"The Theory of the Death Drive I"

[Warning Mature Content]

Once the bright flash begins to dissipate and I am revived back to consciousness, my beautiful dream of having a happy life with Daniel is gone. I am back to the harsh reality of my past choices. Looking around, I can tell that I am inside of a holding cell or an interrogation room. There is bright light pointing right at my face to blind out everything else. I can only see the walls are a mute grey and is lighted with one of those annoying fluorescent lights that hum above.

I try to stand up to stretch my legs and I think to myself, "I knew that it was too good to be true. There was going to be no way that me and Daniel could've leave just like that." But I cannot get up, my wrists are bound to the chair with cuffs. It might be the drugs that they used on me, but I feel completely at ease, like I could just sit down and-

Wait... Wait... Wait... -as I look down at my hands, my belly is gone. My baby bump is gone... there's nothing there.

"What did you do to me! What did you do to him!", I begin to scream while shaking in my chair. I can't believe it; this is worse than waking up from a good dream. My child, my baby is gone! I scream louder as I violently shake in my chair, trying to break free from my restraints. But the fucking chair must be bolted to the goddamn floor!

"Get me out of this fucking chair! Get me out of this…", I screamed but the more I rocked and cry out, it begins to set in, I am not getting out here. It started with a single tear rolling down my face and then I begin to involuntary cry. My muscles begin to twitch from either the drugs or from the shock. My body ran cold from the amount of fear that I was experiencing.

I plead to whomever may be listening," Please get me out of this fucking chair! Get me out of this fucking chair!" The more I screamed the harder it got to focus on anything else beside the binds on my wrist and the fact that my body was mutilated. I take one more look down my stomach in disbelief, I cannot believe this has really happened to me -happened to my baby. My screams began to turn into a tired and quiet sob; there was no getting out.

"Please get me out of this chair… Please get me out of this chair….", I chanted. Then I just stopped, I was just wasting my energy. I just sat there crying to myself. I was thrown into the deepest pits of hopelessness, and I knew no one was going to come to my rescue.

Suddenly, the door that stood across from me slid open and two men enter the room. I couldn't see their faces when they first entered but once my eyes adjusted to the light, I could tell they were government agents. One was tall with a bald head and the other was short with a scar on his lip. They were wearing civilian clothing, white button shirts with ties. "What did you do to me?! What did you do to Daniel? My baby?!", I pleaded.

They both ignored me, and one walked behind me while the other sat down in front of me. "So, you're Selma Walsh, correct? Age 18, and married to a Daniel Walsh?", asked the man sitting down.

"Where's Daniel?!"

I feel something touch my shoulder and I jumped in my chair; it was the bald man behind me. The man sitting down never took his eyes off of me, he just stared directly at me and waited for an answer. He didn't even blink, he must've been spiked with one of the adrenaline shots I heard so much about.

"Yes, I'm Selma Walsh and I'm married to Daniel Walsh."

He gets a clip board from the man behind me and says, "Let me examine your life band." He aggressively grabs my left hand begins to inspect the tattoo on my finger, then he looks up at the second man and nods. He turned his attention back to me, in a jerky manner.

"So, when was the last time you saw Mr. Walsh?", the sitting man said.

"Last time I saw him?", I said out loud. I didn't know whether to tell him the truth or not. They might already have Daniel in custody and if I were to be caught in a lie, they might have to pick apart my brain. As I try to think of the right thing to say the government man just looked at me with this very intense stare that made me scared.

"The last time I saw him…", I said, "Was this morning before he went out for work. He never came back home after words though."

"That was Monday, September 27th, 1995, right?", he asks.

"Yes, I think so", I replied.

The Scar gave me a skeptical look and nodded to the man behind me. He looked back at me and said, "Mrs. Walsh, Did you know what your husband's activities were before you two married?"

"No... Why? Was he involved in some kind of bad business before?", I played dumb.

"You have no clue what kind of business he was up to before you two married? You expect me to believe that?", he said with a stern voice.

Still playing dumb, I said, "No, we never talked about that kind of stuff together, but I can tell you what he does now?"

The Scar quickly stands up and kicks over his chair in a rage. Then, suddenly, he hit me. He threw a nasty right hook and it honestly shocked me. Then the pain began to overcome my face as it started to swell from the blow. I've been hit before like that but his hit really fucking hurt.

"I need an answer Mrs. Walsh!", he demanded as he cocked his arm for another hit.

"I don't know what he was doing, I never asked-", I whimpered but before I can get the final words out of my mouth, the Scar had hit me again. This time it was a fast straight jab to my face, almost knocking my nose out of place. I feel my nose begin to bleed and I was terrified, he was going to continue hitting me until he heard an answer he liked.

"How do you expect us to believe that! We have voice recordings of both of you fuck heads talking about all matters of illegal business", yells out the Scar in agitation. All I can do is look up at him with my nose bleeding uncontrollably. "We heard you two talking about human trafficking and supporting the strays in the Remnant. We heard everything and know everything you are guilty of Mrs. Walsh!", he continued.

But how can that be? Me and Daniel made sure to take precautions before we ever had a conversation like that, especially Daniel. He would constantly tell me that it isn't something we should talk about considering that we no longer did that stuff. So, I knew what the Scar was talking about was pure bullshit. He was just trying to catch me admitting to something.

After him hitting me and his verbal abuse, I feel a sudden anger rush through me and I shout, "Me and Daniel aren't guilty of anything, we were just a normal American family until you fucking pigs took it away!"

I was quickly punished with another straight jab but this time to my eye.

Still feeling angry, I say, "What did you bastards do to my baby and Daniel?!"

I feel the second man's hand that was resting on my shoulder be raised and I feel the man's burly arms wrap around my neck.

"Let… I can't breathe…", I try to squeeze out as the man crushed my throat. I ball my hands in frustration, I feel both angry and afraid. I can feel the life being strangled out of me and what more, the Scar is starting to piss me off a lot more. He picks up his chair from the ground and sits back down on it.

"He'll let go as soon as you come clean", he says to me while looking directly into my eyes and not breaking contact.

I can feel the man's arms cling on tighter around my neck and I began to plead, "Please..." I began to see sparks fly around me as I began to lose consciousness and die of strangulation. I wasn't afraid of dying, I was more pissed off.