B-25. Parley

We have an in-chapter Number Cipher today.

Top of Buttermilk Building

The Marzipan Pirates ventured up Buttermilk for the second time. This time, with Augustus's crewmen able to join him, they approached the pool of rotten Sun Cream. Nel climbed off Augustus and approached the dry brown pool. "Mud usually look good… This mud don't."

"Hopefully, it won't stay that way. Stewie, go for it." Augustus ordered.

The boy genius pulled out his Metahuman Neutralizer and blasted at the cream. To their astonishment, it was slowly morphing back into its whitish-gold color, and the pleasant smell Augustus was familiar with began to reach their noses. "I can't believe it, it's working!" Stewie beamed.

"Impressive. But who knows how long it will stay that way?" a robotic voice spoke.

The five gasped and looked up. A Cinnamon Ship was descending, and the red-eyed robot known as the Silver Bullet was manning it. The silver mecha parked the ship and stepped off, the children readying their guard. Nel jumped in front and yelled, "Don't touch Aughsucks or Nel eat you, Rock Man!"

"That's okay, Nel." Augustus stepped around the cave child. He pulled out his lolli stick and flicked it off the mountain, eyes narrowed on the mech. "I already know you're a chica under that suit. Take it off and let me see your pretty face." He smirked.

"You're straight to the point, Captain. I never have enough time to get there. But since you're cute, I'll let it go." She gripped her helmet. "My name is Penelope." She pulled it off, revealing her light lavender mouse head and big round ears, shaking her long orange hair free, which had a red bandanna over it. "Penelope Mousse." she said with a nasally voice.

Augustus's jaw dropped and he felt his heart shatter. For some reason, he was picturing a beautiful sexy girl who liked to dress like a robot. Instead, he got… "Una chica de ratón?!"

"Oh, what were you expecting, Terminator?!" Penelope retorted. "I'm a Mobian, GET OVER IT! Of course, you wouldn't expect me to be, given my species. Mobian mice are born small and they lead small lives. But I wasn't gonna live off little SCRAPS that the big animals throw away. I swiped an Everlasting Growth Potion from a Minish shop and went on to bigger and better things."

"What an engaging story. Does Captain Slag know about it?" The captain cocked a brow.

"Yes, he knows. The Slag Pirates may be an 'all-robot crew', but that doesn't mean they aren't open-minded. I've actually come here on behalf of my crew, Captain Aughsucks."

"Grrrr!" Augustus flushed at the nickname.

Penelope's suit opened as she stepped forward, wearing an orange top and blue shorts, and held her right hand to Augustus. "I'm here to call a parley."

"…Well, at least you're not a kid." He decided to shake her hand. "Very well. You have the floor."

"So, here's how it's goin' down, you know all those crews you pissed off at the Davy Back Fight? Well, Lord Licorice got all of them to not only help hunt you down, but to hunt the Lost Candies, too. Except the Kremling Krew, we dunno what those guys are doin'. We know you've been gettin' all the candies, and Captain Slag is starting to become curious about them. So here's what he was thinkin': we help you find the Lost Candies and split the difference with whatever they'll do in the end. Maybe sell them to the highest bidder, we'll be set for life, know what I'm sayin'?"

"No deal. I'm collecting the Lost Candies for somebody else, not for any reward."

"Who? And for what?"

"Somebody's dying wish! I couldn't turn THAT down!"

"Well, after this person gets their 'dying wish', then what? You have six magical candies just sitting around in…" she looked around, "where are you keeping them exactly?"

"Nonya Business."

"Oh, I've been to that island before." Penelope smirked. "But listen, Captain Augustus, Lord Licorice may be making himself out as the pirates' friend, I know that he sees us as a means to an end. It's Piracy 101. How do you know this special someone isn't using you for the same reason?"

"How do I know that you aren't?"

"Touché, Captain. But the fact that Captain Slag sent me here to begin with is 'cause he's impressed with your skill. I call it luck, but hey, no arguin' with the grog factory. What he was really thinkin' is we become allies—so you can still be your own ragtag crew. You might object to it, but I don't think you'll be collecting the Lost Candies without my help."

"I got most of 'em already, and the Sun Cream is right here."

"So it may seem." Penelope approached the pool of cream and bent over to scoop some in her hand. "But this splendid serving of sun is in actuality-" She drank it- "GLUCH, PLOO, PLEEEEH!" She desperately hacked the taste off her tongue, gripping her neck. "Oh God, that is terrible! I think I preferred the trash, gluk, gleeeh!"

Stewie grabbed a soda from his Infi-Cube and tossed it to her. Penelope guzzled it up and sighed with great relief. "My point is, it's not the real one."

"Then where is the real one?"

"The real one happens to be underneath. Quite a ways, in fact. We picked up this little tidbit from Licorice's henchgirl, Veruca. Said she wasn't sure if her Devil Fruit could affect the real Sun Cream, of course she couldn't go down there, given she can't swim."

"So how do we go down there?"

"Thankfully, I designed special Cinnamon Swimsuits for such an occasion. You can dive deep beneath the stickilicious cream and come back with your gravely old skin still intact. (But you'll reek of cinnamon, at least.)" Penelope went to her ship and pulled out a large diving suit with a cinnamon roll design, and a small one. "I brought one your size and three for the tykes. But I forgot about the rodent." Nel glared at her.

"That's alright. Rallo can stay up here and watch you. Provided you two are able to communicate with us."

"They have communication gear, though I wonder if they'll work through the gluck. Only one way to find out. So, do we have a deal or not?" She held a hand out.

Augustus stared at it, contemplating for a minute. It would help him get the Sun Cream, and with Stewie coming with, the Lost Candies in the Infi-Cube would be safe from her grasp. He did feel treachery afoot, but he supposed one way or another, he would have to deal with Slag's crew. So he shook her hand. "Deal."

With that, Penelope helped fix the Cinnamon Swimsuits on Augustus, Stewie (his helmet was football-shaped), Maggie, and Nel, who fussed a little as she disapproved of her help. Penelope couldn't help but giggle at their silly brown armor with black swirly stripes. "I'm sorry, but I can never get used to this whole candy thing! So ridiculous!"

"Just hope I won't have to Gobstop your pretty face later." Augustus winked. He and his choice three crewmen jumped into the cream pool and slowly descended beneath its gooey substance.

"This is Silver Bullet to Candy Hunter. Do ya read me?"

"Yeah, I can hear you." Augustus responded. "But it's 'Stone Fist' now."

"Stone Fist? That's a crappy name."

"Like yours is any better. Are bullets even your thing?"

"It's just a persona. For a time, I was Black Baron and Black Knight."

"If you say so, darling. But I've never been a fan of aliases. Either you let the world know your name or don't become a pirate."

"Alright, alright, keep your glasses on. You're almost 50 feet down, I'm picking up a tunnel. It seems the cream is more clear down here, you'll be able to see."

The four set foot on the bottom. Indeed, the way forward was clearer, but still blurry with white cream. "It's definitely not as shiny as it was on top. I wonder how bright the real cream is."

"Do you think it'll blind us like the Crystal Marshmallow?" Stewie asked.

"I hope not. Good thing I'm wearing sunglasses. But if I had to make a wild guess, the Sun Cream will look like something that goes to a machine."

"What kind of wild guess is that?" asked Penelope.

"Tell ya when we're finished." (Play "Funky Waters" from Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze!)

Stage B-4: Buttermilk Building, Act 2: The Deep Cream

Mission: Find the real Sun Cream.

The pirates avoided Gum Cheeps as they swam through the tunnel – they were big gumballs with lips, eyes, and fins. The tunnel turned left, and a current was pushing the group back. Thankfully, the suits were built with small propellers that allowed them to boost, not too fast, but strong enough to push through the current. They had to avoid puffer fish that blew in the current (naturally the fish had gum bodies), but their boost had a limit before it needed to recharge. When this happened, they could hide behind jagged rocks on the floor. Augustus caught glimpse of a Gold Wonka Bar in the upper left corner, and proceeded to catch it before they made it to the end.

There was an area they could resurface and a floor they could climb on and take off their helmets. "Bleck, cinnamon right up your nose is the worst. These suits are really helpful, though."

"And even though Maggie and I have Devil Fruit powers," Stewie said, "it seems the water doesn't affect us when it doesn't touch our skin."

"Mw-mw." Maggie replied.

"Cream has milk, which has water, it's the same difference."

The light from the cream lit up the cavern. There were temple-like images on the walls. One of them depicted six giant figures standing over a small horned being. Augustus carried Nel as he, Stewie, and Maggie used their Corn-Clamber Boots to go across a path over a cream pool. Large creamy globs dropped from the ceiling and threatened to push them down. They also slid down the wall slowly and forced the crew to wait.

At the end of this path, they could set foot on stable ground and enter a greater, wider room with two towers connecting the floor and ceiling. There were creamy White Chuchus lurking around with Chocolate Coins in their blobby bellies. "I heard that people who come up here liked to toss coins into the Sun Cream and make wishes." Penelope said.

"A few extra bucks for me." Augustus cut the Chus up and took the coins. There was a path that spiraled up and around one of the towers, but it was too creamy and slippery to walk on even with Corn-Clamber Boots. Farther across the room was a Rock Candy bushel, but it was trapped inside a huge Cream Chu. Cutting with the Lemon Cutlass didn't cut it, but when Augustus punched the blob with Armament fists, it took damage like a solid being and eventually shrunk into a flat puddle. They each took a piece of crystal and encased their selves in a Rock Candy sphere. But it still wasn't enough to go up the slippery path.

In another corner of the huge room was a garden of candy corn. The candy corn stuck through their spheres and their spikier undersides were outside. With greater sturdiness in their Rock Candy, they could roll up the path without sliding off. Cream Chus wearing candy corn helmets sprouted up, and Augustus had to give his sphere an extra push to crush the Chus' defenses. At the top of the path, a large spring in the tower pushed them across a bridge to the next tower, where they quickly rolled down another spiraled path that ended at a ramp, which flew them to a new tunnel.

The tunnel sloped down before they instantly crashed against a wall and their spheres broke. They had to put on their suits again and dive into a new cream pool. "Better hold hands. I can't see a thing down here." Augustus suggested. It was incredibly murky, and he led the kids carefully as they linked like a chain. The captain stopped just before touching a yellow light, which he realized was a jellyfish.

"Mw-mw-mw!" Maggie called for their attention.

"You can use your Zoom-In to see the jellyfish's light through all this?" Stewie asked through his suit.

"Glad we brought ya, Mags." Augustus smirked. "Fine, you lead the way." They reorganized their chain as Maggie began to lead them through the darkness. The jellyfish light was faint in her Zoom-In vision, but it helped them greatly in finding their way out. Eventually, they encountered a gummy anglerfish and had to keep up as it guided them in the murk. They were finally in more clear water (er, cream) as they swam through a tunnel, which had temple depictions of an ark sailing under a storm. They thought it was Noah's Ark.

When they tried to swim over a pit, ceiling propellers activated and pushed them down into it. Their suits' boost function couldn't even push up against the current, but there were Pop Gums lain around the ground. "We need Nel to eat these and shoot them. But how can we with this cream in the way?"

"Relax, those suits were designed to flush out cream, too. Just have her quickly open her helmet to eat and shoot them." Penelope responded. When Nel finished eating all the Pop Gums, Augustus used her as a gun to shoot and destroy the propellers. They could swim out of the pit, and Augustus used Nel to shoot three more propellers that kept them from advancing. They could swim to a surface and climb onto a floor in a vast room with a chasm.

There were more fans stationed around parts of the room, with one of them on their ledge. There was a huge image on the cave wall depicting who they knew was Princess Zeira, surrounded by six stars. When Stewie held down a floor switch, all the fans activated at once, but when he stepped off, they stopped. There was also a Fudgepuffsicle bushel, so Augustus knew what this puzzle entailed. "I think I'll go it alone here." he said, taking the ice cream. "It'd be less complicated. You kids will guide me across, right?"

"Any time, Captain." Stewie smiled.

"Heh he. That's my seaman." Without fear, Augustus bit the popsicle and inflated. Stewie pressed the switch so the floor fan would blow him up diagonal toward a ceiling fan. Stewie got off the switch before Augustus hit the fan, and he was able to float under the ceiling fan, allowing it to blow him downward. A fan that was on a pillar blew him across the darkness, toward a sharp stalagmite, but under a stalactite. Stewie stopped the fans when the captain passed the stalactite, so Augustus would float up in front of a fan on said stalactite, which would blow him further and over the stalagmite.

The next fan blew Augustus alongside the wall with the image of Zeira. This close, he could see a line of symbols, and Penelope caught these symbols through the camera on August's suit. A fan threatened to blow him into spikes, so Stewie stepped off the switch to prevent this. Augustus floated slightly up and got in front of a new fan that pushed him toward a foothold. He deflated and finally made land.

"Interesting." Penelope said. "I think those symbols you just passed represent numbers from, like, a really long time ago. If I were to guess, the numbers have to be… 14, 15, 1, 8, 19, 1, 18, 11, 8, 1, 4, 12, 15, 20, 19, 15, 6, 19, 16, 1, 3, 5. I wonder what it means?"

"It means that Mouse People must have built this place if you could decipher that." Augustus remarked.

"Very funny. Just keep going. This cave has to end sooner or later."

Augustus crossed a short bridge to a ledge with a tunnel. He spared a look at the designs in the creamy cave before he made it to the final room. Using his Corn-Clambers, he stomped up the creamy stairs of an altar. At the top, he gazed at the shining, sunny treasure he had sought in this dungeon. (End song.)

He gaped at the luscious candy, its sunny light glinting off his shades. "…There was… never a Sun Cream."

"What do you mean?" Penelope asked.

"It's… a Sun KEY!"

The Lost Candy was a huge, white key with an orange sun design for a head. Augustus reached up and pulled it from the pedestal it was lodged into. "The Rock Nut… Cupcake Core… the Gear Heart… Sugar Fuel… and now this. The Lost Candies… clearly, they are parts to a machine."

"Are you serious?"

"I am." Augustus clutched the key tight. "The only question is… what kind of machine does it make?"

The temple trembled suddenly. The abandoned pedestal shook and POPPED out of its station, a geyser of cream gushing out. Augustus held an arm up to defend from droplets and jumped down. The place began flooding. "Yeah, I kind of expected that." (Play "Sawmill Thrill" from Tropical Freeze!)

Augustus bolted through the tunnel he just passed through, which erupted cream spouts in random areas, forcing him to run around or use his Corn-Clambers to go up a wall and get around them. When he was back in the fan room, he ate a Puffsicle and signaled Stewie to switch on the fans, as one would blow him back to the babies' platform. He ordered the trio to put their suits back on as they jumped into the cream and quickly swam through the waterway. Fans appeared on either wall and blew them left or right, but it didn't hold up their progress in escaping the huge glob of thick cream behind them.

They got to the dark passage, and as a result of the avalanche, the area was spinning in whirlpools as the anglerfish and jellyfish were blowing around. The kids were caught in these whirlpools, so they had to maneuver their selves to the corresponding ones, avoiding the jellyfish, but using them as guides to the exit. They resurfaced and had to head up the steep tunnel, but as expected, it was too slippery for their Corn-Clamber Boots. "Nel, I'm tossing you up there! Find something that can help!" Augustus grabbed the cave child and chucked her up the tunnel.

Nel was about to slide, but she thought fast and leapt to a safe floor with a Rock Candy bushel. She grabbed three pieces and slid back down, giving each one to her friends and sharing a crystal sphere with Augustus. However, they quickly rolled their spheres into the nearby candy corn spikes, enabling them to go up the slope just before the flood filled in. The twin pillars room was in the process of flooding, but Augustus saw several Big Cream Chus floating below. He rolled down to land on one, which bounced him to the next, and the babies followed his example.

Their rock spheres broke against the entrance to the hall where they had to cross a cream pit with Corn-Clambers. The cream pool was mixing with thick cream, so they needed to cross the wall again. They did so one at a time, for the cream droplets fell down faster. Finally, they put on their Cinnamon Suits and swam through the first, final passage. The current helped push them along, but they had to avoid boulders that fell from the ceiling. They could turn right in the passage with all the Gum Cheeps, but thick cream spewed out of the walls and threatened to flood them in.

The crew managed to maneuver around the cream, and from there it was straight up through the shaft that was under the original pool of Sun Cream. "Mmmmm!" Nel lost her grip on Augustus due to his forceful swimming. He looked down in shock, seeing her fall into the rising thick cream. Almost instinctively, he swam down to grab the cavegirl, but the cream caught them as Augustus tried to shake free. "Just go, you two! Leave this to me!"

Almost hesitantly, Stewie and Maggie used their boost functions to escape from the pool and climb on shore. "There you are! Where's Augustus?!" Penelope shouted.

They looked as the pool began to bubble, and before their eyes, Augustus and Nel came flying out when it erupted into a fountain. The clouds cleared away and allowed the sun to highlight the delectable wonder. Teams of Shy Guy came climbing up the mountain, yelling joyfully as they jumped into the sunny fountain, relishing in its everlasting cream. The others stared amazed for a second before Augustus and Nel crashed on the ground.

"WOOHOOOO!" The captain cheered, raising the Sun Key skyward. "That was DEEEELICIOUS!"

"The key was plugging the fountain all this time!" Stewie beamed. "Astonishing!"

"I gotta hand it to ya, Captain." Penelope said, licking some cream off her nose. "You know how to go out with a bang. Now, um, about our deal…"

"I think we should take this parley up with Captain Slag, don't you agree?"

"Just what I was thinkin'. The captain's a few miles off on their flagship. If you wanna go and get your plane, I'll meet ya there."

"He doesn't happen to have any showers, does he?"

"Oh, you probably don't want their shower. Robots keep it kinda hot." (End song.)

Grayson Household, May 13; night time

"So there's a hell of a lot of dust under the refrigerator," Ashley said as the family and their guests were having dinner, "I mean HELL of a lot, and I think there was a banana peel."

Wendy glanced at Lee beside her, who was sunk below the table in embarrassment. Ashley continued, "So then Lee, the little sweetie, tried to make a self-cleaning service robot from some old 4x4 tech… It went crazy and tried to lead an uprising at his school!!"

Wendy and the family (minus Lee of course) laughed at the hilarious story. "It killed the pet hamster Nibbles and he got a war funeral!" Leanne exclaimed.

"Uh, Mom? Dad?" Lee spoke weakly. "Can we please not tell embarrassing stories about me to Wendy?"

"You're right, Lee." Leanne said kindly. "It's up to your girlfriend to discover these things on her own."

"I DO NOT like her!" Lee shouted, cheeks red. He glanced at Wendy, who looked taken aback. "I mean, not romantically."

"I don't mean to sound rude, but if Lee doesn't want to talk about these stories, I don't think you should." Wendy spoke politely.

"Okay, we'll stop." Leanne ate a piece of her steak. "So Carla, any funny stories you wanna share about Wendy?"

"Well, while she has been improving in recent days, it is stark contrast compared to how she was." Carla was sitting in a high chair and given a roasted fish. (At first, she considered it offensive.) "Dr. Facilier once tasked her with turning a pencil into a foot-long sandwich by utilizing four different potions in a combination."

"Please don't tell that one!" Wendy clasped her forehead in embarrassment.

"Details aside, she ended up creating a sentient sandwich that was shaped like a skunk, spoke French, and wanted to marry her."

"You're telling it." Wendy pulled her shirt up over her head.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Child. Every mistake you make means you learned something new."

"SEE, Leanne??" Lee retorted.

"That's just what people say to make their selves feel better." Leanne replied. "It doesn't change the fact that Lord Vacuumus left emotional scars on all of our classmates."

"Not as much as Lee when he found out Pretty Princess Sparklecrown wasn't real." David said.

"I know her!" Wendy beamed – Lee's face was planted against the table. "We used to watch that cartoon in my orphanage."

"Yeah, Lee and Leanne used to watch it, too. Lee was in love with the princess and wanted to buy all her merchandise." David smiled humorously at the memory. "He ended up having way more girl toys than Leanne-"

"You-know-what, I'm-not-hungry." Lee stood up and stomped out of the room. "I'll be outside, hoping I get eaten by a werewolf."

"Fine, but tell Diwata to get off the roof if she's out there." Leanne told him.

"Um… I would also like to be excused if that's okay." Wendy said.

"Sure it is." Ashley smiled. "You probably won't be up for our boring grown-up stories. Okay, so I was playing Hero's Duty online, one of my jackass 'teammates' made a bargain with the enemy and TOTALLY LED ME TO A BOMB TRAP! I ripped my headset in half and-…"

While Ashley continued her "boring" story, Wendy went outside and found Lee lying on the grass, gazing at the stars. "Lee… I'm sorry if I'm ruining your dinner. This probably wasn't how you were hoping it would go."

"Sigh, it isn't your fault, Wendy. They tell stories about me all the time. When we have guests, when they're on the phone, or when they're chatting online. I should've told them to lay off me tonight, but… I guess I hoped they wouldn't. What about you? Do Carla and Facilier make fun of you a lot?"

"Of course not." Wendy lay beside him. "They're really nice and they love me a lot. I'm sure your family loves you, too, Lee. That's why they love to talk about you."

"Yeah, they love to talk about my screw-ups." Lee rolled on his side. "I bet Cheren's family never makes fun of him. Or Sheila's, or Nebula's. They did things that make WAY more exciting stories. I bet it's all their parents talk about with other people."

"I wouldn't know anything about them… but I doubt they're perfect. They're human just like we are."

"Actually, they're half-human."

"Oh." Well, she did say she didn't know much about them. Cheren looked human, last she checked.

"But I get what you're saying, Wendy." Lee returned on his back. "It's just, I'd like the chance to do something memorable. Something that people can be grateful for."

"You already did do something like that, Lee. You rescued me from Professor Bob; you became my friend."

"Oh… I guess I did."

"Were you hoping for someone else's approval?"

"N-NO, that's not what I meant!" he yelled panickingly. "I'm glad I rescued you, Wendy. But compared to what those other people do, it just feels… small."

"That doesn't matter. Small, nice gestures are still nice. I'm really grateful that you saved me… oh." Wendy retraced her words.

"What?" Lee cocked a brow.

"For some reason, I feel like I said that before somewhere." Wendy smiled and blushed. "The small gesture thing."

"Where?"

"…I have no idea." She laughed sheepishly.

"You're weird, Wendy." Lee poked her nose.

"Heh heh heh heh!"

"He he he!" He was delighted by her laugh. They laid back down for a minute. Lee lifted his head up and looked right. "Oh, yep, there she is."

"Who?" Wendy sat up.

"Diwata." He indicated the blonde girl laying on the roof of the next-door house. Her eyes were fixed on the half moon. "Hey, Diwata! Are you gonna turn into a half-wolf??"

"SHHHH!" Dee-Dee hissed. "Be quiet, Leeeee! I'm trying to hear the voices of the mooooon."

"Dee, you sound like a song from a Disney movie. Leanne says get off the roof."

"But it's sooooooo hiiiiigh. Lee, can we go up to the moon?"

"Lee, I thought the Kids Next Door had a Moonbase?" Wendy inquired.

"Yes, Wendy, we do. Diwata, we go to the moon all the time, why don't we visit it in the morning?"

"BOOOOO! Dee-Dee wanna go up NOW!"

"Then ask Lulu or somebody to take you because Lee-Lee is tired. Sigh, honestly, I'm not sure what her problem is." Lee said to Wendy.

"And she does this every night?"

"Just about. Well, you wanna go back inside? If we're lucky, we'll be in time for the story of how I was Baby New Year."

"Heh heh, you were?" Wendy laughed as they got up to go in.

"I probably was, for all we know."

Diwata huffed at them in annoyance and continued staring at the moon. "Huh?" A tiny star twinkled across the sky. It glittered blue and was unlike any other star. But Dee could see it for what it was.

It was a girl with blue skin and a beautiful pair of glowing wings. They shaped like a butterfly's and were made of water, drawing power from the moon.

The 'star' whisked under the moon and soared beyond the sky. "Will you take me to the moon… Pretty Star?"

Negaverse

The Man With the Red Eye sat with legs crossed, meditating in the gentle night breeze. He was floating 10,000 feet in the sky, but any fear of falling was meaningless to him. …The rapid pounding of a chopper's propeller broke the silence, and Red Eye opened his eye to see his Negaverse counterpart using a helicopter to fly level with him. The wind from the propeller nearly blew Red Eye away. "YOU REALLY DON'T LIKE KEEPING IT SUBTLE." he yelled.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO MEET UP HERE!" Blue Eye shouted. "YOU KNOW I CAN'T FLY!"

"NO MATTER. OUR MEETING WILL COMMENCE AS SCHEDULED. SILENCIO." Red Eye cast a spell to mute the helicopter entirely. He remained afloat outside as he spoke to his Negative. "Sigh… now then: The date in which I had planned to meet my daughter is merely days away. And the dreaded Apocalypse we have long been preparing for is scheduled in half a month. It is almost terrifying how quickly time has passed."

"My sentiments exactly." Blue Eye agreed. His voice was a higher pitch of Red Eye's deep voice. "And your plan is to stage this meeting on a planet called Lunaria, correct?"

"That is true. After we have at long last become acquainted, I will teach Wendy everything I know, and she will join our cause. I plan for her to meet your daughter once again as well."

"I am sure Ydnew will be delighted to hear this… yet, I am concerned that it won't be the reunion you anticipate. Would your daughter accept your violent tendencies? What if she doesn't share your perspective? If she were to fear you?"

"I am positive she will understand my plight. I would not put it past her to feel resent for me, given my method in 'raising' her. But she will not hate me for long."

"So you say. I just advise you to be careful what you wish for. Since we are on the topic… when did you plan to attack the World Government?"

"I do not wish to create more panic while the Quest for Seven Lights is still taking place. And yet, I cannot expect the Leaders will sit idly by for much longer. Set a date for May 25. Or -25 Yam in your case."

"I will do just that. But next time… could we please meet on the ground?"

"Hm hm, very well." Red Eye smiled. The deafening chopper pounding returned when he dispelled the Silencio, watching as his Negative flew back to the earth. "Perhaps now would be a good time to speak to Dr. Facilier. I should get Arlon to prepare."

Slag's Fleet

The Marzipan Pirates met back with Penelope in the sky, a few miles from Buttermilk Building. With her permission, the biplane was allowed to make land on the captain's flagship. She led the five through a bar of loud, drunken robot pirates, who spoke in the typical pirate turn-of-phrase and engaged in mindless brawls. "It be MOI turn to play with the Princess Barbie Rainbow Set!"

"Don't gawk at me in such a tone, ye rapticious rapscallion! Er Ay will haul this cutlass up yer artificial spine and see ye capsize!"

"They certainly embrace the piratey tradition." Augustus said.

"More along the lines that they're men." Penelope replied. "So where did you say that cavegirl was from?"

"The Land Before Time, where do you think?"

"You mean to tell me you actually traveled through time?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." He smirked, starting a new lollipop.

"Just make sure you watch out for her. I hear that people who travel through time and stay in a different time era too long get killed."

"Killed?"

"Yeah, because the universe demands it or something. It upsets the balance of things, ruins the Space-Time Continuum, you know all that fun stuff."

"But when you think about it, aren't we all traveling through a river of time?"

"Nice poetry, Captain. But taking shortcuts through that river is another thing."

They arrived at Captain Slag's cabin, where the Rusty Pete twins were playing Tug-o-War over Termina Slag's Mask. "Oi'm pretty sure that I'M the Termina Pete!"

"My backup hard-drive you're Termina Pete! You just want the mask ALL to yourself!"

"Your backup hard-drive is nothing but cheap adult films on the Internet! Gimme back me captain's mask!"

"It's MY captain's mask!"

"STOW IT!" Captain Slag bonked them both on the head. "Why fight over that dumb old mask when the REAL Slag be right before yer eyes? You love and respect the same grog-chugging captain… SO LEARN TA SHARE!"

"WE WILL, CAPTAIN!"

"Ahhh, Penelope!" Slag marched up to the visitors. "Ay see you've returned with Lolly-Licking Augustus."

"It's… Stone Fist… Augustus." He bit his lollipop.

"Iron beats stone." Slag raised his own fist. "It make no difference to me. Seeing that you are here, ye must have agreed to the terms of my parley."

"'Agreed' is a strong word, Slaggy. Let's talk business. First off, how do I know you aren't working for Lord Licorice?"

"An understandable concern. Boys?"

Some pirates stepped out from behind a curtain, holding four Blackberry Troops bound and gagged. "Took a little effort, shakin' down laddies with the most info. And if that ain't proof enough, maybe this will convince ya. Kill that one." One of the pirates raised his sword to cut a guard's neck-

"NO NO NO!" Augustus stopped him. "It's fine, I believe you!"

"Beautiful." Slag signaled the pirates to take the guards to the brig. Another crewmate brought him a gallon of grog, which the captain chugged down. "So, ye want to talk business then? First matter regarding, what of the Lost Candies? How many you have?"

"On hand… four. One of them is being looked after by someone else."

"May I see them?"

"Will you steal them?"

"'ey now, Ay called a parley. I may be made of iron, but Ay'm a man of my word. You've nothing to fear."

"Sigh… Let him see them, Stewie."

The baby took out his Infi-Cube and shot the four Lost Candies onto Slag's desk. He observed the legendary sweets with interest. "Most fascinating. And what did ye say the candies were used for, again?"

"He thinks that they're parts to a machine." Penelope answered.

"A machine, ye say?" Slag picked the Cupcake Core up. "These wee little candies construct a device most foul?"

"What makes you think it's most foul?" Augustus raised a brow.

"Har har har." Slag put the cupcake down. "I have a proposal for ya, Captain August. It's plainly obvious that the World Government fears the existence of these delicacies. Or Lord Licorice would not have been sent to secure them, perhaps destroy them. If it truly be a machine that these sweets conceive, then such a device may be devastating beyond compare. Even more than the horrors of the Eight Sugary Wonders. To seek the Lost Candies would be to seek to create this machine. So here is my plan, Augustus: we construct this machine together, and destroy the World Government."

"Destroy… the Government?"

"You see, Lad, the quota for a space pirate to become Emperor isn't just a handful of islands: 'tis a handful of planets. And fer thousands of years, no space pirate could conquer this lonely world because of the Government's power. Some pirates had the bolts to challenge them, such as Golden Fist Marine or Big Mom herself. But the Lost Candies may provide us with the key. If Captain Slag would be the man to destroy Earth's mighty Government, Ay will be recognized as Space Pirate Emperor!"

"Time out, Captain!" Penelope spoke up. "I thought we were just gonna sell the candies and give Augustus part of the profit! Taking down the World Government… isn't that kind of much?"

"If having your name known across galaxies be too much for ye, then by all means, walk the plank and lose the opportunity. And you, Augustus, will forever be known as the man who helped make it all possible. If lubbers were to mess with ye, they will tremble, knowing they will have to tango with Emperor Slag. I acknowledge yer skill, boy. It is rare that I say such a thing. And Ay'm sure that the feeling's mutual."

"Hm hm hm, you wish!" Augustus held the dry lolli stick between his fingers. "The pirate I respect most of all is Sunny Fist Sheila Frantic." He flicked the stick into Slag's cup.

The captain remembered the half-raccoon lass that kicked him beyond Galaxia like a football. "Grrrrrrrr!" He boiled so hotly that his grog caught fire. Rusty Pete put it out with an extinguisher. "Well, we all be entitled to our opinion… wretch. What is your response to my proposal?"

"I was never planning to destroy anyone. I'm collecting the Lost Candies for a friend. But to tell the truth… even I'm wondering what he intends to use them for." Or what the fairies planned to do with them.

"Then why don't we call this decision a stalemate? How 'bout, instead, we aid you in locating the sixth and final candy? I'm sure ye already know where it lie?"

The four kids and Penelope looked at Augustus. They were eager to hear the location of the last Lost Candy. "Actually… Luviro never told me where the last candy was found. I only knew the five of them."

"Then you need to ask Luviro where it is." Penelope affirmed.

"I will, but I don't want you guys following me. And when I find out, I can't promise I won't try to get it myself."

"A fair trade, but when Lord Licorice comes a hollerin' and shootin' his pistol, ye'll beg for Captain Slag. But whether you hunt it first or not, ye'd best return to me soon. Do we have an accord?" He reached his hand out.

"Hmm… Accord." Augustus shook it.

"Excellent. Now, Penelope will escort you back to your vessel."

"No thanks, we can find our way." The teen winked, recollecting the four Lost Candies before he led his crew away.

"Augustus, you can't really mean you trust them." Stewie said.

"I'm not stupid, Stewie. I'm not even up for destroying the Government. But either way, we'll have to fight with Slag or Licorice over the candies. We'll accept his bargain for now and cross it when the time comes. I just hope Luviro is still alive…"

Climbers House; night of May 14

Carla showed Wendy a card of a seaweed-like plant with roots that looked like rat tails. "Gillyweed! Found in the Mediterranean." Wendy answered. Carla nodded and picked another card from the deck. This one showed a golden leaf. "A Twileaf, found in Twilight Town, Pennsylvania." Carla nodded and got a card with a yellow plant that curved like a worm, and grew from twin leaves. "That's a Heart Plant!"

Carla shook her head. She pointed at the tip of one of its leaves. It looped and crossed over itself. "Ohhhh. A Hurt Plant."

"Very good, Child." Carla smiled approvingly. "You know your Herbology well."

"I do my best." She shrugged.

"WENDY, WENDY!" Sonny and Donna bounced into her room. "Dr. Facilier has a visitor, come down and see!" Donna yelled.

"He's all blue, like you!" Sonny said excitedly. "We think he's your dad!"

"REALLY?!" Wendy immediately jumped off the bed and raced to the basement.

"Wendy's father is here? Is this true?" Carla asked, feeling this was too sudden.

Wendy tripped in going down to the basement and broke through the door, but she quickly got to her feet. "DAD, is it really… you?"

The man standing above her had blue skin, a long white mustache, and a black suit. "You must be Miss Wendy, I presume?" He held a gloved hand down. "We are well met. My name is Arlon, and I hail from the Moon Planet, Lunaria."

"BLUE MAN GROUP!" The Ice Climbers slid down the stairs and jumped on Wendy's back, shaking his hand.

"Are you gonna dance for us?" Sonny asked quickly.

"Are you an alien??" followed Donna.

"Is Wendy an alien disguised as a human?"

"Are you gonna turn US blue?"

"Answer before we submit you to torture!"

"PLEASE get off of her." Carla ordered. The twins complied as Wendy got up. "Sir, are you really Wendy's father?"

"Heh heh heh, no." Facilier laughed. "They got the wrong idea. This gentleman is Arlon, and he was sent here by Wendy's father."

"My father sent you?" Wendy asked. "But why?"

Arlon cleared his throat and spoke professionally, "It is at the humble request of Master 'Man With the Red Eye' that I assume the role of escort to Miss Marvell, Dr. Facilier, and these two delinquents, and ensure a safe and pleasant travel to my humble homeworld, wherein you shall-"

"He's going to take us to meet yo' dad!" Facilier exclaimed.

"REALLY?!?" Wendy's face never looked brighter.

"THE KING OF BLUE MEN!" the twins cheered.

"YEP, this kind old servant is taking us to Lunaria!" The doctor patted Arlon's shoulder. "According to him, your dad's already up there, and he ain't leavin' until you come!"

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Wendy grabbed both men in a hug. "THANK YOU, this is the happiest day of my life, I've always wanted to meet my parents, you have no idea how grateful I feel right now!"

"Yes, well, be that as it may, I must lay down a few ground rules!" Arlon stated. Wendy pulled away from them. "First and foremost, Lunaria is a very peaceful and sacred place. I want no roughhousing up there of any sort, understand? Secondly-"

DING DONG. The doorbell rang. Thinking it was a customer, Facilier approached the portal-door and peeped through the eye hole. "Some kids… Wait a minute. Ain't that Sector RZ?"

"Lemme see." Wendy came over and stood on her tippy-toes. Indeed, Lee Andrew and his friends were out there. "It is!" She opened the door quickly.

"Wendy, hey!" Lee and his three friends stepped in right away.

"Wow, Doc, you really changed up the shop." Lulu said, studying the change in décor and size.

"We are a little busy at the moment." Carla said strictly. "Can we help you?"

"We haven't seen Diwata since last night!" Lee shouted.

"I TOLD you to tell her to get off the roof." Leanne scolded.

"SHUT UP. Sigh, we looked in town and on Moonbase, but we couldn't find her. We were wondering if the doctor could see her with his crystal ball."

"We have some hair from Dee's brush!" Leanne held up three blonde hair strands.

"I'll see what I can do." Facilier went to his table and took out a small bottle of liquid, placing the hair inside it. Some yellow smoke floated out as the doctor waved it around the crystal ball. Clouds swirled around inside the ball before they cleared to reveal a full moon. "Are you sure she ain't on Moonbase? 'Cause that's all I can guess."

"Well, she wasn't." Denny Whitby argued. "We checked the rest of the moon in case you ask."

Arlon stared at the image more closely. "Wait a moment… that is not Earth's moon. It is… Lunaria."

"Lunaria?" Lee asked.

"He said it was his home planet." Wendy replied.

"Yes, but the planet is untraceable to anyone who does not know where it is." Arlon said. "She would need the guidance of someone from Lunaria to go there."

"You don't think she was kidnapped, do you?" Leanne asked.

"Why would anyone kidnap Dee and take her to some moon planet?" Lee replied.

"It does seem ludicrous." Arlon agreed. "Or… is it?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Hmmm… I did not plan to take so many children to Lunaria… but I suspect you will join us to Lunaria with the intention of finding your friend. Let it be known that once you arrive… you will be sworn to secrecy."