52. Why Wait Later

Okay, everyone, it's time to begin the sixth saga of the story, the Lazarus Saga! There's only three sagas to go in this story, so the plot progresses ever so suddenly! I'd also like to give a shout-out to my new reader(s), IDA Official. Glad you like Zach, 'cause boy do I have plans for him. ;)

Washington; White House

"As President of the United States," Jessie announced from his desk, wearing his white cowboy hat proudly, "I hereby call this first meeting of the Seven Lights to order!" Sheila Frantic, Fybi Fulbright, Suki Crystal, and April Goldenweek were in the room. Suki and Sheila were sitting on chairs, the former swinging her feet happily, Fybi was floating, and April was painting a picture of their meeting.

"Only five, but still a good number." April said.

"So, will you kind ladies please explain this f**kin' quest to me one more time?" the president asked.

"I don't even know it, either." Sheila replied, leaning her head on her fist. "But every time I go to sleep, I end up walkin' through a dream world and helpin' some bloke get to some place… and by the looks of it, you blokes are Seven Lights."

"And so, my mind doth wonder, wherefore do we stand?" Fybi did a twirl in the air. "Wherefore hath we been chosen? Hast the grand writers saw fortune in our souls or our abilities? Art we meant to stand together as one?"

"I am Groot!" Suki joked bubbly, having no idea why she was brought here.

"According to Polokus," Jessie explained, "the person who wrote the Twenty Keys Prophecy is Calliope, and it was intended to stop Bill Cipher's master, ___. And I still can't say his ***king NAME!"

"Still, that's the closest we are to figuring out the mystery behind this whole quest." April said. "But why did Calliope choose us? Especially me, considering…"

"Mayhap once all Lights are hither, the answers will be known." Fybi replied.

"Oi, April, when were you gonna make that brain for Rayman?" Sheila inquired.

"Oh. I kind of got sidetracked with the gallery adventure. But I'll whip it up as soon as I go to sleep again."

"HEEEELP!" The man in the green jacket, Exposition Guy, ran into the office. "There's an army of robots outside of the police station!"

"No they're not!" Richard Teague ran in after him. "The robots are outside of the WHITE HOUSE!"

"The White House? You mean this isn't the police station?"

"Probably isn't." Jessie remarked.

"Oh. Well, hi, Mr. President!" He smiled and waved. "YAAAAH!" Then he ran flailing his arms.

The five Lights headed outside to find the White House's courtyard swarming with Plankton robots. A massive, robotic crab stomped toward the palace as a huge screen projected the green, one-eyed microorganism. "Attention, chosen ones of the Seven Lights Prophecy: this is Sheldon J. Plankton, founder and CEO of Chum Bucket Industries, here to congratulate you on your past endeavors. We at Team Gnik were happy to play a role in your awakening."

"Hardly!" April shouted. "You guys attacked Mocha and shrunk Chimney!"

"And you captured me and my sister!" Jessie followed.

"Oh, water under the bridge, it worked out for everyone, didn't it? But I'm sure by now, you kids understand this quest perfectly! …Do you?"

"Just spill it, ya dumb jellybean!" Sheila yelled. "What do you want from us?"

"I want you to come over to our side. The side of Lesser Lord Ragaj Gnik! We plan to unite the Twenty Keys, anyway. And this way, you'll be safe from the World Government!"

"And why should we trust you?" Jessie asked suspiciously.

"Well, you want to see your little yellow friend again, right?" Plankton turned the camera to face Spongebob Squarepants, snoozing on a table. "Caught him napping in a crate of buns at the local Burger King."

"Spongebob!"

"And it isn't just him. I captured the angel's little friends, too!" The screen showed Sector W locked in a cage.

"I have doubts that one as small as thee could capture Anthony!" Fybi argued.

"That's why I had Dennis teach them a lesson." The five looked down at the Fishman bounty hunter with sunglasses and a cowboy uniform. He cracked his knuckles. "Don't worry, I won't hurt them too badly. I just want you five to come in so we can have a little chat! I'm sure you want to know more about this little quest…" Plankton smirked connivingly.

The five Lights suspected if they didn't play along, Plankton would make their friends pay the price. Still, if he could get this far, why not try to kidnap them, too? Was it because the Lights were too strong? Certainly, Sheila, Fybi, and Suki were. "Very well. We'll play along." President Jessie decided.

"Wot? We can take them!" Sheila fist-palmed.

"Later, Sheila. We don't want our friends hurt."

"Excellent. Lead them in, Dennis."

The Fishman escorted the kids up into a hatch under the crab ship. When they were safely onboard, the hatch closed, and the ship took off.

Midway Peak

"Head President Morgan," Benjamin yelled in anger and fright, "when I accepted the position as your butler, there was NOTHING in the job description about-"

The Lilliputian butler fell backward when Morgan stomped her foot next to him. "The job description said you would care to my needs." Morgan said, sitting on the couch in the dark room while the TV provided the only light. "Including if I needed a little bit of entertainment. Now, get to work."

"Ohhhhh!" The butler picked up the (giant) brush, dipped it in the jar of indigo paint, and began coloring the Head President's toenails. Morgan used her psychic to grab a jug of butterbeer from the lamp desk, then began to drink. "If I knew I was up for this, I would have signed up to work for Lady Daphne's scientist."

"Sadly, Amy Fowler was captured by our adversaries, Team Gnik." Morgan paused in her drinking. There was a fizzy mustache over her lips. "At least I'm paying you a hefty wage. Would you like some butterbeer?"

"No thank you, Mizz. I predict you will put me in the glass if I say 'yes.'"

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open, and General Shy Guy ran in. "HOLY COWBOYS astronaut pirates and old people stalkin' the Jew shop! We got BIG TROUBLE, President Morgan!"

"Can it with the expositions. We already have a ponytail guy in a green jacket doing that. What is it?"

"We've been keepin' tabs on the American White House ever since that snot-nosed PUNK got elected as president! Team Gnik's robots showed up out of nowhere and knocked out our troops! Then those five Seven Lights stepped onto their ship like a bunch of surrendering pansies!"

"Team Gnik captured five of the Lights?!" Morgan shouted, subconsciously sliding her feet forward and knocking Benjamin down.

"Miss Head President, you made me get some on your toe!"

"I betcha ALL the money in your bank that they'll snatch the other Lights 'soon as they wake up!"

"Only two left that need to find their Gibberish Rocks… we're running out of time." Morgan bit her lower lip as she tried to think.

"The last two Gibberish Rocks are still in the possession of our cohorts!" General Guy shouted, his militant tone unchanging. "They won't let them Lights get them!"

"That's what we were told regarding President Jimmy's rock under the White House. Yet, look what happened. If Team Gnik has five of them in their custody, then we need to snatch the other two."

"But we don't got no clue where those two at!"

"On the contrary, I happen to know one of them. She is the daughter of one of my childhood friends. President Carter is already alerted to her."

"Sounds like a right winged plan. But President, what did you wanna do about Mom?"

"…Mom… hm…" While her tiny butler was still painting her nails, Morgan decided to grab him between her toes. "I really haven't been fond of Carol as of late…" She wiggled Benjamin lightly, despite his squeaky protests. "Ever since her actions in Galaxia. I think it's time to say good-bye to her." She squeezed her toes gently as the man choked. "General Guy, send an assassin to do it."

"WILL DO, Miss Pres.!" The Shy Guy dashed out of the room.

"Although at this point… I really question the Government's budget." Morgan said to herself. "Even Azkaban couldn't hold its prisoners. Sigh… Oh, sorry, Benjamin."

She released the butler from her toe-grip, and he fell on the floor, looking much slimmer. "Honestly, you psychicbenders leave no reason for exercise."

Cleveland Park

"YO, YO!" Beat sang, making a rockstar sign with his fingers. "We are The Gang and we got the goods!"

"We're rough and we're tough and we got neat hoods!" Rhyme followed.

"The Knights of Virginia, we ah the winnuh!" Kimaya sang.

"AND THERE AIN'T NO ONE BIGGUH!" Kaleo Anderson screamed, shaking the ground when the giant jumped behind them.

"WORD!" The four chorused.

Don Quixote Sugar sat on a picnic table as she watched them sing. "Um, that was…" She said with a repulsed and nervous grin.

"BEAUTIFUL!" Meloetta cheered. "Ten out of ten!"

"So, we got the goods?" Kimaya asked, crossing her arms and making rockstar signs. "We can raise the roof of yo' music planet?"

"To be honest, it was only four sentences and one word… which was literally 'word.'" Sugar answered. "I may not be a fan of rap, but real songs have more flesh and soul to it. Besides, it… just doesn't sound pleasant to the ears." She sweated a little, having never criticized anyone else's music before.

"Yo, we takin' this from an alien girl with her pet fairy??" Beat questioned.

"You hang out with a giant and a skeleton boy, and you question Sugar's advice?" Cheren Uno remarked as he approached from behind his friend.

"Screw her!" Beat retorted. "We just jazzin' over he-yuh and she comes to us all curious and whatnot!"

"It's not like she got to explore her own element for very long."

"I'm a little thirsty, anyway." Sugar said as she got up. "Excuse me a moment."

The 14-year-old-and-growing girl walked over to the park drinking fountains. She used to be short enough to drink from the little kids' fountain, but was tall enough to drink from the big kids' fountain. After refreshing her throat, she sang with a beautiful tone, "Ooo-OOO-ooaa-OOAAA."

"Glad to see you're settling back okay." Cheren said to her.

"Yeah, but I still wanna get better at musicbending." Sugar replied. "I think the more I sing, the faster this Age Stasis will wear off. Then I'll be at my peak. But since my feet keep growing, I don't bother wearing shoes."

"I think people sing better when they're barefoot!" Meloetta twirled. "An open voice needs to come from an open body!"

"I still get sores." Sugar blushed. "So, Cheren, how's the quest been coming? With the Twenty Keys and all?"

"Hmm…" Cheren switched to a serious aura. "Well, counting April from Sector W7, that makes five. And Nerehc tells me that his friends have been finding the Darknesses. In fact, we're letting them use the Multiverse Portal we found in Gravity Falls. Apparently, this is what Bill Cipher had in mind for it. But another concern is the Eight- er, Nine Firstborn. They seem to play a part in this quest. Meloetta, do you know anything?"

"About the Twenty Keys Prophecy? Not a clue." The Music Goddess shook her head.

"That brings up another question, do you know where Arceus is?"

"I don't know that, either. Even though I was in a distant galaxy, I did feel Arceus's energy after his return. Then one day, it seemed to just… vanish. Over a year ago, in fact."

"You felt Arceus vanish over a year ago?" Cheren cocked a brow. "That seems awfully recent. I'm definitely sure someone in the universe would've noticed him."

"But still, even if we don't know all the answers yet, we're making tons of progress in this quest." Sugar smiled, eating a grape from her basket. "Five Lights, four Firstborn, and it sounds like you all are getting stronger with your bending."

"We have." Cheren stared at his left hand with a proud smile. "I still can't believe Sector V defeated one of the World Leaders. It would be real nice if we could pick them off one at a time. Still… we can't underestimate them. Between the World Leaders, Corporate Presidents, and that Team Gnik… our work's more than cut out for us."

"Chereeeeeeen!" They looked over and saw Carol Masterson jog over with her laptop. Her puffy blonde hair was still in buns and she wore her new schoolgirl uniform.

"And it looks like you got more." Sugar remarked.

"What's up, Carol?" Cheren asked after she made it over, catching her breath.

"Well, yesterday, I flew to New York and met with a man called Oliver Warbucks. He attended the party at Midway Peak to discover any secrets the Corporate Presidents are keeping. Apparently, he's against them, too. After I convinced him we were on the same page, he told me something pretty interesting: the Corporate Presidents located and captured the Firstborn Spirits, Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie!"

"What?!" Cheren jumped at the surprising news. Meloetta shared his look of shock. "The last time I saw Azelf was before I went to Arctic Training 3 years ago!"

"That's what he told me. He doesn't know how, but he heard from his friend, Richard, who's friends with one of Midway's caterers, whose child goes to Edgar's School For Servants, and is a teacher's pet to Mrs. Glassclean, who regularly web-chats with her sister, who is a guard on Mariejoa… when Giovanni worked for the Corporate Presidents, he was able to track down the three Firstborn and contain them. He kept Mesprit for himself, but when Giovanni defected and joined Team Gnik, he took the Firstborn with him. Azelf was given to Doflamingo, and Uxie was entrusted to Head President Morgan."

"So, Aunt Morgan has Uxie. But, wait… Doflamingo was keeping Azelf in custody? Sugar, did you know about this?"

"Not really. Dad never let us in on his black market deals."

"Why don't we go back to Dressrosa and look around?" Carol suggested.

"I'm sure she could've escaped on her own by now. In fact, I'm surprised Doflamingo could even hold the Goddess of Willpower. Something's weird about this. But you're right, let's go check it out."

"Hopefully Dressrosa isn't too much in shambles after all that." Sugar said.

During their talk, Kimaya Heartly walked over to Django de los Muertos sitting in the shade of a park tree. He was playing a gentle tune on his guitar, the only pleasant sound in the park besides The Gang's rapping. "For the record, I thought it sounded alright." He said charmingly.

"You would know." Kimaya sat beside him. "Why you still hangin' around here agin? You need us to break inta another mine?"

"-…" Django felt the urge to answer that truthfully. "Well, I've just been buds with Sector V lately. They've been a fun bunch. Never woulda guessed Kaleo's cousin was Dillon."

"I hope you ain't gonna switch ta them! You a Gang man! A street rat!"

"I considered joining the Kids Next Door, but they're more lawful than I expected 'em to be. Still pretty badass, though." He made a dramatic strum of his guitar.

"I hope you don't." Kimaya rested her hands behind her head. "We don't see you much and you fun to have. Freakin' DEAD GUY, walkin' the street like no one's biz! You're too great."

"Hmph." He chuckled. "How many kids could come across a walking corpse and want him in their club? You're really weird, Kim. You don't even know how I died or where I came from…"

"Not like you ever told us. 'sides, I don't need to know. 'Cause you a kid that got a bad past, and you ain't treated right. I mean, 'cause you a dead kid, I'm assuming."

"Heh heh heh! Yeah, it's kinda obvious. Hey, wanna hear my new song?"

"Mm-kay. Probably better than anything Fairy Girl right there can sing."

"Heh heh, okay. Ahem…" Django tuned his guitar, closed his eyes, and began to play softly. "Iiiii have long… forsaken… my feelings. I've never… beeeeen afraaaaiiid. The desert that burns…" His hypnotic notes drew Kimaya into sleep. "The mountains are chiiilly. I feel… no… paaaaiiin…"

"Then somewhere inside… I don't un-der-stand. This hollow… shell… of miiine." Kimaya felt her body grow numb. "I heard a strange thump… I felt my chest bump… And my eyes began… to shine…?" Django stopped. Kimaya fell asleep, leaning on his shoulder.

Django put his guitar down and stared at her. The three spiked strands of yellow hair sticking out of the hole in her backwards cap. Her round nose, the sleeveless shirt that exposed her little naval. Even in sleep, her face still bore a scowl. Django softly put his left hand over her right, clasping his boney claws over the flesh. Kimaya's hand was so tiny. He rubbed the back of it with his thumb. I can't feel anything… I wonder if humans are really warm.

His red eyes stared wistfully at Kimaya's face. She looked more beautiful. I love her… I loved her for a while. That's why… I don't want to ask her. It's none of their business. And besides… I'm already dead…

Django fell asleep and leaned on Kimaya. Their hands remained intertwined.

Plankton's Crab Craft

Plankton invited the five Lights to sit at a round table, lined with Krabby Patties, French fries, and Kelp Shakes, which Karen was pouring into cups with straws using her mobile body. "Chum Bucket Industries proudly introduces new fat-free Kelp Shakes!" Plankton said happily, standing on the table. "Now without the toxic waste."

Sheila slurped from her drink. "Blech. Tastes worse than diet Flurp."

"I only want the ice!" Suki took the ice out of her shake and ate it.

"Snoooore, mimimimimi." Spongebob slept peacefully on the metal table behind them. "Snoooore, mimimimimi."

"Did you drug him or something?" Jessie asked.

"He's been like that since he brought us here." Aranea said from Sector W's cell.

"He's probably lolling about the Dream Realm." Plankton said. "Mr. Dark sees him every now and then. Perhaps looking for other Bubble Dreamers."

"We don't plan to loll around here too long, either." April stated, biting a fry. "If you have information to share with us, speak."

"Oh, fine. Karen?"

They directed their eyes at his Computer W.I.F.E. when she rolled to the side of the table where no one was sitting (there were two empty seats, making seven total). Her screen buzzed as she projected Sheila's image.

"Sheila Frantic: The Awakener." Sheila's image shrunk into the top-left corner with her title written beside it. Suki's image appeared. "Suki Crystal: The Believer." The image shrunk under Sheila's, and the process repeated for these next ones. "Fybi Fulbright: The Seeker. Jessie Sidney: The Dreamer. April Goldenweek: The Creator. These are the titles that were given to you, the Seven Lights. Of the two Lights who have yet to awaken, one of them is 'The Keeper.'" A silhouette image appeared and shrunk under April's. "And finally, the Seventh Light, whom Dr. Nefarious has been trying to capture, Maddy Murphy: The Conqueror." The decommissioner's image appeared last.

"The Creator?" April repeated herself. "But who gave us these titles, and why?"

"From what Plankton's boys were saying, they have something to do with you." Dennis commented.

"It's true." Plankton affirmed. "Sheila is The Awakener because she's been visiting the Lights in your dreamscapes. Jessie is obviously a Bubble Dreamer, and April's an artist."

"Not only that," April weighed in, "but I switched realities with Guertena, who created the world me and Mary lived in. Judging by my battle with him, maybe I inherited a little more than existence."

"I, AM, GROOT!" Suki yelled angrily, having been the least informed on this whole prophecy.

"Didst fair Suki hath strong belief in Jack Frost?" Fybi inquired. "And mine given title… mayhap it is my desire to always fly and 'seek' yon horizon. But whom wouldst give us such titles?"

"Calliope." Jessie said simply.

"Right you are, my boy." Plankton jumped on the edge of his Kelp Shake. "These are the things that Lesser Lord Gnik told us. He didn't tell me what these titles had to do with the prophecy. The only one I understand is Sheila's."

"Do not forget Jessie." Karen reminded. "True, there are other Bubble Dreamers, but he was the only one given the knowledge of the prophecy's writers."

"Do you people know who Calliope is?" Jessie asked.

"Lord Gnik told us about her." Plankton answered. "He explained the story after Jessie awakened himself. She is the one whom the prophecy was created to destroy."

"No it is not!" Jessie jumped to his feet and argued. "Polokus told me she made the prophecy to stop ___! DAMMIT!"

"Lord Gnik said that two people created the prophecy: Calliope, and her friend that Gnik referred to as the Lord of Time." Karen's screen depicted an image of two green, hooded figures made of shimmering, mist bodies. "These same two people were the ultimate entities that designed the universe before even Arceus appeared. They are who made the Dimensional Fusion."

"Are you serious?" April asked, awestruck.

"Gnik's story doesn't end there. Those two beings created the Octogan, which produced and stored the energy that would become the pre-universe." Karen's screen showed two balls of green light that floated into the two Shimmers' hands. "The rest of the work was left to Arceus. But then Calliope went rogue. Consumed with the power they possessed, she let it run rampant, distorting the plane of the First Dimension. She tried to do the same to the new universe the gods were making, this one, but the Lord of Time sacrificed himself to destroy her."

"You've got it f**king backwards!" Jessie argued. "Calliope created Polokus while Bill Cipher was likely made by this 'Lord of Time.' So explain why Bill Cipher tried to KILL US!"

"BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THE WRONG SIDE!" Plankton cried. "When those two gods were destroyed, the Lord of Time's will was reborn into twenty vessels. Seven of them embodied his thoughts, while thirteen embodied his power. When they come together, they can revive the Lord of Time and stop the rogue Calliope. However, Calliope's putting up a fight: the Octogan that she created continues to do her work for her, using the World Government. The reason Bill Cipher pretended to work for the Government was to keep an eye on her. And Polokus-"

Sheila jumped over and SMASHED Plankton and the shake he was on between her hands. The green liquid leaked everywhere as Sheila released, viewing the flattened Plankton. "First off, you're giving me a headache. And second, YOU'RE A freaking liar! If you blokes are supposed to be the good guys, WHY IS IT you're so bad?!"

Plankton stretched back to 3-D. "We are bad guys! Doesn't mean we want the universe to be destroyed. And Lord Gnik said once all this was over, the Lord of Time would grant our deepest desires!"

"Well, I don't believe a BIT of it! If Lord Gnik thought he was so great, then he shouldn't try ta HIDE it!"

"He knew the World Government would try to get to you and persuade you-"

"BLADDY BLADDY BLAAAAH! All I know is you drongos are bad guys, and maybe the Government's bad guys, too, I DON'T KNOW! But I don't wanna help either ONE of you out!"

"YOU KIDS KNOW LESS THAN US!" Plankton roared. "You don't know who's good and who's BAD, so your only option is to trust us!"

"No it isn't!" Jessie pounded the table. "Because there's somebody else we can trust: Calliope."

"Calliope is DOOMING the universe!"

"You guys and Bill Cipher have done WAY more doom in half a month than Calliope did in a ***king billion YEARS!"

"He's right, you guys hurt our friends, so you're not our friends!" April joined, standing up. "We'll unite the Twenty Keys and discover the answers on our own! But we don't mind crushing you on the way!"

"Oh yeah?! Well, what'll you do if 'finding your own way' ends up destroying the universe?!"

"Then stupid us." Sheila shrugged passively. "I sure as hell rather go down a free sheila than workin' for blokes I hate."

"I AM GROOT!" Suki cheered in agreement.

"So if you don't mind," Sheila marched over to Sector W's cage, cracking her knuckles, "I'm gonna bust these wusses out and probably tear this ship a new one." Karen zipped in front of her, sprayed Sheila with pink gas, and put her to sleep.

"You kids aren't going ANYWHERE!" Plankton puffed to his muscular adult-size body. "One way or another, you're my prisoners, and I WILL get you over to our side! Be good kids and cooperate OR ELSE!" On his cue, Karen remotely electrified Sector W's cage as they screamed in pain.

"Thou art very hospitable." Fybi glared at him. "I am believing thy story more and more."

"You can keep us here as long as you want." Jessie crossed his arms. "We'll keep believing in Calliope."

"Oh, yeah? Well, I don't see Calliope rebutting Lord Gnik's story!"

"If your trump card is to threaten us, HI don't really think she needs to rebut!" April choked a chuckle, spreading laughter to her friends.

Hall of Doors

"Bluh!" Sheila startled awake on the side of the river that reflected the night stars. "Crikey… that computer got the jump on me!" She helped herself up. "Grrr… I should wake up and help the mates. …Or maybe…" She looked at the river and saw she was still beside Picture City. She looked further down on her left. The next portal was labeled Olden West.

"Plankton may be a liar… but I think I am an Awakener. So I guess I should do my job then." She jogged over to the portal and dove inside. (Play "Go West, Young Raccoon" from Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time!)

Stage 58: Olden West

Mission: Meet the Sixth Light.

Sheila spun out of a portal set on a large rock. She was standing atop a stone pillar towering over a deep canyon. Her skin quickly adapted to the hot, desert air, the morning sun shining from beyond the canyon walls. There was a skeleton laying dead next to a wooden sign that had the level's name written in black letters. In the distance behind the sign was a Western village set on a cliff.

Sheila first walked across a broken minecart track hanging over the edge of her pillar. From here, she faced a series of rock pillars, and could jump to grab the rugged side of the closest one. She climbed around the pillar to get in position to jump to the next one, doing so quickly before this pillar tumbled into the canyon. Sheila clutched a thin ledge to climb around the next pillar, dodging the Snapdragon that popped out of the roof above her, then she jumped to the next pillar before that one fell. This pillar was divided in two with a narrow gap between both halves, so while in midjump, Sheila planted her hands and feet against either half and wall-walked across.

Before the pillar fell, Sheila jumped out the other end and landed on a flat rock perched on a stone needle. She hopped across a series of these rocks as they were quickly sliding off into the chasm—an Electoon cage was revealed under one of the rocks, so Sheila shattered it with a Light Sphere. After the last unbalanced rock, Sheila landed on a stable ground and saw somebody asleep on a robotic bull, like one would see in bars.

The person was laying on their front, letting their limbs dangle off the bull. They were about Sheila's height, but shorter, wearing a black cowboy hat, pants and boots, and a sleeveless shirt loaded with ammo. "Yaaaawn…" Kimaya Heartly yawned and stretched awake. After scratching her sore butt, she hopped off the bull. "Dang, I was ridin' that thing so fast, it flew outta the bar and straight to here. …Who are you?" She noticed Sheila.

"Is this your dream?" the raccoon asked.

"It better be. Raccoon people ain't real, are they?"

"I'm as real as they come!" she yelled offended. "Mah name's Sheila."

"Name's Kimaya. Ah'm wanted around these parts, so I wouldn't associate with me."

"Well, I'm a scurvy pirate that sails the seas."

"Oh, you and I are from totally different climates."

"Don't matter what climate I'm in, because I'll explore it all!" Sheila smirked.

"Ahright, thin. Let Kid Kimaya show ya the ropes." Kimaya grabbed two pistols from her belt.

The two hopped into a minecart and rode it on a track hanging dangerously over the chasm. The track zipped down and back up suddenly before becoming straight. It steadily curved leftward as wooden targets began popping up, and Kimaya used her cowgirl guns to shoot them expertly. Hitting the targets earned points, but when the track threatened to drive them off, she had to quickly shoot a green switch to turn it on the right path. The track zoomed down again, Kimaya hurriedly shooting the targets on the right, then they suddenly traveled a left curve as the targets passed by faster, but Kimaya had each one blasted.

The track went up a ramp and flew them across a huge gap, landing bumpily on the next track. Kimaya shot the targets that were more far away on either side. Eventually, the track led upward and came to stop on the cliff before the village. A wooden cage opened and allowed them to break open an Electoon cage for shooting all targets. "Dang varmints put 'em in a cage in a cage? That ain't straight." Kimaya said.

When they passed the gate to what the sign read as 'Yold Town', Hoodlums stood on the houses' balconies and burst out of the doors, shooting wildly like the cowboys they were dressed as. Kimaya pulled Sheila behind a rock, standing up and dealing quick shots to her enemies before ducking back. "These guys-a been showin' their selves a lot. You good with a gun? Y'all c'n help."

"Ah only need my fists!" Sheila fist-palmed. She ran out and swiftly dodged the gun-slinging Hoodlums, sending Light Spheres to knock them out cold. The girls covered the whole town and shot down each Hoodlum. That's when a Heckler, a large armored Hoodlum with a shoulder cannon, came out of the saloon. Not only was Sheila unable to punch him, but when she tried, a Hoodoo protected him with a barrier. The Hoodoo was seen on the building roofs, so while Sheila was throwing punches and forcing him to make barriers, Kimaya shot her twin pistols and destroyed the exposed Hoodoo.

Afterwards, Sheila charged her Super Light Sphere and destroyed the Heckler in one punch. "Hoooo-WEE!" Kimaya cheered, walking up as she blew her guns free of smoke. "That packed more punch than a gorilla in a boxing ring!"

"Man, I can punch WAY harder than that! …Plus some!"

Sheila grabbed a blue Swing Can that was left by the Heckler. They hurried to the north side of town, jumping up some barrels onto a house's roof, and from there, Sheila swung a series of Purple Lums leading up to a cliff, bringing Kimaya with her. From the cliff, the girls viewed out into the open desert, and had naught but a brown horse to be their steed. "This pardner's Exodus." Kimaya said. "Don't ask why. Hop awn on!" Kimaya perched herself on the horse while Sheila chose to stand on it.

Kimaya kicked the horse's sides as Exodus raced across the desert winds, grains of sand blowing everywhere. Hoodlum Horsemen rode their own ugly stallions; Sheila and Kimaya shot their choice projectiles to send them hitting the sand. The desert was extremely vast with no specific direction to go. The horse galloped and galloped, and more Hoodlums rode in to attack them. "Sigh, these things are more repetitive than recycled clichés." Kim said. Eventually, they discovered a Hoodmonger hiding among some boulders on the east side. Sheila KO'ed him, earning herself a red Power Can.

They rode the horse around the desert some more, desperate to find where the Strong Fists can be used. Around the middle of the desert, they found a long boulder with a sealed wooden door camouflaged in it. Sheila punched it open with her stronger fists and rescued the Electoons inside. They kept exploring the desert and found a gorge on the west side, with a high cliff on the other side and two rock needles that had wooden platforms. Sheila jumped down into the gorge and found a green Power Can. She then jumped up some platforms leading back to the starting ledge and used the Spin Fists to make the wood platform (which had a propeller on it) float up.

However, they couldn't jump on it when it was aloft, so they waited for the platform to come back down before jumping to it. Then Sheila made it float up, allowing them to jump to the next platform, and making it float up to the high cliff. "Hoo, finally." Kimaya said afterwards. "That section was more annoying than-"

"-Western similes." Sheila interrupted.

The duo viewed a train track that sloped down on their right. "Don't worry, there ain't been a train in ages." Kimaya said. "I just have it to do this." Kimaya hopped on and began to grind the right rail, so Sheila did the left. Targets sprouted up on either side, tempting the girls to make use of their sharpshooting. The track ended, so they jumped to a set of two unbalanced rocks placed on needles that fell over quickly. They resumed grinding on the next track, shooting more targets as the track curved left and passed over another Western village, in which targets were hidden in the alleys and on rooftops. The tracks ended at a massive rock fissure. It seems they shot all the targets, for they were given an Electoon cage.

Within the huge rock fissure, the girls began going down a steep, wide slide. Wood targets hung on the cliffsides and floated above via propellers, so they once again shot them down as they slid. Sheila took a secret narrow path on the left, quick-punching a row of three targets overhead. She got back on the main path as she and Kimaya drifted around corners of a snaky part of the slide, shooting targets that surprised them from behind the corners. They were brought out of the fissures, and the girls had to slow down to avoid falling over the long drop on either side.

They jumped a huge gap, shooting three targets set on ledges on their left and right, and landed on the next slide as it swerved left. The slide turned steep, the change of speed was sudden, and they rapidly shot targets on their whipping ride down. They were given another Electoon cage for their excellent shooting. They now faced a short, straight path between old board fences, leading to a small shack. Chuck Norris appeared to be awaiting them. "Awe, this guy's fun. You'll never guess where he keeps his gun."

Smirking, Kimaya Heartly slowly stepped forward. She softly stroked the handle of her gun, ready to whip it out when the time came. The metal on her boots clanked with each soft step. Her eyes were narrowed on Chuck Norris, who was fearless and unmoving. There was no visible gun on his belt, so would he be ready? Then, when the tip of Kimaya's boot crossed the halfway mark—an arm popped out of Norris's beard and shot a gun, Kimaya dodged her head right, flicked her gun at, and shot him in the head. She blew the smoke from her gun in victory. "That's how ya do it."

She and Sheila stepped over Chuck's body and went through the shack that actually had nothing more than its front. They were in a garden with some boulders. A white key the size of a large sword was stuck in the ground. (End song.)

Kimaya clutched the key's handle in her right hand and pulled it out. The border around the handle had angel wings, there was a keychain with a pink five-point star, and the teeth were designed like a blue star with yellow and white tips. "Say, this looks like the big key my mom has."

"Strewth, that's a Keyblade, ain't it?" Sheila asked.

"I reckon it is. Always thought it looked cool." Kimaya swung it around.

Wait… Does this mean this girl's a Light? Sheila thought. Which would make her The Keeper! The Keeper of what, though? "Why do ya think it's here?"

"Ah dunno. Always wanted one, maybe?"

"Hmm." The raccoon shrugged. Maybe I'm wrong. …Sheila turned around and saw the portal pedestal perched on a short rock. "Well-p, there's the exit portal!" she pointed. "I'll just do a little jig and be out of this place." She confidently marched toward the portal, absolutely certain that much would happen.

But then a pink energy ball shot down and destroyed the pedestal. Sheila blocked her eyes from the dust of the explosion before staring at it in shock, as did Kimaya. "Going somewhere?" They looked up when Mr. Dark floated down.

"YOU!" Sheila grit her teeth.

"I hope Plankton has you all trapped well, because your dream self isn't leaving this world anytime soon. Without the exit portal or a Bubble Dreamer, you are trapped here. Oh, and I took the liberty of destroying the portal at the start of this level, too."

"Are you bloody stupid?" Sheila folded her arms. "Jessie's trapped with me, too. I'll wake up and tell him to save me!"

"I will not make it easy for him. The Hoodlums are patrolling the Hall of Doors this very moment. But don't worry, we still need you to find the Seventh Light. We just need… a bit of time." Mr. Dark spun his cloak like a vortex and vanished.

"Bloody drongo." Sheila cursed. "I'll see ya later, Kimaya." She yanked her own tail, and her body turned to mist when she startled herself awake.

"Hm… That was weird." Kimaya said passively, studying her Keyblade. "This thing ain't half bad… I wonder where I could find this…!"

An image flashed in her mind of a mountain of rubble where dozens of coal trucks roamed. She saw a poor, dying town and a factory. Then she saw a white stone cube with foreign writing.

Cleveland Park

Kimaya woke with a slight start. She noticed Django was leaning on her with his hand over hers. "Hey, Django! Ever heard o' personal space??" Kimaya shook the skeleton into waking up.

"Whut, wah wah?" Django stuttered. "O-oh, hey. Heh, 'guess I sang us to sleep."

"You looked so adorable!" Rhyme laughed as she, Beat, and Kaleo approached.

"That Fairy Girl just left with those two nerds!" Beat jigged. "Now we got no one to listen to our beats."

"Ugh, now my back's sore." Kimaya stood up and stretched. "What you guys wanna do? We can't go to our houses without makin' room for Leo."

"Hey, I am very sensitive about my weight!" Leo shouted, not knowing that a girl in a ninja suit was dashing up to him. "My mom keeps feeding me veggies, and I've been starving like-"

The ninja girl leaped and kicked the giant in the head, toppling him down. The Gang gaped at the ninja, who landed on her feet in a fighting pose. Without bothering to speak, the black-haired ninja flew to and fro, knocked Beat out, knocked Rhyme out, and stomped Django so hard in the face, it was surprising his skull didn't break. Kimaya tried to fart gas at her, but the ninja seemed unphased as she dodged behind, grabbed Kimaya's arms, and pinned her to the ground.

Struggling to look up in this position, Kimaya saw G.U.N. helicopters swarming into the area. Soldiers dropped down with ropes and surrounded them. Stan Smith, a man with a blue tuxedo, black hair, and big chin, marched toward Kimaya. "Why wait to do later what we can just do right now? That's what I always say." He smiled proudly.

Dream Realm; Mado no Nikki

"La, la la, la la…" Spongebob hummed a merry tune as he was exploring a forest of pine trees, with a gigantic Mayan-like image floating in the sky. "Exploring the Dream Realm is so much fun! I don't know what this place is, but there are so many cool creatures here! Some of them would actually make great faces! Ahem… BLUUUURRGH." He transformed into a sperm-like creature spewing ooze. He changed back and, "WEEEAAACK!" turned into an elephant with a humanoid skull and huge jaw. "And also… irk…" He scrunched his face with his hands. "GLUUAACK-!" He morphed into a multi-armed creature oozing blood.

Magician's House; same dreamscape

"Sniff… sniff…" Murfy fluttered out of the guestroom in The Magician's house, crying. "My Manual… oh, what'll I do without my Manual…"

He floated into the kitchen and saw the Magician was not here. "Sigh, maybe I'm just hungry… I need a snack. Hey, Mado, got anything to eat?" he asked the dreamscape's owner, Madotsuki when she walked by.

The brown-haired girl looked at him with tired, closed eyes. Saying nothing, she pinched her cheek, and her body dispersed into bubbles, returning to its Start Bed. "Okay, screw you." Murfy remarked. "Sigh, where is that Magician?" He floated to the purple curtains, which hid a stairwell leading down. Curious, Murfy slowly flew down and into the open door.

In this new corridor, Murfy peeked into a room where Bubbled monsters lay adrift around the ceiling. The monsters in these bubbles looked like… Lums. Red and yellow ones. Some were sprouting arms or legs in disproportionate areas, some were oozing slop of various colors. The Magician, Ales Mansay, appeared to be stretching one of the bubbles, along with the leg of the Lum inside it. "What is he doing…" Murfy narrowed his eyes at him. He gasped- "Wait a minute!" and hid behind the doorway.

"I remember reading something in the Manual…" he thought aloud quietly. "Something's supposed to happen around this part… and it's because of-!" He gasped again. "That kid is in danger! I need to go find Sheila and-!" He hurriedly flew back up to the kitchen—a team of Hoodlums blocked his path to the exit portal and the house's exit.

"Where do ya think you're goin', Smiles?!" André the Black Lum asked snarkily, flying close to Murfy in his fly-like body.

"Yes, 'Smiles.'" Murfy whipped around and found Ales Mansay smirking at him. "Stick around. The party's just beginning!"