B-7. Davy Back Fight

Cinnamon Jungle; stadium (Play "Smells Like Teen Spirit" from Pan.)

The Marzipan Pirates quietly crept into a tunnel of the gigantic rock mass. The chants and roars were growing louder as they progressed. "Whaddyou think that is?" Rallo asked. "Some kinda ritual?"

"Maybe it's the arena that Veruca mentioned." Augustus said. "But who would set one up all the way out here? Who would come?"

Hello, hello, hello

How low?

Hello, hello, hello

HOW LOW?

"I think we're about to find out." Stewie said as they reached the tunnel's end.

Hundreds of thousands of seats were filled around the tremendous stadium. Their song echoed to the heavens and beyond. All of them were waving flags with Jolly Rogers: they were all pirates. There were demon pirates, robot pirates, human pirates, even the Kremlings.

With the LIGHTS out

IT'S LESS DANGEROUS

Here we are now

ENTERTAIN US!

I feel stupid

AND CONTAGIOUS

Here we are now

ENTERTAIN US!

When the first verse was repeating, the Marzipans stared with awe at the three gigantic ships hovering in the sky. There were four figures standing on platforms on the ships' sides: Cindy Cortix from the Boogey Pirates, the two Rusty Petes from the Slag Pirates, and a short old man with a white beard – Mr. Smee.

"And I forget… just WHY I taste." Lord Licorice fixed on his black and red armor, his hat, and loaded his shiny gun. "Oh yeah, I guess, it makes me smile." He sung quietly to himself as he marched up the wooden stairs. "I found it hard, it's hard to find. Oh well… whatever… never mind."

The "hello, hello" was repeating once more, and Licorice was mumbling as he walked up on the deck of the Boogey Bay. He passed a polite smile and nod to Captain Mandy, who stared with uninterest as she drank booze. Captain Slag, Captain Hook, and Baron K. Roolenstein were there as well, bowing their heads at Licorice briefly. The Candy Lord marched up more stairs and across a walkway with railing. He jumped, planted both feet on either railing, and raised his arms for all pirates to see.

With the LIGHTS out

IT'S LESS DANGEROUS

Here we are now

ENTERTAIN US!

I feel stupid

AND CONTAGIOUS

Here we are now

ENTERTAIN US!

The song stopped as all pirates roared, and Licorice stood back on the walkway. His voice was heard across the stadium. "Friends… I am Lord Tyrone Licorice. You know me very well… as the servant of the King of the World himself!"

"BOOOOOOOOOO!" The pirates were roaring in protest.

"BUT! …Unlike those law-abiding bigheads, you'll find that I'm a very kind sir indeed! I believe there is beauty in you pirates that the World Government does not see! Ay, it is because of those powder-wigs that you are not allowed to participate in Glitzville's games. But it is no worry, because my ancestors so GRACIOUSLY carved out this stadium for swashbucklers of every kind, to host the Davy Back Fight Brawl every YEAR!"

"YAAAAARRRRRRHHHH!"

"Lady and man pirates, we have a spectacular show planned for you! Sponsoring our event is none other than two, yes TWO, Pirate Emperors! First, meet the Empress of Fear herself, Captain of the Boogey Pirates, the Grim Stare Mandy!" Said empress gave a half-hearted wave before chugging another drink of rum, only to find her bottle was empty. "Unfortunately, our second Emperor, King Kroctus Rool, King of the Kremling Krew, chose not to be here in person. In his stead, his second brother, Baron K. Roolenstein. We also have the honor of being in the audience of two noble Pirate Lords! May I present Captain James Hook and Captain Romulus Slag!"

"Oh, the honor is my own, Master Licorice!" Captain Slag bowed. "One of me many pleasures in visiting this planet is ta bear witness to its quality entertainment! Plus, Ay could really use me a breather, considering all of the hard-drive-ache Ay've suffered these past months."

"I think we all need to relieve ourselves of pain." Licorice twisted his left mustache, grinning slyly. "I believe our fair Empress was humiliated before her crew by a young junior pirate. The 'Sunny-Fist' Sheila, according to His Majesty's records."

"I THREW the fight, mmmm," Mandy yelled drunkily, "BEEELCH, Lardrich!"

"Now, Captain Hook, I understand that you had a special prize you wished to wager in this contest?"

"I most certainly do!" The red-cladded captain marched up onto the walkway and raised his sword. "PIRATES! I, Captain James Hook, have invaded and traversed the Forest Planet, and discovered its Realm of Fairies! I struck the land when it was most vulnerable: three hours AFTER the Kids Next Door's defeat of Nature Goddess, Viridi! The fairies were helpless in repairing the forest of ruin, and the prize I took from them, I have been eagerly waiting to show somebody. Behold… the FAIRY PRINCESS! AISLING KELLS!"

On this cue, Mr. Smee scrambled to pull out and push a remote. A hatch opened from the bottom of the Jolly Roger, and from it, a net made of steel strings lowered. Augustus, the Deadly Babies, and all the pirates gazed with awe: there was a girl of ghostly white skin and hair, wearing only a gray dress. Her green eyes looked vicious as she tried to bite through the strings with sharp teeth.

"Yes, the Forest Fairy Princess, Aisling Kells!" Hook announced. "One of three Fairy Princesses described in an ancient Avalaran fairytale. The story reads that these fairies contain terrific amounts of magical energy. The Forest Fairy, in particular, possesses the power to grant and extend life, and stop death. Any pirate… would be a fool not to fight over her."

"YAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!" The stadium roared with cheers, as every crew craved the fairy's supposed power. Lord Licorice narrowed his eyes evilly as he studied the trapped fairy.

"Is that girl really a Fairy Princess?" Augustus asked.

"Don't be an eediot," Stewie said, "it's probably just a sham."

"Even if it is, they're still abusing the hell out of her for a profit. It's kinda sickening."

"Well, what the hell are you going to do about it, sign up for the competition?"

"Now, everyone!" Lord Licorice announced. "I have another treat for this tournament! As we all know, the notorious crew known as the Big Mom Pirates have been causing us grief for the past 20 years. Just days ago, the Pirate Empress herself has met an unfortunate end. And I, Lord Tyrone Licorice, have captured her grandson, and will force him to compete in the arena against his own will, so that you all may know sweet revenge! As soon as my associates arrive with him, they're certainly taking a while," he mumbled through gritted teeth, "we can get started with-"

His cellphone rang. "Excuse me a sec." Lord Licorice answered. "Ahh, Violet. You know, you're taking an awfully long time to bring him down, I wouldn't imagine… w-what?!" He looked at the Pirate Lords panickingly, then knelt down and whispered, "You've been looking all night and couldn't find him? Grrr- These people are expecting some revenge, so unless he turns up, one of you will have to dress up like him and-"

"HEY, STINKTEETH!" A Hispanic voice shouted across the stadium. Lord Licorice gasped and looked over the railing. Everyone's vision directed at one of many entrances. "YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE BIG MOMS, YOU CHOKE IT UP WITH ME!"

"AUGUSTUS, what the hell are you doing?!" Stewie shouted.

"AHA!" Licorice pointed giddily. "There he is, just like I said! Augustus von Fizzuras, the grandson of Big Mom, is here to fight in the competition!"

"Damn right I am!" Augustus yanked his lollipop out and threw it on the ground. "It's one thing to let a defenseless girl hang in a net like a manatee, but if people got problems with me, I wanna hear it up front before they cower inside a giant mountain like a bunch of wimps!"

"YER DAMN RIGHT we have problems with you!" a Hook Pirate shouted. "BIG MOM replaced me gums with GUM!"

"Fat Jack crushed me brother and got him reprogrammed to be a McDonald's security camera!" a Slag Pirate yelled.

"Th-Th-That Lala girl saw into my memory," a Kremling shuddered, "a-a-and reminded me of the petting zoo. S-S-So many kids and ice cream! . ."

"Those rotty Kids Next Door may've taken 'em all out," a Boogey Pirate aimed his sword, "but 'long as YOU'RE still around, we get a piece o' the cake, too!"

"YEEEAAAAH!"

"Fine, so my grandma and her crewmates beat the living snot and internal liquids out of all you." Augustus retorted. "Do you pirates have nothing better to do with yourselves than gang up on some kid who had nothing to DO with those things? I, for one, had different ideals that Big Mom didn't share. I THOUGHT she shared them, but she was a monster in the end. MY philosophy is about ADVENTURE. And if I'M the only pirate in this ring that GETS that, then I'll swab the deck with every one of you!"

"You think you know better than US, ye scurvy brat?!" Captain Hook aimed the prosthetic he was named after.

"I'm not the guy from a land that never grows up!"

"FRIENDS, we have a game!" Licorice announced. "All competitors, gear up for battle, because once I finish explaining the rules, it's anyone's game. The competing pirate crews have already submitted their wagered doubloons—or whatever currency your kind uses—into the stadium's moat, where it will flow out into the sea and to Davy Jones' Locker, so that the Cursed Captain himself may bear witness to these events. Any pirate crew who is to break the clear established rules of the contest will be sent to Davy Jones' Locker.

"Your crewmen will engage in a variety of contests. Only the crewmen chosen by their captains for the specific contest are allowed to compete. The pirate crew who comes in first for each contest is allowed to pick a member from the crew who comes in last. They may pick any crewmember, including the captain, and that person must switch their loyalties without quarrel." Licorice grinned devilishly. "Sadly, since I am not a pirate, I cannot pick nor be chosen. The victorious pirate crew may also choose to steal the losing crew's Jolly Roger. (Er, their pirate flag, not Hook's ship.) And speaking of Hook, we will consider Princess Aisling to be a member of his crew, therefore she may be won over in a contest. But since she is special, only the crew who wins first place in the end will be allowed to choose her.

"Now, it seems the Big Mom Pirates, however limited their numbers may be," Licorice grinned again, "are choosing to compete. We will see how long they last, but the first pirate crew to lay waste to Augustus von Fizzuras will score extra points for their crew. These are the rules, is everyone clear?"

"JUST A SECOND." Augustus yelled. "The Big Mom Pirates are NOT competing! We are the Marzipan Pirates, and the four founding members are your opponents!" Augustus threw five Chocolate Coins into the moat.

"HE MEANS US, TOO?!" The Deadly Babies panicked. ("Mw-mw!")

"Our mistake: The Marzipan Pirates will compete, and abide by our rules. Pirate crews, pick your member: the first match of the competition will be a dogfight. We will drop a bunch of scattered parts onto the field: you must construct a plane, go to the sky, and wait for your enemies to come up and dish away at you. You may not disrupt the other crewmen's construction, and you can only fight once you have craft in the sky. You have two minutes, so hurry up and choose!"

Augustus stomped forward, "A dogfight is my kinda game! I'm takin' this one, guys."

"Are you even listening to us?!" Stewie shouted. "We're going to get CREAMED in this fight! (And that was without trying to make a candy pun!) Why the hell do you care about some damn 'fairy'?!"

"It isn't just the fairy I wanna rescue." Augustus stated, starting a new lollipop. "If I'm serious about our pirate crew, we have to show all the others what we're made of. They're already talking down on us 'cause we're the washed-up Big Mom Pirates, so we have to show them we ain't tied to those bozos! Also, that fairy might be able to restore my Haki. But even if she can't, it wouldn't hurt to toughen you kids up, too."

"Competing in this tournament," Licorice announced, "our crews have chosen: from the Marzipan Pirates, Augustus Fizzuras! From the Slag Pirates, the Silver Bullet! From the Hook Pirates, Mr. Smee! From the Kremling Krew, Snide the Weasel! And from the Boogey Pirates, Aragon. Pilots: CONSTRUCT!" He shot the gun skyward.

The five chosen pirates claimed a pile of scrap and began to shuffle around for parts. "Let's see, rusty propeller," Augustus mumbled, tossing a piece aside, "made of wood, this engine doesn't look bad…"

"The Silver Bullet is ready and UP in the air!" Lord Licorice declared, startling Augustus into looking up. "Now he must wait for his opponents! Oh, did I mention that the first crew who finishes their craft can choose a member from the last crew who finishes? It's a double-contest, how fun!"

"Hurry and get up here, you Slowbros!" Silver Bullet yelled with a faulty voice program. He appeared to be a robot of shiny, silver metal, with a single glowing red eye.

"Damn, he's fast!" Augustus exclaimed. "I better hurry!"

Minutes had passed: Aragon, who was an Aeralfos, attached propellers to his wings, along with laser turrets, and took off next. Snide completed a hovercraft that was a man-size version of the Flying Krock. "YES!" Augustus created a cheaper version of the Ace Flyer and flew off, leaving Smee on the ground.

"SMEEEEEE! HURRY!" Captain Hook roared.

"I'm sorry, Captain! I'm missing one propeller blade!" Smee was hunched over and searching around the ground like a dog. "Oh, blast it, where is it?"

Captain Hook moaned, clearly seeing the blade in the back of Smee's pants.

"Sigh, that could've been bad." Augustus sighed in relief. "I better take out these guys before they- WHOA!" Lasers shot at his left wing, so he barrel-rolled away. "-cut off my sentence!"

"That's one new crewmate for the Slag Pirates!" the Silver Bullet declared, chasing Augustus. "And once you're gone, I'll be happy to claim your Jolly Roger."

Augustus dove downward while constantly barrel-rolling, then he flew back up to rapidly shoot the Bullet. The robot's superb plane withstood the attacks and kept flying forward, so Augustus dodged upward, then flew horizontal again. He saw Snide flying behind him, locking onto the shabby plane before launching two missiles. Augustus saw Aragon several meters away, and the Aeralfos retreated when the Marzipan gave chase. Aragon turned around to cough fireballs, but Augustus evaded. He stomped the gas pedal to catch up to, then zip past Aragon, and the missiles now locked on the demon. Aragon blasted his laser turrets to shoot the missiles down.

Augustus whipped the plane around to shoot at Aragon, destroying his left turret. The Silver Bullet began shooting at Augustus from the left, so the teen flew down and under the robotic pilot. He did a U-turn to get behind the robot, rapidly blasting laser bullets, but Silver Bullet switched on a bubble barrier to protect himself. "AUGH, you rusty smartass!"

"Thank you! I take pride in my intelligent rumpus." The robot remarked.

"Heh! That bubble won't be very convenient if you can't see through it." Augustus boosted forth and got above the hi-tech plane. He pushed a button that opened a hatch under his plane, dropping oil on the bubble. "What the-?!"

"Say ¡Enciéndelos!" Augustus slowed down, blasted the oil, and set the bubble aflame.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Sorry, Bullet, but I'm taking from YOUR crew-"

The bottom of Augustus's plane was rammed by another at whipping speed. He hacked out his lollipop as his plane fell to pieces. As he fell, he looked at his assaulter. "SMEEEEEE!" Captain Hook jumped with joy. "WELL done!"

"I knew my lucky fan blade would come in handy!" Smee said.

Stewie Griffin rushed onto the field and blasted his anti-gravity gun to break Augustus's fall, setting him gently on the ground. "Augustus, are you okay?" Stewie asked.

"Yeah…" He scratched his head. "Talk about a cheap shot."

"This means they gonna take one of us, don't it?!" Rallo exclaimed.

"Afraid so… We might as well watch the rest of the show."

The four remaining pirates continued to battle. Smee was wiped out by Aragon, Snide was defeated by the Silver Bullet, and he was shot down by Aragon. "The winner of the dogfight is ARAGON of the BOOGEY PIRATES! And since the Marzipan Pirates were shot down first, Captain Mandy may take a member from their cr-"

"HOLD UP." Mandy spoke up. "Why would I wanna take a member from that petty little crew? I'd sooner take somebody who's more worth my time. I choose to take from the Kremling Krew… K. LUMSY!"

"Are you DAFT?!" K. Roolenstein exclaimed. "That is a violation of the rules! You were only supposed to take from the last-place crew, not-"

Mandy shot a Scare Stare at the Kremling. "The Grim Reaper fears my gaze! Am I to be afraid of Davy Jones?"

"Gulp!" The Kremling's spine tingled. "K-K. Lumsy! Over heeeere!"

The stadium began to shake under the rhythm of footsteps. Everybody looked to the north side of the stadium as two massive green claws gripped the roof. A Kremling of incredible size, with a large yellow belly, emerged. "Uuuurr… do you want meeee?"

"Guess what, you oversized reptilian: you're now a member of the Boogey Pirates!" Mandy shouted. "You will abandon your allegiance to the Kremlings and swear loyalty to me!"

"Why do you even want him?" Baron asked. "Despite his colossal size, he hasn't the guts to dismember a fly!"

"Fear can do a lot of things to a mortal."

"And since the Slag Pirates completed their craft first," Licorice reminded, "they may take a member from the Hook Pirates."

"Marvelous!" Slag beamed. "Which member of yer crew can play the accordion?"

"I can!" a random pirate from the audience yelled.

"Ay will take him!"

"Phew… we got lucky there." Augustus sighed.

"Mw-mw?! Mw-mw-mw-mw-mw-mw-mw-mw-mw-mw!!" Maggie flailed her arms in anger. ("Lucky?! You'll be lucky if they don't order me to shoot you if they win me over!")

"Don't worry, Maggie, I'm working on a plan. Even if we don't score 1st place, we might still be able to save the fairy and get outta here. For now, you'll all have to pull your weight in this thing."

"That's not what she said, but, we'll let you believe that." Stewie replied.

"Our next bout is what I call the Search and Shoot!" Lord Licorice began. "We will shroud the ring in darkness while your choice crewmen wander a maze and shoot the others with classic laser lights! However, our fair audience will be able to monitor your actions via the TV screens, from the perspective of Nightvision cameras. If a player is shot three times, they lose. Keep in mind that you are not allowed to shoot your opponents with REAL guns, or you will be disqualified. Choose your pirates and we will begin!"

"Maggie, it's up to you!" Augustus told the youngest baby. "You were Big Mom's best sniper, so it's time to remind 'em that!"

"Mw-mw-mw-mw!" Maggie flailed her arms and pointed at her eyes.

"She said her vision is still weak, and I left her goggles on the plane!" Stewie shouted.

"Ugh- Well, how weak is it still, can't you try?"

"Mw-mw…" Maggie tried to Zoom in to the distant audience, but her eye twitched with soreness, so she retracted her vision.

"Sigh, well you're going to have to tough it out. I have a plan…"

"The five crews have chosen their players!" Licorice announced once more. "But I will not announce them for the sake of secrecy. Please, enter the tent!" The chosen contestants entered a huge dark tent that lowered over the field. A maze had also risen from the floor, and it was nearly pitch-black inside. Maggie noticed the glow coming from the Nightvision cameras. "Shooters… hunt!"

Maggie clutched her laser gun tight and moved about the maze carefully. "It's all up to you, Maggie." Augustus's words rang in her mind. "Not only do you gotta win, you have to find the Boogey Pirate member and take him out first. I know you can do it, Mags. You were the most feared sniper on the Seven Seas, so it's time to prove it."

He was right… Maggie was the greatest sniper in the Big Mom Pirates. Her name was known across the sea, she was feared by all. She killed Charles Burns, one of the Corporate Presidents. Even though she was a child, she earned a bounty of $56,000 (as well as the equivalents in all respective countries). She had to follow her captain's plan… only she could-

"The contestant of the Slag Pirates, Killbot 4625, is the first to fall! That means whoever wins may claim from their crew."

"Defeated by Army Dillo, no less." Baron K. Rool stroked his own chin. "As an animal, his senses are heightened, and we have trained him to recognize any scent. The exhaust from robots, the rum-soaked breath of a swabbie, the Hell-rotten stench from demons, or even an infant's baby powder. As our top gunman, no prey escapes his nose!"

"Darn it!" Augustus stomped his foot. "Just focus on winning, Maggie!!"

Hearing his voice, Maggie flinched and whipped out her real gun. She began shooting the tent's ceiling rapidly, poking holes everywhere. "Red flag! RED FLAG!" Captain Hook cried. "She's not supposed to USE a real gun!"

"OBJECTION!" Augustus yelled up at him. "The contestants aren't allowed to shoot their OPPONENTS with real guns! Didn't say they couldn't bring them in for other uses!"

"Captain Fizzuras makes a fair point!" Licorice agreed. "Miss Maggie did not strike her enemies with her bullets. But I see little purpose in making the maze slightly brighter."

"It isn't just brighter." Augustus smirked. "Come on, Mags, you can do it."

Maggie withstood the soreness and used her Zoom-Zoom power to zero in on the tent's holes. She eventually found some that gave her a good view of the large TVs, showing her the positions of enemy snipers. A Bulblin Archer, who was likely the Boogey Pirate, was about to catch her from around the corner, so Maggie swiftly ducked behind a nearby rock. Maggie drew out one of her other guns to shoot floating mirrors, creating a path to the Bulblin so she could shoot her laser three times, reflect around the mirrors, and defeat him.

"The Boogey Pirate contestant, Bobbleton, is defeated! What a clever means of working around the rules!"

"Yes!" Augustus fist-pumped. "Too bad we didn't get him first, but at least now they won't get as many points."

Just then, Maggie was hit by a laser from behind, so she quickly dodged behind the rock, then bolted when the Army Dillo was coming. "Wyee hah hah hah!" The armadillo laughed. "You all thought I was killed when I got struck by lightning in the ocean! …Actually, I was, but I was revived by Ganondorf's dumping of the Sanzu River! I won't be made a fool of again!" Using his real bullets, Army shot down Maggie's floating mirrors and began sniffing along the ground for her.

Maggie shot more mirrors into the air, and kept track of Army by where his bullets came from. Maggie didn't bother to stop and look through the tent holes, instead she kept maneuvering around the maze. After turning a corner, she saw the Hook Pirates' marksman across a path, dodging his lasers to go down a right path. The pirate attempted to chase the baby, but Army Dillo caught up to where they were, and Maggie heard him successfully land a hit on the Hook Pirate. The two were in a shooting squabble, during which Army was hit, so Maggie made her way around the maze to get behind them.

She followed a good path using her mirrors, and got behind Army before landing a harmless laser blow. The Hook marksman got away, so Army whipped around to chase Maggie. The child unfortunately got to a dead end, and Army snickered once he had her cornered. Maggie evasively dodged his lasers left and right, then shot a mirror into the air. The same time Army successfully hit Maggie, the girl bounced her own laser off the mirror to hit Army. "Army Dillo of the Kremling Krew is out! Now it's down to these two crews."

"SHE'S OVER HERE!" Army Dillo yelled before leaving the maze. Maggie glared with anger, running around the maze before she and the Hook marksman cornered each other. He was a tall and skinny pirate with a five-o'clock shadow and blue-and-white-striped shirt. He nimbly dodged Maggie's lasers before he struck the baby with his own. "THE WINNERS ARE THE HOOK PIRATES! And since the Slag Pirates lost first, they may take a member from their crew."

"I'll just be taking my accordion player back, Slag Old Boy." Captain Hook told the robot captain.

"Do you even know what my name is?" the audience pirate yelled.

"SILENCE!"

"Our next contest will be the Dread Race!" Lord Licorice announced. "Captain Slag took the courtesy of setting up this lovely Gravity Track, and programmed this set of karts to roll up it freely. Choose the most fitting pirate for the job, and let them choose a kart. The other crewmen cannot interfere with the race, but the competing pirates can use whatever means necessary to win. The first place pirate crew can choose a member from last place. You will have five minutes to pick a kart!"

"Hokay." Augustus clapped hands. "Which one o' you is great at racing games?"

"Oo-oo!" Rallo jumped, raising his hand. "I am! I want that car that looks like a boombox!" He pointed to a kart that was designed like a large boombox, with a stereo on the front and back.

The Marzipans went over to observe its controls. "Wow, it is like a boombox." Stewie said. "But how can you tell what the buttons do?"

"Easy! Turnin' up the volume speeds you up, turnin' it down is brakes, and flippin' up and down channels turns you left or right."

"You would know better than us, Monty." Augustus said. "You're up."

"Please don't refer me by that name again."

"Our crews have chosen! From the Marzipan Pirates, Rallo Tubbs, on the Boomboxer! From the Boogey Pirates, Skeeter the Bomskit, on the Treadmill Trekker! From the Kremling Krew, Kass, on the Rocket Barrel! From the Hook Pirates, Sir Big-Legs-and-Small-Body Samuel, on the Convenient-Bike-To-Match-Such-Traits! And lastly, from the Slag Pirates, Hyrule Rusty Pete on the Lever Device!"

"Knock 'em dead, Hyrule Pete!" Termina Pete yelled.

"Ay sure will, Termina Pete (hiccup)!"

"Racers, at the ready!" The five pirates were parked at the starting line, their engines revving. Skeeter's kart was designed like a treadmill, and would move as the speedy demon ran across it. Rusty Pete's kart was like that of a minecart that goes as you move the lever up and down. Sir Big-Legs rode a very tall bicycle, where the pedals were low enough for his long legs to reach. "On your marks! Geeeeet set… You want me to say the 'G' word, don't you? But how long will I make you-"

"JUST GO, YOU IDIOTS!" Mandy shouted.

Licorice shot his gun, and the pirates boosted—with the exception of Rallo, who was otherwise in the middle of the racers. Almost instinctively, the other racers forced their cars into a center, having intended to crush the 5-year-old. "WHOA! Good thinking, Tubbs!" Augustus praised. "But get going, they won't wanna fight each other for long!"

"You got it!" Rallo began to race up a track that went up like a wall, for his kart's wheels were programmed to meld with the altered gravity. The track would go up a loop-di-loop high above the stadium, then would lead over the stadium's roof and out into the jungle. When he rammed through some ? Blocks at the loop's top, his item select landed on Place Swap, which were a green and red arrow making a circle. "I ain't ever see this in Mario Kart. I wonder what it does?" Rallo pushed the activate button, and the icon was launched along the track, spinning and glowing. It missed Rusty Pete in 4th place and caught Kass, who was in 3rd place. Rallo found the icon appeared around him, and he and Kass switched positions.

"BOO YEAH!" Rallo cheered. "Now I just- wh-whoa, WHOOOA!" Since he was now in Cinnamon Jungle, he accidentally rammed the spiked stalk of an outstretched Apple Piranha. Rusty Pete got past him, so Rallo quickly backed up with the Rewind button and got around the Piranha Plant. Rallo drove through more jungle before going up a left vertical gravity track over a cinnamon creek. Kass caught up and shoved Rallo from the right, forcing him to go a left path with several upcoming gaps. "OH, CRAP! Wait! What if I plug this into MY boombox?" Rallo grabbed the plugs in the cockpit and stuck them in the sockets in the back of his afro. He was able to channel his musicbending through and make the car bounce via his booms.

He managed to jump the gaps and go across a series of Boost Pads, which sent him up a ramp as his kart's glider activated. He soared ahead of Kass and Pete, and nabbed a single ? Block before the ramp. He landed on a Power Star and became invincible, driving through the field of Apple Piranhas without trouble. He was catching up to Sir Big-Legs and knocked him aside, claiming 2nd place, but Skeeter was still keeping ahead. Rallo's Star Power wore off by the time the gravity track led them up and around the huge stadium's side. Skeeter had three banana peels in his reserve, so he dropped them on the track and caused Rallo to hit one, making his Boomboxer spin out of control before hitting the side. Big-Legs zipped past him, dropping a Bob-omb that Rallo didn't notice before crashing into it.

Kass got past him, so Rallo got back on track and kept moving before Pete could do the same. The track led back into the stadium, going down a slope before crossing the finish line – completing the first lap. They went up the vertical track to the loop-di-loop again, and when Big-Legs (now in 3rd place) got three Red Shells, he sent them all back to hit Rallo, who narrowly dodged, so Pete got hit instead. "I say, isn't that turtle abuse?" he asked.

"I would say so!" Termina Pete yelled.

Rallo hit the ? Blocks and landed on Blooper, so he sent the aerial squid out to ink all the other racers. Big-Legs lost traction and drove into the cinnamon creek, letting Rallo get past and go up the gravity track over said creek. He chose to take the left shortcut again, using his boombox to bounce the gaps, but it seemed Skeeter took this route, too. The Bomskit purposely slowed down, then grabbed the ? Block before going up the glider ramp, so that the block didn't respawn in time before Rallo could get it. They soared across the cinnamon swamp, and Rallo remained in 2nd place as he chased Skeeter through the Piranha Plant garden. He gasped and dodged left when a piranha almost bit him, going up the gravity track around the stadium.

"WAAAAH!" Rallo was blown aside by a huge Bullet Bill – which was actually Rusty Pete's kart, transformed after collecting said item from a ? Block. It wore off before Skeeter could be hit, and Rallo finished the 2nd lap in 3rd place. Their karts flew up the loop-di-loop, and Rallo collected a ? Block that landed on three Red Shells. He blasted at Rusty Pete and got past him, then quickly blasted forward to hit Skeeter. The Bomskit withstood each shot with three Green Shells, and as Rallo chased him across the shortcut path, he growled with rage when the monster claimed the ? Block first.

"WHOA!" Lightning struck the racers, cast by 5th place Kass, shrinking all except her. Since Rallo was going up the glider ramp at the time, his glider didn't activate and he fell onto the normal track. However, Skeeter, who was already flying over the swamp, ended up falling in and trapped. "RALLO, musicbending gets rid of ailments!" Augustus yelled.

Rallo quickly blasted music and stretched himself to normal. He kept racing, and made it to first place. He didn't hesitate or look back as he maneuvered the Apple Piranha garden, and when he made it up and around the stadium path, it looked like first place belonged to him. "Ladies and gentlemen, Montclair Tubbs is goin' for the goal!" Rallo announced as he zeroed in on the finish. "He kicks the ball, and…!"

Skeeter blasted past him with Star Power he had conveniently collected in the swamp, along with a Gold Shroom in the piranha garden. "NOOOO!" Augustus and the babies screamed. Rallo regained himself and crossed the finish, still winning 2nd place.

"THE BOOGEY PIRATES WIN AGAIN!" Licorice announced with apparent delight. "Since Sir Big-Legs didn't move his legs fast enough, Captain Mandy may take from Hook's crew."

"The Fairy Princess is MINE, you Han Solo wannabe!" Mandy pointed at Hook.

"I told you never to mention that topic to me." Hook stated through gritted teeth. "And you can't claim her unless you've won the whole thing!"

"Very well." Mandy marched up to Lord Licorice and took his mike. "LISTEN UP, you sweaty post-college frat boys: the Fairy Princess is hereby reserved to me, myself, and I! Should any of you be lucky enough to come in first place, I will challenge your entire crew myself. To the victor will go the spoils. Do we have an understanding?"

"AAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHH!"

"'Arrrrrrr' yourself."

"Yes, well, thank you for making that point, Miss Mandy." Licorice took his mike back. "Which brings us to our next challenge: the Combat Brawl. Simply beat up your opponents with good old martial arts. Your other crewmen may not aid you. Crews, choose your strongest combatants, and we will begin."

"Well, we're boned." Stewie slumped in defeat. "Unless you truly expect to pull your Haki back out of your arse again."

"Not quite yet, Stew." Augustus started a new lollipop. "I'm pickin' you for this one."

"What- Me?! How do you expect ME to do this?"

"Don't you still have your Devil Fruit powers?"

"Well, I…I haven't really tried since that battle. But I can't unless I become angry."

"You were angry at me for signing us up for this, right?"

"That isn't the point!"

"Stewie, just go for it! And make sure you take out the Mandy Crew's guy out first, you got it?"

"Ugh. This is becoming rinse and repeat. Very well… I'll give it my all."

"From the Boogey Pirates," Licorice began, "they have chosen their newest member, K. Lumsy! From the Slag Pirates, Sprocket! From the Kremling Krew, their Division Commander, Lord Fredrik! From the Hook Pirates, Popeye! And the Marzipans have gladly offered up… Stewie Griffin?!"

Indeed, the football-headed baby looked very small compared to all those muscular combatants. Popeye was a sailor with a pipe in his mouth, and the ends of his arms were larger than his skinnier base ends. Lord Fredrik was a very large walrus with a Viking helmet, and his eyes were monstrous. Sprocket was a large robot with an oven for a stomach, but the biggest brute there was definitely K. Lumsy.

"But New Captain Mandy, I don't wanda fight." The giant Kremling said in a simple-minded tone. "Dat baby and dat walrus and dat guy who looks like a doll are cuuuute."

"Awwwe… I'm sorry, Klumsy." Mandy spoke with a warm, loving voice, getting level with K. Lumsy's head using a floating boat. "Was my order not clear?" She gently patted Klumsy's head. He glanced at the smaller woman, tears dripping from his eyes. "Perhaps you need to… look me in the EYE!" Her dark eyes shone with fear.

"BOOOUUUUURRRR!" That one little glance threw the giant crocodile into nightmares.

K. Lumsy was chained to the ground by human people, who were whipping him and cutting him with swords. All the giant croc did was cry, his moans echoed as he begged for mercy, but they passed it off as 'crocodile tears' and continued to torture. Then the K. Rool Brothers marched into town, Kaptain Kruckers shot all the people to death. Kroctus cut the chains binding the giant. "You are a perfect specimen for the Kremling Krew. Come with me, and we will put your strength to good use."

Then, Kroctus ordered him to squish an island full of monkeys. Those monkeys were so cute, K. Lumsy couldn't bear to do it… but then, the giant found the remains of dead Kongs squished under his feet. He had crushed the entire jungle into ruin. No matter what he tried to do, he was a giant, and a monster.

"OOOOUUUURRRR!" The fear drove K. Lumsy mad, the giant Kremling charged into the field and stomped his foot down on Lord Fredrik. The Snowmad Boss kept his foot up with his great strength and pushed the giant away. Popeye pulled out some spinach and chucked it in his mouth: his arms puffed bigger as he ran at Sprocket to throw punches, and the larger robot countered with equal strength.

"Stewie, hurry up and go Hulk!" Augustus yelled.

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Stewie yelled, trying to channel his frustration. "Nnnnnnngggh!" The baby succeeded in puffing his right arm, albeit still peach-colored, and threw a punch at an incoming Lord Fredrik. K. Lumsy roared as he charged to Sprocket and Popeye, swinging his tail to knock them away. Stewie pushed the ground with his huge arm and bounced over, grabbing onto Klumsy's right ankle. "RRRRRRRR!" The giant angrily shook his leg and flung Stewie away, then made a great leap to flatten the infant under his behind.

"Cough, uah!" Stewie coughed after Klumsy got off. "That's worse than my father!"

"Come on, Stewie!" Augustus cheered. "Remember all that oppression you had to endure in your family! Your dad comin' in drunk and passing out in your bedroom, your mom ignoring your intelligence, your sister using your hands as floss, and not to mention that dog stealing the script you wrote! Big Mom knew you were the perfect body for the Hulk-Hulk Fruit, and that was why! The most misunderstood person in his family needs to unleash his anger!"

"Grrrrr!" Stewie tried to channel more anger, but only his left leg grew to Hulk size. He began to walk with his right arm and left leg, grabbing Sprocket and throwing him at Fredrik, but Popeye leapt and punched the baby to the ground.

"Oh for GOD'S sake, Stewie!" his captain yelled again. "You have a DOLL of Popeye! Just pretend he's that doll and kick him-"

"Nngh, will you JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN CONCENTRATE!" Stewie's eyes flashed yellow, and within seconds, he had morphed into his full Hulk form. K. Lumsy grabbed the monster and punched him with his other hand before throwing Stewie on the ground. K. Lumsy fell forward to crush the Hulk, but Stewie lifted him up by the belly and twirled the giant around. He tossed Klumsy to push Sprocket and Fredrik away, then grabbed the giant by the tail before swinging him around to knock down his opponents.

Stewie hurled K. Lumsy straight at the Jolly Roger, destroying a huge chunk of the ship. K. Lumsy crashed back on the stadium floor, and everyone looked as the net holding Princess Aisling was dangling by its metal rope. "Stewie, now's your chance!" Augustus said eagerly. "Go for it!"

The infuriated Hulk spared a glance at the teenage captain, then looked up at the dangling metal net. Stewie squatted, and used the strength of his Hulk legs to make the incredible leap to the ship that was 40 meters in the air. Aisling gasped and backed away when the monster grabbed hold of her net. Stewie roared loudly as he began shaking and tugging the net. Inevitably, the device that was holding the net came off, and they both plummeted to the stadium floor. However, they landed on Klumsy's large belly, and the giant released a large "HACK!"

All of the pirates roared with protest when Stewie forced the top of the net open, reached inside, and grabbed the ghostly-white fairy forcefully. The other three combatants were charging to attack him, so Stewie leapt, squished Popeye to the ground, used his free hand to grab Fredrik's head, then shoved him into Sprocket's oven chest. The walrus screamed with his head on fire, laying a furious beatdown on the robot once he was out. With another amazing leap, Stewie went over the stadium's roof and escaped into the jungle with Aisling in his arm.

"AFTER THEM!" Lord Licorice pointed furiously in Stewie's direction. "Send all available crewmen to catch that monster and BRING BACK the fairy! And send some people to apprehend the Marzipan Pirates for…" He looked down at the field. "What? Where are they?!"

Augustus, Rallo, and Maggie seized the chance to run up to the defeated K. Lumsy. "Psst, hey Klumsy! Can you hear me?"

"Sniff… nooooo!" The giant Kremling was crying. A puddle of tears had already formed around his head. "I don't wanda fight anymore! I wanda run away! I wanda run where no one will find me! Where no oned will be mean to me!"

"Well, not to sound self-centered, but we're kind of in the same boat as you." Augustus was telling him rushedly. "Our pirate crew is really tiny, but all these guys have been doing is ganging up on us! Help us escape, and you can join our crew!"

"No!" K. Lumsy shook his arms and legs like a baby. "I don't wanda! You gonna make me fight! Dat's what K. Rool bade me do! Dat's what New Captain Mandy bade me do! Don't bake be fight, too!"

"I won't make you fight, I promise! Just get us outta here, you're the only chance we got at escape!"

"There they are, let's get 'em!" A swarm of Slag and Hook Pirates were entering the ring.

K. Lumsy sniffled. "You won't bake be fight?"

"No, I won't bake bou fight- I bean, make you- JUST HELP US, PLEASE!"

"Mw-mw!" Maggie whipped out her guns to shoot the Hook Pirates while Rallo shot sonic waves at the Slag Pirates. Unfortunately, some of the pirates got through and grabbed hold of the helpless children.

K. Lumsy's eyes widened at the cruel pirates' actions (upside-down in his position). "LEAVE DOSE KIDS ALONE!" The giant Kremling jumped to his feet and reached down to grab the two babies. Afterwards, he grabbed Augustus and rushed to one of the stadium's corners. The audience members screamed and cowered away when K. Lumsy climbed over them, then leapt over the roof to run across the jungle.

"This Davy Back Fight is suspended!" Lord Licorice announced. "All pirates are ordered to return to their ships and pursue the traitors! Take back the Fairy Princess at all costs!"

"A WORD about that, if you will." Mandy grabbed Licorice's arm and dragged him down into her ship.

"AAAH!" Lord Licorice was thrown into Mandy's cabin. The woman shut the door as she entered. "What are you getting angry at me for?! I didn't order them to take her!"

"But it was YOUR idea to capture Augustus and force him to compete! You said your plan to walk out of here with the fairy was foolproof."

"With YOU in these games, how couldn't it have been foolproof?! I let you be the scary, intimidating empress you are and ignore the technical rules so you could win the Fairy Princess. But I still had to make myself look good in front of these salty demons by bringing the grandson of the most despised pirate; not to mention, Mr. Augustus is still wanted by the Government. Perhaps if YOU hadn't taken K. Klutzy and ordered him to fight, they wouldn't have gotten away! I mean, sure we couldn't have anticipated that Unbelievable Hulk trick, but even less reason I shouldn't-"

Mandy kicked the Candy Lord in the face and knocked him against her throne. "You know what happens if you say 'couldn't', 'wouldn't', or 'shouldn't' to me. Our deal was that you would help me take the Fairy Princess from Hook's crew, and I would lend my demons to you to find and destroy the Lost Candies. Unless you would rather hunt for and destroy them yourself."

"And I would just love to do that, if half of those candies weren't so well-protected! His Majesty has tasked me with nothing more than to destroy those atrocities, but my candy-based resources are, shall we say… lacking in power. But I wouldn't like His Majesty to know that. Just help me out, keep it a secret that I'm working with pirates, and no one else has to know you have the Fairy Princess. Besides, it's not like we weren't going to pursue and burn any crew that tried to steal her, don't you agree?"

"Sigh… very well. But your story about the princess better have meaning behind it. Or you'll regret it." Mandy left the cabin on that note.

Lord Licorice helped himself up, fixed his hat, and straightened his bowtie. His eyes were shadowed under his hat. Working with pirates… the very idea is disgraceful. Just like when Big Brother John chose to leave the family and go pirating. Sure, I'm posing as their friend now… but I'll have them dealt with soon enough.

Enclosed bay; two hours later…

The four pirate crews followed the trail of smashed trees to a cliffside looking over a large bay. There was no other sign as to where the giant Kremling could have gone. Dark gray clouds were appearing in the sky, and the heavy wind told them it would rain. "HUUUFF!" Mr. Smee emerged from the sea below. "I'm sorry, Cap'n, but the sea is too murky! I can't see them anywhere."

"Ohgh… Climb back up the ladder, Mr. Smee." Captain Hook sighed. "It's obvious that those scurvy brats have swum away with that overgrown reptile. We'll never be able to find them in the storm. Let's all hurry back and fix the Jolly Roger. Slag, you better call your men back, too."

"Arrrr… he be right, old Hooky." Slag sighed. "Mates, let's go! Or we will rust."

"Pardon me, Captain," the Silver Bullet spoke, "but normally, crocodiles cannot swim very well in the ocean. And I highly doubt a reptile of his stature would get very far, let alone in this type of weather. They could still be in the bay. I could send my aqua drones to track them down."

"Could ye now? Orright, then… Ay'll leave it to you. But return to base when yer done." Slag and his two Petes marched away.

The Silver Bullet grabbed his head and pulled it off… Underneath her helmet, she was a mouse girl with purple fur, who shook her long orange hair free. "Man, that thing is stuffy. Hokay then, time to find us some runaways…"

Seaside cave

After diving into the ocean, K. Lumsy swam around the bay and into a large cave. He climbed onto a shore and hacked the four Marzipans, plus Princess Aisling, out of his mouth. "Hooff, hoof…" The giant Kremling sat in the back of the cave to catch his breath. "I storry, guys. I didn't know what to do…"

"Cough… It's okay, big guy." Augustus gasped. "At least we got away from them. …" He looked at Princess Aisling, whose white hair was wet with saliva, drooping over her face. When she sat up, Augustus gently moved her hair away to see her young, pretty face. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?!" Aisling smacked his hands away and stood up angrily. "I have been trapped in that smelly old ship for almost seven, months. Then this large brute of a mutant baby takes me away, and now I was chucked into the mouth of a similar creature. Of course I am not okay." She folded her arms and turned away. "In fact, I have never been disrespected in such a manner for all my life. You're lucky I had the right state of mind to calm your friend down."

"Huff…huff…" Stewie was panting on the ground, his clothes ripped from using his Hulk form.

"I could feel that child's pain inside his heart. Perhaps he was suffering in that form. It must be hazardous for him."

"Um… Thanks." Augustus said. "So, Fairy Princess… are you really a-"

"Yes, I am really the Forest Fairy Princess. You may call me Aisling. And I assume you wanted me for the same purpose as those other brutes." She whipped around and shot her face into his, startling the teen boy. "Well, let me tell you." She was glaring scoldingly. "My lifebending powers are unavailable at the moment. I have transferred the extent of my powers to somebody else." She folded arms and turned away in a smug fashion. "You wasted your time."

Augustus shook his head, "Er- Wait a second… does that mean you couldn't restore my Haki?"

"HAKI?" Aisling shot back in his face again with a sarcastic shocked look. "Why would I be able to give you HAKI? Haki is something you learn, and no magic can make you master of something so wondrous as a martial art."

"But I already WAS a master of Haki! I just lost it because of the Candy Virus!"

"Oh, yes, the infamous virus that plagued that dreadful Linlin Family. I've never seen anything so disgusting and unnatural. Even worse when I tried to study it. But your situation makes sense, because you still have fragments of the virus inside you."

"Wait, I do?!"

"Of course you do. It's not enough to cause too much damage, though. But don't expect me to get it out for you. Such unnatural poison is beyond my power."

"Oh…" Augustus looked away. Maybe I can find that girl again to get it out of me. But I'm not sure where she lives…

"But I guess I do owe you for saving me." Aisling said. "So I will tell you who could remove it for you."

"You could? Who?"

Aisling stood on her tippy-toes to get up in his face with wide eyes. "The Princess of Sugar Fairies."

". . . Why do you do that?"

"It's better than what you do." She backed away.

"But, Sugar Fairies… don't those things hang out in the Cotton Clouds?"

"Well, they're actually pretty sociable, especially in candy places. But I bet you don't know where their homeland is."

"Actually, I do." Augustus began a new lollipop. "I'm just not sure how to find it."

"Then I will help you. But we won't be able to escape if those monsters are out there."

"So, what's your idea?"

Aisling tapped her chin in thought. She looked up at K. Lumsy, who had his arms wrapped around his legs. "I believe this creature can make do."

Facilier's Voodoo Emporium

"Here, Gerald, this Hair-Strengthener should do the trick!" Facilier said as he tossed a small spray bottle to one of his customers. His shop was overcrowded with excited kids. "Even a lightsaber couldn't cut it! Jennifer, this Portable Portal Pill can let you eat a ocean of sugar puffs, you won't gain a shred of weight! Wears off after a day, so watch out. Come on, kids, one at a time, take it easy!"

After everyone else had finally gone, the brown-haired girl with a gray jacket, Samantha, walked in. "Hey, Mr. Facilier. Did I come at a bad time?"

"Eh, I've had busier days." he said coolly, straightening his hat back on. "'Course, you wouldn't know about a renegade witch fairy who goes around planting curses."

"Uhhh… I guess not." She blushed confusedly. "So, anyway, you remember when I said my brother's in the KND? Well, he told me that the KND is actually leaderless… Like, he never mentioned it before, and now he's really worried about it… So, he's wondering what happened to the last leader. Do you think your… crystal ball could show me?"

"That's a bit much for the crystal ball, considering you aren't affiliated with them. Perhaps the spirits may tell me something. Give me a sec." Facilier closed his eyes and touched fingers to his forehead.

Under the table, his shadow was looking at a 4x4 laptop, checking the KND's files. After viewing information about some guy named 'Cheren', Shadow spoke telepathically to his master. Samantha could read the confused looks Facilier was making, as if someone invisible was talking to him. He opened his eyes and said, "The spirits tell me that the KND's current leader is… 'Cheren Uno.' But I must say, I ain't ever heard of such a boy. Did your brother ever mention him?"

"I…I don't remember."

"Well, one thing's for certain, there is a mysterious air floating about. My head's been a little foggy. I'm sorry if you wanted to hear more."

"I guess it doesn't matter." Samantha stood up. "I'll ask my brother about Cheren, I guess. I'll see you later." She left the shop.

"Hmmm…" Facilier stroked his forehead with his fingers, still contemplating this 'Cheren' character. "Well, whatev." He used magic to lock the shop door. "WENDY!"

The ceiling hatch opened as Wendy climbed down, followed by Carla and the Ice Climbers. "Is the shop closed, Mr. Facilier?"

"Sure is! Now pull up a chair and let's begin!"

Wendy, dressed in her emerald pattern dress, politely sat on the chair across the table. "First, Wendy, explain Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration."

"Uhhhhh…" Wendy pressed her forehead in thought. "It's like… you can't make food appear… but you can multiply it, and warp it from somewhere else… and you can make it bigger."

"Explain the science behind it, Child." Carla told her with narrowed cat eyes.

"W-Well… the food multiplies because… uh-I dunno! I didn't think magic HAD science!" She pressed her head harder and was on the verge of crying.

"HA ha ha!" Facilier laughed. "Well, while the food may appear to multiply, the individual ones have a sufficient drop in calories and quality, and it continues to drop the more it's multiplied. When it's enlarged, it's just manipulating space to enlarge its dimensions. But moving on, what can an Armos Spirit and Tektite Shell be combined to make?"

"Um… they make explosives! I think…"

"Super big explosives, of course. Now tell me… what the Sun Chi Lantern can do!"

"Oh!" Wendy perked. "It can draw in the chi from nearby benders and give the user control of those elements!"

"Why is that one so interesting to you?" Carla asked.

"Well, because it only works with benders you have close bonds with." Wendy touched her heart. "It's like having a part of your friends inside of you. It sounds like a warm feeling…"

"But taking their chi would only make the friends weaker." Carla noted. "Sounds a little selfish if you ask me…"

"It isn't really." Facilier said. "There are worse ways to take someone's energy, like the Parasitus Curse, darknessbending, or energybending… This way, it's more like borrowing. And it's stronger because of those good morals and all that. But anyway, I hope you're finally cooled down from those events in Orchid Bay."

"Oh. Yeah, I'm feeling fine now." Wendy blushed, scratching her head. "I'm sorry about… when I cried…"

"Oh, water under the bridge. …Hehe. Get it?" Wendy made a sheepish laugh at this pun. "But if you are, that means you're ready for a brand new quest!"

"All right!!" Wendy jumped in the air. "Where are we going? A field of unicorns? A planet of floating islands? Or maybe a place where people wear shirts for pants and vice-versa!"

"We're goin'…" Facilier wore an eager smirk, standing and raising a brochure. His attempt at suspense made Wendy excited. "…to the magical city of GLITZVILLE!" He slapped the brochure on the table before Wendy.

"GLITZVILLE?! OH, WOW! . . . What's Glitzville?"

"It's a popular vacation area mostly known for its combat arena, the Glitz Pit. All the greatest fighters like to gather there to let off steam. They don't just have martial artists, they bring in all kinds of rare and unique creatures, including magic ones! I figure it would be a great study assignment for you." He pulled a notebook from out of nowhere.

"Oh. So it's one of those fun field trips, but with homework." Wendy blushed. "Well, it still sounds fun! Do you think I'll learn a lot?"

"Sure you will!" Harvey said perkily. "There's just… one itty-bitty dilemma: it's under Government protection."

"Government protection?" Carla questioned. "Then won't Wendy be in danger?"

"Relax, relax! I have the perfect disguise…"