F-24. Shoosh Pap

Hivebent

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, ya crazy sheila?!" cried Sheila, clasping April's shirt collar with her feet pressed against the artist's chest. "Don't you go tellin' me Cheren's been brainwashed by that fatarse!"

"Er, I'm afraid it's true, Sheila." April replied nervously. "But we're thinking of a way to save him. Hopefully, it doesn't come to the worst."

"Maaaaaan." Sheila's head hung back, crying. "This is the worst adventure evah. Not only 'as Cheren lost it, but me body feels dead as the dickens." With that, she plopped down on the floor. "You guys must've been to so many cool planets already… and all I got to see was a bloody pirate world. I SEE PIRATES EVERY DAY!! Errrrgh!" Sheila tried to lift a leg. "What in blazes is wrong with me?"

"It might have something to do with how you defeated Blackbeard." Mason said, pulling Sheila to her feet. "You know, when you drank the Sun Flurp mixed with Everbubble Fizz? That was overdoing it, even for you. You could've really hurt your chi paths."

"THEN FIX THEM, Mason, HURRY!"

"I'm not the doctor, Haruka is! But she went to rescue Cheren with the others…"

"At least wwe can safely assume that Xeha has been dealt wwith." Eridan said, looking at Kanaya's computer over her shoulder. "But it seems the intensity of the battle has wwiped Derse from the face of the univverse."

"The Dimension Rebels Are Going To Recover Kimaya And Django." Kanaya reported. "It Doesn't Seem Like Defeating Xehanort Reduced The Heartless Population. They're Already Being Surrounded."

"I don't care about them!" Chimney stated. "WHERE THE HELL IS MY GONBE?! I thought beatin' Whatshisname would bring him back!"

"No offense, Chimney, but I think Cheren takes priority." Apis said.

Chimney glared at her. "You're dead to me, Apis-chan."

"Hey, HEY!" Viridi materialized from a beam of light. Beside her was Death the Kid. "Your favorite goddess has returned!"

"What is this I hear about Cheren turning into Lord English?!" Kid shouted.

"A mistake is what it is." Nebula marched forward. "The transformation is apparently tied to Cheren's god powers. Do you remember the poison he used to defeat Viridi?" Said goddess stuck her tongue out. "If Cheren were to drink that, would he go back to normal?"

"I don't know, it was my father that gave it to him. Besides… that was the last Poison of the Gods in existence. That substance was too toxic to keep in production. Pity that it would have to be wasted on a petty child goddess."

"Serves you RIGHT." retorted Viridi.

"Then… we've lost our first option." Nebula sighed.

"The guilt burdens me." Fybi frowned. "Had I not breathed the Winds of Truth, he would not hath awakened the evil inside him."

"But Something Doesn't Make Sense." Kanaya said. "Vaati Said That Lord English Feared The Winds Of Truth. He Wanted Typheus Destroyed. So, Why Did He Need The Winds Of Truth To Awaken Cheren?"

"Thine words hold logic! Mayhaps we art missing a part of the solution. Yet, my breath holds no effect on Lord English's misdeeds. What am I overlooking?!" Fybi gripped her head in both hands.

"I dunno, mate." Sheila said nonchalantly. "But do ya think your Truth Wind can make me not feel limp?"

"Sigh… I shalt try." Fybi approached and breathed glowing wind over Sheila's body.

"I wanna punch me teachers in the noggins! And when me mum tells me not to, I mumble 'Like I'll listen to the drunk.'"

Mason and co. were baffled. "Nice to know, Sheila."

Sheila spun her fist to charge light, but only a small flicker resulted. "Darn it! It didn't work at all!"

"It seemeth this power dost not treat injuries. Had I only known, I would not hath fallen for Vriska's trickery."

"♪♪♪" Chelan hummed a little tune, gliding over Fybi.

"Oh? Hm hm!" Fybi smiled. "I thank thee for thine concern."

"You understood her?" Aisa asked.

"Thou didst not? Chelan claims that I shouldst not let guilt plague me so. 'Tis agreeable that thou wouldst miss that. Mayhaps the Winds of Truth enable me to better detect meaning in words and gestures."

"♪♪♪" Chelan danced over to the computer, much to Kanaya's confusion.

"Thou requests to view Planet Seemwy?" (see-em-wy)

"Seemwy?" Kanaya typed in the planet's name. "You Mean This One, Right? The Land Of Light And Rain." She displayed a beautiful planet of cyan, magenta, and yellow colors.

"♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪" Chelan danced to the tune.

"She claims the planet is composed of pure light with not a speck of darkness. It may be able to revitalize Sheila's chi paths."

"SWEET! Oi'm up for THAT!" Sheila cheered. "Get me to that planet ASA-Pronto!"

"♪♪♪"

"Thou wishest me to come, too? Very well. Sheila may require the protection, given her weakened state."

"I ain't going without my first mate!"

"I wasn't thinking of letting you go alone!" Mason beamed, excited to have his friend back at last.

"Come back soon, Maseyfairy!" Carol waved joyfully. "Bring us back a postcard!"

"Last one to the ship is waving my flag-!" Sheila ran for the hangar—and tripped.

Mason laughed, going to lift her up. "The last one there is gonna have to carry you around, heh heh." Chelan and Fybi flew after them.

Planet Seemwy

The Land of Light and Rain was an oceanic world, the waves reflecting the same magenta, cyan, and golden colors in every direction you look. The clouds were gold, and they continuously poured golden rain as though it fell from the sun. Ironically, no sun hovered above this world, yet the sea still bathed in eternal day.

The three operatives and Chelan landed on a magenta island, defined by an enormous turtle shell at the top of a mountain. The soil around the island was decorated by white sand. "Oi, this sand feels just like chalk!" Sheila exclaimed as she wiggled her toes in the soft gravel. "It reminds me when I was a tyke and drew on me own feet. And this RAIN!" Sheila held her mouth wide open, catching golden raindrops. "It's so DELICIOUS!! I never ever EVER wanna sleep again if I miss out on stuff this tasty and cool!"

"Indeed, being in this air giveth me more energy than I canst comprehend!" Fybi twirled in the sky. "I believest Sheila's chi will be restored in time. But why hast thou requested my presence here?"

"♪♪♪" Chelan hummed.

"This realm canst maketh me stronger as well? I believeth thee… and I am also curious about that strange shell perched up top."

"No one puts a shell on a mountain wifout ME goin' to look at it! C'mon, Mason, we need to pump the adventure back in our legs!" Sheila did a leap before racing up the shore.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Captain!" Mason chased after her. (Play "Light" from Homestuck!)

Stage F-22: Land of Light and Rain

Mission: Get to the mountaintop turtle shell!

Mason and Sheila encountered cyan crabs that emerged from the sand, easy prey for Sheila to dash behind and kick their weak spots. The shore reached its end as they would have to cross a bay. "I'm up for a nice swim!" Sheila dove into the wonderful water, followed by Mason, basking in its heavenly light. Small cyclones emerged from the sea, drawing the children closer. Fybi flew above and shot arrows at the water under the cyclones, disrupting their current and disabling them.

The duo came to rest on a small island, facing a pillar across some water. Updrafts seemed to flow out from the surface, circling the pillar. Sheila used her tail propeller to float in the updrafts, while Mason used poisonbending… in a socially unacceptable manner. On the pillar, a pile of rocks seemed to be covering another draft. "Oi dunno about you, Mason, but I reckon that swim rejuvenated a bit of juice!" Sheila spun her fist, charged light, and shattered the rocks, creating an updraft that blew partway up the mountain.

The friends rode the draft and set foot on white sand, within a small gorge. They entered a wider area where colored beings called Imps were drawing chalk designs around the walls. "♪♪♪" Chelan hummed.

"Chelan says thither be a passage on one of these walls, the switch disguised by the chalk." Fybi translated. "Be wary, for thou shalt anger the Imps for disrupting their work."

"I'm not scared." Sheila started spinning on her toes, using a fraction of lightbending to spin quickly, and used her tail to wipe away the chalk. The Imps grew angry and charged to attack her, but Sheila lit her fists and began a beatdown. Mason drunk some Purple Flurp to increase his strength and help defend her, quickly taking down the 10 Imps.

"You're still recovering, Sheila, don't overdo it… yet." Mason said. He saw a rectangle shape in one of the walls and went to press it, opening a cave. The inside of the cave was not any less bright, as small waterfalls poured from the ceiling into ponds. They followed the path between the ponds to a large underground river.

"I reckon me legs had enough time ta wake up!" Sheila flexed her legs. "Mason, hold on ta me, I'll get us across! The light in this water oughta make it easier." She grabbed Mason's arm, sent Light Chi to her feet and treaded across the river. Golden Sun Piranhas jumped out, but Sheila hit them away with her Keyblade. The river sloped upward, slightly hindering Sheila with gravity, but she stayed strong and kept running, maneuvering around rocks. The river led outside and ended (or rather started) at a shore.

Just after the shore was a cliff overlooking a lake of colored water. There were several cloud platforms leading across and to another cliff. They were too far apart to float to (especially since Sheila would need to carry Mason), so the Faunus shot Light Spheres to puff the clouds bigger. "Okay, Mason, on my shoulders." Mason sat himself on her as Sheila lit up her feet once more and jumped across the clouds before they would shrink again. They set foot on the cliff and jumped up some platforms where more water flowed down.

Before long, they were at the stairs leading to Tortoise Peak. Water flowed down the stairs from the shell's entrance. Mason and Sheila excitedly ran up—"Yipe!" Mason slipped and fell back down.

"Chelan claims that some parts of the stairs are in reality slopes." Fybi said. "The light maketh it difficult to spot."

"Mason, just stay behind and catch me." Sheila ordered. The boy caught back up as Sheila tried to run up still, slipping on flat spots with Mason to catch her. She kept trying until she found the right areas, eventually reaching the giant shell. The three operatives and Chelan followed the shallow river inside and discovered a golden fountain. There was a troll bathing in the light. (End song.)

"YoUr frienD has met with a terrible fate, hasn't he?" The troll turned, removing a familiar grinning mask. His own grin was charming and his shirt depicted a red smiley.

"Oh! A friend of thine?" Fybi asked Chelan.

"Of CoUrse… yoU Do not know my trUe form. My name is SanUla, anD yoU may remember me from Cheren's enCoUnter with Majora."

Mason gasped. "That mask! You're the Happy Mask Man! So, you were a troll all along?"

"Yes. I will spare yoU my history with Majora… for it seems yoUr fUtUre is very bleak."

"Wherefore dost thou speak of such?" asked Fybi.

"Cheren has awoke as LorD English's pawn, hasn't he? I knew for a long time this Day woUlD Come."

"What do you mean you knew?" asked Mason.

"I was tolD to hiDe here from The Thirteen. This planet woUlD be toxiC to their Dark natUres." Sanula reached in his pocket and presented a tiny vial with bubbling pinkish-red liquid and a skull cap.

"Oi, that bottle!" Sheila exclaimed. "It's the same one Cheren used with Viridi!"

"The Poison of the Gods…" Mason said softly. "Does that mean… we can really save Cheren if we give him this?"

"Cheren is still mortal, even with GoD Tier powers. However… yoU may still be able to save him."

"♪♪♪ ♪♪"

"Thou sayest Sheila and I must combine our chi after we drink from the fountain?" Fybi translated. "But what shalt this accomplish?"

"♪♪"

"Thou request only to trust you… Chelan, thou seemeth most suspicious as of late. Art thou not telling us something?"

". . ." Chelan covered her mouth with her sleeve.

"…Thou wishes not to tell me. Then I shalt not force the words out of thee." She faced the fountain. "Sheila, let us drink."

"YAHOOOO!" The excited raccoon dove into the fountain and let water pour in her mouth. "Thi' i' th' b't S'nn' D nnvrr! (This is the best Sunny D ever!)"

"Hm hm hm!" Fybi giggled and floated over. "I believeth I will bring some to Anthony."

Chelan smiled. She closed her eyes and began to pray.

Hivebent

Maddy visited the cafeteria and got a light-purple soda from the refrigerator. "O)(, you like Squid Soda too, )(u)(?" said Feferi, approaching Maddy with her own can.

"Uh… I guess so?" In truth, Maddy didn't know what it was. She tried it anyway, and the taste was funky.

"So, )(ow is C)(ris? Is )(e still snapping about like a piran)(a?"

Those are supposed to be 'H's, right? "Yes, he is. I let Melody look after him. Sigh, after all that's been happening, I dunno what to think, anymore. I have a headache."

"Yea)(, it's urchin my brain, too. I t)(oug)(t me and Vriska were best buds… We even knew each other before the Apocalypse )(it. )(er town )(ad a beach, so that's where we would sometimes meet."

"Then do you know anything about this Tavros she mentioned?"

"Yea)(, she used to tell me about someone like that. Said she bullied )(im a bunch, glub-glub!" she chuckled.

"AAAAAHHH!" Melody charged in, her chlorophyll-filled head on fire. "GIVE ME THAT, NOW!" She snatched Maddy's drink and doused herself. "Huff…huff… Why would I EVER genetically alter myself like this?! HUH, LORD ENGLISH?!"

"Maddy, what happened?!"

"Chris looked hungry, so I tried to feed him, but when I opened the jar, he jumped out and shot me with a laser!"

"And I wasn't FINISHED!"

"AAAAHH!" The tiny Chris bit Melody in the neck and lit her on fire again.

"CHRIS, STOP!" Maddy shouted.

"Tell that spacebender to restore me to full size or I'll destroy this plant brat from the inside out!"

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?!" yelled another squeaky voice.

"Who said that?!" Chris looked around. He gasped, spotting the tiny troll across the lunch room floor.

"You've been REALLY pissing me off, you AND that crappy brother of yours! Since I can't kick HIS ass, I'll settle for YOURS!"

Chris growled and jumped off Melody. "Fine! I can go for some CRAB!"

"Wow, this is… adorable?" Maddy said uncertainly.

"Karkat, what the crab are you thinking?!" Feferi questioned.

"GRAAAAAAH!" Chris charged with the full force of Fiery Fury.

"CHRIS!!" Maddy leapt forth to grab her friend before he did the worst.

"Shooooooooooo…" Karkat lightly tapped his finger on Chris's monstrous mouth.

"Growwwwlll…"

"Shooooooo…" Karkat continued, despite Chris's anger.

"What is he… doing?" asked Maddy.

"It's the shoosh pap." Feferi answered. "It's a trick Karkat learned from Tamatoa. Calmed )(im down when )(e was a pupa."

"Shooooooo…" Chris's fire slowly died down. A soothed look was on his face. Karkat hugged and patted his back. "It's okay…"

Maddy and Feferi knelt over them. "Awww… you really calmed him." Maddy smiled.

"You make a good papa, Karkat!" B8) Feferi grinned.

"SHUT UP."

Living room

"Sigh… eh…" Chris felt a pain in his head and the worst case of insomnia. When he came to, he was staring up at Maddy's worried eyes. "Maddy?" He looked around and realized he was in her hands. "Uh… why does this feel familiar?"

"It must be symbolism." She cracked a smile. "Do you remember anything you were just doing?"

"Uh… no… I just remember Malladus. He kept laughing and driving me crazy… But I guess I lost more than brain cells. What exactly happened to him? Grandfather?"

"I wouldn't know because he was gone after I got there. But something else happened you need to know about."

Maddy recapped Vriska's explanation. "Cheren was a Darkness… I can't believe it."

"Now we're trying to figure out a plan. Some are even thinking about killing Cheren."

"What?! They can't!"

"Well, most of us are against it! Still… we don't have too many other options. And we can't just sit around and wait for a miracle."

"GUESS who's back with the solution to ALL our problems!" announced Sheila Frantic upon return to Hivebent.

"Maddy, I think you forgot what happened at Enies Lobby." Chris smirked.

"Check it out, everyone!" Mason removed the poison from his pocket. "We met this troll on Planet Seemwy and he gave us this!"

"A Poison of the Gods?!" Death the Kid exclaimed, anger in his eyes. "How on earth would you have that?! That is a forbidden drug known only to the Royal Family!"

"YoU mUst UnDerstanD!" Sanula raised his hands in panic. "I meant no harm, honestly! I stole the poison 5,000 years ago, and only beCaUse someboDy askeD me to! They wanteD me to keep it all this time…"

"Just when I was wondering where you were in all this shit!" Karkat squeaked, riding Nepeta's head. "Where the fuck were you, Sanula?!"

Sanula perked up when he saw the little troll. "YoU're so CUte, I want to kiss yoU." 83

"I'LL KILL YOU!!" Karkat tried to scamper him, but Nepeta pinned him by the shirt, so he merely ran in place.

"Canst we discuss our confusions later?" Fybi asked. "The point being we may yet be able to rescue Cheren. Alas, it will be a difficult endeavor. We must first infiltrate the world Lord English hath constructed from Cheren's body."

"Very well, but I have every intention of questioning you when this is over." Kid pointed his scythe at Sanula threateningly. "In any case, now that this war is entering its final stages, I suppose I should provide some aid."

"I feel like sUCh a terrible person now." D,: Sanula wept. "Perhaps another gift will menD the woUnD. May this sUffiCe?" He showed them a Catch Card. Inside was a familiar priestess girl eating grapes.

"It's Index!" Apis exclaimed.

"I foUnD her on my travels! She was terribly hUngry, so I've been Using magiC to plaCe fooD into her CarD. What an aDorable little one!" Sanula brushed the card on his cheek.

"STOP IT, you're squishing the grapes!" shouted Index.

"This means we should have everyone that was turned into cards." April realized. "Everyone is safe now."

"Everyone Except Those In English's World." Kanaya reported. "There's A Portal On Alternia Close To Ganon's Castle. An Ugly One At That…" Indeed, the screen depicted an imperfect MS Paint circle. "It Probably Leads To Where Cheren Is. And Grandfather's Guarding It!" Indeed, the demonic shadow was looming over the portal.

Chris gasped. For a moment, his demonic instincts wanted to kick in, but he restrained himself. "Let's go!" Maddy said, hopping off the couch energetically. "Chris and I can handle Grandfather while you rescue Cheren!"

"What?" Chris was surprised. "You're really gonna let me fight Grandfather again after I went nuts?"

"Well, this time, I'll be fighting him with you! And I'll teach you how to do it right." She winked.

"…Hn hn!" Chris smirked and winked back.

Engy's World

"In today's orgy-filled episode, an evil guy by the name of Rotting Piss Teeth is trying to make kids eat piss and rot their teeth, but Blonde Bitch From Pokémon kisses Useless Green Sweater and destroys Rotting Piss Teeth with the powerful love!" The characters in question were Aurora, Francis, and Knightbrace. "'WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STORY,' everyone says! BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP IS THE HOTTEST THING! And everyone demands more, SO I GIVE 'EM SOME! Now Blue Bitch decides she likes Purple Prick (Wendy and Romeo), so she goes to him. Her friendship power is SO STRONG, she is BLUSHING, and Purple Prick decides, 'I gotta GET ME some of that!' So, they hold hands. AND EVERYONE WORSHIPS THEIR LOVE! BROOO HA HA HA!

"I cannot wait until the entire universe loves like these two!" proclaimed English as Bill walked into his casino. "Pretty soon, the entire universe will love my love, and they will want to bathe in it! Because what ignorant little piss would refuse love?! LOVE IS LIFE!!"

"Yes, My Lord, who indeed!" Bill chortled. He turned away, shuddering in horror.

Alternia

Grandfather sipped from a bowl of tapioca, wistfully guarding the portal to Engy's World. He examined the burning, demon-infested landscape under the red sky. Ganondorf controlled this whole planet, and before long Lord English would control the whole multiverse. "What am I even doing here? I thought I was the most powerful being in the world… but these monsters treat me like a mere guard dog! And that boy… hoo-oo-oo. I hope I never encounter that one aga-"

Faster than he could comprehend, two fists seemed to blast down from the heavens and PUNCH Grandfather simultaneously. He flew across the valley as Chris and Maddy landed on their feet. "Hurry, guys, go in!" Maddy shouted.

"Bring Cheren back to us!" followed Chris.

"No worries!" Zach yelled, running with super speed and pulling a train that carried Sheila and Fybi. "Round and round and round she goes!" He ran in a zigzag line, ramming countless demons and flinging them skyward. "Where it stops, whenever Maddy lets me copy off her homework! Next stop, Stupidville!" They vanished into the MS Portal.

Grandfather came flying back over in a rage. "YOU AGAIN! Still haven't had enough, have you?!"

"I might've lost my marbles the first time, but it won't be the same this time! Me and Maddy will defeat you together!"

"First of all, brat, it's 'Maddy and I'! Grammar! And second, you're off your noggin if you think I'll let you get the better of me! I'll burn you to a crisp and finally show these demons that I am their SUPERIOR!" (Play "Vs. Malladus Part 2" from Zelda: Spirit Tracks!)

Boss fight: Grandfather

Grandfather cast a wall of fire, dividing Chris from Maddy. Maddy leapt in with active Haki Fury, punching away Grandfather's flames, then dodging his heat vision. Grandfather shot up and grabbed Maddy's Haki fists, unable to spread his curse to her, and giving Chris the chance to fly up and kick him in the face. Chris formed flame swords and ran up to slash Grandfather, who would then fly away and burn twin beams of fire into the ground.

"CHRIS!" Maddy pulled her friend away before a greater beam sprouted up from below him.

"Thanks, Mad! How 'bout a little team-attack action?"

"You said it!" Chris leapt so Maddy could grab his ankle. The girl spun around on one foot, her Haki giving her super speed, and fire was added to the twister when Chris ignited his body. Grandfather flew skyward to be at a safe distance from them, but the demon was mistaken as Maddy HURDLED Chris like a rocket, RAMMING Grandfather headfirst! Chris grabbed the elder and kicked on rocket boots to shoot back to the ground, where Maddy waited to PUNCH him with a charged Haki fist. "AUGH, my back! Perhaps you need another demonstration of my evil powers! Such as my innate ability to make things float into the air!" Grandfather willed the debris around him to levitate and swirl above like a maelstrom. "Ooooo! Pretty spooky, right?"

"No, and the ghost sounds don't help." Chris said.

"He's gonna start throwing 'em! Chris, use Combustion Beam, I'll tell ya where to shoot." Chris readied his third eye and shot beams where Maddy directed, taking out large chunks of debris. Smaller rocks were thrown toward him, and since they were too small for Chris to hit, Maddy took the liberty of punching them away. "Watch out!" Grandfather swooped down in attempt to grab Chris, but Maddy clasped the demon's wrists and bashed him around the ground. She threw the dizzied Grandfather skyward while Chris leapt to kick him away.

Grandfather ceased the telekinesis and made fire swirl rapidly in his hands, changing them into flaming tornados. Chris ran and grabbed the stem of one of the twisters, swinging at Grandfather, who clasped the opposite end of it. The middle of the twister puffed like a balloon and POPPED, blowing both fighters back. Maddy used the chance to leap over and lay a beatdown on Grandfather. The demon slapped her off and fired a giant ball of flame into the sky. It exploded, raining fire down into tiny, but painful droplets. Thankfully, Chris could stay close to Maddy and throw up a shield of fire. "Not the worst attack in his arsenal!"

"So you think!" Grandfather smirked. In that instant, the little droplets grew arms and legs and leapt at the kids with bullet speed. Maddy rapidly swung her fists to punch some away while Chris absorbed them with his own fire. "You may be strong… but NO child can command the power of LIGHTNING!" Grandfather surged red lightning in his fingers and cast them at Chris. The boy held his fingers at the ready and caught the lightning, letting it flow through his body before striking him back. "AAAAAHHH!"

"Nice shot, Chris!"

Grandfather had fallen on the ground, panting and sparking. "You rotten kids…" He sat up, gripping his shoulder. "You've done nothing but humiliate me… Do you know what it's like to be a powerful demon elder and not earn a shred of respect from your peers? Those fools who call themselves The Thirteen… I will have their respect by the end of this, one way or ano-!"

Maddy leapt for a Haki kick from Grandfather's side, then Chris dealt a fire kick under his chin. Back and forth and back and forth they bonked him before one last upper-cut from Maddy sent him flying. "Let's finish this, partner."

"You got it, Mads." Both fighters hugged. Chris kicked on his rockets and blasted up to Grandfather, spinning as both their chis combined. Both raised a single fist, fire mixed with Haki, and locked with Grandfather's gut. They kept flying and flying, going beyond the atmosphere of the planet.

This…This can't be. I am Benedict Uno… the King of the World. Every human on the planet was my slave. Nothing could destroy me! Yet, these children… These children are unreal.

He remembered the one thousand tapioca factories he forged with his own powers, the legions of Senior Citizombified children that obeyed his every whim.

"Oh, you want to fight me, do ya?" Ganondorf told him with a vicious smirk, his Devil Sword drawn. "Well then… come at me!"

"I will only accept you as my servant." DIO told him with a cold stare. "Otherwise, you are not worth my time." He walked away.

"You're kind of tough, old guy!" Blackbeard said after beating him up. "Why don't you join my crew?"

"Those were my servants." Thanos said after Grandfather zombified a bunch of people. "You're a million years too early to challenge me." With a flick of the wrist, his zombies reverted to normal.

"Your powers do not affect me." Yellow Diamond stated. "Do not ever touch me again."

"Look, Gramps, I know you were the boss in your homeworld," Bill said, "but in this place, we're the law. So, get ahold of yourself."

I…I want to go home! I want my tapioca! My zombie army! I want to be the most powerful being in the world again! I can't stand this world, anymore! I can't stand these children! I can't stand these adults! I WANNA GO HOOOOME!

"Here They Come!" Kanaya exclaimed. "Quick, Open The Chamber! We Have Five Seconds!"

They rocketed straight into Hivebent's hangar, through the base, and then Chris stopped them just before they flew into the Penance Chamber. Grandfather was flung inside due to momentum, then Ford quickly slammed the chamber shut. The demon's shadowy essence disappeared, unveiling his feeble human form underneath. "Ahh, tapioca sauce." (End song.)

"Sigh… That was… surprisingly easy." Chris smiled.

"If only you asked me to help in the first place, we could've avoided your whole side-struggle." Maddy punched his shoulder.

"Well, I like to think I wore his health down a bit!" he shrugged.

"Excellent job, guys!" April praised. "It looks like this chamber really did cancel Grandfather's powers. I'm going to look for Sunni and Mary." She zapped a painting with her Keyblade and jumped into the Art World.

"We're not done yet, Chris." Maddy said. "We have to get back down and guard that portal. You know Ganon's gonna send minions to keep them from saving Cheren."

"I'm ready when you are!"

"Ain't I always!" The two raced to the exit.

Engy's World

The four Lights were royally baffled by the sight of this world. "Oi… this is…" Sheila said.

"Weird." Zach followed.

They had never seen their world stylized in such an atrocious manner. The people were nothing more than squares with line arms and legs. Their tops were colored to imply heads, but their expressions were… so dead and unlikable. The brown paint in the sky read Gayverse. "Pray… this is what Lord English doth have in store for our world." Fybi said.

"Blimey, I never not wanted to explore a new place more." Sheila shook her head.

"Would my new friends like to play?"

And there was the most terrifying sight on this planet: Lord English peering over them like a girl over a toy box, grinning so wide, his smile could suck out your soul. "Sister, you're back! I was wondering where you'd gone. Are you here to say you're sorry? Are you ready to be part of my world?"

"Who in blazes is he calling his sister?!" Sheila exclaimed.

"I believest he refers to our statuses as Lights. Mayhaps he sees us as Calliope and believes we think as she dost."

"I don't care what 'e thinks! Give us back Cheren, ya bloody codpiece! And turn our mates back to their normal selves!"

"Everyone is so happy here, Sister! You have to be crazy to hate this happiness! Please join me, Calliope. Any dumbass is smart enough to know nothing is more lovely than friendship!"

"Like any dumbass wants YOUR friendship!" Sheila spun a giant Light Fist and sent it hurdling into Lord English's skull. His head was forced back as teeth fell out.

"Sheila! Thou hast inflicted pain!"

A tear leaked from His Lordship's eye. "That really hurt me, Sis… How can you be so cru-… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" English just now realized a giant Dr. Mario was propping his mouth open.

"Dr. Mario lost his job for throwing medicine at patients!" Zach declared. "He's continuing work as a dentist, and boy is it not pleasant!"

"Super Mario Drill!" A team of mini Dr. Marios swirled down on dentist drills and burrowed into English's teeth.

"BYAAAAAHHH!" Red liquid came spewing out.

"Blimey, 'e's actually hurting him!" Sheila exclaimed. Some of the liquid rained on them. "Bleck! I hope I can wash this blood off."

Fybi wiped some of the liquid off and licked it off her finger. "This is not blood… 'tis cherry!"

"So, Lord English was hiding a cherry mine in his teeth?!" Zach questioned.

"Nay… I believest that beast is truly our fair leader! Zach, thou must keep his mouth agape! Sheila, hurry forth!"

"Gotcha!" Sheila and Fybi began their sprint, but Mason shot out of nowhere and kicked Sheila into a house. "What the heck, Mason?! Can't you see I'm tryin' ta save… 'old on." She just realized. "You were still in Hivebent when we left. YOU AREN'T MASON!"

Fybi shot the MS Paint Mason away. "Methinks neither of these art our friends! They couldst very well be impostors."

"But if they ain't them, then where ah they?!"

"I know not, but we must wait no longer!" Fybi soared up to Lord English's forced-open mouth. She grabbed the Poison of the Gods from her pocket and stuck it on her B.O.W., taking sharp aim directly down into the lord's throat. "Cheren! I pray for thine safety and thine return!" With bullet speed, the vial loosed, striking the base of English's throat.

"GROOOAAAAHH!" The giant Dr. Mario vanished and everybody cupped their ears. Once his scream had ended, Lord English was frozen, still agape.

"…Is he well?" Fybi asked.

"UUAAAAAHHHH!" His next scream shook the paintscape, and the very dimension began to crackle and break.

"Oi, this place is falling apart! Are ya sure that was a good idea?!"

"Sheila, I require thine assistance! Follow me into his bowels!"

"WUT?!"

"There is not much time! Hurry!" Fybi dove headfirst into English's throat.

"I wanted ta go in me mum's tummy first! Ugh!" Sheila dashed for the colossus, tail spinning, and took flight up to and into the demon's throat.

Subconscious

Cheren Uno awoke in a land of whiteness. "Ugh… where am I?" He couldn't remember what he was last doing. For the past few hours, all he's heard was Lord English's creepy voice giggling in his ear. In the distance, he could see some faint shadows. "Hey, who's there?" He sprinted after the shadows, which slowly began to make form. They were walking away from him, but he began to recognize their appearances. "Panini! Aurora!" (Play Ventus's Theme from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep!)

The two stopped. With smiles on their faces, they turned around. Suddenly, they were no longer Panini and Aurora… the former had become a brown-skinned woman with red hair, and Aurora changed into Princess Zelda.

"Link!" Zelda smiled.

"Link…" Urbosa said.

"Huh?" When Cheren studied his hands, they were different. He was clad in green, and his body was Link's. More people appeared around him. Melody Jackson changed into Ruto, Anthony turned into Darunia, Nagisa turned into Impa… "What is… going on?"

"Cheren! Cheren!" a faint voice called.

"Whuh? Who's talking to me?"

"Thou must awaken! Prithee, Cheren!"

"Who's… Awaken?"

Casino English

". . . aaaaa… … aaa… . . . aa . ." Blood leaked out of Lord English's mouth. He looked as though he choked on something awful and sat dead in his chair.

"My Lord!" Bill Cipher flew up, looking into his mouth. "My Lord, what's wrong?! Lord English!"

"Oh, dear…" Dimentio walked in with worry apparent on his features. "Perhaps he drunk a few too many yeers… hm hm hm."

"This isn't the time for games, My Lord! We're on the verge of victory! The Seven Lights are within our killing radius, so hurry up and kill them!"

Subconscious

"Link… it's me." Zelda's grin was beautiful. "You do remember me… don't you?"

"No." said Cheren. "I mean… I do. I remember all of you. But this isn't right… you aren't my friends. My friends are… somewhere else."

"You're wrong." Zelda shook her head. "We are your friends, Link. We've always been. Everyone is. Don't you remember?"

"Cheren, prithee! Thou must awaken! If thou dost not, we art all doomed! Prithee!"

"GET UP, ya lazy drongo! Yer more lazy than flippin' MASON!"

In the darkness of English's body, Cheren was floating in place, his color drained after the impact of the poison. Fybi and Sheila had him encased in a sphere of light and wind, using the power of their Keyblades.

"Oiiiii! Chereeeeeen!"

"That voice…" Cheren turned to the direction of that Australian accent. "Sheila?"

"HUAH!" A dark-skinned girl with blonde hair and a blue shirt punched him in the jaw.

"OW!"

"What's the matter with you, Link?!" Tetra shouted. "You're going to let yourself be controlled by that freak? Man up and fight back already!"

"She's right, Link!" Cheren looked up, seeing the familiar wings of Fybi flapping down. Doing a flip, Fybi's body morphed into a red-eyed bird girl, her talons landing on the ground. "Your journey can't end here." Medli said. "You promised you would revive Hyrule. You can't do that if the universe is destroyed!"

"I don't remember promising that!"

"Well, ya did." Tetra shrugged.

"Your friends are very loyal to you…" A deeper, unfamiliar voice spoke.

"What?" Cheren looked under his feet, where Link stood upside-down like a reflection. Link walked away and curved right-side-up.

"You and I both had lots of friends in our time. It was our greatest quality. That's why Lord English planned to use it against you. Our greatest strength is also our weakness."

"So, what? Am I supposed to abandon my friends to save them?"

"Don't even THINK ABOUT IT!" Tetra started punching Cheren repeatedly, earning disbelieved stares from those around. "A crew always sticks with its captain, and a captain never abandons his crew! Snap out of it, ya bloody drongo!"

"Chill out, Sheila—I mean… Tetra! Augh, whoever you are!" Cheren shook her off. "BLECH!" He hacked blood and clenched his stomach. "URGH! I feel like I swallowed something terrible!! GLUHG! God, it tastes so awful! What the hell is it?!"

"We will—" Medli briefly glitched into Fybi, "—shalt not let thou—you die!" She glitched back.

"…aa . . . . aaa . . ."

"Please, My Lord, don't let them get the better of you!" Bill pled, crying tears. "Remember who you are! You're Lord English, the Rewriter of the Universe! You can't let some silly poison kill you! PLEASE, SNAP OUT OF IT!!"

"…Ca…Cal . . . li…o…"

"GLECK!" More vomit mixed with blood. Cheren sunk to his knees. As his body continued to breathe Fybi's Winds of Truth, he begun to understand. For three years, ever since becoming a god… he felt so happy. He never adored his friends more, even despite how much they shunned him for what he became. Yet, these feelings were not earnest… they were Lord English, slowly tapping into his soul. And now that the poison was eating away at him, these feelings were dissipating. "My friends… I failed you. I couldn't save our worlds… I put you all in danger. Please… just kill me…"

"No—Nay!" Medli glitched into Fybi. "Cheren, I know not the pain thou art feeling at this very moment. It must be greater than any could dare to imagine. But we need thee to return to us. Because only thou canst keep our organization whole. I will not deny thou hast made bad decisions in thine past… but thou hast created a KND we all can enjoy. Thou hast considered the concerns and well-being of all children. Even thine decision to become a god was done for our sake. But if this pain is what results, then prithee, banish all the power from thy veins!"

"GLEEEEHHH!"

"Blimey, this place is fallin' apart!" Sheila exclaimed as more dimensional rifts ripped the realm.

"We canst not leave now! We art so close!"

"Sounds like YOU ladies need a boost!" In came Zach on his Gravy Train, ramming all three as they were flung onto a car.

"Exercise caution, Zach!" Fybi stated. "Oh? Thou hast brought them?!" Fybi noticed the MS Paint characters piled dead in a back wagon of the train.

"Those are our friends, right?"

"OF COURSE NOT, you bloke!" Sheila yelled.

"Well, I couldn't find them anywhere else! Besides, I'm sure a few extra years of school will set 'em back on track."

"Like school ever helps!"

"Now is not the time! Sheila, hurry!" Fybi shouted.

"Ca…Ca…"

"…-orn…Caliborn… you never understood the concept of friendship… even though that was all you wanted."

"Cal…li…"

"And because of me… your heart was torn. It has become harder for you to understand."

"We're almost there!" Zach announced, seconds away from speeding through the portal.

"Pray, Cheren! Thou must awaken!" pled Fybi. "Thou must awaken so we may build the New World, and continue our adventures with our friends! Thou must see this beautiful New World with us!"

"Caliborn… I will see you again. And when I do, Brother… there is something I wish to tell you." (End song.)

"Cal…li…Cal…li…" Lord English smashed his head onto his drawing. "CALLIOOOOOOPE!!!"

Bill and Dimentio flew backward as the entire casino began to shake. "CALLIOOOPE!" Parts of the universe turned upside-down and inside out.

"MY LORD! NO!" Bill cried. "You mustn't shout her name like that! You mustn't think of her!! This is the very reason we cut her out of your heart!!"

"It's now or never, guys!" Zach declared as the dimension threatened to explode. "Heeeeere weeeee GOOOOOOOOO!"

And the second they passed the portal into Alternia, the second it EXPLODED, transforming a massive chunk of the castle grounds into a crater. The train fell to pieces, dropping everyone around the ground. The MS Paint characters morphed back into their true selves, while the ones who had not come on the rescue party (like Melody or Mason) simply melted, as they were naught but illusions.

"Phew!" Zach sighed. "I think the biggest lesson here is, no matter how good an artist you are, MS Paint is a terrible software!"

"W-What's going on?" Anthony spoke first as everyone awoke.

"Anthony, look! Cheren!" Diancie pointed.

Their leader had been dropped on the ground, foam spewing from his mouth. "OI, WE GOT COMPANY!" cried Sheila.

"Hahahahahahahaaaaa!" Joker's psychotic cackle rang as the Backup Army, Nerdvana marched to their location. "Looks like their plan failed! I guess we'll all have to finish the job, boys!"

"AHEM!"

"And girls, sheesh! (There's a lot more gender diversity in this universe.)"

"They never give us a break…" Dillon sighed.

"Let's get this over with, then." Midna replied.

"SUNNI!" they gasped when Sunni, Mary, and April appeared via the former's psychic. "You're back to normal!" MaKayla exclaimed.

"I sure am! Let's get us outta here!" Sunni expanded a massive sphere of psychic around her friends.

"When Lord English was reborn… he stole the piece of me that was in my host vessel, Jagar King."

"Do you guys hear something?" April asked as they were flying through the teleporting dimension.

"He kept that piece close to his heart… but by Bill's suggestion, he cut that piece out and had it placed inside you, Cheren."

"Hey, they're about to come back!" Maddy exclaimed when a bright ball of light appeared in Hivebent.

Chelan smiled and folded hands in prayer, feeling a pure and powerful essence.

"Lord English's will was stronger, and it matured as your God Tier…" In a sea of tiny green fish, one of these fish bore shiny green eyes, fixated on the light at the surface. "But now that those powers have been extinguished… I can finally regain form."

The group of operatives poofed into Hivebent in a flash! "BLUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEHHH!" Cheren never needed to vomit in his entire life more than he did right now. A real stream of saliva, along with one massive glob of something. "Ow… my tummy…" Cheren rubbed his aching belly. "Huh?"

Everyone stared at the mass he had spewed. Green eyes opened up and two arms stretched out. "WWWWWUUUUUUHHHG!" She threw herself up into the air and shook off the saliva: a green child with the head of a skull, a green tuxedo with a red bowtie, swirly cheeks, and a shackle on her right leg. "I didn't think I woUld EVER get oUt of there!" ^u^

A Cherub and Writer of the Twenty Keys Prophecy

CALLIOPE

"…?" She looked around. Everyone had pale faces and detached jaws. Why, they were staring at a younger, female version of Lord English. "Oh, right. YoU probably want an explanation, hUh?" :U

"It's a8out damn time." Vriska shook her head.