosaur patrolled across the bridge itself. However, there were two torches on either side of the guards.

"I have an idea." Dillon whispered, seeing the Footballosaur walking away from them. "Carol, distract 'em." The rich girl stepped forward and drew the Spitballers' attention with money. She tossed the money between them on the bridge, and when they scrambled to grab it, Kirie quietly approached the closest one and performed the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, knocking him out, then throwing him over the edge. With the other bully still distracted, Dillon stood in a torch's light and stretched his shadow across the bridge to catch the bully. He kept the bully in place as the Footballosaur approached, and when it was close, Dillon made the Spitballosaur tickle the Footballer. The buffer bully laughed hysterically, unable to defend as Sheila dashed over and punched him forcefully, afterwards knocking the Spitballer out.

They crossed the bridge and made it to the jungle at the volcano's base. The jungle felt much darker, and a dead silence fell over the land. (Play the "Owl Lights" theme from Sonic Lost World.)

"Hooo…" The pirates flinched and hid beneath a tree. Standing on the volcano's top was a gigantic, dark-blue Hootz, with eyes that shone like searchlights. He began searching the jungle for prey, and spotted a moving M. Bush. A swarm of smaller Hootz, with glowing red eyes, swooped down, grabbed the bush, and fed it to the larger owl. "Iiii… guess we don't wanna get caught by that." Aurora said.

"Better stay silent." Dillon whispered. Kirie smiled and nodded.

While the owl skimmed a right part of the forest, the team followed a rightward path. They found an open area with many tall tree-stumps, crouching behind to avoid the owl's vision. Mason tip-toed forward, but stepped on a twig and quickly zipped behind the stump before the Hootz looked. They hurried to a watery area, where a large log led across, with short walls they could hide behind. They could just swim across, but the splashing would draw the Hootz's attention. It was still difficult to keep balance while hiding behind the walls when the owl looked their way anyway. They made it across okay and took cover beneath a short, climbable cliff.

There were two mirrors above the ledge that aimed down, allowing the owl to skim the cliff, his spotlight reflecting off the mirrors. There were stubs in the cliff they had to climb around, but wait for the Hootz's spotlight to move away. They climbed onto a new, snaky path, leading toward the volcano, and some jagged rocks to hide behind. There were also Candy Bandits asleep in front of rocks, and twigs lying around that would awaken the bandits, or draw the owl's attention if they were stepped on. Kirie gracefully jumped between the twigs on her tippy-toes, sneaking to the first bandit, forcing her arms over his mouth and nose until he fell unconscious.

The Silent Specialist kept this up and knocked out other bandits as the friends quietly crossed the path. It led to a dead end with a small fireplace, a slight wind blowing the smoke to the left. A bush of Fudgepuffsicles sat beside them, but the smoke was too thin to hide behind. So they grabbed a bunch of the twigs lying around and threw them onto the fire, creating a bigger line of smoke. Sheila, Mason, and some others ate the Puffsicles while Harry, Carol, and others rode on their friends. They kept behind the smoke and evaded the owl's vision. A Gold Wonka Bar hovered slightly above them, so Kirie bounced on Dillon's inflated body to grab it. They took safe land on another path, hiding from the Hootz beneath a short ledge.

The jungle ended as they made it to the volcano's side, having to jump up a series of platforms over a flowing java river. They made it to a cave's entrance, seeing the owl focused on a more distant area. "This cave should lead to the volcano's altar." Haylee whispered. "But where did those two kids go?"

The beating of drums sounded in their ears, but especially Sheila's.

"Maybe they got captured." Aurora said. "Let's just get in quick, the ceremony's starting. We have to save that bunny before they-" But already, Sheila was dashing up the volcano, straight to the Hootz. "Sheila, wait! ! They probably have a lot of troops-"

"Huuuuu-YUH!!" The owl glared at Sheila, but she spun her fist and punched directly at its stomach. (End song.)

Mt. Chocobo Altar

Candy Bandits furiously pounded the drums and chanted the tune as Mr. Fluffleupagus lay trapped within the cage dangling from the rabbit statue's hands. Maggie stood by the statue's gears with Stewie by her side, while Black John Licorice glared at the rabbit. "So, Mr. Fluffleupagus, you thought you could be safe within the confines of a wee little school."

"Waaaa!" the bunny yelled.

"But NO scallywag can avoid 'is fate for long! And YER fate as a Sugary Wonder is ta bake in the cauldron of Mt. Chocobo, home of the warmest, purest chocolate in ALL the Seven Seas! And only the bunny with the holiest essence, ta heal any sort of matter, will grant the most satisfying taste, once chocolatified! Maggie: BEGIN the lowerin'!"

The bandits continued to chant as Maggie lowered the cage, the bunny screaming in fear. "HOOOOO!" The pirates gasped when their gigantic guard owl suddenly came flying to the altar, shaking the ground as it landed before the drums. Black John studied the owl as its feathers were ruffled, and blood leaked from its mouth.

"Oh, Anny! Me sweet Hootin' Anny!" John cried. "What mangy bloke coulda done this??"

"HEEEEY!" They looked atop the crater's walls as Sheila stood high on the other side. "No one starts a party wifout Sheila Frantic!"

"It be Sun-Fist Sheila! FIIIRE!!" The bandits took aim with lollipop machineguns. (Play "Can't Escape, Fight!" (second part) from One Piece!)

"Ipe!" Sheila fell in and hovered halfway down before kicking her feet and beginning to run along the wall. The line of lolli-bullets followed her, but she focused straight forward as she made it to the side of the altar's cliff. The Candy Bandits took aim and fired at Sheila, but she leaped overhead and dodged the bullets, kicking down at two bandits at once. More ran at her with swords, but Sheila swiftly spun and punched them all away. "WHOA!" She got trapped in an anti-gravity bubble, originating from Stewie's ray gun.

"Well, look at that, Maggs: I shoot faster than the speed of light." Stewie joked. "Alright, shoot her."

Maggie cocked her gun and readied to shoot the raccoon. However, the other Raccoon Pirates came hurrying through the entrance behind the statue. "And my HAT moves faster than YOU!" Artie hurled his hat and bonked Stewie's head, causing him to release Sheila and make Maggie miss.

"Haaaaa!" Mason ran for Stewie and leapt to throw a kick, but the baby fired his shrink ray and zapped him to one inch. "Eeek!"

"I've heard of small minds, but yours has to be smaller than my father's after he drunk 10 beers and ran several red lights, resulting in a car wreck that got him sent to a coma, where the doctors injected him with…" Haruka quickly scooped Mason up and ran off, "um… something about… Huh, this joke is all over the place. Sigh, I should've just left it with 'smaller than my father's brain'. Sigh, now I have to warp to this part in the time machine and tell this joke again."

Carol and Kirie clashed with two bandits' swords with their umbrella and fans before jumping up, kicking them in the face, and knocking them back. "HAAAAA!" At that instant, Jessie and Sandy ran at them with candycane knives, but Sheila defended her friends and kicked the two away. With that, Chris, Aurora, and Dillon hurried and looked over them.

"I thought something was fishy." Dillon said.

"So these two were… assassins?!" Aurora questioned.

"Somethin' ain't hokey in the pokey." Sheila replied.

"Maggie! Lower the cage, quickly!" John commanded.

The baby continued spinning the gears, and the fear returned to Fluffleupagus. Leave it alone!! Kirie flipped over and kicked Maggie away, then grabbed the handle to stop the cage's descent. Chris then dropped onto the cage and lit a blowtorch on his finger to burn its lock.

"Hmph!" Stewie grabbed a rock, threw it above the cage, and quickly zapped it with a grow ray to make it into a boulder. Chris gasped at seeing the boulder, quickly jumping to punch it into the java. Stewie turned when Artie ran at him and started throwing punches, but Stewie was quick to defend as he back-flipped and threw a punch that sent Artie across the field.

"Ow! How does a baby hit that hard??" he questioned.

"When his mother hits as hard as she does." he smirked. He grabbed another rock and threw it above Artie in attempt to re-expand.

"Not this time!" Haruka tossed the Mini Mason into the ray's beam and re-expanded him instead, so Mason dropped and threw a cloud of gas over Stewie. The baby coughed and tried to fight his way out, but Aurora set the gas aflame and burned him.

"Mw-mw!" Maggie pushed Kirie away and shot the gears' handle to make the cage drop completely.

"Chris!!" Aurora cried.

"What?" Their faces beamed when the Uno boy flew overhead with rocket feet, the bunny safely in his arms. Maggie glared and shot at the boy, but Chris threw the bunny to Carol and flew at Maggie. The baby swiftly dodged right and aimed to shoot him, but Dillon emerged from the ground in front of her and tackled her, throwing her against the wall.

Black John looked with worry as the kids defeated the last of the bandits. "It's over, Black John!" Aurora declared as the 11 surrounded him. "You can't take on all of us!"

"Aye. But maybe THEY can!" And with that, John ripped a dark hole in space, where a squad of Mariachis and ghosts emerged from beyond.

"Eeeeeee!" Sheila shuddered at the sight of the ghosts. "Wh-What are they??"

"Hee hee heeeee." John grinned with malice as his right hand brimmed with darkness. "Feast yer eyes on me power: the Ghoul-Ghoul Fruit. My connection with the Underworld makes me the only vessel suitable for this cursed fruit. The ghouls of the Underworld heed to my every whim! And yers will soon JOIN!" He sent the ghouls to attack the kids as they tried to fight back.

Sheila instead ran for John, but- "Shave!" he warped behind and held his fingers ready. "Finger Pistol: Death Sentence!"

"Mmm!!" Sheila's eyes widened when the fingers jabbed her rear.

"Ten to a Hundred YEARS!" And Sheila went flying away.

"Whoooaaa!" She regained composure and started running across the volcano's wall, tossing Light Spheres at John. To counter, the ghoulish pirate tossed the many lollipops that were on his jacket. Sheila easily avoided and jumped directly at him from the other side of the pit. John jumped back as Sheila landed firmly, and the pirate tossed two lollies to pin her sandals down. She merely jumped from her sandals and threw rapid kicks at the pirate's face before he zipped behind and punched her away. She got up and ran to throw quick punches that John countered, before he jumped away and launched a group of lollipops that pierced her left foot, right leg, left hip, right shoulder and arm, and left wrist.

"Sheila!" Aurora yelled before burning a Mariachi.

"Heh, heh…" Sheila gasped for breath before rapidly spinning her right fist. She ran forward and jumped to punch John's face, but he dodged right, but Sheila swung her left foot to kick him anyway, causing the lollipop in her foot to be pushed further down. "Nnn!" She didn't let the pain affect her as she kept her arm spinning, running for John, leaping overhead, and punching him in the back, sending him across the field.

"Heh!" John recovered and smirked at her again.

"Huff, huff…" Sheila spun her right arm again and faced directly at him. "This oughta finish it!" She ran forth, ready to deliver the blow.

"Oh yah?! Well, try and beat THIS!" He shielded himself with his jacket as all the rows of lollipops stood up and became spikes.

"!!" Mason gasped.

"Ay used these lollies to stop a bull! Surely a wee lass like you can't breach!"

"Hrrrr!" Sheila still ran for him.

"It's no use, Lassie! Yer best option is ta stop where ya stand! Go ahead! Stop!"

"Haaaaahhh!" Sheila leapt forward, and John only smirked as he raised the spikes fully. "YAH!!!" Her fist PIERCED through the spikes and punched John dead in the face.

"OH!!" Her friends gaped.

"ARRRRRRR!" John flew back with a look of shock on his bloody face. He landed and slid back, having nearly lost all consciousness. (End song.)

The lollipops on the part where Sheila punched were pierced through her hand as it began to bleed. She began to pluck all the spikes from her body as she gasped for breath. "You think… I'm gonna stop here?" She tossed the blood-soaked lollipops on the ground. "Only I decide… when ta stop." She pulled the last one out of her foot. "Now's not the time." And with that, she faced Black John with a confident smirk. "And make sure your captain knows that, by the time I get ta Candy Island!"

"Hm hm hm!…" The others couldn't help but smile at her spirit.

"Ahhhh, One Piece references." Harry sighed.

As he lay there covered with soot, Stewie woke up with monstrous yellow eyes. "Rrrrrr!" The baby shot up and punched the ground, creating a shockwave that knocked everyone down. He zipped over to Carol, who still had the bunny, grabbed her, and tossed them both into the volcano. "Aaaahhh!"

"Carol!" Mason immediately jumped down after her, grabbed his friend, and tossed her and the bunny back up before splashing in the chocolate himself.

"MASON!!" Everyone looked over the edge with horror. The ripples formed by Mason's splash began to fade away.

"HA HA haaaa! Poor wee runt, set to become some fat boy's snack!" Black John laughed.

"Mason…" Carol sobbed helplessly, and spoke loudly. "He risked his life to save me! All because I couldn't protect that bunny!" A sniffle. "What have I done to him?!"

Fluffleupagus started to feel guilty himself. If they weren't all trying to protect him… no one would've suffered. With a serious look, the bunny dove headfirst into the molten java, much to everyone's surprise. He glowed with a magic light that protected him within the chocolate pool. He saw Mason's chocolatified body slowly sinking to the depths. He touched Mason with his light and sent him back to the surface.

Everyone watched as Mason flew out inside a ball of light. He took land on the ground as his chocolate body melted. He gasped awake, studying his restored flesh, still covered in chocolate. "Hey, I…I'm alive!"

"Oh, MASON!!" Carol immediately squeezed him in a hug. "Thank goodness you're SAFE, I was so WORRIED!" As expected, he gasped for breath.

"But where's…" Aurora spoke worriedly. At this, everyone looked back in the volcano as something floated to the surface. It was Mr. Fluffleupagus, completely chocolatified.

Black John sent a couple of ghosts to retrieve the bunny, and drop it in his hand. "Ha ha ha ha haaaa." He grinned maniacally. "Mr. Fluffleupagus… how TASTY you look! Oh, how I've longed to feast on your flesh… but alas, you will be baked much more exquisitely!"

The volcano started to rumble as the rabbit statue cracked. "Ahhh, 'guess it's time to leave." John decided as his owl recovered, and he and the babies hopped on. "If we recover your chocolate corpses, we'll be sure to have a victory snack!"

The kids quickly moved away before the statue crumbled completely. "We have to get out of here!" Aurora yelled.

"What about those kids?!" Mason yelled, pointing at Jessie and Sandy, still unconscious.

"Screw them, they tried to kill us!" Artie yelled.

"But why didn't they take 'em with 'em??" Harry questioned.

"I dunno, but…" Before they knew it, the cave entrance crumbled, and there seemed to be no way out of there.

"'Guess our only choice is to hope we get chocolate powers…" Aurora said with doubt.

"WHOOA!" Dillon's spot crumbled as he fell into the pit.

"Dillon!!"

But to their fortune, a series of licorice ropes launched down and grabbed them all, raising them to safety. Aurora ran to grab Jessie and Sandy before she was lifted. A colorful, candy-made helicopter soared away from the island, bringing the kids up to safety.

"That vas a close call." said a tall, slim woman in an explorer's uniform, her bright blonde hair blowing in the propeller's wind. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" Aurora replied, still trying to relieve the fear as they pulled off the ropes. Their savior was squatted as she looked over the other side's door. "Who are you?"

"You've all grown a lot since I last saw you. I couldn't expect you to remember me. I am ze great explorer," she turned and smiled with her beautiful, clear face and bright blue eyes, with a monocle over the left eye, "Henrietta von Marzipan."

Candied Island; Big Mom's Lair

"We have a report from John's group, Ma." spoke Nickel Joe as he flipped his favorite coin. "The capture of the Easter Bunny was a success. As was his chocolatification."

"GOOOOOOD!" Big Mom drooled ravenously. "One of the Sugary Wonders is OUUUURS at last! I can't wait to BAKE them aaaaall!"

"He also believes the Raccoon Pirates drowned in the volcano, but he escaped before he could confirm."

"Neeeehhh… I doubt they would drown that easy. The Raccoon Pirates are a steadfast force. Which is why Augustus has hired new protection! SIR KNIGHTLY:… step into my domain."

A door creaked open on the left side, unveiling a long staircase. Victory fanfare started to play as a shining idol made his presence known atop the stairs. He was a gallant knight made of pots and pans, standing with the utmost pride. He marched down each stair slowly, with each step firm and true. No being ever looked more courageous, more resolute, more willing to get into action. But the discarded cupcake on a stair would impede his march.

"WAAAAH!" He slipped on the unseen hazard and painfully bounced down the flight of stairs. His covered body looked like a lifeless, metal doll as he bounced haphazardly, his limbs bending everywhere. The chamber echoed with the banging of metal until he finally landed on the bottom. Sir Knightly jumped to his feet with a proud solute. "SIR KNIGHTLY-SAAAAAN at your SERVICE, Sir! I shall smite all the baddies in your NAAAAME, and WHOOP-di-JOO!" He slipped, flew up, and landed on his back.

"…Well, they usually show potential in the end." Joe grinned.

"I-I think I… hurt my ear."

Bonus: Rivals

Uno Household

"Snooooore…shoooo…snoooore…shoooo…"

BEEEP! BEEEP! BEE-

Cheren's hand plopped onto the alarm clock as he rolled over. This was on accident, though, as he was still fast asleep. It was only when 10 more minutes passed that the morning sun peered through his window, forcing his tired eyes to open. Still not wanting to wake up, he squinted his eyes at his clock, almost certain it would've gone off by now. …It read 7:10.

"AAAAAH! OH GOD, WHAT HAPPENED, I'M LATE, I'M LATE!" He zipped downstairs.

In seconds, he was in his clothes with his backpack packed, zooming out the door. "Wait!" His father, Nigel called. "Your mom made you-"

"There's no TIME for that, I'm late I'm late!"

Five minutes later, the bus arrived, but Cheren was far ahead of it. He only needed a few more blocks 'til he was at the school and victory would be assured. "NOT so fast, boy!" Already beside him, the very reason he rushed out so quickly: to beat Panini Drilovsky.

"YOU AREN'T BEATING ME THIS TIME!"

"Ay'm not just Rabbit Ears, AY'M Rabbit Legs! And YER eatin' my dust!"

Their speed was unreal, and definitely equally matched. It looked like anyone's game as they were seconds from Gallagher's front doors. But with a little more pulse, Panini ran a few inches ahead of Cheren, and busted down the door while Cheren slipped in defeat. Many children and teachers jumped in surprise. "YYYYES! STOMPED ya again, Boy!"

"FIRST ONE TO CLASS!" The duo began another dash, in which they took separate routes around the halls. Cheren was nearly to victory, but-

"SNAGGED IT!" Panini threw the door open first and let Cheren slam into it. The boy fell on his back, then felt someone standing over him.

"Uhhh… hi, Mom." His mother, who was the school principal, looked disapprovingly.

"Cheren, how many times do we have to go over this. The 200 Wing is the better shortcut, not the 300."

"Uuugh. I knew it was one or the other."

He walked in in a slumped fashion and took his seat beside a smirking Panini. "At least I listen to my mummy."

"First one to beat today's quiz!"

"Ah'll do that and MORE!" They grabbed their papers and began to scribble frantically.

From outside, Aurora, Francis, Harry, and Artie watched them. "They're at it again." Aurora said.

"There some kinda rivalry-bug goin' around?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I mean, everybody's doing it. Just look at those two." Artie pointed.

"Er! Outta my way, Shortstuff!" The group turned to find First Grade President, Jessie Sidney, trying to force his way into a classroom. He was locked in a shoving contest with a girl in a dark-purple two-piece swimsuit, purple towel-cape, bare feet, and purple crown with a shell crest. They knew her as Princess Shelly Johnson, local beach bully and Fourth Grade President (or rather, Queen).

"Suck a sand dune, you big-footed freak!" Jessie had both hands shoving her face while Shelly's foot was pressed against his. "I'm taking the window seat!"

"You can have the other one, BEHIND ME." With a forceful kick, Jessie was down and Shelly had claimed the seat. "Nnn hnn hnn hnn hnnn!" Shelly's infamous snicker that drove Jessie crazy whenever she did it. "The queen takes the front!"

"Great." Jessie frowned, begrudgingly taking the seat behind her. "You get to be the first one to be shot, *** princess."

"HE CUSSED!!" the other students screamed.

"It's only friendly rivalry." Sandy Sidney told them with a smile.

"ROCK ON!"

"See you for the pudding-eating contest." Shelly smirked. And for the rest of that class, Jessie's view of the chalkboard was blocked by Shelly's crown.

That lunch bell…

"Grrrr!" Cheren and Panini rushed down the lunch line to claim their favorite foods first, and several other groups were in the scuffle as well. A brother and sister were locked in an endless staring contest, two boys were trying to stay on one foot all day, and a boy and two girls were going the whole day without talking, trying to outlast the other. The action everyone was most focused on was at Table 3, where all five Grade Presidents engaged in pudding-eating contests, since the young ones couldn't ingest many hotdogs. :P

They had many cups of chocolate pudding and were hurriedly trying to swallow them all before the others. The Third Grade conked out first out of hopelessness, the Second Grade started choking and was forced to stop and start breathing in his inhaler. The Fifth Grade almost made it, but he got a stomachache, so Jessie and Shelly were the only ones left. Jessie could swallow a lot for a 7-year-old, but Shelly's stomach wasn't bursting anytime soon. The girl showed pure gusto when eating her pudding, but that only tempted Jessie to eat faster.

"All right! Jessie's about to make it!" Timmy Gilligan cheered, his support followed by Hikari and Joey's.

But thinking fast, Shelly smirked and- "Haaaa, aaaah, aaaCHOO!" forced her knees against the table and shook Jessie's pudding cups off.

"HEY!"

Shelly quickly cut open her last three cups and chugged them down. "WOOHOO! VICTORY!" She fist-pumped, chocolate around her mouth.

"I hereby decree SHELLY the winner!" Principal Rachel announced.

"YEAH! UH-HUH! I'm queen of the beach and QUEEN of the pudding! Nnne hnn hnn hnnnn!" Shelly jumped on the table and raised her arms victoriously. "Hey, later we'll have a contest to see who can clog the toilet the most." She smirked, flicking Jessie's nose with her toe.

"Uhhh, Principal Rachel, was there really a contest scheduled for this?" a teacher asked her.

"Not really."

Outside

The first-graders and fourth-graders engaged in a soccer game, with Jessie protecting his team's goal. The score was even 6-to-6, and Shelly had the ball, lightly kicking it up and down. "This is the finishing blow, Shorty. Think that little gut of yours can withstand my foot?"

"I've dealt with babies that kicked harder than you!"

"We'll see about that!" She focused tight on the goal, and the foreign boy that blocked it. Just as well, Jessie stood firmly and kept a sharp eye on the ball, ready to block it wherever it went. Shelly kicked it a little higher, jumped, and with all her might, sent it hurling to the goal like a meteor. It came awfully fast, but Jessie wasn't afraid. He would stand and block it like the Great Wall. You know, before the aliens destroyed it. With a witty grin, Shelly shifted her left foot back.

"Whoa!" Jessie became unbalanced, right when the ball came and SOCKED him in the face, into the net with the ball.

"YEAH!!!" Shelly felt as prideful as she did a few minutes ago. "Shelly kicks butt and she kicks BALLS! …Why did that sound weird? But hey, Shorts, at least you'll be making some money offa those lost teeth. KNIGHTS! Your princess grows weary! Carry her to her bundles of chocolate-chip cookies and fountain of the finest juices!"

"HO HOOOO!" Three knights in conchshell armor came and lifted Shelly in their arms, carrying their leader away.

Jessie remained with his hands tied in the net's strings, not feeling the strength to help himself out. Cheren approached him with blue shoes and blue jacket, as opposed to his red clothes. "Don't worry. I heard she just has a little snack pack and one of those boxed juices."

"The *** are you wearing?"

"Eh, Panini beat me in the pie-eating contest and made me paint my clothes blurpleberry."

"Siiiigh." Jessie leaned his head back. "What's the point anymore. Ever since I was in kindergarten, Shelly's kicked my butt in everything. *** bigfoot. *** big kids. How can I represent the First Grade if I can't even beat a dumb beach bully?"

"Heh heh heh. I know how you feel." He sat beside him. "You won't believe how much I try to beat Panini at stuff."

"There's a difference, you two are *** lovebirds. Shelly's just… uuuugh. I can't stand her. She thinks she owns the whole school just 'cause her older cousins follow her around everywhere, and she totally CHEATS at our contests. I hope her house burns down and she has to walk on a bunch of shattered glass."

"Well, even if they're bullies, the good thing about rivals is, they help shape who you are and help hone your skills. It's good to have people that'll keep you active and ready, 'cause then-"

"Look, did I ask for a lecture from a *** 4th-grader?"

"Well, YOU need to work on your 'tude." he said more angrily. "How's about we meet up for Gun Wars later after I race Panini around the school and to the buses?"

"It's a match then!" Jessie decided.

"See you then." Cheren walked away with an eager smirk, leaving Sandy to untie her brother's hands.

Ashland Park

The rivalry game continued elsewhere, too. At Ashland Park, many kids gaped as two stone pillars rose from the ground, one higher than the other. Fybi Fulbright flew up to confirm this. "Prithee, Michelle hath claimed this victory again."

"NOT fair, you were stomping softer soil!" Anthony yelled.

"I was NOT, you just had softer feets!" Michelle argued.

"We'll see whose is softer after yours goes tumbling down!" He stomped an earthquake at Michelle's pillar, but accidentally made it higher, while also causing his own pillar to crumble.

"Awwwww! Thank you, Anthonyyyy!"

"Aaaauugh!"

Downtown Cleveland; The Gang's Hideout

Kimaya Heartly chugged down three sodas and let them bubble in her stomach. "BUUUUUURRP!" She released a loud, smelly burp that blew tiny Kateenian, Vweeb away. "Top THAT, Shrimpy."

"Heh!" With a witty smirk, Vweeb hopped atop a soda can, stuck an extended straw down, and sucked it in. His belly filled with the fizziness, he released his burp. "Buuuu- WHOA!" He ended up blowing himself off the can.

"HA HA HA HA! It's fun to see you try, Little Dude!"

"Grrrr WELL AT LEAST I STILL BEAT YOU IN THE HYGIENE COMPETITION, that's the only reason I didn't win-" Kimaya just smashed Vweeb under her hand.

"That's okay, 'cause I smash yo' butt in everything else."

"OOOH! OOOH!" Kaleo Anderson, who was still a 20-foot giant due to recent events, spoke eagerly. "I BET I CAN TOP HER!" He grabbed four six-packs of sodas and swallowed them whole.

"LEO, NOOO!" They all screamed.

As people casually walked the streets above ground, the whole city jumped for a brief second. No one ever found out what that was.

Back at Gallagher…

"YOU'RE DOING MY HOMEWORK TODAY, PANINI." Cheren declared as the two raced around the halls.

"Not before ya polish my BOOTS!" They zipped by the principal's office as Rachel stepped out.

"CHEREEEEN! 400 Wing's getting mopped tomorrow, may wanna run across the lockers."

"'kaaaaaay."

Rachel went back in her office to continue signing papers. One of the teachers walked in and asked confusedly, "Um, Mrs. Uno… are you really okay with students, running around like this? I mean, it can't really be healthy to eat pudding that fast…"

"Well, no matter where you're from, kids're always gonna have rivals. But it's not like our usual methods are encouraging them to do their homework, are they?"

"No… they're not." He sighed.

Outside, Jessie and Shelly were once again in the struggle to enter the bus first. "Nn, I want the window seat!" yelled Jessie.

"You're too short to enjoy it, anyway!" The bus was delayed for a while because of their scuffle.