Ice Cream Land

Today's Thirteen skit features a new character from Sarstar98!

Oil Ice Mountain

Summer was a wonderful time in even Iceland. With school out for everyone, kids were either joyfully playing at the playground or at the cool, refreshing pool. But Sector IC, on the other hand, were freezing on Oil Ice Mountain, simply because Suki wanted to play up there. "Wheeeee!" She left a glittery trail in her wake, gracefully skiing up and down slippery slopes on her own feet. "Hurry up, Sister-chan! Don't be sloooow!"

"We don't know how to control these things!" Terry shouted as he and his friends were sledding on the backs of sentient snowmen. "Or see the frickin' path we're supposed to race on!"

"I assume we're just supposed to follow Suki!" MaKayla called.

"Snowy Twister!" Suki sprouted up a cyclone of snow, catching the team inside as they screamed to the heavens.

After the cyclone vanished, the kids all plopped down onto the snow, along with the remains of their snowmen. "Snowball War!" Suki willed the large snowballs to levitate and chuck them against the older kids.

"No changing the game in the middle of one!" George retorted, molding and throwing a snowball, but the child caught it with bending, made it twice George's height, and crushed him with it.

Before they knew it, a wall of snow was rising around them, enclosing to become a giant snowball. "For the love of crud…" Terry moaned.

"YAAAAAAY!" Suki leapt on top of the giant snowball. As her friends' heads peeped out of it, Suki began balancing on and rolling the snowball downhill.

"Ow!" Terry yelped when Suki stepped on his head. "Why can we-" he was briefly buried under snow, "-never do any- ow!" stepped on by Suki, "-thing without-" buried in snow, "SUKI!"

"She's one of the Seven Lights, so she's going to need bodyguards by the time we get to the New World." MaKayla reasoned.

"What's a Seven Light, Miyuki-chan?"

"I take it she STILL doesn't know?" Lola questioned.

"Know what? Are you planning a surprise party, Sister-ch-"

The snowball CRASHED into a log cabin, half-burying it in snow. Miyuki poked out and said, "Uh-oh. I think this is the Climbers' house."

"I'm not shoveling an OUNCE of snow when it's Suki's fault!" Terry stated.

"It's okay, these people are pretty passive." Kayla said. "If we're lucky, they'll just bend the snow off their selves."

"DAMMIT, POPO!" The sudden shout prompted the kids to re-submerge in the snow. Nana stomped outside and examined the snow with anger. "I told you to play with the kids AWAY from the house! After getting your stupid ass fired, the LEAST you can do is show more concern for our WELFARE!"

"The kids aren't even HERE, stupid, what you think I rolled a snowball into our house for the heck of it?!" Popo yelled from inside.

"You know it ain't gonna be YOUR house for very long, this is probably some pre-meditative revenge scheme!"

"You're calling me a stupid-ass and you assume I can 'pre-meditate'?!"

The fighting continued as the five sectormates poked their heads out of the opposite side of the pile, making the shape of a ring. "This would actually explain the avalanches I've been hearing lately." Kayla said.

"Are we going to confess for their sake?" Terry asked begrudgingly.

"It's the right thing to do, Terry." George replied.

Immediately, Suki burst out of the snow (in the center of their ring), hands clamped over her ears as she ran. "Well, I guess a child's innocence results in dishonesty." Lola figured.

"Suki!" Miyuki pursued her.

"Hey, wait!" yelled Terry.

"Who's back there?" The others flinched when Nana and Popo stepped around to find them. "What are you kids doing? Popo, did you crush them in snow without looking?!"

"I DIDN'T DO THIS!!"

"Both of you calm down!" MaKayla helped herself out of the cold fluff. "The snowball was our fault, okay? We were playing higher up and it just happened on accident."

"But if we're being honest, it's mostly 100% Suki's fault, 'cause she trapped us in it." Terry noted.

"Oh, it's okay, kids." Popo smiled. "She was going to find some excuse to blame me, anyway."

"Well, I don't usually have you as the prime suspect for NOTHING."

"Right, 'cause we have to live in Eskimo days where HUSBAND is man of house, and husband does all work, not the lazy submissive wife! Why can't we just set up a tent while I hunt for meat?"

"YOU'RE living in a tent, I'm taking the kids and going somewhere else!"

"The Frozen HELL you are!"

"This series was better without the realism…" Terry said.

Miyuki followed Suki's footprints down a hill and around a ledge. "Suki?" She was sitting on the ground.

"Hi, Sister-chan!" She grinned happily. "I thought I saw a snow bunny, but I think I lost it. Then I realized, I could make my own snow bunny! Look!" She held up a tiny snow-made bunny in her palm. "Isn't he cuuute?"

Miyuki loomed her face very close to where the bunny could kiss the tip of her nose. "Ha ha!"

"I wanna keep him, but I think he wants to be with his family." She gently set the bunny near her feet and used bending to create a family of bunnies, frolicking happily among the flakes.

Miyuki smiled. The bunnies reflected her sister's innocence. She was ashamed to have to ruin it. "…Suki, now that we have a moment, there's something I need to tell you about."

"What, Miyuki-chan?"

"Um… you remember when we made you sit in that big room with all those other people? And that giant door opened, then there was the… big green monster?"

"I thought it was a school play!"

"Ha ha! Well, it wasn't. The thing is, Suki… you're sort of a Chosen One. You're one of Seven people who are supposed to save the universe."

"Tee hee hee! Don't be silly, Miyuki-chan! Why would somebody choose ME to save the universe? Don't they know I'm too young?"

"I really don't know, Suki." Miyuki chuckled. "But it's true. You have a really important job to do. In a few years, we're going to be fighting some powerful villains, and if we lose, everything we know and love will be destroyed."

"Nuh-uuuuh! Bad guys never destroy everything because we always win!"

"Yeah, but we can't underestimate these guys. I mean, we're only on this giant boat because Lord English destroyed our home universe."

"Giant boat? Sister-chan, what kinda crazy dream did you have? Do we gotta put you in the crazy house?"

"Wow… you don't even remember. Suki, I better just show you." Miyuki pulled Suki to her feet. "Nebula, warp us out!" In a flash, the sisters vanished. The snow bunnies collapsed into dead fluff.

Noah

The girls reappeared in the Planet Storage. "Whuh? How did we get here? Ooo, look at the pretty ornaments!" Suki pointed happily at the tiny planets. "Are you planning Christmas early?"

"Suki, those are planets. Shrunken planets. See, there's Earth. Nebula here shrunk them to keep them safe inside this ship. Come take a look."

Miyuki took Suki outside on the Noah's deck. A lime-green current surrounded them as they seemed to sail on endlessly. "Sister-chan… this is weird. Hey, look at that sting ray!" She pointed ahead. "It's so big! What's that big thing on its back?"

"Suki, don't you get it? The universe was destroyed, so we're all taking refuge on this ship. All the planets and everybody we know. And in about three years, they'll be relying on US to protect them. Part of that responsibility falls to you, because you're one of the Seven Lights. I'm trying to tell you so you'll be ready, Suki."

"R…Ready for what?"

"Ready to fight all the powerful villains I just mentioned. You need to become even better at icebending, and you need to learn how to use that key in your pocket."

"This little key that turns into a big key?" Suki drew her Keyblade. "Oop!" It suddenly poofed to sword size.

"Yeah. I think you need to learn to fight with it. Everyone's depending on you to protect them."

"But I don't know how to protect them!"

"I know. That's why you have to train and be ready to fight."

"But I don't wanna! It sounds hard!" Suki threw the Keyblade on the deck in anger. "Aah!" It poofed back to her hand.

"I don't think you have a choice, Suki…"

"NO, NO, NO, NO!!" Suki bashed the key against the deck in a fury. "I don't WANNA be a Light, don't WANNA! Miyuki-chan, quit joking with me! Tell me it's a joke!"

"Suki, it's not. I don't know how else to explain it to you. It's…It's your destiny."

"NOOOOOOO!" Suki dropped the Keyblade and ran back into the hull. The key poofed to her hand, she dropped it, it poofed back, she dropped it…

"Suki… I'm sorry…"

King Dutchman

Bill's morning began like any other: not knowing if it was really morning in this out-of-shape universe. He just felt like going to sleep, now he feels like waking up. He lazily limped to the bathroom, showered in some kind of dark water, and brushed his teeth with gold toothpaste. With a snap of his fingers, he was in his normal attire. "Ah, another day, another apocalypse." he said as he pushed open the door to his office.

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" The peace and quiet was ruined by a familiar scream.

"That's why I didn't get an alarm clock." Bill said, heading in the voice's direction. "Baldy, what are you crying about this… time?!"

"BILL! HEEEEELP!" It seemed that the Multiverse Portal was spiraling out of control, and Baldy's eyes were seen in it. "I woke up with a serious case of the swirlies! Get me my brain-numbing medicine!"

"Haha, so Dimentio decided to pull a little prank on you, did he? Okay, you can let him go now."

"Unfortunately, that isn't me." Bill turned, shocked to find Dimentio behind him. The jester's face appeared far more gloomy than usual. "I don't know why, but I feel far more empty today." An aura of Death brimmed around him.

"YOU! SQUID FREAK!" bellowed Yellow Diamond's voice down the hall. Bill walked out, seeing the giant covered in barnacles and a tentacled beard. "What did you DO TO ME?!"

"I could ask the very same-ah!" replied Jones, flicking a wand that made a wall explode. He was also in his human form. "This wand smells like a naked man! I miss not having a nose."

"Zorc! Where are you?!" A little card wobbled up the hall, containing Voldemort. "I know you're behind this! Hey, what are you doing with my wand, Jones?!"

"Who stole my Infinity Gauntlet?!" Thanos stomped into the room, burning with dark flames.

"I saw Teach scratching his armpit with it." Ganon replied, sparking with lightning.

"Xehanort, what are all your keys doing in my room?" Madara asked, carrying a load of Keyblades in his arms and discarding them on the floor.

"Do I seem odd to anyone?" Xehanort seemed to be flickering between distorted body parts, holding Aizen's sword. "I feel odd today…"

"Oof! Has anyone seen my sword?!" Aizen was walking around dizzily, using Madara's Sharingan to see. "I feel like I can see everything, yet I see nothing! Ow!"

"Someone just tell me what's going on here…" Zeref walked in, his body having changed into a jack-in-the-box.

"Hey, fellas! Enjoying my Easter Eggs?!" taunted an unknown voice. Bill looked toward his office, the Darknesses following him. "I mean, we can make it any holiday we want in a dimension without time, right?" A figure rotated in Bill's office chair before resting his gold-plated boots on the desk and stopping. The strange man had silvery-black hair with matching goat horns, and black and silver armor that seemed to highlight his abs.

"Oh, great. Dimentio, did you let in another drifter?" Bill asked.

"If I did, he went right under my nose."

"Let's just say invisibility powers are common." The man said, flicking a glass ball into the air and catching it. "Name's Pyronem. Blood Knight to the Devil of Deprivation." He tossed a business card to Bill, who skimmed the info.

"'Blood Knight, Daemonis… Special skill: Stealing peoples' powers'?" Bill cocked a brow.

"Bingo, right on the dot!" Pyronem showed more balls between his fingers before they left with a slight-of-hand. "I basically did one of those rock-in-a-cup shuffle games, but with their powers."

"Right, right, sure ya did. Well, how 'bout I just call up the Big Man and have him erase you from existence, okay?"

"No worries, man!" Pyro was up on his feet, flashing the 'A-OK' sign. "I already spoke with your boss and he was okay! By the way, did you know that in some universes, this sign is racist?"

"Yeah, that was the media's fault." Bill shrugged. "Honestly, they're just asking to be destroyed—WAIT, whaddyou mean he was okay?!"

"See for yourself~" Pyro chucked a ball that poofed into a TV, showing static before it played a recording of Lord English reading a story to Pyro.

"And so, the white-haired emo chick decided she was okay with the purple albino boy painting her nails. They lived happily ever after and had emo albino babies. I wanna write a sequel, but I wanna think of a name for emo-albino hybrids."

"How about 'Emobino'?" Pyro asked.

"YES! THAT IS BRILLIANT! Those names were just asking to be fused! Like two interlinking hands, they fit!"

"They sure do, Big Man! Your writing is truly inspiring!" Pyro grinned with pure dishonesty. "I can't wait for the next piece! So-can-I-do-the-thing?"

"Of course! Anything for a fan! But only for a day, we can't goof around forever." English snapped his fingers and poofed a card in Pyro's hand.

"See? A day pass to use my power on the Darknesses!" Pyro held it for confirmation.

BOOOOOM! The ship suddenly rumbled violently under the familiar quaking of Blackbeard's Tremor power. However, the quake originated from Truman Zorc's tiny left foot, the child having just walked in in his pajamas. "So, that's why my room fell to pieces! You have a lot of nerve."

"Zehahaha! It's not much different from my own power, at least!" Teach laughed, flexing the Infinity Gauntlet's fingers.

"Where are you getting off with this, Pyro-boy?" Bill asked.

"Come on, Cipher, you want allies, right? Well, I know a couple-a guys who'd just love to get in on this business! They're super strong, super bad, so I think they fit your 'Bill'… get it? And all I want you guys to do is go a day using each other's powers! Like a bonding exercise! Heck, I even got a couple body-swap powers if you wanna use those."

"Can I have the TV power?" Baldy asked, still whirling in the portal.

"Hmm… what do you guys think?" Bill asked his associates.

Ganon, Thanos, Diamond, Madara, and Jones all shared the same response: FIST-PALM!

In a second, those five were walking out with their restored powers. "Puny aliens…" Diamond mumbled. Thanos sniffed his gauntlet and flinched in disgust.

"Well, not my worst first impression." Pyronem said. "What about the rest of you?"

The remaining Darknesses exchanged glances. "I suppose I could give it a go." Dimentio said glumly.

"Not having my curse for a day could be fun." Zeref replied, his hair falling out.

"Hahaha! This feels rather fun!" Truman happily stomped his foot and shook the ship.

"Does that mean the rest of us get the day off?" Teach asked, currently with no powers at all.

"I guess so." Bill shrugged.

"Sweet! Aizen, let's hit the cherry bar!" The pirate dragged his friend off.

"As for the rest of you, get back to work! Or at least… try to make it work." (Play "Town Mission Comical" from Sonic 2006!)

In the World of Titans, the people of Shiganshina cried and fled as the man-eating Titans had breached their city. Hundreds were being consumed by the minute, and there was utterly no hope for anyone. "HELLO! MIND IF I JOIN IN?"

The Titans looked up, jaws stretched wider than ever: a colossal Xehanort completely dwarfed the walls, making the Titans seem like ants. The Titans ran for their lives, many diving into the sea. "Heh heh heh. Aizen's power makes it too easy." Xehanort chortled, the giant illusion mimicking him. "Now then… All humans will submit to Lord English or I will trample the world!" The humans bowed in submission, knowing all hope was lost, anyway.

On Planet Etheria, a skull-faced man was hard at work designing a complex machine. "After a thousand failures, my portal is bound to work this time! I just need it open for a brief millisecond, and the Horde's armies will-"

"HEEEEEELLLLP!" Baldy's portal burst through the ceiling, destroying the machine like a chainsaw and buzzing around the room, soon to break out and return to the sky. Before Hordak could even question what happened, the sky ruptured, and a fleet began laying waste to the kingdom.

Zorc landed on Rokkenjima, a private island with a peaceful forest. The possessed child happily began stomping his foot, feeling stronger than ever in his little body as the island collapsed under a powerful earthquake. The rich family who were conversing in the nearby mansion were swiftly buried under the rubble. Having had his fun on the ruined island, Zorc left. Only one survivor, a woman named Eva, managed to free herself from the rubble. "G-George… Hideyoshi… everyone is dead! Ange will be devastated… how will I ever explain this to her?"

Dimentio was at Charles Darwin Middle School, figuring he could at least kill some animals. The problem is, he was required to "love" things to harness the Death Chi… and he held no love for this cluttered mess of a school. These smelly, filthy, idiotic animals were a complete contrast to that which he loved. "Endless space… why must I always be denied my endless space? So empty…so quiet… I…I love it so much…"

His heart grew with powerful love, and in a second, the entire school ground was whisked into ashes. "Well… better than something." Dimentio smiled.

Zeref landed on Dream Land, having already engaged Kirby and friends in a battle: "Super Fist of Blue Magic, Giant Death Hammer!" Figuring anything goes with Baldy's power, he was sure to win in an instant! …A giant piece of rotting ham fell on Zeref. "No, I said 'Death Hammer,' not Dead Ham!"

"You need to do funny things!" Baldy yelled, whirling over the sky.

"Fine! Fist of Blue Magic, minigun that shoots inflating gum into peoples' lungs!" A minigun poofed in his hands, shooting gum into Kirby's mouth. Unfortunately, since Kirby's lungs were endless, the gum expanded to infinity, becoming its own gummy universe with bubbly inhabitants. Eventually, the Gummen learned of the existence of the outer universe, so they broke the dimensional barriers, setting foot in Dream Land, and began to conquer the kingdom in order to open a leaf-blower factory. "Well… that works." (End song.)

"Ahh ha ha ha ha! A little iffy, but I think my Darknesses are having fun." Bill laughed.

"I can feel them growing closer already." Pyronem said. "Perhaps they'd like to go another day."

"I'm not going another minute in this card!" Voldemort spun around in his card.

"Whoops, forgot you were down there."

"Eh heh heh… but more importantly, I hope you'll hold up your end of the deal." Bill faced up at Pyro with a raised brow. "Didn't you promise me some super strong guys?"

"Chill out, Billy, I never forget a deal." Pyro flicked up another glass ball, which poofed into a stack of papers. "I already printed a bunch of job aps! …You wouldn't believe how hard it was to find someone with job ad powers. Just say the word and I'll send these out to my friends. They're a pretty busy bunch, so don't expect a call right away."

"So long as we get our names out there, I don't care how long it takes! Just tell them it'll be better to call before we get to them first."

Sector IC Treehouse

"Why didn't you just tell her after the Arendelle incident?" Terry asked her.

"She had already been through enough that day. Also, I guess I just sort of… neglected to tell her." Miyuki scratched her head, feeling sheepish. "Maybe I just assumed she would learn it on her own. It seemed like everyone else knew about it…"

"We're lucky we got this far without her even knowing." Kayla said. "Maybe… it was for the best that she didn't know. Suki's never known what it means to have a huge responsibility. Unlike us, she's lived most of her life carefree and happy."

"Yet, she insists on going with us everywhere!" Terry shouted. "She goes with us on all our missions, and the worst part is she kicks WAY more butt than we do!"

"Oh my God, Bro, are you jealous of Suki?!" Lola laughed.

"NO!!" Terry blushed. "I just don't get why Suki is SO good at fighting and comes on SO many missions with us, the second we actually need her for something, she's gonna act like a baby and cry!"

"Guys, we're thinking about this the wrong way." George said. "I mean, Suki never practiced icebending to get stronger and fight enemies. She does icebending because it's fun. And her skill kinda came naturally, I guess."

"Finally, one of you gets it!" said a voice from above. With a start, the kids looked up to find Jack Frost sitting on a branch. The winter spirit softly drifted down and set foot on the wood floor. "Her free spirit and her love makes Suki who she is. She's the example that there's still fun to be had in childhood. Not like you Kids Next Door operatives."

"And who are you to talk?!" Terry retorted. "You practically tricked Suki into helping you with Elsa!"

"Fine, you got me there. But Elsa's storm was created from darkness, that's why I needed Suki's icebending to counter it. I know that it's important for Suki to know, but she isn't like you guys. Her strength comes from having fun and being happy."

"But is that going to be enough to fight the Darknesses?" Miyuki asked.

"Well, how about we not actually think about fighting the Darknesses?" Jack smiled intuitively. "Maybe just let Suki do her own thing, y'know?"

"Hmm… I think I understand what you mean."

Suki's Room

Suki had created a tiny amusement park from the snow in her room. The snowpeople rode the gentle mini Ferris wheel, the calm-moving mini roller coaster, and tasted snowflake-sized ice cream. "Oh!" A snowchild seemed to trip. "I'm sorry, Snowboy!" She picked him upright. In truth, Suki hadn't been very focused in the last hour. She couldn't comprehend the fact everyone was living on a tiny planet. What if everyone on Earth was being controlled just like her snowpeople?

There was a light knock on her door. "Suki-chan, it's me. I brought someone to visit you." Miyuki entered, followed by the person who made Suki's eyes brighten with joy.

"Jack Frost!! Oop, don't step on my snowpeople!"

"Oops, sorry!" Jack stopped himself, seeing the mini theme park by his feet. "Aww, you made yourself a little park! What's it called?"

"It's called Ice Cream Land! All the rides are made-a ice, and they only serve ice cream! 'Cause that's all snowpeople needs."

"It looks like a wonderful place, Suki!" Miyuki smiled. "I wish we were small enough to go there."

"We don't need to be any smaller, Sister-chan."

"Oh yeah… I wanted to talk about that." At hearing this, the snowpeople all fell and the rides stopped. Miyuki frowned nervously. "Ahem… Suki…" Then, with a sweet grin, she said, "I actually WAS joking!"

"HUH??"

"Yep! That was really just a museum we warped you to! My friends and I staged the whole thing as a prank. I'm sorry if we scared you too badly."

"Ooooohhh! Hee hee hee! Miyuki-chan, you're silly! …But, what's the big key for?" She took out the Keyblade- "Whoa!" it poofed to sword size.

"I got you that as a gift. Lots of our friends have them now. They help improve your bending abilities. With it, you can do even more amazing things with your icebending!"

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, take a look down there." Jack indicated the tiny snowy theme park. "If those snowpeople can enjoy a tiny Ice Cream Land, imagine how much fun people would have at a life-size Ice Cream Land?"

"I could make thaaaat??" Her young eyes were brimming with imagination.

"Give it a try, Suki!" Miyuki said.

The field outside Oil Ice Mountain

"So… how do I use this Key-thingy?" Suki questioned.

"We have NO idea." George laughed.

"Just try your best, Suki!" MaKayla encouraged.

"Okee!" Suki channeled icebending to her Keyblade, the weapon shining with mystical blue light. The grass field froze to ice under her surge of chi, and the operatives gazed in awe as a Ferris wheel of pure, glittering ice materialized out of thin air.

Children at the playground felt the air become slightly chillier. "Hey… what's that over there?" A boy pointed in the distance, seeing the top of the Ferris wheel.

"I dunno. Wanna go see?"

Suki conjured a roller coaster designed like Santa's sleigh, a giant snowball that people could sit in as it would roll across a track, and a skyscraper-sized Christmas Tree with stairs leading up to each branch, simply meant for exploration and observing all the colorful decorations. Within minutes, kids from all around the neighborhood came to see this summer winter wonderland. They even came straight from the pool without changing out of their swim gear. "What is this place??" a girl exclaimed.

"This is ICE CREAM LAAAAAAND!" Suki created the front gate to spell the park's name in solid ice.

"Where's the ice cream?!" a boy asked in excitement.

"We… just opened up, so we need to order some!" MaKayla answered with equal excitement. "Anyway, COME AND ENJOY THE RIDES!"

"YAAAAAY!" The children charged into the park with utmost joy. The only ones wearing a shred of winter clothes were Sonny and Donna.

"Is Suki gonna be able to manage this whole park by herself?" Lola asked.

"Relax." Jack chuckled. "I'll give her a hand with controlling these rides. Meet ya at the roller coaster!" He soared off.

"Sigh… we're never gonna have a real summer, are we?" Terry made a light smile.

"There ain't no summer in Iceland!" Kayla giggled. "And especially not Ice Cream Land!"

"Hee hee hee! Everybody's so happyyy!" Suki twirled on her toes.

"They sure are, Suki! You created something really amazing here!" Miyuki said.

"Hee hee! …Miyuki-chan… you're really bad at joking."

"Uh… I am?" Miyuki blushed.

"All that stuff you told me is real, isn't it? You just want me to feel better… but I gotta do all that stuff, don't I?"

"Well… yes. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun doing it. Just enjoy yourself for now, Suki. Have as much fun as you like!"

"Ha ha ha! Okay, Sister-chan! I'll have lots and LOTS of fun! And one day, Ice Cream Land is gonna be EEEEVEN bigger!"