Sleepover

Nolan York found himself on a white sandy ground under a black sky. White cacti and bones stuck out of the sand. He knew he was dreaming because he was on both legs. "I'm either in a nightmare from Darkrai or one from Affright." Nolan said to himself. "Either way, I thought I had the night off."

To his left, he spotted a monochrome girl with pigtails staring at him. "Uh, hello, dream girl. Are you here to teach me a life lesson?"

". . ." The girl's left eye melted as multiple arms poked out of her body. She moaned and moved closer like a zombie. Nolan stepped backward and bumped into someone else. He turned and saw it was a brown-haired girl with a pink window shirt. "Can I ask you something?"

When Nolan faced forward again, the monochrome girl was directly in front. Her multi-limb body spun around like a disc, zooming in and out of Nolan's vision.

"Nnn!" Nolan startled awake when his wife kicked him in her sleep. "Sigh… well, that didn't make any sense." His eyes directed to the ceiling—"AH!" The window shirt girl hovered above them.

"Can you tell us where the chips are?"

"MADOTSUKI, WE FOUND SOME!"

"Oh. Never mind." The spirit vanished.

"What the…" Nolan hurriedly climbed out of bed and rolled down in his wheelchair. A blonde girl in a green dress passed him on her way from the kitchen with potato chips.

"Huh?" Mary faced up at him. "You must be Mr. Von Schweetz!"

"Hi, Dad!" Vanellope glitched in from the living room. "Sorry to wake you."

Nolan looked in the living room to find that same spirit girl, along with a another brown-haired girl with red eyes. "Vanellope, who are these people?"

"They're friends I invited for a sleepover! This is Mary, she's a painting; that's Ib, she met Mary in the art gallery," she pointed at the red-eyed one, "and that ghostie girl is Madotsuki! Together, we're the Club of Girls Who Were Stuck in One Place For Too Long! Mom said it was okay…"

"Shouldn't you all be in bed by now? I mean, it's…" He looked at a clock.

"It's only 8:00." Vanel said. "You were already asleep, and Mom was drinking, so she kinda conked out, too. See guys, I told you my parents were lazy."

"So, how did you make Vanellope, Mr. Schweetz?" Mary asked innocently.

"Er, it's Mr. York." Nolan blushed. "And I didn't make her, my son found her in Cyberspace. Where is Dillon, anyway? Someone needs to watch you."

"Out on a solo mission." Vanel said. "You know, he's been real into Nightwing lately. Don't worry, Dad, we're just gonna watch an anime."

"Is it E-rated?"

"Ye-…" Vanel hesitated; the lie was clear on her face. "Yeah…"

"What brush did you use to make Dillon?" Mary asked.

"How old did you say you were?" Nolan asked.

"One hundred and two years old!"

"Sigh, you kids and your candy." Nolan shook his head. "Just behave yourselves while you're here. I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, Daddy! Good night!" Vanellope called as he returned upstairs.

When Nolan reentered the bedroom, Danika was moving uncomfortably and ruffling the blanket. "Nnnnn, Kayla if you touch him again, I'll slit your throat…"

"Danika, remember when you were young and a sleepover seemed like the coolest thing ever?" Nolan asked, climbing back in with her.

"Nnnnnuuuuu…"

"Yep, neither do I. I suppose the worst thing we have to worry about is Quagmire climbing through the window. …See you in Dream Land, honey." He drifted back into slumber.

King Dutchman (Cue "Meanwhile on the Prison Ship.")

The flagship of The Thirteen was sailing in an uncharted region of this doomed dimension… but if I had to guess, it was around the vicinity where New Jersey used to be. Czar Baldy Bald III gathered some of his comrades in his sleeping quarters for a special announcement.

"Welcome to the first meeting of The Thirteen Boys' Club!" announced the czar from his bed. "Where masculine mischief makers get down with their bad selves!"

The only other people in attendance were James, Truman Zorc, and Xehanort. "Given how many men are on this ship, it's not very big." James commented.

"I'm surprised Bill Cipher didn't come." Truman said.

"Blah, if you invite the boss, they'll just make you work!" Tsuru stated. "Also, the other boys keep making fun of me. Even Davy Jones!" He frowned. "I'm sure that tentacle face had its share of teasing."

"I remember my days in Organization XIII." said Xehanort. "I was often uninvited to my cohorts' social conventions. Perhaps they thought I was too serious. So then, Czar Bald, what rebellious activities did you have planned?"

"I cannot believe that is coming from your mouth." Zorc mumbled.

"I have a list right here!" Tsuru drew out a paper. "Have a looksie!" He passed it to the three boys.

"Ganondorf uses hair gel made from a Moblin's gastric acids?!" James read in shock.

"Thanos looks at himself armorless with two mirrors after a shower." Xehanort read. "Interesting…"

"So, here's what we're going to do!" Tsuru began. (Play "Love in my Tummy" by Resnick and Levine!)

James crept into Ganon's room, swiped his Moblin Gel, and seemingly put it back before zipping off. Ganondorf returned to apply the gel to his fiery red hair. …There was an odd smell about it, but he had no time to ponder.

Ganon used the Multiverse Portal to go to Dimension "Gastrea," where giant mutant bugs threatened Tokyo. The giant bugs began to swarm Ganon instantly as he hurriedly sliced and burned them. In truth, James replaced his gel with bugnip, so any bugs in Ganon's area would fly to him like a magnet.

Zorc heard Thanos taking a shower as steam seeped out of the bathroom. He snuck into the titan's room and changed his giant mirrors into cards. Zorc rippled those cards before changing them back to normal. When Thanos finished his shower, he proudly came to pose to his reflections. One mirror depicted him with a fat round head and stick body, the other displayed him like a letter "A". A furious Thanos punched the mirrors all the way through the ship and into the chaotic universe.

Davy Jones was in deep, calm slumber on his organ seat. When he awoke, he yawned and stretched his—his tentacle finger was tied to his beard tentacles, surprising him when he yanked those tentacles up, and falling over. Baldy Bald ran in, pointing frantically to show Aizen his situation. The Soul Reaper shrugged and used his sword to cut Jones' beard and free him. Tsuru snickered at the half-bearded Jones, but when the captain glared at him, the czar bolted.

Blackbeard returned to his room and beamed at the sight of the triple cherry pie on his table. He skipped over and started chomping… but a serious case of the runs suddenly overcame him. One bathroom was occupied by James, another by Zorc, by Xehanort, and by Tsuru, so when Blackbeard ran by the Portal Chamber, he saw no other choice. Dimentio yelped when the sickened pirate ran up. He became a multidimensional toilet.

When Bill Cipher was in his office, Tsuru's phone rang. Bill answered, "Yes, Hairy Baldy?"

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" Tsuru asked in a disguised rugged voice.

"No, but I have Prince Charming, Prince Ali, Prince Eric, Prince Hans, Prince Beast, Prince Naveen, Prince Philip…" Bill was looking at a shelf with cans of shrunken captured princes, each of which were shaking from their attempts to escape. "I don't know what's so funny about capturing princes, it just is! You think I should make a strip club on this ship for captured princesses?"

"HECK, YEAH!" Tsuru beamed.

"Haha, great! That's one vote! Spread the word, get the others involved." Bill hung up.

"YES!" Tsuru cheered. "We're getting a princess strip room!"

The other three exchanged weird glances. "Uhh… I thought we were making a Prince Albert joke." James said.

After that, they snuck into Yellow Diamond's room while she was absent. Xehanort used his Keyblade to open her giant bedside drawer. The boys climbed up, with James and Tsuru giddy to see what giant alien undies she wore (Xehanort was just tagging along and Zorc was detested). …They were surprised to find tiny, human-size clothes.

James and Tsuru curiously picked up a pink bra when an angry Jessie climbed up behind them. Apparently, Yellow Diamond let her use this drawer to store her clothes so they wouldn't be bunched in with James' in their cramped smelly room. The boys ran across the halls as Jessie chased them in a rage. (End song.)

"You have a very curious psychology, Baldy." Xehanort said as they were headed back to the room. "I was glad to have a chance to study it."

"Hyah, I had fun, too!" Baldy grinned.

"I must admit, I think I've found a friendship with you three." James smiled. "Jessie was right. You Thirteen guys aren't as scary as you seem."

"Speak for yourself." Zorc huffed.

"And now, back to the sanctity of our exclusive men's…" Tsuru stepped first into the room. "CYAAAAH!"

Their room was bright pink and occupied by princesses in pajamas. "THIS PILLOW WAS MINE!" Fiona yelled, playing tug-o-war with Rapunzel.

"That fat one over there is yours!"

"Me mother's a BEAR!" Merida exclaimed (no, it's not the same one :P).

"My grandmother's a tree." Pocahontas replied.

"GIRLS!!" The boys panicked. "RUUUUUN! (Our manhood is compromised!)" And they ran away.

Bill pointed the camera at himself and said, "The boss knows how to have fun, too!"

Von Schweetz House—I mean, York House

Now Nolan was in a cloudy desert with cacti that looked like seaweed and block stacks with Aztec symbols. "Already? Well, it sure don't feel like an Affright dream. OKAY, DARKRAI, I'm still not understanding what you're trying to tell me."

Nolan heard island music coming from the direction of some cacti. He navigated around the cacti and discovered a picnic. The people in attendance were humanoid birds and the music came from a stereo. "Hm. Bird picnic. Not quite the weird dream I was expecting."

The birds flinched to attention when the cacti on the opposite side rustled. Madotsuki and two monochrome girls (one of them was the same as before) jumped out and bombarded the party with water balloons. The bird people flapped their wings frantically and tried to fly away, but more balloons came from unseen sources. Nolan walked around the party to find these accomplices. They were fuzzy versions of Vanellope, Ib, and Mary.

Somebody tapped Nolan's shoulder from behind: a slender, black alien with a white face and no mouth. "You're new. Who are you?"

"DWAH!" A stray balloon hit Nolan, scaring him awake. He felt his face, but it wasn't wet. Danika was poking his chest with nail clippers, stuck in her own dream. "You need therapy. Wait a minute!" He quickly got into his chair and rolled downstairs.

"How has Sunni been, Mary?" Ib asked as the girls were watching When They Cry. "She would've had to give you Psychic Chi to stay out this long, right?"

"Sunni's still pretty upset about her mom. But it's okay because if you adopt me Ib, I won't have to rely on her chi!" Mary grinned.

"My parents seem okay with it, we're just trying to get everything organized. It'll be nice to really have you in our family!"

Nolan rushed downstairs and thundered, "Alright, NO THROWING WATER BALLOONS IN MY… huh?"

The four looked at him like he was crazy. "Dad… we're watching TV." Vanellope informed with disbelief. In When They Cry, the characters were shooting water guns.

"…Oh." He looked up at Mado. "You were in my dream again. What's the deal with that?"

"I'm actually talking to you all from the Dream World. When Bill Cipher switched realities with me, I took some of his powers. I'm projecting myself into the slumbering minds of your dreamselves."

"…I still haven't figured out how bending works." Nolan rubbed his aching head.

"But you were appearing in my dream world." Mado mentioned. "For some reason, my friends were attracted to you. Are you… connected to the Dream World somehow?"

"Oh yeah, he's got that magic gem thing-!" Vanel remembered excitedly.

"Vanellope, please!" Nolan gestured a 'shush.' "Sigh… come with me."

Nolan led Madotsuki into the Sandcave. He put his hand on a pedestal scanner, triggering a round hatch to open on the floor behind it. Another pedestal with a metal cylinder came up. Inside was a green glowing gem with a point on either end. "An old friend gave this to me. It can warp you to the Dream World. It also turns the user into sand, which is good for a quick getaway. That's all it does, I think…"

"So, you can physically come to the Dream World?"

"Yeah, but I only used it in my teens, trying to find my life's purpose and such. But then I figured there's no point relying on dreams."

"…" Mado's half-closed eyes looked away. That was a lesson she was too late to learn. "Did you find a life's purpose?"

"It was either settle down and have a kid or keep being a hero. Now I'm just doing a little of both. But when I was on Mariejoa… I was almost certain that was the end. King Andrew killed me. And then…"

"Sorry Mr. York, but I don't want you to die, yet! I've become too fond of you!"

Nolan smiled, remembering Cheren's golden shiny grin. "It was like God didn't want me, yet. He thinks I'm too important. I don't see why… those kids done replaced us. They've done more than we ever did in one month. Hard to believe there would be room for an old man like me."

"Can you enter the Dream World now?"

"You mean with this? I… guess I could."

"Would you?"

Nolan looked at her curiously. Her eyes were a bit more open. It seemed this girl felt a connection between them. And if he said 'no'… he might not get an ounce of sleep tonight. He calmly grabbed the Gem of Dreams and closed his eyes. In a flash, Nolan vanished from the Sandcave.

Dream Realm

Unlike any other time he was in the Dream World, Nolan was in his wheelchair, sitting on a cliff overlooking a city at night. Behind him was an average park with lamp posts, fountains, and faceless people on benches. Madotsuki was beside him, a soft wind cooling their necks. "What was your life like, York-san? Did you ever want to escape into dreams forever?"

"Most of my dreams were nightmares… so I guess I would have to say 'no.' And if I had, I think I would have disappointed a lot of people."

"There's a lot of turmoil in your mind. I can feel it. The only reason I have friends now is because of what that monster did. If I don't help stop him, those people will be disappointed, too. And when I have so many people relying on me… thinking about me… it feels good. But what happens when they don't need me, anymore?"

"If they care about you, then they'll always need you. That's what I think, anyway."

"I think they will, too. These people are nice. I just wonder how they'll feel about it."

At this, Nolan turned to find Madotsuki's dream friends: Mafurako the invisible hat-and-scarf girl, Kamakurako the sleeping girl, Masada the alien, and Poniko facing the other way. Masada was the one to approach Nolan as he touched the Gem of Dreams. "It really is the same gem I read about. It was made by Morpheus, one of Darkrai's apprentices, and it contains properties of the Protoon."

"I know." Nolan said. "It was made to help people with psychological problems."

"Indeed. But it was also created so that denizens of your world could better interact with the Dream World. It was made so our worlds could connect. But it seems that idea was lost to the ages. Can't say I blame them, with monsters like Bill Cipher."

"It feels so warm." Madotsuki touched the gem. "If I had this when I was alive… I wonder if it would've helped."

"I don't know." Nolan replied. "Maybe I can let you have it. It's not like I found much use for it."

Madotsuki looked at him. "York-san… even if I get my reality back, I don't have a home, anymore. Vanellope said you would be willing to adopt me like you did her. She said it couldn't be that big a deal since you don't have to spend money on her."

". . . . ." Nolan gave it some thought. Looking back, they adopted Midna, adopted Vanellope, briefly had Django stay with them… "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We just got rid of Midna and we have to make room for someone ELSE?! I'm a crippled vigilante who rarely gets to hang out with his wife and son, NOT A FOSTER PARENT!"

That was what he said in his head. But what he actually said was, "Um… I'll… consider it. Either way, if you like this gem, you're welcome to visit."

"I'll consider it." Mado smiled. "Oh! Poniko!"

The ponytailed girl came to touch the gem, but her eyes were still averted. Kamakurako lay on the ground and touched it from below. Mafurako touched it and assumed a visible form. One of Monoko's multiple hands touched it, as did her sister Monoe. "Sigh… and I thought Foster's was a messed up home."