69. Imagineers

Enies Lobby

Ernie the Chicken grabbed large debris from the ruined town and chucked them at Chris, who kept a safe distance and blew up the debris with combustion. Through the smoke, Ernie jumped to surprise Chris with Finger Pistol, but the boy dodged his strikes before grabbing the chicken's fingers in his hand. He set fire to the feathers, Ernie yelped before kicking Chris away. Ernie's hand was still aflame, so he Shaved behind Chris and singed his hair, and Chris screamed before spinning a flame shockwave.

Ernie jumped the flames and swung a Tempest Kick, missing Chris as the boy shot his Combustion Beam up. Ernie Shaved beside Chris and landed another punch, then chucked feather kunai at his forehead eye. Chris burned the feathers, then used Rocket Boost to jump over the incoming assassin and land on the ground. "You don't talk much, do you?" Chris asked. Ernie shook 'no' and resumed throwing punches, Chris dodging as he kicked flames at his cloak.

Don Quixote Sugar surfed the sky on a Song Road and evaded her little brother's String Bullets. She bellowed a Sonic Wave to crack the ground around him, then Doffy Jr. flew up and landed a kick against Sugar's gut. After she fell, Doffy saw that Maddy and Sheila were about to enter the Tower of Justice, using the giantess Ururu's arm as a bridge. Doflamingo shot ten strings over to stab Ururu in the back.

"HUU!" The giantess gasped and threw her arm up just as Maddy and Sheila were crossing it. Sheila thankfully landed inside the tower, but Maddy was taking the fall into the maelstrom. "I GOT YOU!" Mabel Pines swung by on her grappling hook and caught Maddy, bringing her back up to the safe ledge.

Ururu was being pulled back by Doflamingo's strings, so Sugar sent a swarm of Bad Notes to chop them. Sugar ran up to throw punches at her brother, but Doffy dodged and impaled his strings through the ground, yanking them up to cut a strip of ground, but Sugar flipped aside and spewed another Song Beam. Doflamingo rapidly shot strings that all missed Sugar, but his brows cocked when he noticed something. "You seem to cover your chest a lot. Are you holding onto something?" Doffy grinned mischievously.

Sugar looked down and answered, "I'm developing breasts. For 12 years, I couldn't know what it means to grow. I couldn't cut my hair, I couldn't clip my nails… but now I'm finally changing. My breasts are a symbol of my growth."

"That's very poetic! NOW I know where to hit!" Doflamingo resumed his endless array of strings.

"Ow… My back hurts…" Ururu grunted. "I think I should shrink down… before my suit takes too much damage."

"Can that grappling hook get me across?" Maddy asked.

"It doesn't reach far enough, we need something that can fly or something!" Dipper said.

"On it!" Grenda put Maddy over her back and ran several yards away from the edge. "This is for DESTINYYYY!" Grenda ran, leaped over the abyss, and flapped her arms.

A rendition of "Bicycle Built For Two" was heard from somewhere. Grenda was flying over the roaring abyss using the strength of her arms. Maddy held tight onto her, terrified at the thousand-foot drop and utterly amazed Grenda was flying. Dipper, Mabel, and Candy gaped, and the Teen Ninja witnesses nearly choked on their saliva. From Sparky's vision, Nefarious was royally baffled.

But you'll look sweet! Upon the seat! On a bicycle built… for two! The song ended at this line when Grenda landed in the Tower of Justice entrance. "My dad taught me how to do that!" Grenda said. "Now GO, Maddy!" she stated seriously. "Find the Gibberish Rock for all of us!"

"O-Okay!" Maddy headed inside, leaving Grenda to fly her other friends across.

The Gilligan Triplets were charging through a hallway of Teen Bikes with faces, shooting the operatives with no pilots commanding them. "They must've been given life by Bob's Devil Fruit power." Haylee deduced, smashing the bikes' windshields with her wrench. "He's close, I can feel it."

"You ain't thinking of fighting him, are ya?" Harry questioned as he and Artie shot the enemies with Diffusion Rifles. "We shoulda brought better weapons if we were taking on a CP10 member!"

"I already have what I need!" Haylee said confidently, clutching her wrench. "Bob may commit murders, but he's an honorable carpenter. He'll fight in his own way, especially against me."

"Sounds a bit too optimistic-" Harry said—he was punched in the face by Artie. "I WAS MAKING A POINT, what's your deal?!"

"I'm sorry, Harry!" Artie started dancing. "Something's come over me! Or else I wouldn't be caught dead shakin' my booty."

"Krr!" Harry was dancing to the sound of a Spanish guitar. "It must be musicbending! But who…"

"¡Hola niños!" Rodrigo Añorga was in a left passage, strumming his guitar. "Glad you can be in time for my concert… OF DEATH!"

Haylee leapt forth and BASHED the boy in the head with her wrench. "'EY, what gives, man?!"

"Earplugs!" Haylee pointed at her ears. "A carpenter's best friend! Now tell me where Bob is!" She aimed her wrench at his neck.

"Uah! Señor Bob is down the hall! Please don't hurt my neck, I need it to sing!"

"Good sport." Haylee whacked him in the stomach. "I'll leave him to you. Be back in a jiffy!" She ran ahead.

When Sheila made it into Enies Lobby, she was joined by Mason and Haruka, leading them up the stairs and across a third-floor hall. "Sheila, what makes you think your mom is in this direction?" Haru asked.

"I have a very keen nose, mate. If that ain't the smell of beer-covered fur, then I need me nostrils checked."

Sheila was several feet ahead of them with her Mobian speed- "UUH!" Her feet sunk into a liquid part of floor—she ditched her sandals and jumped back to solid land. "What the bloody hell is this?!"

Haruka bent over and stuck her finger in the goop, which was green and in square parts like the floor tiles. "It's some kind of tar… but from a distance, you couldn't tell. This could trap anyone."

"Courtesy of Megan the Prankster." They looked across the pool and saw Ashei Winters. "Be wary of what lies underneath." She blew her horn and summoned a tentacled beast from the tar pit. The beast slammed a tentacle at Sheila, who jumped on and ran across, punching the creature in the eye before jumping over to Ashei.

"Well, I run better without shoes!" Sheila gripped the teen's coat. "Now tell me where Mum is or I'll clock ya in the teeth!"

"The raccoon woman will be down a hall on your left. Good luck trying to rescue her."

"I'll bring her back and we'll clock you together!" Sheila pushed her and ran forward.

"Sigh, I guess we have to fight this thing ourselves now." Mason said.

"At least Sheila's fast, she'll be back soon." Haru replied.

"Hm… I wouldn't count on it." Ashei smirked.

Haylee Gilligan made it to the end of her hallway, reaching to grab the doorknob. The door sprouted a face and shouted, "HUAH HAH HA HA! THAT TICKLES! I'm alive, by the way." Haylee bashed the door senseless and kicked it open. "BOB!"

She was in a construction room with scaled-down building scaffolds, steamrollers, and bulldozers that all had faces. "Oh ho ho! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon, Haylee!" Bob said perkily as always. "You know, it's impolite to barge in on someone during a project. One missed nail is one less eye!"

"I just hope you had your morning cup of coffee."

Bob gasped loudly. "! You…"

"Yes, Bob. I heard from President Business what you did. Why you were banished from Legola…"

During training, Lord Business showed Haylee a black-and-white security footage. In the silent video, a building inspector was scolding Bob, and was refusing a bribe Bob held out. When the inspector wasn't looking, Bob hit him with his hammer and knocked him out. He covered the inspector with cement and flattened him with a steamroller. Bob built a Lego house over the cement and acted casual.

"It's not even easy to kill a Legoan." Haylee said. "You're crazy without your coffee."

"It's a character flaw of mine." Bob shrugged. "Good thing I drank three cups today, BOY am I ready to kill! You don't honestly think you can whack me with that little wrench, do you?"

"Oh contraire." Haylee pressed a button that expanded the width of her long wrench. Seeing a bunch of scattered wood around, Haylee zipped about, threw some pieces in a pile with her wrench, got some nails from the table, and began rapidly hammering them in to keep the mini hotel steady. "I've been training with Lord Business! You've been keeping me at a snail's pace, but now I have the swift reflexes of a Legoan!"

"Howdy do!" Bob gaped. "Well, I say I'm in for a challenge! But this room falls a bit short. How about we move to a bigger playground?"

"What'd you have in mind?"

"Take a look at my Dimension Transporter!" Bob indicated the circular Lego device. "Although it was made from the lifeless Lego Dimensions set, my Life-Life Fruit powers made it the real thing! Inside is a dimension I constructed all on my own, and I would be honored if you could see it."

"Sure thing!" Haylee raised her wrench. "I'll beat you in your own playground!"

"Watch your mouth, Haylee! You might chip off your tongue." Bob hopped over and activated the purple, blocky portal. "Ready when you are."

"I'm ready!" Haylee ran up the mini stairs. She and Bob jumped in the vortex together, warping to a land where the ground and sky were Legos. (Play "Kirby Boss Theme Medley" from Smash Bros. Brawl!)

Boss fight: Bob the Builder

Haylee landed on a yellow Lego platform and watched Bob plummet over the edge. The carpenter rose from the depths in a Lego robot with wrecking ball fists. "Huhuhuhu!" The wrecking balls had laughing faces. "I'm gonna squish ya! Huhuhuhu! Guts and whatnot!" Haylee evaded the Ballbot frightfully, for she didn't want their faces to be the last thing she sees upon death. It didn't help that the materials around the field had sentience and were jumping around as well. Haylee had to clock them on the head with her wrench to knock them out. Still avoiding the wrecking balls, she collected some thin metal bars, rainbow-shaped Legos with big teeth, along with ropes and nails.

Haylee fixed the Legos into large bear traps, which she stood on as the wrecking balls came to her. When they swung down, she jumped off, pulled the rope, and trapped the wrecking balls in the teeth. Bob was unable to pull them free since the traps were hammered down, giving Haylee the chance to run across a ball's chain and start bashing their base with her wrench. Haylee destroyed the left arm link, then hopped over and broke the right before jumping back to the platform. Bob's robot leapt onto the platform to begin chasing Haylee with bulldozer wheels.

It was then the player's camera started scrolling and revealed more of the platform, as it was time for Haylee to run. There was a giant face between the vehicle's wheels, spitting Banzai Bills that Haylee ducked left or right. The path reached its end, forcing Haylee to start jumping floating brick platforms like a Mario level. Bob's robot grew propellers to float and chase her, and cannons shot Bullet Bills at Haylee. Haylee could bat the projectiles with her wrench up to Bob's propellers. She had to be mindful of his Banzai Bills, because they would destroy a line of platforms at her current level. Thankfully, after seven Bullet Bills to the propellers, the Lego robot plummeted down the abyss.

Bob jumped out of the cockpit and used Moon Walks to bypass the platform course, and Haylee kept moving to outrun him. Eventually, she could set foot on a stable ledge and watch Bob fall below. Almost instantly he emerged on the top of a cannon totem. The totem moved left and right depending on Haylee's position, and the materials available to her were blocks and cannons. Haylee had to again hit the living objects with her wrench, then she could stack her own cannon towers. She couldn't stop anything atop the cannons, so she had to set the cannons at levels equal to Bob's cannons. She would have to lure Bob's totem in front of her own and avoid getting hit while her cannon shoots one of his.

After all five of Bob's cannons were destroyed, his totem was a barren cylinder. But he quickly reconfigured it with spikes, turned it horizontal, and rolled it toward Haylee. The young carpenter grabbed two pickaxes and began climbing the wall behind her, and Bob's spiked roller gave chase. There were faces on the wall that Haylee had to maneuver around, lest they spit her. Eventually, Haylee made it to the ceiling and had to use her pickaxes to climb across it. Bob's spiked roller was still able to cling to the ceiling, and Haylee maneuvered around hanging pipes that tried to munch her.

Haylee got above a slide and dropped onto it, sliding to an outside region of the Lego dimension, where Haylee ran along a thin path surrounded by ocean. Bob slid down and was caught by a monster truck with a scary face. It sent small toy cars at Haylee, who batted them away while also bashing upside-down traffic cones to their normal position. The spiked traffic cones punctured Bob's tires, and once they were gone, Bob reshaped his car into a boat and sped along the sea. He collected materials out at sea to forge cannons and start shooting Haylee's foothold.

When the cannonballs shattered, they revealed materials for Haylee to collect herself, and little by little, she could create a waterbike. She sped out onto the open waters and was pursued by Bob, who shot torpedoes and forced Haylee to jump her bike. Haylee rammed boxes out at sea and forged twin harpoons. She sped up to a lone rock, made a tight U-turn around it, and got aligned with Bob's boat before shooting the twin spears. Bob's boat was rendered helpless, and Haylee seized the chance to run across one of the harpoon lines and start bashing Bob with her wrench.

"Self-destruct!" Bob pushed a button on his boat and used Moon Walk to escape. In the five seconds she had, Haylee cut off the boat's engines, made a jetpack out of them, and flew away before the craft exploded. Her jetpacks were faster than Bob, but there were already Missile Bills in the area to provide him backup. Haylee batted the Bills away, but Bob doubled the strength of his Moon Walks to outrun her. Haylee was now soaring over the Lego clouds in her search for him. She slowed down before hitting a King Bill that launched up from below, then sped up when a King Bill appeared directly above.

That's when a gigantic blimp emerged with Bob the Builder in the cockpit, and a giant devilish face on the balloon. Its dozens of cannons unleashed swarms of Missile Bills, but Haylee was quick in batting them away. She set foot on the deck underneath the floating fortress, running around to hit cowering materials. She formed the parts into a robot suit and used it to break down the walls in her way, as well as attack the Gun Guys shooting at her. Haylee got under a hatch and jumped up through it. Once inside the blimp's balloon, she used her suit to jump to several platforms and destroy the power generators.

The fortress trembled before exploding into thousands of Legos. Haylee's robot shattered with it, and as she was taking the rapid plummet from the sky, she grabbed a spring in her wrench, put it under herself, and softened the impact of the landing. She bounced high into the air, and seeing materials falling everywhere, she grabbed some and whipped them up into a racecar. She landed in the car, and realized she was on a train track. CHOOOOOOO! Haylee looked back in panic, seeing none other than Thomas the Tank Engine speeding to destroy her, having been given its face by Bob's power.

Haylee stomped the gas pedal and zoomed her racecar across the track, pressing the jump function to dodge boulders. "OUCH! AHH!" Thomas's face was taking the blow of the boulders. "Bob, how could you give a TRAIN a FACE?!"

"No one likes a whiner, Tom!" Bob said cheerily. "Now speed up and decimate her!"

The train increased in speed, so Haylee pushed more gas out of her car as she sped up a steep hill. Haylee gasped, seeing a sign that said DEAD END. The minute her car shot up over the hill, she jumped out and let it explode against a wall that was camouflaged like the sky. She looked down and saw Thomas was struggling to get up the hill. "I THINK I can… I THINK I can…"

"Come on, Tom, you can do it!" Bob cheered, blowing the whistle. "FULL THROTTLE!"

An idea sparked in Haylee's head: using the available materials, she began to whip up another portal machine. Bob was ten seconds from making it up even at full speed, but Haylee's quickened handiwork constructed the portal in time. "I, think, I—CAAAAAAHHHH!" The train zoomed into the purple vortex without realizing.

"I knew you would." Haylee smirked.

Outside, the living train BURST out of the portal and through the wall of the construction room. Outside the Tower of Justice it went, and down he goes into the maelstrom. Bob managed to jump out of the craft, but the haphazard act left the carpenter in pieces. "AAAH!" Haylee stomped her foot beside his severed head.

"It's only fitting for a student to surpass her teacher." Haylee said as she picked the head up.

"Just a second there, Kiddo!" Bob said perkily. "I didn't recommend those private tutoring lessons!"

"Yeah, Business taught me a lot… but in the end, you guided me for most of the way." Haylee took the Legoan's hat and put it on herself. "Did I do it?" She winked.

Bob smiled. "Yes you did."

"Heehee! Now byebye!" With that, Haylee kicked the severed head and sent him falling into the maelstrom. The scattered body parts scrambled over to the hole and dropped down after him. She said to her wristwatch, "This is Haylee. I defeated Bob. Getting ready to thrash more Teens." (End song.)

In the first floor foyer of the tower, Aisa was nimbly dodging Karin Uzumaki's punches, and when the Nimbi attempted to kick her in the chest, Karin dodged right and kicked Aisa off her feet. That's when Morgiana flew in from above Karin's right, denting the floor with her feet after missing the red-haired girl, but Morgiana kicked off and rocketed to shove Karin against a pillar.

Thirty Anti Guys surrounded Maddy in a passage, all diving at her, but using her Observation, she dodged each one without getting scratched. She got outside their circle and punched twin Armament fists to blow the crowd down. "The infamous Light, huh?" Maddy turned to face Cardin Winchester, wielding his black mace. "Knocking down a horde of Anti Guys like they're jokes, I guess you are worth the effort. But you're alone now…" Cardin approached with his mace raised. "So I'm walking home with the prize!"

Maddy easily dodged the swings from his weapon, and when Cardin shot fire from the crystal in the mace, Maddy punched an Armament fist forward and blocked. Cardin whipped the mace at her, but Maddy clasped it in the armored hand and squeezed 'til it broke. "Why you-!" Cardin threw a punch-

An unsettling feeling in the air knocked the teen unconscious. "You're not worth the effort." Maddy remarked.

"Maddy, there you are!" Carol and Dillon ran up from behind Cardin. "Come on, we know where the Gibberish Rock is located. The blueprints say there's a secret passage, let's go!" Maddy nodded, running over Cardin's body as she followed.

After Zach distracted Sky Lark with his Skeleton Clone, the boy made it to the third floor of the tower. "That was a risky move on my part." He panted. "Thankfully, I remembered the Skeleton Clone only works on Fridays for five extra cents. Now I must help Maddy find the Gibberish Rock. Only when she reads it will she be able to exempt herself from all her future English classes." I can also copy off her answer and exempt myself, too! It's the perfect plan.

Zach noticed a bunny in the hallway, twitching its nose like an innocent little animal. "Ooo, a bunny! You know, I'm pretty sure bunnies eat dogs." He scratched his chin in thought. "Or do I have it backwards? Eh, let's try it! C'mere, little critter." Zach chased the bunny and followed it into a cracked-open door. "Oh?"

"Hee hee hee! I missed you too, Nummy-Nums!" Megan Parker lay on a bed and nuzzled one of her dozen bunnies. "I missed yoooouu. Huh?" She looked up. "Oh, it's you again. Whaddyou want, Boob?"

"I'm not a boob! I'm a fool!"

"That's a synonym."

"No, this is." Zach held a pack of cinnamon.

"Whatever. But you're the Light's brother, aren't you?" Megan sat up. "I wonder if she would turn herself over if I threatened to kill you?"

"Oh yeah?" Zach stepped forward. "We'll see if I- AAAAH!" He slipped on a banana peel and fell back. "OAF!"

"The oldest trap in the book was lying right there and you didn't see it." Megan climbed off her bed. "How are you going to beat a prankmaster like-" She stepped on a pencil.

"WATCH IT, LADY!" The pencil jumped to its feet and rapidly punched her in the face. "Can't you see I'm tryin' to nap here?!" Megan was knocked back on her bed.

"Oh, I saw that banana! I just needed to get close enough to give Pencilton his milk."

Mr. Pencilton sipped a milk glass. "Thank ye, Zach!"

Megan recovered. "That's Bo-bobo Kempo, isn't it? I know General Guy uses it… Always looked stupid to me."

"Well, pardon me, but I find you too boring! Heh, that's 2 for me, 1 for you. But don't think I'm stopping there!" Zach made a fighting pose. "Get ready for Rock, Paper, Scissors!" (Cue miscellaneous Bo-bobo music. :P)

Boss fight: Megan Parker

Power Levels: Zach – 10. Megan – 2000

This is it, Zach. The moment you trained ten hours for. Zach thought with determination. The key to defeating your enemy is to lay the first strike! That's how 60% of battles are won. 30% are won through filling the enemy's pants with salami while 10% are won through buying them Cheetos. …I got a plan!

"Temperature Teddies, ATTACK!" Zach stood with a squadron of teddybears wielding thermometers. "AAAAHH!" They dashed stalwartly at Megan—there were strings attached to their butts, and they pulled a stretched spring off the wall as it retracted and stuck them all together.

"You spent all that time thinking, you didn't see me set all that up?" Megan laughed. "Face it, Dweeb, nobody escapes from my traps- huh?"

Zach and the bears donned hula girl outfits, rotating as they danced with their behinds still latched together. There was a teddybear being roasted on the stake in the center. "You turned this into a ritual?!" Megan questioned.

"Senator Beary has shamed his nation by distributing mittens to our neighbors. WE'RE SO COOOOOLD!" Zach and the bears shuddered in their grass skirts.

"YOU'RE SURROUNDING A BURNING BEAR!" Megan shouted at their 'logic.' "If you're STILL cold, PUT ON A SWEATER!"

"Our sweaters are going to more important tasks! The WAR against Short Skirts!"

"YAAAAAAAARRRR!" An army of sweaters charged forth across a desolate landscape.

"WHEEEEEE!" An army of skirts frolicked across colorful flowers.

The two respective areas were Megan's belly and armpits. "THEY'RE USING ME AS A BATTLEFIELD?!"

"I'M TIRED O' THIS WAR!" Zach readied a cannon. "Time to NUKE these fellas!" The bomb launched, destroying both armies and blowing Megan sky high.

"Grrr!" Megan recomposed and threw Tempest Kicks, cutting the floor around Zach so he would drop into the lower room. "Have fun in my killer whale tank!" But when she looked in to watch the spectacle, she saw Zach and the killer whale sitting on chairs, smoking pipes, and reading newspapers. "ORCY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh, look, Lady Gaga is traveling to Saudi Arabia." The whale said.

"Boy, won't she give Prince Ali a run for his money." Zach remarked.

"Mm-hm. Mm-hm." The whale nodded in uninterest. Then he started crying, "I WANNA BE A PRINCE SO BAD!"

"IT'S OKAY, BRO, I'M HERE FOR YOU!" Zach hugged him consolingly.

"DAMMIT, ORCY, TEAR HIM TO PIECES!" Megan stomped her feet impatiently.

"CAN'T YOU SEE THEY'RE HAVING A MOMENT?!" Spongebob Squarepants KICKED Megan into the whale tank, landing her in Orcy's mouth. The whale viciously swung her around before chucking back into her room. Zach leaped after and stood beside Spongebob.

"Spongebob! Late to the party, as usual."

"Don't mind me if I'm a showstopper." Sponge shrugged. "But I'm ready!"

"So, he's your friend, too?!" Megan shouted. "Ugh! Look, you can throw all the random crap you want at me. I'm the trained assassin here, I'll defeat you with my eyes closed! But first… Anyone up for cheese and nachos?" She smiled brightly and held up two packs of the tasty snacks.

"Ooo, yum!" Zach and Sponge began munching them.

Megan smirked. "HAH! You just ate my Super Sticky Cheese! Pretty soon, your throats will clog up, and your last breaths will be gooey and cheesy!"

"Oh, that's what YOU think!" Zach countered. "But we foresaw this trap and had the nachos replaced with lizard pee!"

"OH, GROSS! …Wait, then why did you eat it, anyway?"

". . ." Realization dawned on the two. "BLEEEEEHHH!" They started rolling around and puking.

"I THINK I NEED A THROAT TRANSFER!" Zach cried.

"Krusty Krab doesn't provide health insurance!" Spongebob wept.

"Now's my chance!" Megan Shaved all around the room, confusing the still-gagging fools. She moved so fast that they didn't notice the eggs she had chucked from each direction, and the eggs all splatted and covered them in the yolks. "The egg yolks of snow birds quickly harden and freeze, trapping anything inside! By the time it breaks for you, you'll be at the bottom of the maelstrom."

"Excuse me, Miss, you're standin' in my way."

"W-What?" Megan looked down and saw a tiny Spongebob and Sector GF, in which Spongebob was wearing a mustache and business uniform.

"As you can see," Spongebob said to the four operatives, "our Yolk Dome is coated in a 10-inch-thick shell that protects it from missiles and magical forces." He led the kids through the tiny door into the yolk. "Fifteen floors, complete with 10 swimming pools and gaming stations. In fact, it's so full of cool stuff, we could only afford one bed. That's not a problem for you, right?"

"Mabel, what are we doing here?" Dipper whispered.

"I don't know. But he gave us popsicles." Mabel held up four popsicles.

"Well, uh, it looks good!" Dipper played along. "I think we'll take it."

"Excellent! Just sign here."

The kids signed a paper on a clipboard. Zach peaked into the tiny window, nodding with approval. "That's what I call fine penmanship."

Zach picked up the Yolk Dome and chucked it off Enies Lobby, the inhabitants screaming as they plunged into the maelstrom. Zach turned to Megan wearing a fox costume. "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

"I think you missed the point somewhere." Megan said.

"GRAAAAH!" Zach burned with rage. "MEGAN, you're going to PAY for chucking my friends off like that!"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"I'm not holding back!" Zach formed quick hand signals. "Dad's Television no Jutsu!"

Megan was crushed under a couch that a fat dad was sitting on while watching TV in his underwear. "Aaaaaaahhh!" Megan fell into a dark abyss and hit a cushiony floor. Spotlights flashed on, revealing the Couch Daves and their giant dust bunnies.

"For a trillion football seasons, our bellies rumbled with the unending lust for the golden provisions!" Emperor Dave announced. "Many have tried, but alas, we cannot journey far from our land. Only YOU may cleanse our lust!" Megan gasped when she was dressed in a toga. "The legendary Huus Weef!"

"Housewife? . . ." Megan felt utter embarrassment right now. "And you want popcorn. (Golden provisions.) Go buy your own snacks, you dumb boobs."

"BOOOOOOOOBS!!" Suddenly the Daves were riled up, piling on Megan desiringly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LET ME GO! AAAAAHH!"

Now Megan was dressed in a cozy wool coat. "We don't want your nipples to have nippers." Dave said. The other Daves blushed goofily.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE FREAKS!"

"Speaking of freaks, have a GUN pop!" Zach swung a giant lollipop with GUN's logo and batted Megan away.

The assassin recovered in midair and began Moon Walking. "That's it! Time to use my electric floor trap!" She pressed a button on the wall. Zach gasped when the floor electrified except for his spot. "Now everywhere in this room is a death trap! Good luck finding a way out of this!"

"Heh. You pranksters are so cliché." Zach scoffed. "You really didn't think I would expect the classic shock-floor? Take a look." He aimed a S.P.I.C.E.R. at a cage with a bunny hanging by a rope.

Megan gasped. "JUNIPER!"

"If you want your bunny to be saved, you have no choice but to disable this death trap!"

"You…You wouldn't!"

But Zach said nothing more. He looked grim as his finger was glued to the trigger. It would burn the bunny's rope and end its life. Juniper looked so sad. Zach struggled with the inner conflict, risking this bunny's life for the sake of his own. He couldn't take it. Zach put the gun away and stepped off his spot. The electric floor burned him into soot.

Megan turned it off and set foot on the floor. "He… gave his own life?"

"Oh, ZAAAACH!" Juniper escaped from her cage, hopping over to cry over his remains. She spoke in a squeaky voice, "Zachary! I knew I wasn't a hostage worth expending. I told you to threaten Carrot, that tramp has it coming. Sniff… at least… you left me in your will. What did you give me?" She took a document out of Zach's remains. "HOLY SMOKES, MY OWN WARPLANE?!

"I'M HITTIN' RUSSIA!" The rabbit immediately hopped on her warplane and soared away from the tower. "So long, suckers!"

The echo of the maelstrom roared peacefully in her bunny ears. "HUUUURRRR!" However, that's when an angry Sector GF rocketed out of the depths and STRUCK the plane, destroying it as Juniper fell into the sea. "ZAAAAACH!" They shot back into Megan's room, blowing the assassin against the wall. Grenda grabbed a defibrillator, rubbed the two pads together, and zapped the pile of soot so it would reform into Zach.

"Guys, you saved me!" Zach beamed. "For a second, I thought I was actually-"

"YOU TOSSED US INTO A WHIRLPOOL!" they shouted together.

"I GAVE YOU POPSICLES!"

"STOP YELLING!" Megan shouted.

"Hey, this is an adult conversation!" Zach kicked Sector GF into a ball that rolled at Megan, who kicked back and sent them falling out of the tower again.

"This is insane! You countered every prank I threw at you, even when I had them all planned out! But you… No normal person fights like you do!"

"That's your fatal flaw, Miss Cosgrove." Zach said, folding his arms. "Even the most careful planning is useless to someone as unpredictable as I am. You rely on some metahuman power to generate pranks, but real pranksters get by with natural talent. And that's not all, you give pranksters a bad name. I concoct every whacky attack with pride in knowing that I'm giving someone somewhere a laugh. You only play with dirty pranks and want dirty results. Tell me something, when was the last time somebody besides you laughed at your tricks?"

"Are you joking? You can't tell me that all of those stunts you pulled were some 'natural talent.' AND MY NAME IS NOT MIRANDA!!"

"Then tell me, Not Miranda: if you're really the best prankster the World Government has to offer, hit me with your best trap."

"You asked for it!" Megan pressed a button, sprouting a spiked fence up around Zach, closed by a flaming lid from the ceiling. Megan followed this with a shrink ray to zap it down to size, and a crocodile to come and swallow it whole. "Ha! Enjoy yourself in there!"

"Beg pardon?" Megan gasped and whipped her head up. She narrowed her vision to make out the tiny speck on the ceiling. It was Zach encased in an Easter Egg.

The egg biggified and landed on the crocodile. "Just when the lid was coming down, I noticed one of the embers had a form that said he was two days from retirement. I deduced he was mentally checked out and saw that as my window to escape. The shrinking eggshell armor was optional. Face it, Megan. Your pranks are nothing to me. And to think a gal like you could've been the funniest in the chuckle hut, if you had a bit more spark to your snares."

Megan growled. She couldn't let herself be outsmarted by this fool. After all, none could get more foolish than Drake & Josh.

When working on the show, Miranda enjoyed her role as Megan Parker, designing her own whacky traps to snare the brothers on a weekly basis. She developed a habit of pranking the other actors, like when she left a present for Jonathan Goldstein to find, with a note that said it was from Nancy. Jonathan found a pretty necklace in the small box, but when he put it around his neck, he suddenly found it was too tight. No matter how much he tugged on it, it kept getting tighter. Eventually, he stopped breathing.

"I'm Megan Parker…" Miranda said with a distraught face. "It's what I do."

"I am Megan Parker…" The assassin grit her teeth. "I've always been Megan Parker…" She stomped up to Zach, "And I won't be humiliated by the likes of-" She stepped on the banana peel still on the floor. Her foot slipped up and she flew back toward one of the points on the corner of her bed. "Dammit."

The back of her head BUMPED against the brown peg, then she hit the floor. When Zach came to examine her, Megan's expression was dim, and drool leaked from her mouth. "Hmm… Maybe it was for the best." Zach said. "She was already cuckoo."

The Easter Egg hatched, revealing a yellow bird with a sign. "Buy one, get 10% off Kroger-brand lemonade!"

Behind Enies Lobby

Carol led Dillon and Maddy to a back shore of Enies Lobby, where they had view of the bottom of Mt. Mariejoa across a few yards of sea. Carol stepped on a spot of ground. "This is a secret trapdoor. According to the blueprints, you'll go through an underwater passage and get to the room where the rock is. If you want clarification, it's directly behind that part of the mountain." Carol pointed.

Dillon called Midna to yank the secret hatch open with her Hair Hand. Maddy looked nervously at the ocean, then down the dark shaft. "It's better going under than over, I guess."

"Good luck, Maddy." Dillon bowed. "Bring us home the gold."

Maddy climbed slightly down the shaft ladder. She stopped, still pondering Chris's words the other night. "…So, what do you guys think will happen after I read the Gibberish Rock?"

"Are we really gonna talk about this now?" Midna asked.

"Ruff ruff ruff!" Sparky was impatient.

"I'm just nervous is all. After everything I've been through, I'm about to realize some important destiny. What if I come out of there… and I'm a completely different person?"

Dillon looked away, remembering a similar dilemma with Vanellope a few days ago. Even now, he feared if that was the right move, if Peridot would serve as a worthy replacement. "…Nobody knows what's gonna happen." Dillon said. "All I know… is we came all this way and poured all our effort into getting you here. You have to see it to the end, for Mocha, Aurora, and everyone else. Just go! Hurry before any of the agents come."

"Right… It's now or never. Just let Chris know where I am." She sunk into the shaft and closed it.

Returning to the ruined town, Shade was absorbing Nya's punches in her palms, then grabbed the teen's fists to whirl and toss her away. Shade closed her eyes, sensing Maddy's location all the way across the island. Shade smiled. "You're wasting your time, Nya. In a few minutes, all your efforts will be in vain."

"What does that mean?!" Nya shot at Shade, but the echidna easily dodged the lasers and leapt to kick her in the face.

"Nya, it would be more worth your time to join our side. The Twenty Keys Prophecy will come true, no matter how much the Government tries to stop it. What do you have to gain from them?"

"A world of no more Kids Next Door!" Nya threw a flash bomb at the ground and blurred Shade's vision, allowing the teen to punch her.

Chris was incredibly sweaty after 10 minutes fighting Ernie. The chicken was still in top condition and was willing to go some more. Chris looked at his watch when the message was sent. "Heh… It's not over, yet. I can't let Maddy see me all beaten up when she comes back. I'm taking you out, Chicken! HERE I COME!" (Play "Chicken Fight" from Family Guy!)

Boss fight: Ernie the Chicken

Power Levels: Chris – 4095. Ernie – 4500

Chris charged at Ernie with twin flaming fists, but the chicken withstood the heat and grabbed them, spinning and swinging Chris around as he slammed the boy against some rubble. He released Chris, who shot at Ernie as a Flame Torpedo and drilled against his chest. Ernie used Iron Body to defend, then swiped his talon at Chris when he stopped, but the boy jumped and punched fireballs at Ernie's face. Ernie shook the fire off and tried to punch his Combustion Eye, but Chris slid under Ernie's cloak and kicked up at his crotch. "BAGAWK!"

Chris got back up and countered Ernie's punches. He saw a Teen Ninja speeding up on a bike, so with quick reaction, Chris jumped on the bike, slipped inside, and kicked the ninja out. Chris zoomed the bike toward Ernie and caught the chicken on the windshield. Ernie punched through the glass and grabbed Chris's neck, the boy swerving the bike uncontrollably before driving it into the maelstrom. As they whirled around the current, Chris was pulled out of the bike and punched by Ernie, but they both held their breath and kept fighting.

Melody saw them about to swirl into the whirlpool, but the water giant couldn't save them with Suigetsu holding her back. Chris and Ernie flushed down the maelstrom, down into a spiraling undersea cave that would take them who-knows-where. Eventually, they resurfaced inside a sewer, and Chris tossed a box of magazines to distract Ernie before shooting his Combustion Beam. The beam missed the evasive chicken, caving in the sewer ahead and giving the water nowhere to flow. It built up, and before long they were blown out of a hole, viewing Hollywood in all its glory.

Chris and Ernie landed outside a studio made to look like an airport, for this is where they were shooting Captain America: Civil War. Both opponents hopped up, Chris on the side of Captain America and Ernie with Iron Man. "Action!" Both teams of Avengers charged each other. Winter Soldier began his epic clash with Black Panther and Black Widow got flipped by Ant-Man. Chris and Ernie blended in perfectly and exchanged fists, the cameramen getting on every side to catch every detail of their motion.

Captain America ambushed Ernie and punched the back of his head, and Spider-Man yanked Chris over in a web trap. Chris burned the webbing and kicked Spider-Man in the head, and Ernie zipped behind Cap to Finger Pistol is back, swiping his vibranium shield. Chris shot a Combustion Beam, but the unbreakable shield blocked it, then Ernie tossed it like a Frisbee to hit Chris in the head. "AAAH!" He gripped his Combustion Eye.

Ernie smirked maliciously, but Chris fixed his headband back on. Ernie dropped the shield and ran to exchange more blows, enduring all Chris's Fire Fists. They fought their way into the airplane on the set and started it up. The Avengers watched as they took off for the sky. "Oh, guys, can I PLEASE be in Infinity War, pretty pleeeeaaaase?" Spider-Man begged.

The airplane tilted left, giving Ernie an advantage over Chris, then right, getting Chris on top of him. Ernie kicked, but missed and hit a lever that caused the plane to shoot down. It crashed close to a warzone island, the two flying out in the explosion and landing amongst the troops in green garb. Chris and Ernie donned green helmets and began shooting each other with machineguns. They laid nary a strike and decided to clash against each other's guns. The scuffle moved into the army base, where they both fell into a metal barrel that sealed. "Self-destruct in 3… 2… 1…"

The base exploded, sending the barrel flying across the world. The extreme speed and spinning didn't cease their fight, even when the barrel bumped against the top of a mountain and shot them out, they still exchanged punches across the sky. Eventually, they crashed through the window of a Japanese classroom, where students were hard at work completing a test. "YOU!" The teacher stopped their fight. "YOU LATE FOR CLASS! Sit down and take your test!"

Chris and Ernie exchanged dirty looks and sat beside each other. They determinedly filled in the answers as fast as they could, pencils continuously scratching along the paper, and every few minutes they glanced at the other. Ernie finished his test and went to plop it on the teacher's desk, and Chris was next to do so. While the teacher was grading, they began clashing with their pencils, wherein Chris scored some pokes in Ernie's feathers, then Ernie scratched above Chris's mouth. They locked fists for a minute before Teacher finished grading.

"You both fail! You know nothing of Japanese culture! You base everything off anime! Not everyone in Japan is 10-year-old girl or monster! GO BACK TO E-CLASS!" Ernie punched the teacher unconscious, then Chris shot twin fire beams to send him out the window. Chris jumped out and crushed Ernie under flaming feet, then their battle resumed as they knocked out several kids in the schoolyard.

It seems a Japanese girl left her magic wand by a tree, and a boy left his Power Rangers uniform under a bench. Chris seized the wand and transformed into a magical girl, and Ernie became the Red Ranger and raised his sword. Ernie blocked Chris's magic spells with the sword and slashed across the air. Chris used magic to fly, and Ernie activated Red Ranger's holo-wings to pursue Chris up into space. The stars were sparkly in this anime battle, for Chris summoned the stars to rain down upon the Chicken Ranger. Chris channeled full power to his wand and used the Kame Game Whatever. The powerful laser struck Ernie directly and sent him down to the Earth like a comet.

The Giant Chicken crashed into Enies Lobby, back where they started. Chris landed close by, panting after exhausting that much energy. "Gyah!" He remembered he was wearing a pink dress and blonde ponytail wig, so he threw the guise off. Unfortunately, Ernie was back on his feet.

"I didn't think I would have to do this, but you asked for it! I'm going PRIMAL!" Ernie's feathers sharpened and his eyes turned blood-red. With lightning speed, he Shaved around Chris and scratched him with his talons. Chris endured the pain, and when Ernie zipped to his front, he jumped and stomped in his face with Rocket Boost, burning the chicken and escaping his range. (Play "Diable Jambe" from One Piece!)

"Then I guess I'll have to do it, too!" Chris ripped off his headband. He punched the Combustion Eye and his body burst into flame. "AAAAAAHHHH!" The eye shone like a mini sun, Chris's skin burned red, his teeth grew sharp, and the ground melted around him. "I can go for some POULTRY!"

Ernie glared and zipped up, but Chris dodged without him noticing and KICKED Ernie from behind. The chicken blew through several ruined buildings, looking up as Chris rocketed above and blasted twin flaming cyclones. Ernie Shaved to dodge, swinging five Tempest Kicks that Chris dodged with Rocket Thrusts. He zipped down, grabbed Ernie by the neck, and shoved him against the ground while burning the poultry.

"Why did the chicken get burned in the fire?" Chris rocketed skyward. "TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! Say your prayers, you overgrown fowl!" With a tremendous charge to his Combustion Eye, a beam of supreme power was unleashed upon the chicken.

"BAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWK!"

Chris's forehead was smoking when his Fury Mode ended. He approached the black mass he had created. Ernie was now an overcooked Thanksgiving dinner, no feathers, just a black steaming body of meat. Chris took a piece off and ate it. "Blech. Undercooked." He continued eating as he walked toward the Tower of Justice, leaving his victory to speak for itself.

In a sudden strum of the orchestra, Ernie's eyes shot open to Chris's direction. (End song.)

Inside the tower

Sheila Frantic burst down a door to a room with a glass cage. "MUM!" She saw the raccoon woman lying down. "'ang in there, Mom, I'm bustin' ya free!" She spun her arm into a Light Fist and shattered the thick glass. "Mum!…" Sheila ran into the cage in bright spirits. "…?"

Marine startled awake, crouched on all fours like a predator. She faced her daughter, snarling with drooling fangs and murderous eyes. "…Mum?"

"AAAAH!" Marine tackled her daughter and bit Sheila in the shoulder. Sheila screamed and punched her mom in the head to scare her off. Sheila clutched her bleeding shoulder, still on her back as she looked up at the upside-down assassin with bowl-shaped hair. "Joey…"

The assassin knelt over her. "Tell me who that is…"

Underwater passage

Maddy walked the dark tunnel calmly, able to see the way forward with Observation Haki. She grew more nervous the further she ventured in the eerie quiet. All she had was her happy, innocent puppy to keep her consoled. At the end of this passage, she would read the stone that would establish her destiny. And what happened next was up to the universe.

Maddy stopped before a great steel door that blocked her way. She took a breath: "Sniiiiff… Sigh. This is it, Sparky. This is the kind of door they would hide a Destiny Rock behind. You ready?"

"Ruff!" Sparky panted excitedly.

"Alright… Then you're the first one who gets to see my secret power."

"AROO??" The puppy's ears shot up.

"Yep. I wanted to keep it secret from the others, even Shade doesn't know. But I might need to use it to break down this door. I'll turn it off soon as I do. And… here we go!" Sparky watched with extreme close attention when his master performed the act.

The steel door snapped off its hinges and fell forward. Maddy stepped through the smoke, flexing her arms after the minor exhaust of energy. "Still needs some getting used to… Alright, now where is that…?" She gaped.

Maddy was standing atop a mountain over a great, wide savannah. The giant golden sun was halfway below the horizon, creating a red sky. Maddy stood on the edge of the rock to savor the twilight.

"I specially requested Eldwin to install the hologram projectors." The dark voice said. "I thought it… to be a fitting scenery."

Maddy turned. The Poneglyph was there, atop a platform. And Rob Lucci stood before it. "Can you imagine a more beautiful place… to devour your prey."