The Monster Within

I let out a shocked gasp as I stared at her lifeless body.

There was a huge cut all the way from her throat down to her stomach. It made a bloody mess on her clothes as well as the ground. Her eyeballs were plucked out and her eye sockets were left empty.

I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to faint. But I found myself unable to do anything. All I did was stare at her lifeless bloody body.

I thought of the few times my mom had shown affection to me.

The few times she hugged me. It was always short, too short; like she didn't want to get attached.

I thought of all the times I had longed for her utmost love.

All the times I had wanted her to just hug me and tell me it was going to be alright.

Like how I so much wanted her to do it right now.

Tears finally escaped my eyes.

"Mom." I finally managed to utter as tears flowed freely down my eyes.

I stared at her face and more tears cascaded down my face.

"Mom — I need you. I still need you. Yo —You can't leave me now. I still need you. "

My lips trembled violently as I pleaded with her.

Again, I asked myself.

Was this real?

My whole body trembled in shock and pain. Yet I just stood there and watched her.

Was this real?

"I don— I don't want this to be real. I don't!" I cried out loud as I shook my head vigorously.

"It doesn't make any sense! No one on Aromes can do this monstrous thing! No one! Who could have done it? It makes no sense! It can't." I argued.

This was just too much...

"I just need you to wake up Mom... please..." my trembling lips whispered.

My own tears and mucus from my nose had messed up my already messed up clothes. It didn't bother me. All I wanted was my mom.

"Xena... Xena... Xena."

I gasped at the sound of the whisper. I looked around to find the whisperer but there was no one. I turned my head back to lifeless Mom and flinched. The action made me fall on my rump.

My mom wasn't lifeless anymore.

She was seated and staring at me with empty holes.

I stared widely back at her. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I was tongue-tied.

"Xena!!"

More whispers filled the air but her mouth never moved, yet I knew it was coming from her.

"Why Xena?"

Her mouth moved for the first time.

I became soaked in my own sweat. Breathing became hard and my trembling body increased its violent trembles.

"Why are you so heartless?" Her voice sounded terrifying. It had power and authority laced in it.

"Xena... Xena... Xena."

More whispers filled the air.

"I don't —I don't know what you're talking about. I don't!" I stuttered uncontrollably.

"Xena..."

"How could you Xena?" She shot another harsh question at me, ignoring my response totally.

"I didn't —I didn't do any —anything. I didn't..." my trembling lips claimed.

"How dare you XENA!" She screamed.

The sudden change in tone startled me so much that I didn't realize it when I started running. That wasn't my mom.

I ran so fast.

My life depended on it.

I threw a glance behind and to my surprise caught sight of her as she was coming at me inhumanly fast! She was crawling on all fours which made the scene behind me even creepier.

"Xena... Xena... Xena." The never-ending whispers echoed in my head.

My heart was pounding violently against my ribcage. The vibration of my body scared me beyond compare. My sweaty body caused my clothes to cling to my skin but I kept running.

I was going to die.

The staircase was never my end. This was.

There was nothing that was going to stop me from running to save myself. I had only one destination in mind.

Our house. It was the one place where I felt safe and sound.

The house had finally appeared and it was only a matter of time before I got to it. That thing was beginning to close in on me as well.

I finally came inches away from the little fenced gate when—

'Do you know what I wish for?'

My own voice echoed in my head.

My heart sank. Guilt enveloped me within seconds.

At that very moment, that thing grabbed my left leg. I fell and hit the ground hard. I groaned in pain.

It suddenly started pulling at me, dragging me further away from the safety of my home.

I was already too stuck and imprisoned by my thoughts to try and fight back or protest.

'How could you be so heartless? So thoughtless!'

Mom's voice echoed in my head as well. The guilt was too heavy to bear.

'I wish you never existed!'

The harshness of my own voice made me flinch. The thing kept dragging me on the rough surface of the ground. I was sure I had earned bruises already.

It was then I realized it.

I brought this upon myself.

'I wish some misfortune can just befall you and you die!'

My breath caught in my own throat.

I deserve all these punishments.

'Do you know what I wish for?'

How could I have wished that to my only brother?

I was a monster.

My wish had been fulfilled... that's why everyone left me.

The thing finally stopped dragging me. It turned me over. Then it hovered above me.

The moment my eyes made contact with its disfigured face, I broke down and started wailing like a broken and helpless woman. The empty sockets replayed my cruel words over and over.

"I deserve any punishment. I'm a monster." I cried and shut my eyes.

"I did this. I brought this upon myself. I —I am heartless. I'm selfish. I'm evil. I deserve any punishment..." I wailed as tears cascaded down my cheeks.

I finally pried my own eyes open after a while, expecting to meet its disfigured face before mine; but to my surprise, it was gone.

It left me.

Once again, I was all alone.

I cried.