Tear stained cheeks

Juan was shocked beyond belief, he kept squirming in his seat. How come he never notice him? How does he fail to notice Alex, when they go to the same school, even when they have the same classes?

The mere thought of breathing the same air as Alex made Juan tremble. This is funny, like how he can't understand himself. Like, how he can't seem to wrap his head around the emotion bubbling in his chest.

The moment the ring of the bell broke through the quiet air, Juan springs from the chair earning a questioning glance from Caleb. "Dude, where are you rushing to?"

"The bathroom" before Caleb could open his mouth to reply Juan was already halfway.

***

"I was asking why the fuck you run away from the classroom?" Caleb's voice pricked through the silent atmosphere of the library.

Juan can't help but scoff at his words "The fuck? first of all, I didn't run away, the class was already over! second of all, I rushed 'cause I need to fuckin' pee! I'm telling you this for like the 1000th time now!! what's wrong with you?"

Caleb's honey orbs burn holes in Juan's head across from the table as he leaned back on his chair, "you're not looking at me, though!"

well, he couldn't, he doesn't know how to lie when it comes to Caleb.

"you know what Caleb? it's not like I ran to the bathroom to pee, I just wanted to clear my head." Juan confessed as he looks Caleb in the eye.

"I knew you, Juan Will, now tell me what troubles you?" Caleb's questioning gaze wandered around his face, he watches the impartial expression Juan held.

"You know, The boy I met that night, He's Alex." Juan let his eyes wander on the booklet as if it were the most fascinating thing to look at. but Caleb knows him better than this, that he is avoiding eye contact.

"and what's up with that? you have already told me this didn't ya?" Caleb questioned, all bewildered by Juan's behavior.

"Well, and this Alex is from our maths class!!" Juan let out, nails digging into his palms.

"The Xavier?" eyes widening when he saw Juan nodding, Caleb let out a humorless laugh as he brushes back his blonde locks halting his vision.

"And you are in love with him? you gotta be kidding me! like you don't even know him!!" Caleb says with a huff, his grip hardening on the book.

"In love? when did I ever say something like that? I—you know what, I maybe had a crush, I just—I don't fucking know, man. I never felt something like this before, and I have only seen him once. now I feel like a joke." Juan buried his face in his hands, feeling suffocated.

Caleb's gaze softened at him, his hands reaching out to smooth at the dark curls of Juan. Juan's eyes dropped at the feeling of Caleb's fingers stringing through his hair.

"Hey, it's fine, I know you can't control what you are feeling," Caleb whispered leaning in to take Juan's face in his hands. "I'm sorry"

Juan's brown orbs gaze up at Caleb's own. "you should be."

Caleb lets out a small giggle while shaking his head. "You remember the day when a guy broke Hayden's nose on a match?" Hayden and Caleb had been together for 2 years now. the love they both share always mesmerized Juan.

"yeah?"

"Um, that's none other than this Xavier!" Caleb leaned back on the chair, running his fingers through his messy hair, giving it a better shape. "it's right that Alex apologized to My man a day after, and he has forgiven him. but I'm still not okay with what he had done to Hayden." Alex had come to Hayden a day after the incident. he had apologized and says he has been out of his mind and all. it was sincere and that's why Hayden had forgiven him that instant.

"you know, it was really hard for me to look at his face when he had a broken nose, it pains me, it broke my heart." Caleb finished with a dramatic sigh.

Juan can't suppress the tiny giggle that comes out of him.

"it's not funny!" Caleb whined.

"Well, you are funny!"

"Whatever, This guy has very terrible anger issues. I'm literally scared of him, you know?" Caleb muttered, "And the worst part is that he never gets punished for his awful actions. he always gets into fights and all, and-- well, I don't know, the management never dares to take action on him. he's a rich ass guy maybe that's why. what am I saying is that he is a very bad influence. There are so many rumors hanging above his head."

Juan didn't know why is this conversation making him so uncomfortable like he doesn't want to hear more. The Alex he knows is way too softer to do something like this. now he's confused but still can't seem to let go of the unknown sentiment inside his heart.

"Why don't we get going?" Juan asks, already standing up from the chair, picking up his bag and adjusting it on his shoulder.

"Sure"

Juan knows Caleb can read him like an open book, so without any further conversations, they walk to their next class.

***

"Hey, babe" Hayden greets softly as he wrapped his arms around Caleb's shoulder, pecking on the side of his head. "heyyy" Caleb redden in his arms. smiling bashfully.

"Don't you have practice, Hayden?" Juan asked while making his way out of his class to the couple standing in the hallway, sighing heavily.

"Hey to you too, no, I don't. so I'm going home with my love." Hayden announced, grinning ear to ear.

Juan shoots his famous shit-eating grin at them, receiving a kick from Caleb.

"Then, I'm leaving! see ya tomorrow, losers!" he sings after their little chatting session as he made his way out of the school to the parking lot to take his car (VAZ-2101) and finally leave for home.

Juan numbs in the place when his gaze lands on Alex. he was leaning on a car, maybe his car. but what made his heart stop and stomach churn was the way Alex's arms wrapped around the waist of a girl, jamming their body together. her lips on his as they kissed soundly, her slender fingers gripping tightly on his blonde locks. the movement of their lips never seems to stop just as Juan can't look away.

Juan felt like he couldn't breathe and that his legs would give out at any moment.

his heart stings, when Alex meets his gaze as he kisses the girl pressed to his body. his eyes widened when he took in Juan's frozen figure, but he kept kissing her, now a little bit more intensely. it's like he's eating her face up.

Juan felt ashamed for feeling like this, like how bad it hurts to see Alex kissing a person that was not him. he felt his vision being blurry as tears pricked in his eyes, he don't want Alex to see this and wonder what kind of weirdo is him. so he rushed to his car, getting in before slamming the door shut and driving off...

with a heavy heart and tear-stained cheeks.