40. Kids of America

Gallagher Elementary; en route to Washington (the night before the battle)

The Teen Ninja Carriers were hauling the uplifted school through the night. Naturally, the Teens got sleepy and went up to bunks in their carriers. They didn't expect the school of children to have the energy to try and escape, rather than sleep. They were still unaware that the students had been untied hours ago, with the help of the Kindergarten Tribe, who had been untied previously by Rupert's Pikmin. While their comrades were asleep, the Second, Fifth, and Kindergarten Leaders met in the teacher's lounge, along with Timothy, Hikari, Joey, and tiny Rupert on the desk. "Little person with ant people took me by surprise." Chief Fingerpaint, the dark-skinned Kindergarten Chief, said. He wielded a wooden stick staff with a purple orb dangling from one end. "I thought him to be messenger from Crayon Gods."

"I did use to be higher up." Rupert joked.

"We have to come up with an escape plan." David Keith, Fifth Grade Leader, reminded. "If you said Third Grade Leader and the others got locked up in that school, how do you expect us to rescue them?"

"There's a good chance Jessie and Shelly are in there, too." Richard Teague, Second Grade, deduced in his nasally voice. "Knowing they used to be the Top 2, I don't see this workin' out."

"Jessie's not in there!" Hikari beamed. "He told me so in my dream!"

"Say what?" Timmy asked.

"When I took a nap on my desk, Jessie came to me in a dream." She spoke with dreamy eyes. "He said he and Sandy are okay, and Shelly's with them, and they're gonna save everyone with their army of ant people."

"Impossible." Richard scoffed. His peers shared his look of disbelief at the 5-year-old. "Unless you were born with some sort of psychokinetic ability, or were struck by a radioactive energy wave, the idea of communication through dreams is the most confounded-"

"Oh, I've been longing to sock you in the nose, Soprano Voice." A familiar girl's voice remarked.

Jessie Sidney, Sandy Sidney, and Shelly Johnson were in the doorway. "JESSIE!" Hikari screamed.

"Sandy!" Timmy lighted.

"SHELLY!" the presidents beamed.

"And me!" Gonshiri cheered from Shelly's shoulder. "Princess Gonshiri of the Minish Tribe, here to grace your humble presence."

"Holy Toledo, it's a talking mutant chipmunk!" Richard perked. Gonshiri glared.

"Where did you guys come from?" Timothy asked.

Jessie, Sandy, and Spongebob were minimized to be carried inside the Pikmin Onions. Jessie had chosen to sleep and practice his Bubble Dreamer powers, and with Spongebob joining him, the two discovered that Hikari was asleep, and her dreamscape was open. …Jessie had seen it a couple times, but he was still creeped out: his likeness made up most of the entire scape, from balloons to carpets.

And it was in this 'scape where Hikari and Jessie told each other what was happening. By interacting with her, Jessie could see where Hikari was sleeping, and from how far a distance. After informing his friends, the Pikmin Onions managed to track the airborne school and fly inside under the Teen Ninjas' vision. They were grown back to normal size after landing.

"That's the short version of it." Jessie finished.

"That still leaves a lot of questions, dude." Richard said. "Like, Spongebob was with you? Seriously?"

Punio and Petuni walked in and stood beside the humans in the doorway. "We got Spongebob to sleep." Punio said. "Hopefully, he can get into all the sleeping kids' dreams and tell them the mission."

"What's with the talking mouse?" David asked.

"Alright, before we actually recap all the random crap we endured during our absence," Shelly began, "I'm gonna make this straight: we're going to attack Washington. More specifically, the White House."

"WHAT?!" Richard freaked.

"Is this to save all our friends?" Rupert asked.

"Of course it is." Jessie spoke seriously. "But there's something else, too. We need to destroy a monster called Bill Cipher. He's in the White House, and he's the one turning all our friends into mindless zombies. Me and Spongebob are the only ones that can fight him, but we need everyone in Gallagher to help us."

"It isn't just us." Sandy assured. "The Minish Kids Next Door are gonna help, and they said they would ask the real Kids Next Door, too."

"We're actually a little ahead of schedule." Gonshiri noted. "We planned to rescue you all, then set off to Washington, but it seems they're already taking you. This is the perfect chance for a sneak-attack."

"If Hikari hadn't told me what was happening when she was asleep, we would've wasted our time." Jessie smiled. The girl in question gave a blush.

"Hold on, this is going WAY too fast." David spoke up. "We're gonna attack the White House so you and 'Spongebob' can fight some sort of monster?"

"And the Minish KND are helping?" Rupert asked.

"It happened very fast for us, too." Gonshiri replied. "But at least we have time to rest before we arrive. I was told that you have an assortment of modified toys and bikes in your arsenal; I doubt their effectiveness in this situation, but anything will suffice."

"I'm sure they can handle it." Rupert said readily. "We took on the middle school! I mean, that's what started this whole thing, and we sorta lost, but, what I'm trying to say is…"

"It's time for all you Grade Presidents to represent, not just your school, but all elementary schools everywhere." Gonshiri announced. "It's time to prove to all the bigger kids what you're really made of. Does that inspire you?"

"Not to the point we wanna get ourselves killed." Richard replied.

"That's why the Kids Next Door is helping us." Sandy reminded. "But listen, if you guys agree to help, we can promise you free autographs from Spongebob himself!"

"Do we die, or get made into mindless zombie?" Chief Fingerpaint asked himself. "Mmm. Either way's the same. But I would rather fight big bullies first!"

"Okay, we'll do it." David decided. "To protect our classmates."

"Those big losers are going down—OW!" Richard was punched in the nose by Shelly. "What was THAT for?!"

"Ugh, your voice is so horribly high-pitched!" Shelly complained.

"Let's go get the bikes ready." Jessie suggested. "Hopefully, those dumbass big kids are too lazy to check on us."

"You really need to work on your cussing, dude." Richard said as they headed for the gym.

"It gets him fired up." Sandy reasoned with a pretty face.

"Oh, fine."

Washington; day of the battle

The Jabbies, Punies, and Minish were already attacking. The grade-schoolers could hear the conflict outside. Shelly's father, King Sandy, was forming a great big sand bubble around their school. The army of Kindergarten-through-5th graders were ready on their bikes, their weapons, and waited at the front door. "I'm gonna blow this bubble down, then everybody heads straight to the White House." Shelly announced, clutching her Sand Wand tight. "Our main priority is to get Shorts and Sponge over to the White House, and protect them from any jerks that come for 'em. Got that?"

"This is the very same as attacking a middle school." Jessie assured. "Except these kids are bigger, meaner, and have the United States Army to back them up. But we're gonna rescue our friends and give them HELL!"

"YEEEAAAH!" The kids cheered vigorously.

"Twerps of Gallagher:" Shelly waved her Sand Wand and blasted the bubble clear open, "GIVE THEM HECK!"

The grade-schoolers burst out of the school raced through the capital, either on foot or on bikes. Teen Ninjas swooped in to subdue them, but Jabbies were flying around their heads and stinging every corner, and Timmy and Hikari noticed the Pikmin slip into the big kids' ears. "You brats ain't goin' anywhere!" Gideon cried. "Violet, Scarlet, SICK THEM!"

The two werecat women raced onto the field on all fours, their eyes glowing blue under mind-control. They split up and went for two squads of students, the grade-schoolers screaming and running. "HEEEEEEEEE!" Richard Teague let out a high-pitch scream, hurting the werecats' sensitive ears. His comrades shut their ears and seized the chance to run past.

"'Guess it's good for somethin'." Shelly remarked.

Punio and his army of Punies dropped down from the cloud of Jabbies to run ahead of the kids. "You guys focus on getting to Bill!" Punio yelled. "We'll rescue your friends!"

"Hey, watch out!" Timmy pointed ahead. "It's that lady from before!"

Susanne Suave skied toward the crowd of kids, clothed in only a red bikini as she left a trail of her slippery suntan lotion. Some of the Gallaghers didn't heed the warning and kept speeding on their bikes, which caused them to drive out of control and crash into buildings. "AAAHH!" Jessie's group was lifted into the air by psychic.

"That's as far as you go!" Gideon smirked. "Sandy, wrap them up!"

King Sandy had caught up as well, morphing this entire area of ground into sand so that other Gallaghers would have a harder time crossing. He grabbed a stream of sand in his aim to seal Jessie's group inside a bubble. Lenari and Gonshiri snuck up behind Gideon, ordering their Wing Pikmin to carry Music Pikmin inside his ears. "Wa-wa-wa-WAAAAH!" Gideon screeched from their loud vocals.

The minute his psychic grip released, Shelly waved her Sand Wand to catch the sand surrounding them, and throw it at her father during their descent to the ground. "Just run ahead, Shorts." The princess ordered. "I wanna get some payback at Daddy."

Jessie nodded and ran ahead with his friends. Gideon angrily shook the Pikmin out of his head and flew after the kids.

King Sandy got to his feet on the sandy ground and faced his daughter. "Hm… It's nice to see my two girls getting along."

Gonshiri hopped up to Shelly's shoulder, baring the same glare. "How come you never told us we were sisters?" Shelly asked.

"I can guess why." Gonshiri followed. "It's so that you would have no qualms about me being taken away by the Government. All along, he was going to hand me to his brother so that I can bring to life his God Fruit."

"So, you know the truth, do you? Yes." Sandy admitted, baring a remorseful look. "Disregarding my obsession with ruling a beach, the only thing I ever cared about was my family. I was indebted to Big Brother Andrew, and for a long time, I wanted to see my other daughter. I wanted Gonshiri to get to know Shelly. But your mother found out about my chat with Andrew. I felt terrible for losing her trust… but I'm not sorry for wanting to help my brother. My daughters didn't even know they were related, but they were already bound to each other. You know the feeling."

"But your brother is terrible!" Gonshiri shouted. "He hated my mother, your wife."

"And I hate him for that! But it doesn't matter." Sandy reasoned. "All he wants is to save the world. My brother always knows what's best. So I'm going to help him in any way I can. If he needs Gonshiri's power for his plan—whether that's raising a zombie army or selling cookies for boy scouts—I have to help him. But I promise, the moment I think he's going to do something dangerous, I'll protect my daughter."

"Bullcrap, you can't be relied on for jack, and Uncle Andrew doesn't know anything." Shelly argued.

"And I will not be used to breed any zombie army whatsoever!" Gonshiri yelled. "So you can piss off, Father!"

"The two of you already messed up by attacking Washington." King Sandy replied. "Your friends are going to be captured, and you can either join them in that school, or come with me to Mariejoa."

"I'll take the third option." Shelly smirked. The princess waved her Sand Wand and grabbed a bundle of sand to surround her and Shiri. "Beating the snot out of any weirdo that tries to control us!"

Gideon flew over Jessie's group and encased himself in a psychic bubble, forcefully bouncing around the field in attempt to crush the kids, who stopped and ducked in fear. "Ah'll squish every one of you rats!"

Before he could crush Jessie, Spongebob kicked him out of the way and stretched in width, bouncing the bubble away as it disabled, and the Kindergarteners launched a storm of crayons from small bows to stick and pin Gideon to a building's side. He fumed with anger when Jessie's team ran ahead, using psychic to pull the crayons off and float back to the ground. Chief Fingerpaint approached the white-haired boy. "You really weird girl." Chief said. "Is that some kind of lotion?"

"I AM NOT A GIRL!" Gideon shouted. "I dunno if you're a kid or some kind of jungle person, but no one gets mercy from me!" The psychic blew his dog whistle, summoning the brainwashed werecats to his side.

"You use curious powers, to your disposable." Fingerpaint said. "But you are not only one with power over mind." He held up a small, convenient bag of catnip, calling Violet to pounce over. Fingerpaint leapt onto her back like a horse, bit his wooden stick staff in his teeth, and performed a jig as hypnotic music played. Colorful swirls appeared in Violet's eyes; she was under the Kindergartener's control. Gideon climbed onto Scarlet's back as both controllers forced the werecats to claw at each other.

Jessie's team made it to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, so the next course of action would be to go around it. "Guys, look at that!" Joey pointed when the pool began bubbling.

"HAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!" A gigantic, green sea serpent emerged from the water, and riding on its head was Ashei Winters, the pale-skinned Eskimo with a white coat and sleek black hair. She took attention to the stampede of Punies running around the pool, so she directed the monster to Punio in the lead. The Puni Leader looked up and screamed at the incoming monster's mouth, but a giant blue letter "B" block flew in the way and clogged its mouth. The Punies and Ashei looked over at Joey Beatles, who held his giant Lego Bazooka.

"Better you fight that monster than me." Richard remarked as the other children and Punies kept going. The sea serpent angrily flailed his head as it tried to bite the block, but decided to toss it away and lunge at Joey again. The boy dodged aside, and Ashei watched with interest as he began to run around the field, dropping letter blocks in his wake, until a great wall of blocks surrounded the pool's perimeter and towered over the beast. The sea serpent shared Ashei's baffled expression.

"You can't be serious." Ashei said as her monster rammed his head against and toppled the blocks down, but by making it unbalanced, the longer wall behind him toppled down and over the monster, crushing him into the pool. Ashei blew her horn and jumped off to let the giant snowbird to swoop down and take her in its talons. The winged beast had snow-white fur, blue talons and wings as sharp as icicles, and a blue beak under piercing yellow eyes.

"Looks like it's bird season!" Joey whipped out his bazooka and began blasting giant blocks that didn't go high enough to reach the bird. The snowbird slashed its wings to shoot icicles that Joey ran to avoid.

Susanne Suave skied across the sides of the buildings near the Reflecting Pool to go over the fallen blocks, afterwards kicking off to ski on the ground to Jessie's group. "YAAAAAH!" She leapt high into the air for a kick at them, Sandy immediately noticed and threw her lasso to rope her, but Susanne easily slipped through and stamped her foot against the girl's face, flying her away. "SANDY!" Jessie exclaimed, running to his sister's side. "Are you hurt?!"

"Ow… m-my nose…" Sandy held her bent, bleeding nose.

Jessie gritted his teeth and looked at the teenager with anger. "You slippery WHORE!"

"WHADDID YOU CALL ME?!" Susanne turned red, despite her lotion. "I'll break your SKULL in, you little turd!"

"Could you pleasth wash that sunscreen off?" Richard whined, his nose congested. "I'm allergic to, a-gi-gi, a-gi-gi- ACHOO!" He blasted a glob of greenish-white snot at Susanne's face. The girl panicked and shook to shake it off, but the kids seized the chance to escape and make a mad dash to the distant White House. Jessie was helping his sister along.

"We're almost there!" Timmy exclaimed.

"Don't celebrate, yet!" Richard cautioned. "Here come the GUNs!"

A troupe of GUN soldiers marched forth from the White House in perfect rows, ready to subdue the kids. "Are we really gonna arrest a bunch of grade-schoolers for attacking the White House?" one of them asked.

"We'll phone their parents later." The leader said. "Just hit them with light chi-blocks and we'll carry 'em back-"

"I'M NOT THROUGH YET, BRATS!" Susanne screamed, skiing after the children after getting the snot off. His allergies were still active, so Richard sneezed a rope of snot to stick onto the teen, then Richard turned his head to swing the attached girl to the GUN troops, bowling them over like pins. To further complete this simile, Spongebob created Bubble Bowls to send the soldiers toppling, literally in the shape of pins.

"Are you kidding me?!" Nya shouted, floating beside Wendy Corduroy. "They have to be the weakest soldiers in the world!"

"Well, it's not like beating up kids will look good on the news." Wendy argued.

"Raaah!" Nya growled when some Jabbies swooped by, attempting to shoot the bugs with her laser. "Robbie, do something about those twerps!"

"You got it!" Robbie Valentino, a black-haired boy with black armor and a few zits, flew out onto the field and landed a short distance from the kids. He outstretched his arms and extracted huge, twin metal wheels with sharp blades. They spun rapidly as he smirked devilishly at the kids, rolling for them.

"You called my ex-boyfriend?!" Corduroy exclaimed. "He'll tear those kids to shreds!"

"Not our fault." Nya replied uncaringly.

The children braced for impact when the bladed wheels were seconds from slicing them, but David Keith bounced his bike off of the teen's head, having rode off from a nearby roof at high speed. Robbie lost control and swerved to the left, missing Jessie's group and hitting a building. David landed on the ground and stopped his bike near the kids. "I'll take care of him. Focus on saving the others!"

Robbie roared with anger and recovered, speeding toward the biker as David hurriedly spun the pedals, attempting to outrun the Teen. Robbie was steadily inching up, David and the others shut their eyes from the former's inevitable demise. A wave of water swooped by and hit Robbie in the face, causing him to shift and crash against a building. Team Gallagher looked up at their savior:

Melody Jackson jumped down from her KNN C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. and hurried over to Sandy Sidney. "Big kid!" The child said with surprise. Melody giggled and bent down, molding water over her hand to put it over Sandy's broken nose. The water glowed blue as the blood stopped, reshaping her nose. Sandy smiled with gratitude and touched her nose, and Melody passed a brief salute before running off to join the fray.

A small fleet of KND ships were landing around the city as its operatives burst out to battle Teen Ninjas and GUN troops alike. Chimney quickly leapt around to kick ninjas senseless, Mocha had delight in crushing her enemies, Mary colored some soldiers' armor green – causing them to stink horribly, and April painted a red dot on a building to make all ground turrets blast it. Karin Kurosaki knocked a ninja down, wrapped his limbs up like a ball, and kicked him to Jinta, who swung his bat and flung the teen to take down his airborne comrades. Ruby was flying thanks to Sapphire's psychic, so she could help punch ninjas out of the sky with her fists. Sector W was also back from their Negaverse vacation, and were flying overhead to find a good place to start fighting.

A helicopter was hovering far above this conflict, and Eva Jackson stood in the door. "This is Eva Jackson live at Washington, D.C., where the city is under siege by, what appear to be grade-schoolers and a swarm of gray bugs. And now Kids Next Door operatives have gotten involved. People of America, I think we can safely assume we're watching history. As a parent, I have to route for my daughter's side."

James McGarfield saw this on the news. The street to his palace was in shambles, teens and kids were fighting, and that particular group, led by the Indian boy in the purple shirt, was coming for him. "Grrrrr!" Jimmy pushed the PA button, "You kids, WHADDYOU think yer doin'?!"

"The American Government is one of the founding footholds to the World Government itself!" His voice was heard everywhere in the city. "By attacking this city, you are declaring WAR against the World Government! Is that what you snot-nosed kids want?! To become enemies of the world?!"

"Screw the government!" a voice yelled from outside. A baseball was hit through Jimmy's window, and the president read it was autographed Jinta.

The president growled again. "BILL! Get out here!"

Bill Cipher appeared again. "Didju find my contact lens?"

"The Kids Next Door are here, Bill! When is that special help supposed to arrive?! Where is he?!"

"No need to worry, Jim Belushi, he'll be here momentarily! Meanwhile, I'm gonna go out and see my competition."

Jessie's team was almost at the White House, they just had to cross the courtyard and they would make it. Bill Cipher poofed above the front gates, and everyone stopped to gasp. "WELL, well, well!" His perky voice echoed. "What have we here? I spy with my All-Seeing Eye, a couple of Bubble Dreamers!"

Jessie and Spongebob glared directly at him. "Bill." Jessie spoke darkly.

"Correct, Jesselina! Or should I call you Polokus?" He narrowed his eye and folded his line-arms, lowering down to the group. "Are you going to try and Bubble me? Well, I'm right here, so take your best shot. Oh, wait a second, YOU CAN'T!" His eye widened giddily. "You can only Bubble me in the Dream World! You can try to if you want, but it won't work!"

"Grrrrr!" Jessie forcefully dipped his wand in a bubble bottle and blew Bullet Bubbles at Bill.

"Haaaaa hahahahaha, ah hahahahahaha!" The demon cracked up when they all phased through his form. "Anyway, I'll catch up with ya later! Until then, you can play with this guy. Look out above!" He poofed away.

"Hey! Look up in the sky!" Timothy pointed. There was a tiny, black dot that was fastly descending from the clouds. "It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!" Hikari beamed.

The object collided with the earth in front of the palace gates. After the smoke cleared, it was revealed to be a brown-haired man in a black sweater, blue jeans, and brown shoes. His hands were folded in front of his mouth. "Who's that?" Wendy Corduroy asked.

"Oh no! That's one of the World Leaders!" Hoagie said with worry. "Lucas Stonebuddy!"

"What?! The president called a World Leader to fight grade-schoolers?"

"I do not want to exhaust much energy." Lucas said to himself, observing the school of children that were standing with their guards raised. Lucas whirled his left arm in a square-like form, before slapping his hand against the ground. A great, stone wall rose from the ground, blocking the entire front of the White House's garden. Three more walls appeared from either side of the building's grounds. The White House was sealed behind rectangular prisms with great height and perfect angles. Lucas stood on the top.

"I'll take care of it!" Anthony declared as Sector W flew over the White House. "That guy is goin' down!"

"Anthony, don't!" Sally panicked. "He's a World Leader, you can't beat him!"

"I don't see any other earthbenders. I have to. Wish me luck!" He jumped off of the S.C.A.M.P.E.R., despite his friends' protests.

Anthony landed atop the stone wall a short distance from Stonebuddy, immediately stomping the ground to propel a rock out, then kick it at him. Lucas blocked it with a single hand, so Anthony kicked another rock that Lucas blocked. The World Leader stretched and waved his hands to grab chunks out of the wall, in the form of giant stone hands. Anthony ran back before the hands clapped, dodged another clap, and when they came at him again, Anthony outstretched his own hands to push them back. The hands clapped, but Anthony was safe in the holes he pushed open.

Sandy tried to throw her ropes up the wall, but to no avail. "There aren't any places to grab onto!"

"I can float us up there!" Jessie declared.

"Forget about it, that guy up there will get you, anyway." Rupert said, standing on Timmy's hat with his Pikmin. "Let's go save everyone in the school, we'll wait for Anthony to beat 'im."

Jessie watched the earthbender boy battle the World Leader, and he could already sense the fight would take a while. He decided to lead his team to the school, following the band of Punies.

King Sandy sent five streams of sand at Shelly, who raised her Sand Wand to create an invisible shield, taking the sand to throw it at her father's feet. The man flipped away and punched the ground, sending a row of sand geysers at his daughter to propel her to the air. Sandy rushed over to a building and planted his hand against it, channeling his chi through the entire structure to break it into sand. As he waved it away to throw at Shelly, only a few scaffolds remained: Cleveland Brown was about to slide off in his bathtub. "No no no no NO NO!" Crash. "I made it halfway through this story, and I tried to go for the goal."

Shelly quickly raised her Sand Wand to block the oncoming sand, leaving a narrow space for herself as the rest of the wave flew past. Some sand got in her ears, where Shiri was currently in refuge to be safe from the attack. Shelly used one hand to hold the wand, and the other hand to pull out her sakura petal sword. She forced herself through the storm and burst out into open air, "HYAH!!" slicing her father across the left waist with the sharp petal.

"OW!" King Sandy gripped his waist and sank to his knees. He turned to look at the strange weapon that had cut him. "A sakura petal?" He drew interest at the simple pink petal growing from the wooden sword. "Hold on… you can't mean to tell me…" Sandy noticed Gonshiri peek out of Shelly's ear. "Did you do that?"

"Believe me, it wasn't easy." Gonshiri informed. "I doubt I'm strong enough to help your brother's crazy plan."

"No matter. It's a start!" Sandy threw an arm up to shoot a gush of sand at Shelly's face, pushing her on her back as Gonshiri fell off. Sandy threw an arm back, pulling a gush of sand from under Shiri toward him, and allowing him to catch his Minish daughter between his hands. "I don't mean to act this forceful, but I promise we'll make this an easy journey."

"Like hell you will!" Shelly punched the ground to sink a sand trail leading to her father, but King Sandy stomped up a sand wall to save himself before running away.

"Princess!" Lenari flew overhead with his Wing Pikmin, having some of them carry Brown Pikmin into Sandy's ears. The man felt his ears clog, so he cupped Gonshiri in his left hand and stuck his right pinky finger into his right ear. The Brown Pikmin remained stuck, then Lenari's Wing Pikmin dropped Purples down to Sandy's feet, making him ache as he tried to shake them off, then Shelly hurled a sand stream at his butt to push her father down. Gonshiri was released and bounced across the ground before Wing Pikmin swooped down to save her. "Are you okay, Princess?" Lenari asked, flying level with her.

"I'm fine. It's difficult to battle when there aren't many plants around. Especially when this lunatic is turning everything into sand."

"I think I saw a rooftop garden on another building. If it's still intact, I'll go bring you some. Until then, you can use my Pikmin." Lenari flew away with his Wing Pikmin, leaving the ground Pikmin for his princess.

Chief Fingerpaint and Li'l Gideon were still riding Violet and Scarlet. They made the werecats run up and stand on their hind legs as they clawed at each other. Fingerpaint seized the chance to poke Gideon in the eyes, pushing him off his cat, then Fingerpaint jumped over to land on Gideon's belly. Gideon hacked spit and pushed Fingerpaint off with psychic, then ran away from the werecats to let them continue their fight. A second-grader ran by, snapped a picture of the fighting catwomen, then ran away.

"Corpus levitas Diablo Daminium Mondo Vicium!" Gideon chanted the spell from memory, and Chief Fingerpaint backed up in fear when Redeads emerged from the earth. "You ain't the only kid who knows a bit of magic!" The psychic declared.

"Yes. But you are not the only one who can raise the dead." Chief Fingerpaint dropped his staff, folded his hands, and closed his eyes. "Haish bishah, comayea, hishiminshihah, nortah, netamye…"

"Is that some kinda Javanese?" Gideon raised a brow.

"It means, 'Crayon Spirits, come help me beat this chick.'" Fingerpaint translated. Almost on cue, a team of colorful child spirits, each wearing clothes reading 'Crayola,' emerged from the ground. Gideon exchanged a glare with the 5-year-old, blowing his whistle to sick his zombies, while Fingerpaint made hand gestures to send the spirits. The zombies weakly swung their hands at the ghosts, and as the spirits blew around the corpses, their shriveled bodies became colorful. When there came to be a yellow zombie, green one, pink, blue, and red, some fast violin music began to play. The zombies put hands behind their backs and performed a tap-dance, made synchronized hand-waves, then breakdanced on the floor.

"…I did not expect that." Fingerpaint said.

"Should we just go back to fighting normally?" Gideon asked.

"Yes." So with that, the two screamed and ran at each other.

The snowbird was too high for Joey Beatles' Block Cannon to reach, but when the monster swooped down to grab him in its talons, Joey dodged aside. "This isn't goin' anywhere. I'm gonna have to break out the Big Blocks."

When Ashei had the snowbird turn back, she watched with interest when Joey was building another wall of letter blocks, which he proceeded to cower behind. Ashei chuckled, ordering her winged beast to swoop down to ram the wall down—he collided facefirst with the massive stone block behind the letter blocks. His ice-cold beak cracked, and the snowbird fell on the ground. "Where the heck did you hide this? !" Ashei exclaimed after falling as well.

"No place you would ever look!" Joey taunted.

"Really? I'll have to call my friends to come look at it." Ashei blew into her horn again. The ground began shaking as a stampede of yeti charged from around the buildings. Joey panicked and began blasting the monsters with his Block Bazooka, but soon thought it fruitless and bolted away. Joey dropped more and more blocks that ended up becoming a stairway. The yetis charged up the stairway and… ran off the top edge. They stayed in midair for a few seconds, exchanging looks with each other before they screamed and fell.

Jessie and Spongebob blew Bubble Torpedoes at the Shy Guys protecting President James' Elementary School, and Sandy roped their little bodies to pull them over, then throw them into other Shy Guys. As they hurried into the school, they saw the Punies scamper out of the classrooms. "All of the students are asleep." Punio reported. "Their dream selves are probably locked in a trance."

"So we have to go in and wake them up?" Jessie asked.

"You and Spongebob need to save your energy to fight Bill and Jimmy. We'll think of a different way to wake them up."

"I can help with that!" Rupert squeaked. "My Music Pikmin can sing a song to wake them! Right, guys?"

"Ree-roo!" The Music Pikmin perked. "Reer?" Their antennas picked up a distant, beautiful tone: the strumming of Spanish guitar strings. "Hey, where're you going??" Rupert yelled when the Music Pikmin jumped off of Timmy's hat and ran away.

"Hey!" Sandy perked up. "Now I wanna follow it, too." So against all their wills, the grade-schoolers and Punies followed the music.

Rodrigo Añorga was rapidly strumming his guitar as a team of students were groggily dancing behind him. He looked at the tiny Magenta Pikmin that had gathered on the ground, staring at them with cool brown eyes. His glittering eyes made the Pikmin swoon, so the handsome Spanish boy kept playing.

Jessie's team gathered in the music studio, beginning to dance in unison like the hostages. "This is like what happened at the middle school!" Timothy exclaimed.

"He must've been the one behind it!" Richard cried. "I conjecture it's a form of hypnosis in which the soundwaves alter our brainwaves in a manner where our body actions-"

"He's a musicbender, case closed!" Punio yelled. "We'll never rescue anyone unless we fight it!"

"It's no use." A 9-year-old in black clothing and glasses replied in a miserable tone. "We're totally under his control."

"Hey, that's the Third Grade President!" Timmy realized. "Leon."

"I've been here for who knows how long." Leon Anderson Sobs whined. "And he's keeping us here until we feel like staying asleep. I'm so exhausted. My own shadow abandoned me. That doesn't surprise me, though, I would abandon me, too."

"The only thing I want to abandon is this ***king concerto." Jessie cursed. "Don't we have any way out of this?"

"Brown Pikmin make good earplugs." Punio said. "Too bad we don't have some of them."

Anthony stomped up and kicked more rocks at the World Leader, but Lucas Stonebuddy blocked each one with his hands. Furthermore, he used quick stonebending to repair the chunks that were missing from his wall, keeping it perfectly steady. "We have to help Anthony!" Sally exclaimed from their ship.

"How? We'll be as good a match for that guy as he is." Aranea reasoned.

"I shalt assist." Fybi decided. "Aranea shalt command yon ship." She put the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. on autopilot and flew out, spinning the air around her hands. She created lightning and struck down at Lucas, but the Leader jumped back and emerged stone donuts from his wall. He flew them around the air to attack Fybi, but the angel was quick to dodge them, trying to fly far away to outrun. When she looked back to see them fall behind, Fybi gasped when the Lincoln Memorial flew up to smack her between its hands, afterwards descending to the ground. Fybi shook and managed to get away before the crash, but Lincoln remained under Lucas's control as he tried to swat Fybi like a fly. The World Leader faced Anthony with one hand over his mouth.

"Why do you keep covering your mouth?" Anthony asked.

"My job in the World Leaders is to calculate the best possible and most probable strategy for every battle, and it wouldn't do if my enemies could see me move my mouth and calculate them."

"But your friends can't see you calculate 'em, either!"

"Of course not, I speak them to myself, I'm the only one who needs to and it helps my brain to process."

"Come on, man, you're an earthbender, you're supposed ta quit thinkin' and fight!" Anthony stomped and kicked another rock, an easy block for Lucas.

"Yes, you are really prevailing in this fight." Lucas said. "I cannot anticipate what you'll do next."

Anthony glared at the World Leader, closing his eyes and putting one hand on the gray stone they fought on. Using Seismic Sense, Anthony focused and raised one hand to punch through the wall and burrow underneath. Lucas was ready for him to come back up, feeling the boy underneath him, so Lucas stomped to send a quake down. He felt Anthony stop. "Hmph. Not worth my-"

Lucas's eyes shot open when a jagged stone popped up and struck his crotch. Anthony smirked as he came out behind him, thrusting another rock-jab at Lucas's back, but the World Leader defended with his own. "That doesn't affect me like most people." Lucas informed calmly, stepping away from the rock between his legs.

"Are you a Logia or something?"

"Please, I would never do something so barbaric." Lucas threw a hand up, flipping the ground Anthony was standing on over to crush the boy, but Anthony managed to push the stone up with his feet. Lucas clapped his hands and brought up two square chunks of stone from the wall's sides to seal Anthony from either end, then one more square to seal him from the other side.

Before long, every news studio in the country sent reporters to film this event. The Battle of Washington became the most-watched news in America's history. Word soon spread about the American Capital under attack by grade-schoolers. America was laughed at by every other country in the world.

Gideon grabbed debris from the battle in his psychic to throw at Chief Fingerpaint, who dodged them as he spun his staff to pick up and throw debris using magic. However, Gideon's attacks came faster, so Fingerpaint was forced to retreat behind an alley. "Hey, are you alright?" a voice asked behind him. Chief Fingerpaint turned around to see an older boy with a pine tree hat, and a girl with a gray sweater that depicted a missile with a burning engine.

"Who are you, Big Kid?"

"My name's Dipper, and this is Mabel." The girl grinned and waved, showing her braces. "We saw you fighting Gideon and wanted to help."

"You know white-haired man-girl?"

"Yes- hha ha ha ha!" Dipper laughed at that comment. "Listen, do you know where Jessie Sidney is, we brought him a list of Bill Cipher's weaknesses."

"He should be near White House, or inside prison school. Big kids, I may need your help for this battle."

"I'll help you." Dipper decided, giving Mabel a piece of paper. "Mabel, you bring this to Jessie—Cheren said he's an Indian boy. Um, he's probably not wearing make-up or clothing like these guys."

"On it, Dipper. DELIVERY MABEL AWAAAAYYY!" She ran out of the alleyway, holding the small paper above her as she ran past Gideon.

"Oh, why Dear Mabel's here!" Gideon beamed. "I was hoping my queen would witness my victory."

"You're gonna have to keep dreaming, Gideon." Dipper told him. Gideon turned and scowled with anger at the Pines. Chief Fingerpaint was riding on his shoulders. "You're not becoming King OR Queen. Chief, whaddyou want me to do?"

"Keep avoiding his attacks, so that I may focus." The Kindergarten Chief started waving his staff and swinging the purple orb it was attached to. Dipper watched as debris floated in the air, covered in purple aura as it flew at Gideon, who countered with psychic-thrown debris. Dipper jumped around and dodged the psychic's attacks, keeping Fingerpaint steady so he could attack as well.

"Listen, Gideon isn't a real psychic." Dipper told him. "The last time he did this, he was using a magic necklace. Try and attack his chest!"

"You need to learn to keep your mouth shut, Pines!" Gideon blasted psychic and blew Dipper and Fingerpaint backwards. When Dipper saw a large boulder fly his way, he grabbed the chief and pulled him away.

Lucas Stonebuddy was trying to smash Anthony within his rectangular stones, but the Sector Leader used every ounce of strength to push away. "The World Government has no real quarrel with you, and you have nothing to gain from this battle, so why are you fighting?" Lucas asked. "You're humiliatingly exhausting yourself for nothing."

Anthony concentrated chi to his head, lifted it up, then hit the back of his head against the stone to break a hole, sink in, and slip out of the stones. Anthony punched up forcefully to blow the rectangles off, climbing out and slumping as his head ached. "I said that I would… beat up one of the World Leaders for Cheren… f-for his dad."

"Oh, that business again." Lucas sighed. "Well, I guess I'm going to have to give you brain damage. OOOH!!" A foot swung up from behind and kicked his crotch.

"No one hurts my brother's brain more than he does!" Michelle McKenzie declared, followed by a kick to Lucas's shin before she ran beside her brother.

"Michelle?! When the crud did you get here?!"

"When I snuck on your ship, of course. Tee hee hee! I was waiting for you to mess up, Big Brother. Why is this guy so hard? Even I can tell he's just a big rock."

"So he is a Logia?"

"No, he's really a big rock. See?" Michelle suddenly stomped her foot, forcing a sharp stone up under Lucas's arm to chop it off. The stone-made arm fell over the wall and hit the ground below.

Lucas kept his mouth covered with his other hand, while the edge of the amputated arm was gray and dropping specks of gravel. "So, you saw through my ruse? Impressive. Yes, my real body is still in Mariejoa. I send my copies out to battle when I am called, and it is through them I can earthbend from afar."

"So you're earthbending from a kathousand miles away?" Anthony asked. "Huh. You're just a big coward. I can beat up a statue easy."

"Anthony, let me beat him!" Michelle stomped her foot demandingly.

"Nuh-uh. I'm the big brother, so I beat up bullies. You're the little sister, so you ruin things. Make yourself useful and tear this wall down!"

"HMPH!" Michelle huffed with anger and ran to one corner of the wall's top, forcefully punching the stone in her attempts to break it. Lucas flipped up perfect rectangles into the air to crush the child, then Anthony hurriedly knocked them away with his own stones, then chucked one at Lucas, which he blocked, then Anthony grabbed the rubble from the stones to throw all at once, making Lucas stumble back.

Mabel made it to President James' Elementary School and burst through the front door, still clutching the note in her hand. "Okay, we're looking for an Indian boy with no makeup. …" A distant Spanish tune caught her ears. Mabel looked curious as her arms and legs began to jig on their own. "Hey, this is pretty catchy! Ra-dat-dat-dah-dat, da lalala, rada dat-dat-da-da, I wanna download this to iTunes! Okay, time to focus, Mabel, let's look for that Indian boy." Still dancing, Mabel peeked into a classroom. "Indian boy?" She looked at an African-American. "No." Next classroom, "Indian boy?" Chinese girl. "No." Next one, "Indian boy?" It was a closet. Mabel gasped with delight: "Kittens!"

Lilac Farley and Berry Bean were bound inside small cat cages, trying to clamp their cat-ears shut from the music. "Awww, they're wearing people clothes! And people hair. And skin."

"We're humans, Dumbo!" Berry insulted her. "They locked us in here when we tried to help our moms. Grrr, I can't stand that music anymore!"

"What's so bad about it?" Mabel jigged. "I think it gets my heart pumpin'!"

"Hey! Hey, Human!" a voice squeaked from above. Mabel looked up and saw Sappo and Gibli inside a small jar on a shelf.

"Wooooow!" Mabel took the jar down and stared close at the Minish with wondrous eyes. "You're like chipmunks and ants! Chipants!"

"We heard it before!" Sappo yelled, he and his sister dancing to the music. "Listen, why isn't that music controlling you as bad as the others?"

"I dunno." Mabel smiled bubbly. "I guess because I'm a fan of all types of music."

"Listen, the guy making this music is up ahead. You have to destroy his guitar so we can all be free!"

"Hurry up! We saw the Punies run by earlier!" Gibli bounced.

"Don't worry, Mutant Chipmunks, you can count on me!" Mabel carried their jar and ran down the hall, breaking into the music room. The girl gasped, seeing the brown-skinned boy with a purple shirt dancing with his friends. "Indian Boy!" She danced over to Jessie and touched his cheeks. "It really is you! No makeup or anything."

"Quit ***king touching me and save our asses!"

"Okay." Mabel turned to face the handsome Spanish boy with determination—until she actually got to look at him. Rodrigo Añorga looked so handsome. He played that guitar with perfection. "My true love." Mabel breathed.

"Oh, boy." Richard sighed.

Shelly whirled two bundles of sand around her arms and hurled them at her father, who propelled himself to the air using a sand geyser and flew back. King Sandy threw his arms up and rose a team of sand columns, which he spun into a tornado to pull in the air around. Shelly ran as the cyclone chased her, but the princess was sucked inside and whirled around the air. After the cyclone stopped, Shelly was panting on the ground. She grabbed her sakura sword and tried to run at her father, but Sandy threw a blast of sand to knock the single petal off.

"Hey! I worked really hard on that petal!" King Sandy was suddenly flung away by a flower pot. Gonshiri was controlling a large body of leaves and flowers, all stemming from pots. "And I don't appreciate my work being tarnished!" the princess exclaimed.

"Pikmin, SWARM him!" Lenari called from a lower part of the plant mass. Tiny screams rang in the air as Pikmin stormed out to attack the giant human. King Sandy floated a mound of sand above to crush them, but Shelly whipped her Sand Wand to yank it back, smother it over her father's face, and let the Pikmin climb his legs to whack various areas. Sandy scratched to shake the Pikmin off, then got punched in the face by one of Gonshiri's flower pots. Sandy recovered and saw the monster come again, he blocked both pot-fists with his hands and channeled his chi to morph them into sand.

King Sandy ran away and clutched another building to scatter its matter and throw the resulted sand at Gonshiri. The plant creature barely dodged aside, but lost its lower half as Sandy hurled another wave. Shelly jumped in the way and blocked this wave with her Sand Wand, then whooshed it along the ground to knock Sandy down, then she buried his head with it. "Termite, I'm getting a little exhausted." Shelly panted. "You know a lot, tell me a way we can wrap this up."

"Seeing him disintegrate these buildings reminds me of something." Gonshiri began. "While structures are torn into sand, they retain their previous hardness or material. If you can break something of a hard-enough material, you can use the sand to fight him."

"I can't even break REAL material, I'm only using the sand that HE makes!"

"I remember reading that if you stomped on your Sand Wand, it would force you into Fury Mode, which strengthens your power. But the Sand Wand will be broken as a result, so you'll only have one chance. Shelly, why don't you search for a good material and I'll fight him?"

"YAAAH!" King Sandy blew the sand off of him.

"I'll protect her, you go!" Lenari assured. Shelly nodded and ran off to find something, while Shiri and Lenari commanded a swarm of Pikmin to attack the Sand King.

"You know, I play guitar, too." Mabel spoke sheepishly to the Spanish teen, dancing close to him. "My brother says I could be in a band. He thinks I could be lead singer, too, but, he's my brother, so whaddoes he know, right? Heh heh." She chuckled.

"There's a good time and an inconvenient time for flirting with the enemy." Richard whined. "This is the latter!"

"Ooo, I know!" Mabel beamed. "Let me play your guitar and I'll show you!"

"No, mi chica." Rodrigo denied.

Mabel snorted, "I'm not a chicken, silly! Come on, just let me play it!" Against Rodrigo's wishes, Mabel took the guitar. "ESO NUEBLA, hola olaaayy!" Mabel strummed the strings loudly and sang what she thought was Spanish. "No esque ooocho, espanol no leeee!"

Jessie rushed over, took the guitar, and smashed it against the ground the minute he was free from control. Timothy took the jar containing Sappo and Gibli to drop them on the floor. "So this is where he took you!" Rupert realized.

"Now's your chance to wake up everyone else!" Punio declared. "Use your Music Pikmin!"

"Let's get on it, Gibli!" Sappo said.

"Right!"

"Leon, we have to get going!" Richard yelled at Third Grade's leader.

"But I can't go anywhere without my shadow."

"We'll look for it." Rupert assured, flying with Wing Pikmin. "We have to find my mom, too."

"Hey, are you Jessie?" Mabel ran up to the Indian. "I brought this for you."

Jessie took the note and read the list of Bill Cipher's weaknesses. He nodded. "This makes it even easier."

"You really think they'll work?" Sandy asked.

"If they don't, I know another weakness of his. I don't really know how it works, but if I say his Creator's name, he'll weaken."

"What's his Creator's name?"

"I'll tell you later, in case it's a one-time thing. Quick, let's go to the White House!"

David Keith sped his bike from around a building, immediately chased by Robbie, whose bladed wheels cut those sides of building. "Those kiddie wheels ain't gonna last ya, dude!" The goth teen taunted. "They're about to become chopped rubber!"

David sped faster to another building, bent backward to make the front part of his bike shift up, then David hurriedly pedaled up the building's side. He saw Robbie easily chase up the building using his bladed wheels, but David quickly pressed the brake, stopped, and plummeted down, landing against Robbie (the bike's wheel against his face) and smashing him to the ground. David pedaled away before Robbie got up to glare at him. "You might have fancy Big Kid bikes," David remarked, "but my uncle is Lance Strongarm! And he once outran an airplane traveling a kajillion miles an hour!"

Robbie glared and extracted his wheels again, chasing the 12-year-old. David evasively pedaled away, going between the buildings as Robbie sawed through the sides. David expertly bounced his bike up a convenient stairway of Teen Ninjas, getting atop the roofs as Robbie sawed up and continued pursuit. David drove off a high roof to a lower roof, then swiftly U-turned to go down an alleyway, watching Robbie continue ahead. The goth teen stopped on the following roof to look around. "Where did that twerp go?"

"Right here, Bignose!" David sped up the building's side to ram Robbie from the front, shoving him off the building.

"UGOH UGOH UGOH UGOH!" The yeti were running frantic and distorted around Joey's letter block maze, they turned one way, came back the other way, found a different way-

"STOP RUNNING!" Ashei screamed. All of the yeti stopped to look at her. "Alright, if we're gonna get outta this maze, you all need to stop acting like idiots!"

"Ugoh-ugoh?" a yeti asked.

"We took that way eight times, there's nothing there."

"Ugoh?" a yeti pointed at a certain wall.

"I know those blocks look like Queen Latifah, just focus!"

"Ugoooohhh!" A yeti threw his arms up.

"We tried throwing each other up in the air, Billy's arms got tired, and Cedric never came down."

"Ugohugohugohugohugohugoh…!" All of the yeti were engaging in mindless bickering.

Ashei huffed with anger and stepped away from the crowd. …She stepped on a loose part of street. She looked down, and pulled the handle of the trapdoor open. The Eskimo smirked evilly. "Found your secret passage." She climbed in to search for Joey.

Dipper Pines kept running around with Chief Fingerpaint on his shoulders. The older boy was dodging Gideon's psychic throws while Fingerpaint was molding mantra, as far as Dipper could tell. "What're you trying to do again?"

"I am trying to summon the ghost of Big Taking Bully, who take things from little kids." The chief responded. "I will tell him to take the necklace of which you speak. I must also keep throwing things at him."

The chief used his magic to pick up trashcans in an alley and chuck them at Gideon, but the psychic pushed them away with his own power and continued pursuit. "Wah!" Dipper stopped with a jump when he saw the brainwashed Violet and Scarlet look around the alley corner, snarling at them.

"Jump on dumpster!" Fingerpaint yelled. Dipper jumped off a can to get onto the nearby dumpster, and the kindergartener used his magic to levitate them to the roof. Gideon lifted Violet and Scarlet up with himself, ordering the werecats to pounce after them across the roofs. Dipper came to a dead-end roof, nearly stumbling over the edge, and turned to look at the werecats with fear. "Uhhhh, n-nice kitties."

"Scratch under chin, cats like that." Fingerpaint said. Dipper worriedly approached the catwomen and scratched under their necks. Violet and Scar bore relaxed looks in their blank blue eyes, purring with satisfaction.

"Violet, Scarlet, QUIT wasting time and tear that Pine Tree to shreds!" Gideon clutched his hand, and the werecats fell back under control and gnashed at the Pines, who dodged back onto his rear and backed away. The werecats were slowly inching up, and Dipper internally pressured the chief into hurrying.

Gonshiri controlled the Purple Pikmin and made them fly around the air, smacking King Sandy's head from left and right using their strength. Sandy stomped a sand wall to surround himself, then blew it apart to push the Pikmin away. He clutched the ground to morph it to sand, then made a gush fly his daughter to his hand. "That's enough, Gonshiri."

"PRINCESS!" Lenari screamed. "You let her go!" The Minish Leader ran up to bite Sandy's toe, but he easily flicked him away.

Shelly hurriedly searched the town, feeling every fancy building she came by to see if the stone would be suitable. She couldn't make a decision, and she may only have a short time to use the stone against her father. Then, Shelly's eyes widened: the Washington Monument, of solid white stone, towered above her. …Shelly looked left, and her eyes shot open wider: the Obama Monument was even bigger, and a sturdy black stone. …For some reason, that sounded weird in Shelly's head.

"I'll use this against Dad." She decided. "But I hope I can pull it off." Shelly put the Sand Wand on the ground and raised a foot. "Fury Mode, GO!" She stomped the wand into pieces, and felt power flow through her veins as a sandy yellow aura surrounded her. Shelly clasped her hands to the Obama Monument, sensing the entire structure with her Seismic Sense. She channeled her terrific power, all throughout the monument, pouring all her strength as it rumbled. The Obama Monument was gone, broken into millions of pieces of black sand.

King Sandy flailed his hand to swat the Pikmin away, Gonshiri almost jumped out of his fingers, but Sandy clamped her between both hands. "Enough!" Sandy stomped up a sand bubble to protect himself. "This game is dragging on too long."

"May I say, for your own I.Q., that you are the worst father a Minish could ever have!" Gonshiri insulted.

"Don't you think I'm worried about Andrew's plans, too, Gonshiri?" Sandy stated. "If I don't do this, he'll just come after you himself and destroy your people, the only way I can protect them is to hand you over myself. Besides, at this point, you and Shelly have no choice. If you can't even beat me, what makes you think you'll get out of here unscathed? !"

A wave of black sand broke through his shield and knocked Sandy onto the ground. Gonshiri seized the chance to hop over to her sister, who was glowing sandy yellow and controlling a body of black sand behind her. "Gut instinct." Shelly replied. King Sandy angrily threw sand, Shelly blocked it with her black sand and furiously slapped her father across the face. The princess waved her arms and lifted her father to the air using the sand, wrapping it around him like a spherical present.

"SHELLY, DON'T!" King Sandy cried as only a little of his face was visible. "What'll you do if Uncle Andrew comes?! If he's set on making the Grand Inferius, how will you protect Gonshiri from him?!"

"I'll kick a ball at his nuts instead of his head. He doesn't really look that tough. Sorry about this, Dad." Shelly smashed the palms of her hands together.

"ANDREWWWwww!" The name forced out of Sandy's mouth when the sphere of sand contracted on him. Shelly waved the black sand away to let her father land on the scattered ground. He was left with several bloody openings and crushed bones.

Lenari and Gonshiri came over to the part of his waist that Shelly cut. "Wait a second…" Lenari noticed the dangling part of a white bandage. "Shelly, lift his shirt up."

Shelly walked over to her defeated father and did so. White bandages were wrapped around Sandy's waist. "When did he get those?"

"The agents that came to the castle must have done that." Gonshiri assumed. "I don't know if Uncle Andrew approved of it or if it was their own choice."

Shelly shook her head in disappointment. "He's a bad brother either way. …Hey, what's that big wall over there?" Shelly pointed to the distant stone wall where Anthony and Lucas were fighting.

"That's where the White House is supposed to be!" Lenari realized. "Someone musta raised it. Shelly, you still have Fury Mode, run over there and tear it down!"

"I'm on it!"

Lucas Stonebuddy emerged pyramids from his stone and threw them at Anthony, he thought quick and punched them away, then saw one going for his sister. "Michelle, watch out!"

The girl gasped, looking up from trying to tear a part of wall, and raised a stone shield. "Waaah!" The child was blown off of the wall, but Fybi swooped down to rescue her, dodging a punch from the Lincoln Memorial.

Lucas used his bending to stomp into place new pieces of stone to fill the gaps. "They say that my ancestors created the Great Wall of China. I never looked into it, but I wouldn't be surprised. You'll never get through this wall."

"I don't know the 'Timber' variation for walls, but here goes nothin'!" Shelly Johnson dashed up to the stone wall and punched her hands into it. Lucas felt his precious wall tremble before the low front portion morphed into sand. The structure lost balance and began to lean toward the White House's garden. The wall crashed as Lucas fell on the ground, and a band of Gallagher students cried as they charged over the fallen defense. Lucas looked up, and his eyes focused solely on Jessie Sidney, passing the Leader a smirk as he leaped across with Spongebob.

"No!" Lucas rolled to his front and outstretched his only arm. "The Light!" Then Anthony leapt and landed on his back, pinning the stone man down.

"You're the light of my life too, Buddy." The earthbender stomped and smashed Stonebuddy's head into pieces. Around the perimeter, Michelle and Shelly were destroying the rest of his wall. "Better stay safe, 'cause I'm comin' after the real you." Anthony threatened.

"HEY, stop those kids!" a GUN commander roared as his soldiers formed a line before the White House, holding their shields perfectly straight. "They're not allowed to enter the White House!"

"I'll take 'em down!" Spongebob rolled a Bubble Bowl to the soldiers, but it simply bounced off their shields and rolled back against the sponge's legs. "Uw-WAAA-AA-AAAAH!" Spongebob tripped and rolled rapidly, knocking a group of soldiers down on his own, and when the other troops about-faced, they were pounced and bitten by Gallagher kids.

"WHOA-ho!" Wendy Corduroy perked. "That kid just knocked that guy's teeth out!"

"Ugh. Man, we should've called CP10." Nya sighed in exhaust, swatting away some Jabbies. "World Leader sure was useless. Hoagie, Wendy, go back up Rodrigo at the school. Susanne, stop those kids!"

"Roger!" The TND operatives nodded and flew off to the school. Susanne Suave glided across the courtyard, swiftly kicking every Gallagher she skied by. Richard Teague turned around and sneezed a glob of snot that Susanne ducked, coming at him faster to throw a punch, but Richard dodged. "Keep going, Jessie!" the nasal-voice yelled, shooting another snot-rope at Susanne. The girl shifted left and smirked tauntingly as Richard's snot was stuck to a tree. But the Second Grade President returned the look as he lunged himself forward with the snot to kick Susanne in the face, the girl slipping off her feet and falling.

Jessie's team made it to the White House stairs, but quickly came to a halt and gasped: "It's the President!" Sandy exclaimed.

"ALRIGHT, you little brats, get back in that school or I'll have all your families deported!" James McGarfield threatened, standing atop the stairs.

"GO AHEAD!" Jinta taunted—the members of Sector JP, KB, and Grenda and Candy of GF charged into the courtyard as well. "You were planning to do that from the beginning!"

"Come on, Sapphire, let's break his glasses!" Ruby fixed her mech fists and rushed up.

"No, Ruby!"

An invisible force overcame everyone, and many of the children and operatives fainted. Jessie was struggling to stand, but his sister had fallen. "Sandy!"

When Ruby fainted and bumped down the stairs, Sapphire grabbed and flew them away with psychic. "The president uses Conqueror's Haki. So that's how he was able to assimilate all those nations."

"You big jerk!" Jessie attempted to blow bubbles at the president, but Jimmy lit his fist with Armament Haki and dealt an upper-cut, flinging Jessie far across the courtyard.

"JESSIE!" Richard cried, seeing the First Leader fly overhead.

"Nah-nah-nah DOO-DOO!" Susanne mocked, seizing the chance to slide over to swing her foot into the nerd's face.

"Nobody treats my friends that way!" Spongebob announced before leaping at James. "KARATE CHOP!"

The sponge's tiny yellow hand dealt no damage against the burly president. "AAAAHH!" James used Armament to throw a punch at the sponge, but- squeak, made nary a dent. James was surprised, so he threw an onslaught of Armament punches, though not one injured Spongebob's squishy body. Spongebob leapt over and wrapped arms around Jimmy's head, the president shaking in attempt to get rid of him. "Anna, do something!"

"I'm on it!" Jimmy's wife, Anna Worthington-McGarfield, controlled a huge Bus Walker and grabbed Spongebob off of the president using one of many claws. She tossed Spongebob into the Walker's hold, then proceeded to collect all of the operatives taken out by the Haki. Sandy Sidney was among them.

In James' Elementary School, Rupert and the Minish twins rescued Lilac and Berry from their cages. They rode the werekittens as they searched the school for Leon's shadow and Rupert's mom, with Mabel and the Punies accompanying. Lilac sniffed around. "I smell something stinky over there!"

"Maybe it's Mom!" Rupert said hopefully. The kids turned a few more corners and found an auditorium. Emily Phantom and Leon's shadow were locked in coffins with see-through glass, hanging on the wall above the stage. "Mom!"

"Baskerville!" Leon exclaimed without changing his expression.

"WHO NAMES THEIR SHADOW THAT?" the others chorused.

"Those must be some kinds of spectral containers." Punio assumed. "If we can break the glass, they could escape."

"I'll do it!" Mabel announced. "With my GRAPPLING HOOK!" She blasted the hook up to Baskerville's coffin, it bounced off the side and hit Emily's cage. Both coffins fell as the glass broke open. The werecats pounced up onstage as Rupert sent his Magenta Pikmin beside his mother's ears.

"Baskerville!" Leon cheered with sad delight, embracing his shadow in a hug. "I missed you so much. I had no one to be miserable with."

"Hang on, Mom, we'll make you better!" Rupert assured his grey, shuddering mother. The Music Pikmin were beginning to sing.

"Rupert, didn't you say you saw our moms?" Berry asked.

"They're outside, being controlled by some fat kid. You can go out and find them, I need to stay with Mom."

"We'll stay to watch him." Punio promised. The werecats and Mabel hurried out of the auditorium.

You little niños done it now!" Rodrigo Añorga shouted, entering from the stage's left. "I had a perfectly good flow of Music Chi goin', then that girl ruined it! At least I still can blow your heads up with Bad Notes!" He used maracas to control the soundwaves in the air, shaking them fiercely as purple Bad Notes with munching mouths spawned.

"Hey, stop thaaaaat!" Leon whined when the Bad Notes began swarming him. "It's burning my earlobes." He sunk into a Shadow Veil.

"Oh no you don't!" Rodrigo searched around. "Where did that kid go?"

Leon came up in the doorway behind him. "Hi." He said with his gloomy face. "I can use my Shadow Veil to go wherever there's a shadow. I use it to get away from bullies. So don't find me." He Veiled again before Rodrigo could throw soundwaves.

Hoagie III and Wendy Corduroy flew into the auditorium. "Yo 'Rigo, what's up?" Wendy asked.

"Help me find that shadow mocoso! He's one of the students here!"

"We're on it, man." The TNDs flew off.

Ashei Winters climbed up the ladder eagerly. Wherever this led, Joey Beatles was hiding, and she would finally take the brat down. "Ah-HA!" She came up out of the hatch- "WHAT THE-?!" She was now standing at the base of a tremendous Jenga tower. "When did he have time to make THIS?!"

"Oh, hello!" Joey waved at her from an upper floor. "You're just in time to help with my construction project!"

Ashei glared and blew her horn, summoning a team of owls to lift and carry her up to his floor. Joey hurriedly made block staircases to get to higher floors. Ashei sent her owls to peck him while she ran up the block stairs, during which Joey swung Lego swords at the owls and dropped scattered Legos on the stairs to slow Ashei's progress. "Stop running around!" she demanded after chasing Joey onto the top floor. "There isn't anywhere to go from here!"

"Actually, I think we can work from up here." Joey decided. "But I might need a little help. It's time to caaaall…!"

"LEGONYX!" A colossal figure fell from the sky: it looked like Sardonyx from Steven Universe, made entirely out of Legos and wielding a giant block hammer.

"WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?!" Ashei freaked.

"Good MORNING, everyone!" she announced like a talk-show host. "This is the LOVELY Legonyx coming to you live from Jenga Tower, Washington, D.C.! I'm visiting from Planet Legola to see a very special friend of mine… oh, there he is! JOEY, baby, how's my little man?" She happily reached up and took the boy off the tower.

"I'm doing great! And you're looking beautiful today, Legonyx."

"Ohhhh, you are so sweet, I wanna eatchu like candy!" She pinched Joey's cheek with one of her four hands. "But for now, just sit back and relax, Joey, as I show you artistic talent!"

"So you lured me up here just to let your giant monster smash this tower?!" Ashei shouted.

"Hmm… 'Smash' is the word one would use to describe what other people might do." Legonyx replied. "The proper words to describe Yours Truly are:" She performed a graceful leap into the air, "Specific!" and knocked a Jenga block out of the structure to fly across the city, crushing no one. "Intelligent!" Another block. "Accurate!" She kept it up, the tower still didn't fall. "Faultless! Elegant! Controlled! Surgical! Graceful! And POWERFUL!" To conclude, Legonyx flew high above the tower, spun, and smashed her hammer, taking the entire fortress down. Ashei Winters was among the fallen blocks, dizzy and unconscious.

"But for this occasion, I will settle with smashing." Legonyx shrugged.

"Bo-bobo Kempo?" Joey Beatles asked the dark-haired boy he met at the park. "What's that?"

"It's where you do a bunch of crazy stuff to beat your enemies."

"How does it work?"

"I dunno. I just think of stuff to happen and it happens."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Whatever you can think up, I guess."

"Could I carry a bunch of blocks that way?"

"If you want to…"

Lilac, Berry, and Mabel looked around the battleground from afar. Teen Ninjas, kids, and Jabbies were everywhere, Washington had no sense of order anymore. "Look, there's my brother!" Mabel pointed to the top of a building, where Dipper was backed up on the edge, approached by two snarling catwomen.

"And there's our moms!" Berry noticed. "We gotta get up there!"

"Grab onto me, kittens, I'll grapple hook us up there!" The werecats did so and clasped onto Mabel- "Ow! Not so hard with the claws."

Dipper Pines looked over the edge with worry, then faced back at the approaching werecats. Chief Fingerpaint was still chanting, and the Pines feared he wouldn't get done in time. A grappling hook latched onto the edge beside him, and Mabel and the kittens flew up. "WHOOOAA!" She overshot and flew right over the cats and Gideon, landing on the next roof.

"Mom, don't!" Berry and Lilac pounced off and tackled their parents, trying to bite and tug their ears.

"Don't eat those boys!" Lilac pleaded.

"GET OFF, you filthy street cats!" Gideon picked the girls up with psychic and began to choke them.

"Aaaa-a-ah!" Lilac choked. "M-Mo-o-ommy-y-y!"

"Mom! . . ." Berry choked.

Violet and Scarlet felt a spark in their minds. They looked up at their daughters. "Li-lac?…" Violet breathed.

"Berry?…" Scarlet spoke.

"FOCUS, you fools! Get back to killin' that Pines kid!" Gideon ordered. The werecats shook under Gideon's enforced grip.

"I am ready!" Chief Fingerpaint announced. "I summon from the Grade School Down Below: Big Taking Bully!"

The spirit of a fat, tan-skinned boy with black hair, a yellow shirt, and black pants appeared. He fixed his glare at Gideon, who looked with fright. "Hey! What's dat under your shirt?"

"What? What're you talking about?" said Gideon.

"Dat!" The bully flew down and lifted Gideon by the leg, shaking him.

"Hey! Stop it! Let go o' me!" Several coins and items fell out of his pockets, along with a psychic-blue necklace from under his shirt.

"Hey, dis looks fun!" Taking Bully smirked. "I dink I'll give it to him!" He tossed the amulet to Chief Fingerpaint.

"Thank you, Taking Bully. I will dispose of it posthaste."

"The HELL you will!" Gideon dove at the kindergartener, they both ended up falling over the building, but Fingerpaint used the necklace to make himself float, watching Gideon fall. "WAAAAAH!"

The white-haired boy fell into a trashcan, getting his entire lower half stuck as it fell over. He tried to squirm free, looking up when Dipper and Fingerpaint floated down. "Sorry, Gideon, but your sham is over!" Dipper threw the necklace to the ground and stepped on it. "It's back to the dumps for you!"

"Nooooooo!" Dipper kicked the can and watched it roll away with Gideon.

In the elementary school, Añorga's Bad Notes were flying everywhere, desperate to find Leon and snack on him. "'Ey, did you chicos find him, yet?!" Rodrigo yelled at his communicator.

"We're looking as hard as we can, dude, it's not easy to find a shadowbender." Wendy replied. After she hung up, she looked at Leon Sobs under a desk. "Okay, so what do you want us to do?"

"Just tell me where he is and I'll try to catch him." Leon said glumly.

"Got it. Hoags, where's 'Rigo?" she said to her phone.

"He's looking in the art studio." Hoagie responded. "Second floor, 243."

"Okay." Leon said before sinking in a Veil. He traveled along the shadows and found the art room, where Rodrigo was looking over the shadows of shelves in the corner. "Hey, I'm over here." Rodrigo whipped around to find Leon peeping out from the shadow of a stool. He ordered his Bad Notes to attack it, but Leon sank as they mindlessly chewed up the stool. Leon peeped out of shadows of canvases, which had paintings of Mariejoa, the Eye of Providence, and an American Flag with the Earth in place of stars; the Bad Notes chewed up every single one in their failed attempts to catch him.

"'Rigo, I saw him in the science lab!" Hoagie III yelled from down the hall. The Spanish teen rushed out and saw Hoagie beside the science room.

Rodrigo carefully searched under the tables for suspicious shadows. The teen perked when he spotted the upper half of Leon's head peeping up from a shadow, like a sad frog in water. "Hey!" Rodrigo dove in after when Leon sank, he ended up going in the shadow as well and flying out from underneath some cabinets, smashing the empty glass containers on the table. "Aaahh! Dammit!" He saw Leon under another table, Rodrigo dove in, popped out from under the teacher's desk and bashed his head, causing the table top to become tilted and drop the teacher's items on his head. Rodrigo saw him in the shadow of a stool, Rodrigo dove—then got stuck halfway, as he was way too big to fit.

"Gaaah! Ayúdame a cabo, pedazo de mierda!" Rodrigo demanded, his upper half poking out of the shadow of a classroom globe.

"It wasn't my fault, you were too big for that." Leon said mopingly. "Oh well, we'll find some grease or something."

"Not until my Bad Notes squish you into grease!" Rodrigo shook his maracas, which were still by his lower half with his hands. The Bad Notes flew into the science room, where a body's lower half was sticking out of the floor. The Bad Notes smiled madly, swarming in to begin chewing Rodrigo's lower half. "Gaaaah! ¡Fuera de mi culo, estúpido…!"

"Now you're scaring me." Leon said. "I'm gonna leave now." He sank into a desk shadow and was gone, leaving the musicbender stuck.

David Keith raced all the way to an active highway, pedaling expertly around the cars in the opposite direction traffic was coming. Robbie Valentino was behind him, unhesitatingly slicing cars as he chased the Fifth Leader with madness in his eyes. After David changed course onto an exit, the road was clear, and Robbie spun his wheels faster to quickly catch up. David looked back, Robbie was inching closer, the camera view switched between David, then Robbie, David, Robbie, David was panicking, the camera zoomed on Robbie's psychotic eyes. …David passed a salute and smirk before driving out of the way. HOOOOOONK. A gigantic truck was coming.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Robbie crashed into it face-on, flashing stars populated his vision, his armor and wheels crumbled to pieces as he flew from the impact. He bounced around the highway, getting hit by many cars, before finally flying into a colorful tour bus.

Inside this bus, Robbie looked up at a bunch of preschool children smiling at him. "Well, hi there!" the teacher greeted brightly. "You're just in time to join our Friendship Tour! Class, let's greet him with the Friendship Pledge."

The kids all locked hands and sang, with Robbie in the mix. "If you stub your toe and it hurts you know, Friends are there to heeeelp you! When you trip on your face and your teeth-"

"NOOOOOOoooooo…!" Robbie plopped his hands and face to the back window, crying with despair as the bus toured across the country.

Richard Teague sneezed his snot onto another tree in attempt to swing around and kick Susanne, but the agile teen ducked and kicked upward, sending Richard high. His snot still attached to the tree, Richard was forcibly yanked to it and collided. The nasally boy detached himself and recovered dizzily. He looked over and watched an unconscious Jessie get captured by Anna's Bus Walker, thrown into the hold. "Pay ATTENTION to me!" Susanne demanded before skiing over to throw a punch, but Richard ducked and ran away from her.

"Sorry, but I can still see the wrinkles in your skin." Richard mocked. "That sunscreen doesn't help."

"Doesn't HELP, does it? Then maybe if I use THIS!" Susanne whipped out a bottle of Super Screen, dousing herself entirely. The teen was completely soaking in white, so she zoomed after Richard at greater, air-light speed.

Richard smirked, sneezing a larger line of snot ahead of him to latch onto the Bus Walker's legs, pulling himself to it to make more ground between himself and Susanne. He landed ahead, watching the teen ski at him, but Richard sneezed on the Walker again and propelled himself back overhead, tempting Susanne to slide around the Walker's legs and chase. The minute the Bus Walker stepped on the trail of slippery lotion, "WAAAAAH!" the structure flew up and crashed on its back. The roof hatch was open, exposing the captured kids who were waking up from their Haki knock-out.

Sapphire flew over and shouted, "Now's your chance, everyone get out of there!" The kids shook fully awake and hurried out of this strange hold.

Spongebob carried Jessie and Sandy Sidney out as the latter woke up to find her brother with a bloody nose. "What happened to Jessie?!"

"He's just knocked out. I'll have to wake him up!" Spongebob took out the Sleepytime Suds and doused some on his eyes, putting himself to sleep.

Inside the Dream World, Spongebob found the door to Jessie's dream close by, rushing inside to find the boy dizzy. "Jessie, what're you doing SLEEPING at a time like this?! We're in the middle of attacking WASHINGTON!"

"Polokus…" Jessie moaned drearily. "Sandy… Bill…"

"Whaddo ya WANT, Jessie, an inspirational speech?! There's no time for that, WAKE UP!" He punched his friend in the face.

"SONOFA***!" Jessie shot awake. "Ow! My nose…"

"Jessie!" Sandy hugged her brother. "Thank goodness. Come on, we'll look for a CleanEx inside the White House." She held Jessie's hand as they ran to the building.

Susanne Suave slid far away from her opponent before making a wide turn and coming straight back. Richard Teague sneezed a long string of snot, missing Susanne as he latched to a tree and propelled himself to it. Susanna watched as he flew around the tree, his snot stretched longer as he got in range of her, and successfully caught the teen in his snot. "What? !" Richard then detached himself, the momentum forced Susanne to spin around and around and pull the snot around her like a white sticky mummy. She continuously spun on her exposed, slippery feet, crashing through a pile of sacks of garbage to cover herself, followed by some pots of cacti, then across a family of chickens to cover herself in feathers. To conclude, Susanne bumped against and flew into a drum of lemonade. "EYAAAAAHHH!" Her beautiful gloss skin wouldn't look the same afterwards.

"If that doesn't clear up my summer allergies, I dunno what will." Richard remarked.

Jessie and Sandy made it inside of the White Palace, where Timothy and Hikari were vigorously outsmarting and besting GUN troops. "The president's office is on the 4th floor!" Timmy pointed. "You can't miss it, it has a fancy entrance and everything!"

The twins nodded and raced up the many stairs to get there. "Not so fast!" Anna McGarfield burst in through a window on jetpacks. "You kids aren't going anywhere NEAR my husband!"

"We don't even want to hurt him, we're only going to stop Bill!" Jessie reasoned.

"I don't care! Jimmy's been a major success ever since Bill started helping and I'm not going to let you ruin that!"

"How the hell can you ***king trust Bill? How do you know he won't eat Jimmy's soul after all this?"

"I'll protect my husband if he tries anything. For now, if Jimmy trusts Bill to help him become World Leader, then I'll support him all the way."

"Well then, you're a waste. Sandy, now!"

"Right!" Sandy jumped back, roped her brother with a lasso, yanked it to make him fly behind, then she hurled Jessie forward and over the woman. Jessie slipped out of the lasso, and when Anna attempted to chase, Sandy roped her with another one. "I'll join you later, Jessie! This won't be long."

Jessie ran across a long hallway that led to brown double doors with an American Eagle crest on the carpet before it. Jessie blew a Bubble Torpedo and burst the doors open to get inside. "Well, look who's here, Jimmy!" Bill Cipher perked. "It's Jessie Sidney!"

"Aren't you supposed to be in the nurse's office, brat?!" James shouted.

"Please. You don't punch anywhere hard as Shelly." Jessie retorted.

"Then maybe this will keep you senseless!" James used Conqueror's Haki again. Jessie felt the odd force in the air, but withstood it.

"What, you want to play a staring contest?"

"Alright, that's it!" James climbed over his desk and came at Jessie with Armament, the boy dodging as his fist broke a hole in the floor. James slipped over, grabbed Jessie, and threw him against his shelves. The boy weakly looked up and tried to blow Bubble Bullets, but James grabbed and threw him against a painting of George Washington, which fell off the wall and revealed a safe behind it.

Anna McGarfield took out a ruler and began trying to hit Sandy with it, the girl fastly dodging. "We had a hard-enough time with your parents in elementary school!" Anna panted. "I won't have the same trouble from you!"

Sandy dodged behind, threw her rope up to catch a chandelier, and pulled it down to smash Anna. The vice-president was unconscious. "We're not the same as them."

She heard squeaky footsteps come up the hall as Spongebob finally caught up. "Sorry I'm late! Where's Jessie?"

"In the president's office, let's go there!"

After James was done beating Jessie, he dropped the Bubble Dreamer on the floor and stood over him imposingly. "It's too late for you, Boy! No matter what you do, Ah'm gonna run this country 'til my term is up! Then I'll move up to Mariejoa, and become a REAL World Leader!"

"Sorry to rain on your parade!" Spongebob announced, standing in the doorway with a bubble wand ready. "But it's time for your afternoon nap!" Spongebob blew the pink bubbles against Jimmy's face.

"Hey! Wh-What the…" The big strong president wobbled front and back, growing sleepy. James fell backward and shook the floor. He was snoring like a hibernating grizzly bear.

"I have to say, kids, I am impressed." Bill Cipher folded his arms, narrowing his eye in interest. "You made it all this way, I bet you expect to go further. All right, Jessie, let's finish this once and for all. If it's a Dream Fight you want, it's a Dream Fight you'll get. I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU. AHH hahahahahaha, AAAH HAHAHA HAHA!" The triangular demon sunk into Jimmy's head. The president started mumbling and squirming from a nightmare.

Sandy grabbed some tissues from the president's desk to wipe the blood off of Jessie. "Are you sure you'll be okay, Jessie? I know only you and Spongebob can beat him, but what if you mess up? What if he's too powerful?"

"Then we're all ***kin' dead." Jessie stated simply. "But I'm not worried at all." He smiled confidently. "Me and Spongebob can take the both of them. And once I say his Creator's name, we should have it in the bubble. If not, then at least we have these weaknesses." He looked at the paper once more.

"Okay then. I'll protect you from out here until you're done."

"I know. Thanks, Sandy." Jessie nodded. "We're gonna throw everyone a party after we get back home, and we'll bake your favorite cake."

Sandy smiled at the tasty sweet in her mind. "Good luck, Jessie. Good luck, Spongebob."

"'Luck' is my middle name." The sponge assured. So with one final breath, the two touched Sleepy Suds to their eyes and fell asleep. In a moment, a climactic battle would take place within Jimmy's very mind.