Feelings On Vibes

I was convinced that we could get to know each other and grow to love however it may be, because from that careless night till now.

I haven't find a replacement for her!

I haven't found anyone, everyone else was just another refreshments of your memories, the main pain of it all is every single thing reminds me of you.

It's like her entire existence lives rent free in my head, and each time I am not with you I could only but wonder.

What she's doing?

What she's wearing ?

What she ate?

Who made her laugh?

What she's doing and why I haven't even heard what she and her voice would sound like today?.

Would she be horny or cooler ? Would she be sweet or mean, would she want to hear me, if you ask me sincerely I don't mind using my every day to adore her.

She's the only person I found myself so surprisingly attracted to in all ramifications no matter how long it is we are apart, every time i catch a glimpse of her, she radiate, beautiful like the stars, like the moon, and her smile always had a melting point in my body, i feel lost in her presence, i feel the desperate need to be loved, to be touched, to be cared for, protected, and even fucked by her..

She made me feel so many things inside that even when I try to ignore her or get out of her known or unknown tight grip she seem to have on me,and how it feels like there an authority in whatever she says and i can't afford to disobey or anything.

It weird but some how if feels magical that one wort uttered from those lavishing mouth could have my whole day pleasant or ruined, the amount of power and ownership she has on me.

I can only but regret and wonder why I decided to give the keys to my heart her, and ask her to do with it whatever she pleases, and when I saw you throwing it in deep pit right in face, and I couldn't bring myself down to save it or pick it up before it finish falling, cos then I knew they already that they belonged to you.

I can't help but fall harder everyday, neither could the hurt help but grow deeper and bigger, at some point I wanted to give up, but she hunt my dreams, stalked my sleeplessness, screaming want, shouting needs, but I needed her more.

I was wondering that was so hard to see, it written everywhere on my stupid face, my smile, my eyes, my mouth, my body, but after a while i became unknown to Eva, my body became unfamiliar and unattractive, she became distant, cold, reckless, emotionless, unconcerned, and very very tricky, i find it confusing, belittling, suffocating, but then all I did was love her, I couldn't help that no matter what she did to me, it always effortless to get my forgiveness, but that  is never and has never been my intention but I can't help but melt in her presence, and I always wonder what this lady was capable of doing to me that would make me hate her, that would make me want to stay away from her and not want to have her around me, I personally provoked a reactions and all I ended up having was a serious heart ache and regrets for being so silly....  

  After realizing all my strategies and plan were proving abortive, I had to find another escape, I feel like she has me all wrapped and i can't even hide it from her anymore, I think i wear my love like a stupid cloth on my face.

It's so visible she's caught me staring more than a thousand times, and acted indifferent and even got really mad at me sometimes, the tantrums not to fuck me anymore after having four different occasions of unforgettable mind blowing intercourse.

She suddenly decided it was going too far and we needed to end it, I fucking know it's going far, i want to go far, I am ready to endure it all for her.

She knew I can because by then we've started overcoming so much together before realizing, I wondered, how I could have ever thought of using this lady to get back at char, how I could have ever thought of using this lady at all.

I got afore her so much I couldn't even imagine life without her beside me, I couldn't imagine me balling without her by my side.

I can't bring myself to imagine me sleeping without her by my side.

I got so addicted to the way she smells, the way she feels beside me, or behind me, the way she looks.

Life would be incomplete without her, and even if i couldn't tell her all this, with my mouth I made sure i show them clear in my eyes and I am made sure my actions speaks for the one it could speak for.

I carry her like an other part of me and if you look deep in my eyes, you would see her sitting pretty and smiling softly.

To me she was my thousand roses with different beautiful fragrance each day, and I felt the energy of love from her as well, she tries to push me away as much as she tries to keep me closer, i fought so much for us to be..

I told her I wasn't going to give up on her and I would keep chasing if that what's she wants but then, how much more can my fellow human heart take, how much more can I endure the pain of seeing her talk to someone else, smile for someone else, become excited for someone else.

I could take the fact that she is incapable of showing me how much i affect her hence making me feel like I was a fool, and our night of what I call remaking of sweet fantasy ment nothing..