An interesting story with a good plotline, though you could work on the connects, it would be better than this. The paragraphing and the time skips, if you fix that, your story would be perfect.
3 years ago
1
EddyTakaz
The storyline is captivating. The back and forth and varied perspectives makes it interesting. Definitely following along. Please do not pull your foot off the gas.
An interesting story with a good plotline, though you could work on the connects, it would be better than this. The paragraphing and the time skips, if you fix that, your story would be perfect.
The storyline is captivating. The back and forth and varied perspectives makes it interesting. Definitely following along. Please do not pull your foot off the gas.