Heir to the Gas Mask

York Household

"Phew, what a wild ride that was…" Nolan sighed, returning to his house and hanging up his coat. "Gotta tell you, Dani, Mumbo's still got the magic. He trapped us in a mirror maze that made us think we were boy scouts. …It was scarier than it sounds."

"Oh, nothing scares you, sweetums." Danika said, planting a kiss on his cheek while Cheshire forcibly grabbed his shadow and tried to suck its face off. "Dillon wanted to get back to his game, so he already ate. I kept yours hot though! Unless you got more world-saving to do."

"Not tonight. Hopefully, the Brotherhooders get the memo about the worlds being shrunk. And that means more quality time with mah boy!" He turned to Dillon on the couch.

"Never say that again, Dad."

"Ah, they grow up so fast. Still playing Arkham Country?"

"Hyeah, check it out!" Dillon pointed. "Vanellope glitched herself in the game and she's beatin' up all the bad guys!" Indeed, Batman was standing in place while Vanellope zipped around and knocked out enemies.

"Alfred, I've taken out the thugs." Batman said.

"NO YOU DIDN'T, stop stealing my thunder, you big Batjerk!" Vanellope shouted.

"Good to see ol' Batman isn't getting old, huh?" Nolan chuckled.

"Yeah, but the Nightwing sections are my favorite. I like Nightwing."

"Yeah, he's cool. Batman's gotta be careful about having so many kids, though. They're gonna start to get jealous of each other!"

"I think one of them kinda did…"

"Ah, yeah. But just think, if I get too old, you may have to take over the Sandman gig."

"Come on, like I wanna wear a trenchcoat and a gas mask. I mean, after I get Midna back, my shadowbending will be so strong, I won't need any equipment!"

"You're seriously planning to rely on Midna to bail you out of training?"

"What, no! I'm training on my own time. I just don't need the Sandman gig to kick butt."

"I thought you loved the Sandman gig?"

"I liked it when I was little, but I… well, I've been kicking a lot of butt lately. Heck, I defeated a World Leader! What'd you do during that battle, Dad? I mean, you had a good talk with King Andrew, but mostly, you were just sorta… there."

"Oh… I see. Alright, well, I'll be in the Sandcave if ya need me. Just, eh… turn the secret knob in the closet."

"Ya, I know." Dillon said, uncaring. With no more to say, Nolan rolled to said Sandcave. By the time he was gone, Dillon spoke up, "Oh yeah, Dad, someone came over to… eh, he'll figure it out."

Nolan entered the Sandcave with a glum expression, activating the main computer. As he scanned Quahog via his personal borrowed-from-KND satellite, he remained unaware of the sky-blue eyes gazing at him from the ceiling. The short, jumpsuit-clad assassin landed silently on his feet, drawing his knife and STABBING Sandman in the neck.

"Hu-!" Nolan gasped. He felt a rubber thing poking his neck. "Who's there?!" He whipped around, the figure jumping back.

"I killed you." The person glared, aiming his knife. "And in a few minutes, your body will realize it. …Ha ha! Just kidding!" He took off the ninja mask, exposing his sky-blue hair.

"Oh… You're the boy from Magnostadt. Nagisa, wasn't it?"

"Both correct! So, this is your hideout, huh?" The boy walked around. "Nice place! How much did it cost to install this under an ordinary house? Heh, I hope your wife wasn't too upset."

Nolan flushed. "Uh… H-How did you get in here?"

"I installed cameras in your house when everyone was asleep, saw you go in the closet, then I hid in the hallway's ceiling and watched you input the code as I followed you in just now."

"You…You did?!"

"Hnah! I just knocked on the door, Dillon answered, and he said I could go in! Kept saying how his dad liked to sneak him the updated codes on a strip of paper. Kind of weak security, if you ask me. If this were a real knife, I could've assassinated you!"

"Oh, please, I knew you were there all along. I saw you with my Detective Vision, you weren't holding anything deadly."

"Nice try!" Nolan nearly jumped out of his seat when Goombella jumped out from behind him. "But we BOTH know the Detective Vision is in your mask! I don't see you wearing it."

"You, too?! Is your whole sector here?"

"Nah, just me and Goombella; she couldn't resist coming to meet Sandman. See, you didn't know we were here! You could be DEAD!"

"Well, what's it to you? What are you even doing here?"

"Eh, it's kinda complicated." Nagisa explained as he leisurely explored the base, tossing the knife up and down. "Our school made us do an online survey where we figure out what we wanna do for a career, and like, during it, we had to think of an adult that we really admired… and the only one I could think of was you."

"…I'm… flattered?" Nolan said with a brow raised.

"Yeah, and another part of the assignment required me to ask other kids what they wanna do. Sheila wants to be a pirate, Mason wants to be a soda manufacturer, Kodama wants to be a supervillain… and then I realized, if we could be anything we wanna be, then I would like to be an assassin!"

"Whoa whoa whoa! I don't know what you've heard, kid, but the Sandman doesn't kill!"

"I know, I know! I don't kill either. But I was thinking I could do it like you do! Like, how… Batman does it."

"Find a different career, kid. The path I follow is too dark for your understanding."

"You just go out at night to beat up criminals. How is that any different from what the KND does? You even WORK with the KND often!"

"Ugh! Then why do you want to do what I do when you're already doing it?!"

"Eh, I dunno." Nagisa picked up a grappling hook. "Maybe I just feel like I need a proper teacher. With my own dad leaving when I was little, and my mom… wanting to cut off my privates."

". . . . ." Nolan had no comment.

"I mean, I'm not asking for an apprenticeship. You already have Dillon, so it'd probably be too much trouble to train someone else, am I right?" he chuckled.

"Er… yeah…" Nolan wasn't sure that would be happening anytime soon. "But I guess I could give you a crash course if you wanted."

"Really? Sweet! Uh, am I gonna need a wheelchair?"

"What? No. Just… come with me down to the training room." Nolan rolled into a downward corridor.

"Hee hee, there are no stairs in this base!" Goombella giggled.

Nolan led them to a large gymnasium-like room, instructing Nagisa to stand near the middle. "First, we're going to test your combat ability. Even stealth masters can't avoid a confrontation once in a while." He tapped a few buttons on a terminal.

"What code are you programming?" Goombella asked, jumping on his shoulder.

"It's pretty complicated."

"You typed '231' and you're about to push 'Enter.'"

"Ugh…" Nolan pushed 'Enter.' Five Stormtroopers materialized as solid holograms.

"This will be easy!" Nagisa ran up and dealt quick punches to the first Stormtrooper before kicking him down, and when another grabbed him from behind, he kicked its shin, then back-flipped behind the trooper, kicking him into another one. Nagisa jumped over another, grabbed its head, and did an aerial flip as he tossed the trooper into another. However, the troopers easily recovered.

"You haven't hit them hard enough." Nolan said.

"Against Stormtroopers?! What level did you set them to?!"

"It says Level 4." Goombella read.

"Quit looking! Alright, Nagisa, let's switch to stealth. The job goes fast, so be ready to change tactics." Nolan inputted another code (431), and holograms of five armed Stormtroopers materialized within a series of cans, desks, and other objects. Nagisa quickly ducked behind some cans. He heard a Stormtrooper coming around the corner, so Nagisa opened a vent and slipped in. The Stormtrooper calmly walked over the vent, Nagisa's sharp eyes fixed on him. The moment he passed, Nagisa hopped out and STABBED him in the neck with his rubber knife!

"…" The Stormtrooper turned to him confusedly. "I'm wearing plastic armor, and you have a rubber knife."

"Nagisa, what were you thinking?!" Nolan questioned.

"Hey, if this were a real knife, he would be dead!"

"So would you." The Stormtrooper said. With that, they all bombarded Nagisa with lasers.

"Ow-! Ow-! Ouch! Ah!"

"He's dead." Nolan said, turning the hologram off.

"Sigh… Sorry. Heheheh." Nagisa scratched his head sheepishly. "To tell the truth, I'm not super proficient when it comes to combat."

"He's right." Goombella smirked. "You should've been there when we took on Mr. Fizz last week."

Last week

"You will not stop me, Sector SA!" declared Mr. Fizz. "My army of Soda Ninjas will stop you!" Indeed, twenty ninjas with soda bottle nun-chucks surrounded the operatives.

Nagisa merely glared. He took the first step forward, and the ninjas leapt. Morgiana blasted up and kicked the first one, zipped back to kick the second, every single ninja targeted Nagisa, but Morgiana moved with rocket legs and kicked them down. Mr. Fizz panicked, for Nagisa had a scary look in his sharp eyes. He walked calmly and fearlessly, for not a single ninja could reach him before Morgiana attacked. Nagisa drew a knife, Fizz backed against the wall in fear. When the boy was a second away from reaching him, Nagisa THREW the knife into the air, and Fizz looked up with a gasp. CLAP! The sound startled Fizz into submission.

Nagisa twirled his knife and said, "Mission accomplished!" Morgiana smiled and nodded, having knocked out the last ninja.

Present time

"Well, at least you know how to have faith in your teammates." Nolan said. "Look, Nagisa, you're gonna have to drop the knife if you wanna do what I do. Instead of trying with holograms, I'll train you myself. Give me your strongest punch." He held his hand forward.

"HUH!" Nagisa punched.

"…Well, it's not weak. But it's not tough enough to scare criminals."

"That's a shame. My only workout buddy is Morgiana and she's the strongest girl I know."

"Yeah, but all he ever does with her is dodge or block her attacks." Goombella reasoned. "She's just naturally built, so it's sort of an unfair match."

"Doesn't he even work out?"

"Sometimes, I do." Nagisa replied. "But… I dunno. Whenever I'm lifting weights or doing squats, I always get bored. Maybe I'm just not built for combat. (Or it could be my mom talking…)"

"…" Nolan glanced at his knife. "What do you even do with that knife, anyway?"

"Scare enemies and pretend to be an assassin. You know, it's funny, I don't kill people, but I love watching people get killed on TV. …I mean, it wouldn't be the same in real life."

Nolan scratched his chin. "You know, let's set up a different course for you."

Within minutes, Nolan set up another stealth course. Nagisa hid in a vent and crept over to an unsuspecting Stormtrooper. Just like last time, he jumped out and STABBED him in the neck. This time, the Stormtrooper fell dead. His scream attracted two more Stormtroopers, so Nagisa laid a M.A.R.B.L.E. down. He hid in the vent and crawled away, climbing out of another vent and watching them. When they were close, Nagisa CLAPPED and exploded the small bomb. The last two Stormtroopers approached where the explosion was heard (boy, these guys aren't bright) from two different directions. Nagisa got behind the first one and chucked his knife into his back, killing him. The last trooper went to pick out the knife, but Nagisa had already crept behind him to twist his neck.

"Uh… Excellent job." Nolan said.

"Can I try one with a sniper rifle next?!" he asked excitedly.

"Uhh… Sure??"

Nagisa was soon stationed on a high part of the room, holding a holographic gun. Stormtroopers were patrolling around a maze of short walls. Nagisa crept to different sides of his walkway and found the perfect angles to shoot them. He was able to snipe each Stormtrooper before they had a chance to notice each other. "Ha ha HA! Man, that was AWESOME!" He raised the gun proudly.

"I only set 'em to Level 2, don't get cocky." Nolan said. "But how are you so good at killing people if you don't like killing?"

"I guess because I watch a lot of TV and fantasize doing it all the time." Nagisa replied, climbing down to the main floor. "Besides, they were only just holograms. …Do you think I could be a good assassin, Mr. York?"

"Honestly, kid… yes. There's just something about you that seems… built for it. And that's why I think you should find a different teacher."

"But I wanna learn from you!" Nagisa exclaimed with hands folded.

"Y-You do?" Nolan asked, taken off guard. He hadn't seen that look in anyone's eyes since Dillon was seven years old. The eyes of someone that viewed him as a hero and an inspiration.

"Yes! Because, I…I can't think of anyone else. And the report is due by the end of summer! I don't wanna spend my whole summer doing this assignment!"

"Oh." Nolan said with disbelief. "Look, Nagisa, I'm sorry, but a non-killer training an assassin not to kill… it just doesn't look right."

"But doesn't 'Sandman' use gas-type weaponry to knock out his opponents? How does THAT work without killing?"

"Because it's non-lethal gas that's supposed to stun the senses, of course." Nolan raised a glove. "Some of it emits from holes in my glove whenever I 'choke' armed guards. Of course, most of the time, I have to beat people up, and I can't always get in a good position to make them breathe it."

"Okay…" Nagisa held up his rubber knife. "…But what if you could make some sort of… solid version of that gas? A kind that could stun someone's senses simply by the touch, without having to ingest it?"

"How would you make something like that?"

"Don't look at me, YOU'RE the scientist! I was just tossing ideas around."

"Hmmm…" Nolan stroked his chin.

"Oooo, he's thinking of something!" Goombella beamed. "He's so cute when he makes that look!"

"Actually, Nagisa… could you come back tomorrow and bring a few things for me?"

These things in question were, in fact, Island Cloud chunks from Skypia, broke into little fluffy pieces. Nolan took a vial of liquid Nightmare Toxin and dipped a drop onto a cloud piece. The white fluff slowly turned pink, then Nolan picked a piece off with his gloved hand. He molded it into a tiny sphere, the size of a bullet. He took his glove off and decided to pinch it with his bare fingers. He gained nightmarish visions of The Shimmer and dropped the ball. He needed a moment to recompose himself, to which he shook his head 'no.'

He repeated the process, but this time added a dab of his own knock-out gas. He touched the ball barehanded again, but the effect remained the same. Afterwards, Nolan researched things that could counter fearbending, and Light Chi came up.

Nagisa would then get in contact with Cheren, who contacted Nebula, who contacted the Avalar KND, who would send over a shipment of Sun Flowers. They all questioned Nagisa's intentions, to which he replied it was merely a side project.

Nagisa and Nolan grinded the flowers into liquid light and imbued them into the cloud chunks, mixed with Nightmare Toxin and knock-out gas. However, the Light Chi seemed to negate the fear gas completely, and the compound had no effect unless someone would hold it to their nose and sniff the gas – it had less scent than it would in its pure form.

"We need something that could put a shock through the body just by the touch of it." Nagisa said.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!!" Goombella jumped, scaring them both.

Nagisa again used Cheren to contact the Skypian KND and have the Birkan branch send over chunks of Thunder Cloud. Nolan donned rubber gloves to work with the electric substance, mixing it with Fear Toxin, some Sun Flower to negate the nightmares, and knock-out gas. Nolan touched it and felt a shock in his fingers. His hand was stunned senseless, but it was still not enough. They spent the next couple weeks trying different compounds and amounts. If the substance was harmful to the touch, they wouldn't be able to handle it. They spent a few more nights working on it.

Their latest test resulted in a tiny pink bullet. Nolan pinched the soft substance, but felt no shock. He gave it to Nagisa, who took a few steps back and chucked the bullet into Sandman's hand, sending an invisible shock that numbed his arm. The three smiled, having finally made a breakthrough. Afterwards, Nolan designed guns that required no powder, just a simple spring to blast the harmless bullets out. He gave it to Nagisa, materializing 10 holographic Stormtroopers. Nagisa dodged their lasers with ease and shot back, taking the plastic-armored soldiers out while leaving nary a wound.

Nolan later shaved out a paper-thin layer of the substance and wrapped it over Nagisa's knife. Nagisa smirked and sliced Nolan in the stomach, sending an aching sensation that was equal to a real cut, yet non-fatal.

"I call it… Antikill!" Nagisa proclaimed.

"It's perfect." Nolan smiled.

"And IIIIII helped!" Goombella said proudly.

"Dad, Mom says it's time for dinner!" Dillon called, coming downstairs. "Huh? You're here again, Nagisa?"

"Oh, yah." Nolan said. "We've just been working on something."

"Your dad makes a great teacher, Dillon!" Nagisa said. "He's so cool!"

"HA HA ha! Wow, Nagisa, you sound even lamer than I used to be! Don't tell me you're gonna be dressing up like that and playing 'Discount Batman' too."

"Not exactly, but… what's so lame about it?"

"I dunno. It's just, after everything we've been through lately, my dad's shtick just feels kinda… 'meh.' You know? I mean, no offense, Dad, we appreciate you for keeping the city safe, but… well, we kinda have a universe to save now, and I doubt you'd be up to that. …Anyway, should I tell Mom that Nagisa's joining us? I'm sure we got somethin' for you to eat." With that, Dillon returned upstairs.

"GET BACK HERE, you jerk!" Goombella tried to chase him, but Nolan grabbed her ponytail. "Do you know who this guy is, he defeated Darth Genious, saved the world, and built my hometown!!"

"Take it easy, Little Mushroom." Nolan told her.

"But aren't you upset?" Nagisa asked. "I mean, I always imagined your son looked up to you."

"Well, he used to. But honestly, Nagisa, this is part of growing up. Kids stop paying attention to their idols and start wanting to be their own person." Nolan held and stared at his gas mask. "Honestly, I'm glad. Dillon won't have to waste his time wondering if his old man is proud. Not that I would ever be disappointed. …" He faced Nagisa again. "Nagisa… I have to admit: during this time, I was actually considering giving you my belt. Making you the next Sandman. …But I can't."

"Why, because you don't have a belt in girl's size?" Nagisa glared.

"What?! No!"

"Ha ha, just kidding! I know where you're going with this. You're having second thoughts about passing on the title because you think I should follow my own path, too, right?"

"Well, that too. But what I actually meant was, even though Dillon is tired of me… he's still my son. And I couldn't just trade him for someone else. It was an honor to work with you, Nagisa-"

"Ahem!"

"-and you, too, Goombella, but Dillon is the one I need to train. And not just for combat."

"I understand." Nagisa frowned. "But… could we at least keep in touch?"

"Of course!" Nolan extended a hand. "After all, you're an honorary member of the Sand Clan now!"

"The Sand Clan?" Nagisa snickered. "Did you just come up with that?"

"I was gonna say 'Sand Family,' but then I thought I'd make it rhyme."

"Heh heh heh. It's an honor, Sandman!" Nagisa grabbed his hand.

"Eeek!" Nolan was zapped and his hand went numb.

"Ha ha ha!" Nagisa showed him his hand, which had little pieces of Antikill taped to it. "I'm silent, but deadly!"

"You'll make a perfect assassin, kid!" Nolan laughed.

Unknown hideout

"IT CAN'T BE!" Caesar Clown exclaimed. "I-Is that really you… Darth Genious?!"

"You BET IT IS!" cheered Revan Bane Sidious, still in Inferius form. His loyal Brotherhood villains roared behind him. "And WE are going to start anew! Evolving from maniacal, evil supervillains to even MORE maniacally evil supervillains! And we want YOU!"

"COUNT ME IN!" Caesar beamed.

"Excellent! Then, I want you ALL to listen up!" Revan hovered to the ceiling. "It's clear that the Kids Next Door are up against some BIG TIME bad guys. And those bad guys have the means to take over the universe. Unfortunately… I fear these villains will be beyond our power. They probably think we Brotherhooders are a bunch of JOKES! That's why the Kids Next Door is training to fight them. And so, I want each and every one of you… to train your hearts out and HELP them!"

". . . . ." The villains were baffled. "Help the Kids Next DOOR?!" questioned Knightbrace.

"I'm afraid it's our only choice. As they are now, the Kids Next Door essentially rule this world. And if WE want to rule the universe ourselves, we first have to do something about those OTHER guys. We'll let the KND handle MOST of the work, and by the end of this, they'll be too tired to fight. That's when we MAKE OUR COMEBACK!"

"YAAAAAAAH!"

"But first, we have OTHER matters to attend to. I'm sorry to say that I may not be able to last in this form. My free will is limited, and I know the spirits will try to capture me. That is why… Caesar… I have brought you THIS!" Revan teleported a coffin onto the floor. "My corpse."

Bonus: It's Fun To Be Dead

In a sunset desert

"Did you know a Skeleton Soldier summoned by dark magic doesn't have its own soul?" Django said as a troupe of skeletons carried him and Kimaya on a platform. "They used to be their own person, but now it's the music that controls them." He played a catchy tune on his Mystic Guitar. "Their souls are probably floating up in Heaven. The poor fools."

"They lucky, I guess." Kimaya said. "They got no more worries. They set."

"Bored is more like it. There's only one good way to live: and that's being undead." He strummed the guitar while Kimaya played a harmonica. (Play "Marmalade Valley" from Paper Mario: Color Splash!)

It's much more fun to… BE undead

Detach your neck and… SPIN your head! *spins it on his finger like basketball*

Iiiiit's such an EASY thing

When you're sipping wine and then you choke on a ring!

Whoooo wants to be a spirit…

When you can make a xylophone right out of your bones! *plays his abs like one*

"LET'S HEAR IT!" cheered Kim.

It's so much fun to… BE undead

Fancy skull lines… and eyes shine red! *his eyes brim*

Noooo time for SLEEPING, hear?

I don't want no worms creeping in my ear

Stay awake, all day…

Wake up some friends and waste the night away!

BA DUM BUM. *a pyramid of skeletons rise and dance*

"Boy, Django. Bein' dead sure sounds hella fun." Kimaya said. "Is they anything wrong with it?"

"Well, there are a few issues. Like:"

There's a hole in my stomach

Where food used to go! *lifts shirt*

"Knew that."

There's a hole in my brain

Where SCHOOL used to go! *shows spider-web in skull*

"Screw that."

There's a hole in my bum where POO still goes!

"EW THAT!"

And I don't have to waste my mornings

Cleaning my nose!

"True that!"

But one thing in me's still whole!

My heart's still full of love

And I'm still full of soul!

"Aww, ain't you a charmer?" Kimaya smirked. "A'ight, Django, maybe Ah'll consider joining you. What do I gotta do?"

"Oh, there are plenty of ways. All are easy."

If you wanna join me, you just have to die

Just find a cliff and SAY good-byyyye!

I'll see you on the OTHER siii-ii-ide!

I'll make you BONA-fiiide!

It's very EASY to be DEAD!

All you have to do is get shot in the head *draws gun*

"You first." Kimaya swipes the gun and shoots back.

"Bo-o-o-o-o-one!" Django's head spins, but he's still strumming along. "Well, ya got me there! True, dying isn't totally easy. First, you gotta endure a funeral. A bunch of people crying and blowing noses. Makes ya lucky you won't produce that junk anymore."

"Yeh, but then I couldn't poisonbend anymore. I need mah belly for that."

"I could probably make an arrangement for that. Your body still keeps its chi after death, usually."

"Aw, ain't you sweet? Ah right, Django, I'll consider your offer. One day, I might join you in the undead."

"Okay, but it won't be right for me to encourage it. Nor do I want you to commit suicide. It'd just make ya look like an emo person! I know it's fun to be undead, but wait for death to come naturally, my friend."

"You got it. …We still makin' a CD outta this song, right?"

"Heck yeah!"

Newbase Cafeteria; 2 days later

"It's much more fun to… BE undead. Detach your neck and… SPIN your head!" Kids were lightly nodding their head to the song.

"Blimey, nobody liked Color Splash and he made a song outta one of its soundtracks." Sheila said.

"Has a nice ring to it." Mason shrugged.

"It's orright. But there's a few things wrong with it."

"Heh, you're a music critic?"

"I'm just sayin':"

If I was dead, then I couldn't taste

No yummy foods or toothy paste

No sun to WARM my skin! *kids look at her and nod*

Ah couldn't run or flex my shin! *she kicks up*

What's so great about bein' dead…

If I can't feel the wind brush past my head!

Her performance garnered applause.

Kimaya's House

"If you wanna join me, you just have to die." Kimaya sung quietly during breakfast. "Just find a cliff and SAY good-byyyye! I'll see you on the OTHER siii-ii-ide!"

"Kimaya, stop singing that." Kami told her.