71. He Who Defies Law

Enies Lobby

The silence continued for five minutes. Chris was the one to break it. "So… it's actually Zach. Zach Murphy. He's the Light. It was a fake prophecy."

"That's how I understand it." Melody replied.

"Sigh… Okay, I know we've all been asking it, but I'll throw it out." Chris approached the Poneglyph. "Who the hell has been WRITING all these damn ROCKS?!" He kicked the corner of it. The Poneglyph fell open like a cardboard box and exposed bundled-up anime characters.

"Uuuh. . . ." Everyone stared. There was a guy with a golden afro, an orange-haired boy in a black robe, a kid in a straw hat – you get it. They were still and looked worried due to their exposed cover.

"Crap, they spotted us, Bo-bobo!" Ichigo mumbled.

"Don't worry, guys, I have a plan." The afro man stood up with a megaphone. "Ahem: ATTENTION, children! You are in violation of Chapter 64, Article A, Section 16: The right for strange characters to be hidden inside boxes! You are hereby ordered to turn away and pretend you never saw anything, or…or… AAH, I can't think of anythi-i-i-ing!" Bo-bobo fell to his knees crying.

"Oh, for God's sake." Ichigo sighed.

"Um, guys?" A force pushed up from below. "Could all of you just—GET OFF OF MEEEEE!" Sora jumped to his feet and blew the six off. "Why was I the one who got treated like a mat?!"

"You look more three-dimensional than we do, we thought it wouldn't hurt." Luffy replied.

"Well, it seems you've discovered us." Yugi Muto said. "So we might as well come clean. We're the ones who wrote on the Poneglyphs you've been finding. We don't fully understand this prophecy or what's been happening, we were only following instructions. It all started when our universes were suddenly invaded by interdimensional forces, as a result of something called a Multiverse Portal. Sound familiar?"

"The Multiverse Portal?" Dipper questioned. "The portal disappeared suddenly, but we don't know why."

"Well, whatever the case, all our universes are falling apart, and it all centers around this universe." Ichigo said. "We may've helped with the prophecy, but we aren't the only ones of our group. There are others like Allen Walker, Ruby Rose, the Avengers – all people whose worlds were destroyed."

"Now hold on a second." Maddy Murphy woke up and stood. "Before we buy all this junk, you have explaining to do! I almost got killed by a lion because everybody said I was the Seventh Light! Do you have any idea what I've been through?! And it was all a TRICK?!"

"Look, Maddy, I'm honestly sorry for deceiving you." Bo-bobo said. "But we had to! Tell you what, I'll make it up to ya." He gave a friendly smile. "Would you like it if I told you you were secretly related to Steven Universe?" Bo-bobo picked out Steven Universe from somewhere and set him on his feet.

"Yeah! I'd like that a lot!"

"TOO BAD, YOUR LONG-LOST COUSIN IS WENDY MARVELL!" Bo-bobo whipped out the blue-haired mage and held her by the ankles.

"THAT'S COMPLETELY RANDOM!" Maddy screamed.

"Um, I don't know how I got here…" Wendy started crying.

"It's called an impulse idea, AND WE LIKE IT!" With that, Bo-bobo swung Wendy like a baseball bat, hitting Steven and sending them flying to the sky. Twinkle.

"Uh, hello??" Zach emphasized. "Are you guys not realizing who is here right now?? It's Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo! I'm your biggest fan!"

"That can't be right. My biggest fan is right there!" Bo-bobo pointed at the enormous fan blowing at them from the sea.

"I saw that joke coming a mile away." Maddy said.

"You forget something, Bo-bobo!" Zachary smirked. "I am actually the missing oscillator switch!" And with that, Zach turned into an oscillator switch and leapt up to fill the fan's vacant hole.

"Excellent, Zachary!" Bo-bobo cheered. "With the oscillator returned, my fan can assume its true form… as an air hockey puck!" The fan poofed and turned into a tiny puck.

"Guys, I'm all out of breath, someone scream for me." Maddy said.

"There will be plenty time for screaming after the gerbils win the sugar bowl!" Bo-bobo was playing hockey against Natsu Dragneel, with gerbils cheering in the audience.

"Grrrr!" Natsu grew furious. "I'M TIRED OF THIS GAME, I WANNA FIGHT!" With his flaming fist, he destroyed the hockey table.

"HEY, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!" Luffy shouted at Natsu, balling his fist. "There was free MEAT at the tournament!"

"I got a piece of meat RIGHT HERE!" Natsu raised his flaming fist.

Luffy entered Gear 4 and cried, "Gum-Gum KING KONG GUN!!"

"DRAGON KING BLAZING FIST!!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!!" Sora batted them both out to sea with his Keyblade.

"Help! Help! We can't swim!" Luffy and Natsu started flailing their arms. The others stared in disbelief.

"So, anyway…" Naruto Uzumaki began. "Do you guys know someone named Negatar Gnaa?"

"Yes, we know Gnaa." Aurora answered. "Not personally, but we know him."

"He's in our group, too! We're calling ourselves the Dimensional Rebels." He grinned. "Pretty cool, right?"

"I would've liked Dimensional Prospectors." Dillon commented.

"Aren't prospectors people who dig around in mines?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah, who would call their selves that?" Naruto snickered.

"Guys, just tell us what's going on!" Chris yelled. "Who put you up to this? What's destroying your worlds, what did these forces look like?"

"ZAAAAAAAAACH!"

A familiar voice screeched in the heavens, and a familiar train appeared from hyperspace. "IT'S NEFARIOUS!" Maddy screamed.

Dr. Nefarious pressed a button. Suddenly, Sparky sprouted robotic limbs, wrapped around Zach, and rocketed up to his creator's ship. Nefarious rained missiles down on all of them, the kids countering with their own powers. The seven Dimension Rebels were blown apart by a missile, and transformed back into Zoni. "THEY'RE Zoni, TOO?!" Shade exclaimed.

"If you kids need me, I'll be destroying everything you hold dear! SO LONG, JERKS!" The train vanished in hyperspace.

"Everyone to the ships!" MaKayla yelled. "We have to find where they went!"

"I can see where they're going!" Sapphire followed.

Star Train

"NNNGH!" Nefarious punched Zach to the floor. "After ALL the years I spent watching Maddy, ALL THE TIME I spent, hoping for some SECRET power I can use to rule the universe, AND IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG?!" Nefarious grabbed and repeatedly punched him across the face. "I've HAD IT TO HERE with your games! TELL ME WHAT YOUR POWER IS NOW!!"

"Stop it, stop! Your punching is rearranging my face! Now I look like a-" When Nefarious stopped, Zach's faced changed into cereal, an orange, and milk on a tray.

"A balanced breakfast?" Lawrence asked.

"GRRRR!" Nefarious kicked Zach away. "I have something to SHOW you, boy! Take a look!" He pressed a button on the control panel and displayed a screen of a ruined town. "Your hometown of Quahog, reduced to a wasteland. Ah, but what of the townspeople? Behold." The screen cut to show robots wandering the city. "My Atomic Biobliterator destroys everything else and makes organics into robots. Robots who become my slaves… but I don't feel as merciful." He pushed a remote. Two of the robots exploded.

"AAAH!" Zach screamed.

"I won't stop THERE!" Nefarious continued exploding citizens.

"PLEASE, STOP!" Zach dressed in a pink dress and blonde wig, crying over Nefarious's leg. "I'll have no one to take to the engineering prom, please allow me to get a date!"

"NEVER!" Nefarious began stomping him. "I'll destroy every last ounce of this planet until I learn your secret!" The screen switched to a robotic Danika York as Nefarious threatened to explode her. "Now TELL me, Mr. Murphy, what, makes, you, TICK?!"

He stomped him so much, he exposed what was inside of Zach: "YOU'RE A VIDEOTAPE?!"

"I call upon the power of videotapes throughout the land!" Nefarious looked as a fleet of tapes and cassette players flew out of the atmosphere. "With our allies, the cassettes, we will prove this advanced technology cannot dominate us! We must take back what is ours… OUR SCHOOL YEARBOOKS!!"

"NYAAAARRRGGGH!" The Star Train took the full force of the barrage of old-timey recording devices. Before they knew it, the Star Train was plummeting to the earth, breaking and burning in the atmosphere. The train crashed into Quahog and blew all the rubble and robots for miles.

Sometime later, Maddy, Shade, and the Kids Next Door arrived at the wasteland, having quickly heard the news of the events. "Oh, man… This is terrible…" Dillon said with remorse.

"This place could really use a hero…" said Mason.

"REAAAAARRRRGH!" Nefarious burst up from the rubble, performing Shadow Clone Jutsu and destroying all the ships with powerful lasers. As the operatives were falling, the Nefarious clones flew up and sliced them all with bladed fingers, an easy feat given they were so worn out from Enies Lobby. "Destroy-destroy-destroy-destroy-destroy! DESTROY EVERYTHIIIIIIIIINNNNNNG!" Nefarious turned red with unparalleled rage.

Maddy was dropped on the ground, horribly exhausted and helpless when Nefarious appeared before her. "What's wrong, Maddy?! Tired from fighting Lucci?!" He stomped closer. "All these years you've been deceiving me… You will RUE the day YOU CROSSED DOCTOR NEFARIOUS!" Nefarious charged lasers in both hands.

Maddy cried, feeling this was the end. The first person to come to mind was… "ZAAAAAAACH…"

The world turned white, but the fatal blow of the lasers didn't come. It was quiet and peaceful. Maddy opened her eyes. He was there… defending her. "You rang?"

Zach was driving a Seussmobile, a whacky tacky clown car with a Dr. Seuss design. "Oh, my hero!" Maddy wept in embarrassment.

"HEY, NEFARIOUS!" Zach yanked the steering wheel off the car. "How would YOU like a turn on the wheel?!" He chucked the wheel at Nefarious—it burst into eight sexy anime girls who rapidly kicked the robot with bare feet.

"WAAAAAAHH!" Nefarious flew across the city and smashed through several fallen buildings. He landed on his feet and looked up to see Zach with the girls. "This was my Living Body Pillow Attack! Thank you, ladies."

"Oh, Zaaaaach!"

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" Nefarious blasted lasers and destroyed the girls. "I'LL PUT AN END TO YOUR TRICKERY FOREVER!"

Boss fight: Arthur Nefarious

"SO LONG, ZACH!" Nefarious flew at his enemy with rocket shoes, shooting twin lasers that blew him backwards. With Zach on his back, Nefarious flew above and rocketed down. "Where's your power NOW, Mr. LIGHT?!" Nefarious smashed—through Zach's paper body and landed in a classroom. "WHAT?!?"

"Welcome to Arts and Crafts!" Mr. Murphy said from the teacher's desk. "Today, you will be creating hand sanitizer! Mr. Blinks, how is your project?"

"Alls wells, Mon-shore Zarion!" Jar Jar created a clothespin. ("That isn't hand sanitizer!" yelled Nefarious.)

"What do you think of mine?!" Spongebob beamed as he presented a ketchup bottle.

"THAT WON'T KEEP YOUR HANDS CLEAN!" screamed the doctor. "Ugh, HERE, I'll show you hand sanitizer!" He grabbed scissors and paper and hurriedly crafted. "TA-DA! A masterpiece!" Indeed, he created a full bottle of sanitizer.

"Excellent, Arthur!" Zach praised. "You get full marks for the day!"

"I do? Great!"

"Just as soon as you use that lotion to clean my booger, Sally." He set a giant booger on the desk.

"EW, GROSS!!"

"Dammit, Zach!" Sally jumped up and pulled Zach down by the shirt. "I need to get back to the baseball field! We're playing against the earwax and I need to teach those sculpture-loving nerds a lesson!"

"Relax, Sally, we will! I got your bat ready for ya, right here."

The next minute, they were on a baseball field, with Sally holding Nefarious like a baseball bat. "Wait, what?"

"And the pitcher takes the field!" An earwax man walked onto the pitcher's platform, holding the baseball firmly. He chucks the ball—"MOOO! MOOO!" It morphs into a cow.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Nefarious screamed, but he was swung against the flying cow and shattered into pieces. Doo-doo-doot-doot! Doo-doooot! His head flew across the field and landed in a boy's hand.

"Mommy, look! I caught the ball!"

"Put that away, Jeremy, it has germs."

"GERMS?! Good thing I brought hand sanitizer!" Zach grabbed the lotion Nefarious crafted earlier and started spraying the audience, who all screamed and ran. "Get 5% off every Tuesday!"

"GRRRR!" Nefarious reattached his parts and made hand signals. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" A swarm of Shadow Clones surrounded a terrified Zach. "ATTACK HIM!" They all leaped above.

"Gaaah!" Zach ducked and shuddered.

"HAAAAH!" The clones would pile on him soon. …Zach farted. Poot.

"HORCHATAAAAA!" The ghosts of a Mexican family burst from his rear and stabbed the clones with swords. They poofed into smoke, but the real Nefarious became a rock.

"Crud, a Substitution Jutsu!" Zach yelped.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Nefarious charged from behind. "HrrrrrRRRR-!" He stabbed Zach. The boy poofed and turned into a cup of cheddar. "A Substitution?!"

"They're substituting Ms. Dairy for Chuck!" Zach charged in on a rhino and rammed Nefarious.

"Boy, when you see Zach like this," Maddy said, "you can hardly remember a time when he couldn't defend himself for squat."

"He's risen greater than all of us." Chris agreed.

"What's my battle score so far?!" Zach asked with confidence. A scoreboard tallied up and concluded with 5,104 points. "SWEET! You know what that means?"

"What does it mean?" asked Maddy.

"We get to blow up Jupiter!" Zach pressed a pump, and the gas giant completely exploded. That's when flaming tacos began to rain down. "It looks like it was Taco Night up there. Better watch out!"

"Aaaaahh!" His friends were screaming and dodging tacos.

Nefarious merely blasted all the tacos with lasers. "You think these bits are humoring anyone?! I have the upper hand in this fight! If you don't surrender to me, I'll order the rest of these townspeople to self-destruct!"

"You know what I think your problem is, Nefarious?" Zach declared. "You didn't give your mom a good scrubbin'! Well, it's time to rectify that. BOYS!"

Suddenly, they were on a naval ship, where a bunch of sailors sang a shanty as they washed their moms in bathtubs.

What do you do when your mom is dirty

Boyfriends got her feeling flirty

Sing her a shanty nice and purdy

Wash her in the bath tub!

The sailors scrubbed the moms vigorously.

WASH. WASH. Wash her belly

SCRUB. SCRUB. Scrub her belly

RINSE. RINSE. Rinse her belly

NEXT WE'LL DO HER TUSHY!

The other kids wanted to look away, but the sight was so atrocious that they were frozen. There was so much weirdness going on here. "Okay, Nefarious, now it's your turn!" Zach showed him a feminine version of Nefarious in a bathtub, wearing a wig.

"That's not remotely CLOSE to what my mother looks like!"

"True, but she's a hell of a tub-skater!" The robo-mother's bathtub slid and smashed Nefarious.

The robot recovered and flew up with rockets. "If you're not going to take me seriously, I'll have to start destroying!" With that, he flew around and shot lasers everywhere, making a greater mess of the already-ruined town. "HA HA HA HA! DIE, all of you, DIIIIIEEEE!" He decimated all the Roboticized citizens, and soon there would be nothing left.

The ruined city of Quahog transformed into a gigantic six-sided die. "I made a DIE?!?"

"Oh, I was looking for that!" They were suddenly on a table, where Spongebob picked the die up and tossed it. It landed on '2'. "Darn."

"My turn!" Zach took and shook the die, feeling lucky. It landed on a side with numerous spots. "Sweet, 57!"

"What do you get?" Maddy asked.

"We get to blow up New Zealand!" Zach pressed a pump and exploded the island country. "No one was using that land, anyway."

This time, flaming bike tires were raining from the island's explosion, but Nefarious was swift in shooting them all. "You're running out of pizzazz if you're throwing the same basic attack at me! No matter how many landmasses you destroy, I will—WAAH!" He was squished by a giant gold statue honoring Monty Python.

"And now for something completely different!" announced Zach.

Spotlights lit up a dark stage. Jar Jar Blinks wore an orange jumpsuit covered with words spelled the same forwards and back, like Ururu, Appa, Ho-oh, racecar, or repaper. The sign above the stage read Palindrome. Jar Jar spoke with a voice most soothing:

"Do good? I? No. Evil anon I deliver. I maim nine more hero men in Saginaw. Sanitary sword a tuck Carol, I! Lo, rack, cut a drowsy rat in Aswan. I gas nine more hero men in Miami. Reviled, I? No na, live on I do. O' God!"

"…" Nefarious was utterly speechless. "…Wow. That… was… impressive…"

"I cannot accept praise." Jar Jar bowed. "It was the tentacle."

"What tentacle?"

"THIS TENTACLE, DIPWAD!" Zach swung an octopus tentacle and bat Nefarious away.

Zach then looked over to Chris and Maddy. "It stings a little at first, but it helps the wound heal." Chris said as he put an ice bag over Maddy's wounds.

"Well, someone learns from his cousin." Maddy laughed.

Zach's eyes narrowed sharply. "DON'TCHU HIT ON MY SISTER!" He kicked Anthony to the sky like a football.

"It wasn't meeeee…!"

"Waaaah!" Nefarious landed behind a stand. He got up to see the stand had a buzzer. He was between Anthony McKenzie and Terry Stork at some game show. Zach wore a host's uniform and announced, "Welcome to another installment of:"

"YOU! CAN'T! WIIIIIN!"

"Anthony, you get to go first!"

"Don't I have to push the buzzer?"

"Your question is: Girls' locker room?"

"Um… Vweeb?" Anthony answered.

AAAANCK! "Sorry, Anthony, the correct answer was 'Richard Feynman.' Now it's time for the Penalty Round! Your punishment will be:" A wheel spun on the wall, landing on an icon of a desert. "Fighting Sahara Desert in a boxing contest!"

Ding ding! All three contestants were in a ring, facing a giant Sahara Desert. "Haaaaah-!" They ran to throw the first punch—a swarm of scorpions jumped out of the desert and began rapidly stinging them.

"So it doesn't matter who gets picked?" Maddy figured. "All of them will just get pummeled?"

"Terry, you're next!" Zach resumed. "Answer Question 64!"

"You didn't ask any of the questions before!"

AAAANCK! "That's where you're wrong! Before, I asked Question 15. Gotta pay attention, Ter. Here's your Penalty Game!" The wheel spun and landed on a lollipop. "Take candy from a premature baby!"

The contestants landed in the center of the Earth. There was a lollipop floating over the edge of the magma, but when Terry came to take it, a giant gremlin-like demon burst from the magma and burned them all in fire. "This particular baby happens to be Dark Gaia, whom was not scheduled for another ten million years. Up next is Dr. Nefarious!"

"Whatcha have for me, Zach?!"

"Take this sketchbook," Zach tossed him a blank sketchbook, "and draw THIS… amoeba!" Zach pulled a napkin off a blank pedestal.

"Zach has this in the bag." Maddy said with disbelief.

"HERE!" Nefarious presented the completed sketch of an amoeba lifting weights.

"HE DID IT!" Zach panicked. "I don't believe it! Someone actually won! Do you know what this means?!"

"I think I do." Maddy replied.

"We have to blow up this building!" Zach pressed a pump.

Meanwhile, Depthcharge2030 was coming back from a leisurely stroll. He was about to enter his house—when it miraculously exploded! Everyone who came to the game show blew to the sky. "You were hosting it at HIS house?!" Dillon exclaimed.

Flaming wax sculptures of the Prospectors were flying with the contestants. "Part of being a robot means analyzing ways to adapt!" Nefarious grabbed statues of D. Carmine, Kayla Valera, and Josh Puncture, throwing them at Zach. "If I decide to play along with your games, I can get close enough to defeat you!"

Still in midflight, Zach defended himself with a sculpture of John Smith. "The only time I heard the word 'adapt' was when I failed a spelling test! Had to spell 'adopt', didn't go well. I couldn't drop my toy robot at Foster's and he took over the Arabian Government."

After blocking Rack and Ruin—"YOU'RE WIDE OPEN!" Nefarious shot up and STABBED Zach in the chest. "Your time is up- huh?"

Nefarious pierced a bottle of red potion. "Since you've punctured my Power-Up Potion, you forced me to use my special attack." Zach's body shone with light. "The Mario Kart 64 Train Level Attack!"

Nefarious became 64-bit and was on a Mario Kart, as were the other operatives. Zach sat before his TV and controlled Nefarious in driving through the desert level. The level's calming music rang in the air. Zach steered off track and drove along the train tracks in the level. "AYAAAARGH!" Zach crashed him into the train. "AYAAAARGH!" Nefarious's kart whirled up into the air when taking damage. "AYAAAARGH!"

"I don't care about winning, I just wanna see him go uppy." Zach said.

There were police sirens outside, and GUN agents surrounded Zach's house. "Zachary Murphy, you are under arrest! For playing videogames too loud in the winter!"

"CRUD!" Zach cursed at his folly. "I thought I learned from Master Bo-bobo! Well, only one thing to do now. I'M GOING TO ARKANSAS!" He burst out of the house, driving a bulldozer that pushed his TV.

Nefarious and the operatives were still in Mario Kart, screaming as he was about to plow through a teddybear factory. "ZACH, WAIT!" Chris screamed. "WE'RE IN HERE, TOOOOOOO…" The second they made impact, all the karters and teddybears were blown to the sky.

Adaption process at 100%.

"YES!!" Nefarious was brimming with more power than ever. "Now that I have measured every part of your attack pattern, it's time for my OWN performance! I will annihilate you all, in my DEATH CARNIVAL!" Out of nowhere, Nefarious spawned a black, metallic carnival with his likeness seen on all the rides.

"He's mimicking Zach's Bo-bobo Kempo!" Maddy exclaimed. "We're in trouble!"

"You bet you are, child! Because you're all going for a ride on my Roller Coaster of DOOM!" Nefarious strapped all the kids to a roller coaster, speeding along the tracks using rockets. "And guess its destination: a BUZZ BUNNY!" The coaster was going to speed in the mouth of a bunny statue with buzzsaws inside.

Chris, Anthony, Mason, and the others desperately tried to escape their chains, but the last three seconds of their lives were spent staring at the upcoming blades. They sped through, and Nefarious relished in the sound of the saws chopping their flesh. When they came out on the other side—they posed in the most graceful swan dresses. "THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!" the doctor screamed.

"I feel more beautiful than a lady after she bathes!" Chris spoke beautifully.

"I feel like an angel as she brushes 'cross the sun." Mason danced.

"Internet, this was what you were invented for." Melody Jackson recorded the boys in their lovely light.

The swans were dancing within a whirling merry-go-round. Nefarious smirked with malice and pressed a button. The merry-go-round sealed them inside and began to spin faster. "You fools will spin so fast that you'll jellify! (And that's actually a word.) Afterwards, I'll spray you with ice," four cannons shot ice spray over the machine, "and voila! You're gelatin!" The merry-go-round uncovered and revealed a big plate of red Jell-O.

"I don't think you know much on gelatin." Maddy said with a sweatdrop. ^^;

"Wellp, time to eat up!" Nefarious got a spoon and began to gobble the blood-colored jelly. "Mmm, this is kinda good! I wonder what these kids had for lunch?"

When he dug up enough Jell-O, he discovered a fly among other animals. "What? Judging by the animals present… One of the children swallowed a fly. So they swallowed a spider to catch the fly; they swallowed a bird to catch the spider; they swallowed a cat to catch the bird; and in order to catch the cat, they swallowed… a mouse with Titan-hunting gear?"

Suddenly, the scenery changed to Attack on Kitten. The mouse citizens screamed high-pitch squeaks when the Colossal Kitten climbed over Wall Mario, which had an icon of a mushroom. But there came Eren Yarnball, a heroic kitty with black fur and sharp green eyes. With his ball of yarn, he swung up to the Colossal Kitten and chopped the neck with his claws of steel.

"Wah hah haaaa!" Zach cried over the hospital bed. "Grandma! Why did you swallow all those uncooked animals?! Your colon needs liquidated garbage!"

Zach's grandma was Jar Jar Blinks in a pink gown and grey wig. "Zachy-poo… Don't listen to what them kids say. Eatin' living animals is a no-no. Especially de very big ones. I don't even know why I ate the cow to catch the dog. Since when do cows catch dogs? We shoulda sent a rabbit."

"Grandma, please live! I promise to buy you a fresh, juicy rabbit to catch that dog! Grandma!"

Nefarious stood behind and watched this weirdly. "Well, this didn't go like I planned. But I wonder how the poor souls at the Shoot-or-Shoot are doing?"

Artie and Harry Gilligan were forced to shoot rapid-moving targets over a table, for the bridge they were on was collapsing board-by-board and would drop them into a pit of lava. "Gulp! It was nice knowing you, Harry!" The twins unfortunately took the plunge, to bathe in the molten lava. They splashed in.

"Mwah hah hah hah!" Nefarious cackled. "They're about to come up as dead, boney…" But while he expected skeletons, Artie and Harry reemerged as a MacBook and ham radio. "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG HERE?!"

Ham Harry and Art Book floated wistfully down Melty Metal River, in search of a land they could harvest in order to produce leather shoes. The journey lasted for 3 years and they met many a friendly snowcone.

"AAAAAGH, STOP IT, STOP IT!" Nefarious fell to all fours, his mechanical head throbbing. "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong! I adapted my fighting style to match your foolishness! I should have you molded into Jell-O and melting in my stomach incinerator. Why can't I defeat you?!"

"Because there's one fatal flaw in your Death Carnival." Zach declared with seriousness. "The humor in your carnival is too forced and longing to kill people. The trick is to nurture your humor and grow it with fresh organic taste."

"Zach, I wouldn't call your humor organic." Maddy commented. ^^;

"Fine, so I use pesticides to keep those chuckle bugs away. The point is, I devote love and consideration to my humor. But you have NO sense of humor! You hardly have sense to begin with. I kid around knowing that my friends are depending on me!"

"We're injured from your previous attacks." The operatives were bruised and bandaged.

It was then Nefarious began to see the light. Literally and figuratively. It was a warm light. The emotional Kingdom Hearts music eased his internal reflection. "He's…He's right… No matter what I do… I can never match up to his brand of humor."

"Don't feel bad." Nefarious looked up at Zach. In the light, he looked like a saint. "Everyone is funny in some way. Even the most dull boring business nerd in the universe. It's just a matter of finding your own type of humor. But I would be happy to help you…" He reached a hand down.

Nefarious stared at it with feels building in his chest. "Oh… Zach…"

The boy smiled. "Join me… my brother."

"…" Nefarious took his hand.

"Just sign here and I'll take this Death Carnival off your hands!" Zach tried to force Nefarious's finger to sign a contract, making a goofy expression while doing so. "Ha ha! Ha ha!"

"DARN IT, BOY, YOU TRICKED ME WITH FEELINGS!" the doctor shouted. "SCREW this, I just want you to DIE!" The robot extracted numerous lasers from his person and bombarded Zach. "Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide! This time, your hide is TOAST!" He kept up the assault until he was certainly positive Zach had been exterminated.

"… …Then it's time to use my Ultimate Form."

Nefarious was awestruck when the smoke cleared. The absolute marvel he was staring at. All the way from the edge of the universe, it was Bozobot. A tremendous mechanoid clown with sky-blue, star-covered pants, red and white stripes down its shirt, and a shiny bulky exterior. "Behold, Dr. Nefarious, my true form. If you thought I was a clown before… you're about see more clown than clowns can be!"

And so, Bozobot leaped high into the sky, tilting so his bottom would smash Nefarious. "When Bozobot squashes with his butt…" Nefarious braced himself from the smash, "everybody in Kentucky gets sunflowers!"

The people of Kentucky cheered jubilantly, frolicking in the field of flowers. "For every 50 flowers you collect, you get a free steamroller! MAKE YOURSELF A PANCAKE!" Nefarious was squished by a random Kentuckian's steamroller.

"Grrrr…" Nefarious struggled to push himself up.

"Now Bozobot will spray you with a flower!" The giant clown aimed a red flower on his shirt. "There's nothing more refreshing than a nice sprinkle of-" A storm of ocarinas shot out and pummeled Nefarious, "videogame instruments!"

"Nyargh-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!" Nefarious stuttered with each hit.

"And what if Bozo should kick you with his boots?" Zach raised the robot's long red shoe and swung it to the doctor. "Welcome to the world of Twilight!" When the boot struck, Nefarious was warped to Twilight, sitting beside Bella's father in his car.

My father always treats me like a child. An emotionless voice in Nefarious's head spoke. I wanted to prove that I'm not, but… he keeps giving me milk. Nefarious was sitting in a baby seat, wearing a diaper, and Bella's father was feeding him milk.

"Mmm! This is good milk."

"THAT'S MY MILKYYYY!" Jar Jar kicked the car to the sky and sent Nefarious and Bella's father swirling.

"FINE!" Nefarious decided. "Then it's time to use my own trump card! Say good-bye to the people of Quahog!" He grabbed his remote and set them all to self-destruct, from Adam West, Tom Tucker, the Griffin Family, and Danika York.

"MOM!!" Dillon cried.

"KYAH HAH HAH HAH HA!" Nefarious's madness grew. "I can't wait to kill EVERYONE… else?" He looked at Bozo confused.

The clown robot was crying, but it wasn't tears, they were closed DVD cases with pictures of all the Quahog citizens. "Behold the power of Bozobot's eyes." Dillon came up to a DVD case with Danika's image. He opened it and his mother popped out. "When life ends, like a DVD, just play it again!"

The operatives opened all the cases and revived the non-robotic people of Quahog. "Im…Impossible…" Nefarious's brain was melting down again. "Bringing back from the dead… Destroying planets… Just what is this?! What is the power of the Seventh Light?"

Bozobot opened its mouth. Zach was standing in the bright light inside. "I'll tell you… what my power is…"

He channeled energy into Bozobot's mouth. The light was growing brighter. Nefarious couldn't imagine the devastating blast it would bring. "The power that I possess is… The power that I possess is… TOILETRY!!" A toilet burst out of him faster than a bullet and struck Nefarious.

The robot flipped across the ground. The top of his egg-shaped dome hit the concrete, and the glass cracked. Soon, there was not a trace of Death Carnival or Bozobot. Just the ruined state Quahog was left in. Nefarious lay, twitching with his last amounts of energy. His body sparked. "No more…" He weakly raised an arm. "No more… I… give up…" He rolled on his front. In his failing, static vision, he could see Maddy. "I…I understand now."

Maddy stared at him. Dr. Nefarious was giving a warm smile. A relieved smile. "I think that… all I really wanted… was to find someone more mad than me. Perhaps I thought… I would find a person like that in you. But it was your brother… it was always your brother." He sparked. "I can… rest well… knowing there are insane people like you out there. Thanks to you… I can find inner peace. And now… I am free…"

His red eyes faded. The skinny robot husk was dead. A heavenly light shone on him. The spirit of Nefarious's green alien form rose from the metal, smiling as it ascended to Heaven. "Good-bye… Zach and Maddy. It was an honor… to spy on you. After so many years… I have what I had been searching for." The spirit was gone into the light. The light faded as his final word echoed. "Sanity…"

Lawrence and the Nefarious Drones gathered around their master. Their heads were bowed. They were sad. Their master was gone. They would never know a one like him. Doctor Arthur Nefarious…

Lawrence turned when Zach approached him. "Lawrence… It's time."

"…Yes, it is." Lawrence nodded. Before their eyes, the robot butler began to transform. His oval-ish body expanded, formed six sides with eight corners, all of equal size and distance. Foreign letters appeared on the cube's black and gray structure. Lawrence became a Poneglyph.

Zach Murphy approached the final Gibberish Cube. He read its text aloud. "'Well done, you found the true Cube Thingy. With this, all Seven Lights are united. Your true test will begin soon. That is if those lazy Darknesses would get off their butts. –Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo'."

The cube glowed and the light entered Zach's body. He was awakened.

Zach Murphy awakened as the SEVENTH LIGHT! What's gonna happen now…

Zach bowed his head. Maddy was behind him. "Maddy… I'm… sorry."

"Zach?"

"I knew… all along… I knew that I was the Seventh Light… For a long time, I knew…"

"…But… how?"

"Four years ago… I was visited by an Amazonian computer… which was controlled by a robot… and that same robot was sent by a French carpet-maker. And he told me everything. …Sniff!" Zach started crying. "I wanted to tell you! But I knew… you would never have believed a story like that! And because of me, you were in danger! Can you imagine how hard it's been for me… trying to fulfill the destiny a carpet-maker's robot's computer has given me?"

Tears welled up in Maddy's eyes. "You're right, Zach… I wouldn't have believed you for a second!" She went up and hugged him. "But I do now! I believe you, Zach!"

"Maddyyy!" Zach hugged back. The twins cried, and the moment was beautiful and tear-jerking. From afar, Chris, Shade, and the operatives watched.

"This will be… a hell of a story for the history books." Chris said.

"By the way, Sparky's a robot." Zach noted.

"I guessed that. But since his master is gone, we might as well keep him." Maddy replied.

"Darn it."

"Ruff, ruff!" Sparky cuddled up with them.

. . . . . . It is time.

Zach's eyes glowed a bright green—Sheila's eyes glowed—Fybi's eyes glowed—the Seven Lights were glowing. Green auras surrounded them. Maddy stepped away from Zach, gaping. Her brother closed his green eyes… and reopened them. They had a surreal, otherworldly glow. "Heroes of this universe." Zach's voice was low and mysterious. "The Kids Next Door." April, Sheila, and Fybi's voices were in monotone. "I am the author of the Twenty Keys Prophecy." Jessie Sidney broadcasted to every TV in the world. "I am Calliope.

"The Seven Lights have been awakened." Kimaya's voice spoke with them. "The seven lost pieces of my being." Suki Crystal had never looked more strange. She sounded eerie in a non-cheery voice. "All of them house a power that was mine. The Seventh Light, Zach Murphy, houses my greatest power. A power of imagination that is greater than magic or psychicbending. The Power to Defy Law. I must apologize for deceiving you with the Fake Prophecy, but it was all to prove that… his power is not absolute.

"From beyond the ends, I have watched you through my vessels. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for finding the seven pieces of my being. I do not have long to speak… so in this time, I will tell you the true meaning of this prophecy. The one whom the prophecy was meant to destroy… The one who will destroy the universe… His name is Lord English." (Play "Chamber of Sages" from Zelda: Ocarina of Time.)

Green beams of light burst from the Seven Lights and covered the entire sky. An illusion of space was projected as two green spirits were seen adrift. "Before there was your universe, before there was law, before there was Arceus… there was us. I and my twin brother, Caliborn." The figures morphed into shadowed children. "We ate, we fought, and we played much like you do. But there was one thing we shared… our imagination."

Calliope was happily stacking toy blocks, and then Caliborn came and kicked it down. "It was our dream to create a world of our own design. But we had so little to work from. Nothing but our bodies and the energy of the universe. And so we molded them into one. We took the energy and merged it with our brains, creating single bodies of limitless potential."

Energy flowed into the two kids' brains. Before long, they formed into flashing 8-balls, which the two kids held and raised proudly. "But where did this energy come from? It was an outflow of forces that originated from millions of universes beyond our reach. That energy was creativity. We used the scattered fragments of what had been created and made our own worlds."

Two stars flew around the sky and left galaxies in their wake. "But what of the minds? Were those lost among the creation? No… For we created bodies to house our minds. I created Polokus." The roundish, long-armed creature with the big purple hat appeared. "And Caliborn created Bill Cipher." The one-eyed golden triangle appeared. "They kept our knowledge bright." Polokus was reading to Calliope a book, and Bill was showing Caliborn complex equations on a chalkboard. The brother gripped his head in agony.

"We were happy with the worlds we created. We were proud of them. And we relished in our power to make them." The two kids were dancing. "…But then Caliborn went mad." The rest of the sky darkened, showing only the brother as he trembled. "The power he had developed was consuming him." The flashing 8-ball expanded on the screen. "He wanted to expand his understanding and his power. But there was no more energy to collect. …Except…" The screen panned away to show Calliope. With fury in his red eyes, Caliborn charged his sister and grabbed her 8-ball. Calliope struggled, the two fought greater than they ever had. The sky exploded into dust.

The dust cleared, showing only the darkness. The two 8-balls bounced across the emptiness, their clacks echoing. They lay beside each other, flashing away. Eventually, they disappeared. Polokus and Bill floated in the dark before dissolving into dust. "For millions of years, there was emptiness. The worlds we had once built became dust. But slowly, that dust formed into a new singularity." There was a white light in the darkness. It formed into a beautiful white pony with a gold ring around its waist. "Arceus, the god who would design a new universe, with love, life, and diversity."

They watched as planets formed within the stars. The denizens were happily interacting, the trolls, the angels, salamanders, Gems, Carapacians. "There was never a world more beautiful. Even before the other gods were born, there was peace and order. …But the power that had lived before Arceus still existed. Slowly, it was being born again." The two 8-balls appeared over the projection.

"The power once thought to be lost had risen again. Our quarrel continued, and our power brought chaos to the universe. Arceus was blind to the cause of these anomalies. He believed the fault was his own. So he divided his power, brought life to the other gods. He commanded the inhabitants of that world to design a new one which the gods would then make real. But to ensure that the unseen energy of that world would not destroy the new one, Arceus destroyed it." The universe exploded in a supernova.

"But it was not so simple, because Caliborn and I continued to live. And our power was steadily seeping into that new universe." The Great Clock was shown, connected to a stream of energy, which then scattered upon passing the Great Clock. "We knew that our strife would harm this universe as it had with the others. And I did not want this to happen. So I merged myself with my brother and divided our bodies." The two Shimmers of energy exploded as seven balls of light rained into the universe. One struck a Poneglyph inside a candy room, one inside an ice dungeon, another Poneglyph in some underground, and so on.

"The essence of my power – of my mind – awaited the day they could find the perfect vessels. But I was forced to divide my brother's power as well." Thirteen dark balls rained around the space. "They were scattered to the multiverses, to await beings of divine power that would share Caliborn's desires." A dark ball hit a Pyrameglyph inside a forest, one atop a mountain, one in a dark swamp, and so on. "And so, the Seven Lights and Thirteen Darknesses would come together and bring us back. But which one of us, exactly? Our souls still existed, wandering the universe in pieces. Our energies had reformed into the original bodies we created. They were known as the Octogan." The two 8-balls were shown once again. Bill Cipher and Polokus emerged from them.

"Caliborn's Octogan was hidden in the Negaverse, discovered by a man who would come to know, and fear its power. The gods took the Octogan from him and hid it under the Tree of Ending." The sky displayed an upside-down tree, and a door with dozens of chi-blocks. "My Octogan was hidden within a temple in the Termina Dimension. It was discovered by one Acnologia, who used its unparalleled power for his own ends. But as my brother and I were one, both of our energies were present in the Octogan. Acnologia became aware of us, and his descendants would gain strong visions of us, for traces of our power were passed along his DNA.

"For the most part, those energies were hardly visible except within dreams. It was only when Clockwork passed his power unto the newest descendant, Jagar King, that my presence inside him would spark. But this had a side-effect on Jagar's Negative, Ragaj, whom was descended from the man who found my brother's Octogan, Acnologia's Negative. Caliborn's essence spoke to him, and I spoke to Jagar. We now use their bodies as our primary vessels.

"Both of us still desired to win, so we gathered others to help us with our work. Bill Cipher told the gods about the prophecy, and the gods formed their own iteration, the ideology of Light vs. Darkness. Ragaj sought capable underlings that would become Team Gnik. I acquired the aid of the trolls, and lost denizens of other dimensions. In recent years, my Octogan came into the possession of a band of humans who desired to control the Earth. With it, this group called 'Illuminati' saw the end. They wanted to prevent our return and prevent the prophecy from coming to light. But the fragment of essence that belonged to my brother infected the holders of the Octogan. They developed his desire to make a world of their control. And when the Apocalypse comes, the current King will make his desire reality, even if he is unaware of the consequences.

"I'm sure, even now, the Octogan blinds King Andrew to this knowledge. Yet, it is because of him and his ancestry of powerful Conquerors that the Octogan's power was kept under control, preventing the spread of worse havoc. However, the Octogan must be taken from him. They must return to the possession of our primary vessels, Jagar and Ragaj. On the Day of Apocalypse, they will fight. The winner of the battle will become the dominate force. The winner of the battle will be reborn. If Caliborn is the one restored, he will possess both our powers, and don the title of Lord English. He will destroy everything."

The sky showed the two Octogan uniting in one tremendous body. This body, Lord English, unleashed a devastating "ROOOOOOOAAAAARRR!" Universes that were labeled Gameverse, Fanverse, Legends, Termina – all shattered under his divine power. The Original Worlds – Grand Line, Hyrule, Disney, Fiore, Remnant, Mobius, Marvel – they would all crumble and kneel to the power of the supreme being. (End song.)

The illusion vanished in the sky, so the Seven Lights spoke Calliope's last words. "I know there are still questions I haven't yet answered, but rest assured, they will come. We must not let Lord English win. Even if the universe is to be destroyed, I must defeat him. Before I go, Kids Next Door, I would like to say… I'm sorry. You all have suffered because of me and my brother's strife. All I want is to put an end to it. To let you all live happily. Currently, only one of the Thirteen Darknesses has not awakened. But once they are all together, the battle of the universe will come. Please… lend me your support. But do not fear. Keep each other close in your hearts."

The glow in their eyes vanished. The Seven Lights were back to normal. Everyone was astonished… The world was left in worry and panic. From this day until May 31, there would be no peace or rest. Everybody could feel their happy times drawing to a close.

"I feared this day for a long time…" Jagar King appeared in the field. Everyone faced him. "I feared the inevitable doom that I could not see. I meditated… for hours on end inside Great Clock. Speaking to Calliope. I wanted this prophecy to stop… but if we don't complete it… there will be no one left to stop him. Lord English… is truly the most powerful being there has ever been. I understand why Clockwork was so afraid. I… am afraid…"

"…We have nothing to fear." Shade said. Everyone stared at her confused. "If there is anything I learned today… it's that destiny truly is void." She smiled. "We will save the universe and prevent Lord English's return."

"How optimistic." Bill Cipher emerged from a burst of sapphire flames. "Look at all of you! Poor, poor Kids Next Door. So hopeful that everything is gonna turn out all right. The classic fairytale ending!"

Anthony stomped a boulder up and chucked it, Bill dodged, Melody slashed water, everyone joined in attack, but the human demon casually evaded them all as he spoke. "How will it feel when everything you worked for comes crumbling down? Knowing you are helpless before powers beyond your own."

Bill took to the sky. "If I wanted to, I can exterminate this entire planet. I simply enjoy the sight of you skittering around like little bugs on scorching hot concrete. Struggle and fight all you want. Lord English will return, and together, with the Thirteen Darknesses under our service, the multiverse will be the dance floor of the never-ending party! Your only hope is to join us and bow to our power. You may not get to have a throne, but hey, you'll make decent choreboys. See you in 11 days, Kids Next Door! It's going to be a beautiful Armageddon! AAAAAH HA HA HAAAA! MWAAAAH HAH HAH HAH!" Bill exploded and vanished.

Midway Peak

Morgan Uno stood upon the balcony, the wind blowing her coat. The sky looked dimmer after the vision ended. "King Andrew… are you really blind to what you possess?" She looked down, sensing a body of psychic flying up the mountain. "Still… what do these kids have compared to you? It's time to find out." She warped before Sunni Chariton could spot her.