Chapter 14 Cleaning House

Nate had let me know when he had class so I could help myself into his dorm and collect my things that were left there. We both knew it was best if I gathered my things while he was out because we didn't need the unnecessary awkwardness of having to be stuck with each other for no important reason.

It had been a few days since the breakup and I was starting to feel a little better, keeping myself busy with assignments and studying for exams. The last thing I needed was to dwell on all the memories and moments we shared.

It may have gone downhill towards the end, but the rest of the three years we spent together were too good for me to move on so quickly without being affected whatsoever.

I knew Nate and I were no longer working so part of me felt relieved. It was a flame that had died out a long time ago. It was rational for us to break up. We probably should have sooner.

However, there was still a big part of me that had to get used to this change.

Spending three years with someone, loving them and caring for them and getting so attached to them wasn't so easy to forget about and throw away. At least it wasn't easy for me.

I was packing up all the things in his room when the door opened.

My heart nearly leaped out of my chest because I was not ready to face Nate right now, but relief washed over me when it was Wes who walked in.

He paused when he noticed me sitting on the ground. He wasn't expecting to see me.

His eyebrows pulled together but his features seemed to soften when he took a look at me. "Hey little one. What are you doing here?"

I shrugged, not wanting to answer his questions because this was difficult enough already. I tried to push away my dull mood, not wanting to kill any vibes. "Chilling. Did you just finish class or come back from a date?"

Wes laughed as he placed his bag down, "Class. You do know I have much more to do than just go on random dates, right?"

I shrugged, offering a small grin. "Right, like what?"

Wes narrowed his eyes at me in a challenging manner. "Like... going to the gym."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're leading an eventful life, Weston Hamilton."

Wes rolled his eyes playfully. "Whatever. What..." he took more notice to what I was doing now. "What are you doing, Fia? What's going on?"

I looked at him dully, raising my eyebrows as if it weren't obvious enough. "Taking my things, Wes."

Wes tilted his head as he looked down at me, his eyebrows furrowing together as he started to connect the dots. "Are you cleaning house or..."

I rolled my eyes, not amused. "We broke up, Wes."

Wes paused, not knowing how to react to the news. I don't think he was exactly expecting it either.

Instead of saying anything, he sat down on the ground and silently helped me put my things in a box. We packed in silence for a few minutes before Wes finally decided to break the silence and say something.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course," I chipped. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Wes frowned, not buying my words. "It's a big breakup, Fia."

I shrugged nonchalantly, keeping my gaze fixated on my belongings in front of me. "And I'm okay. I'm relived. We all knew it wasn't working out so it's like a weight that's lifted off my chest, Wes. Why are you acting so surprised? This was expected. We all saw it coming. I'm okay."

Wes quirked his eyebrows, pure disbelief all over his face. "Then why are you crying?"

I blinked.

I had truly not noticed the tears that were streaming down my now dampened cheeks.

I clenched my jaw, shutting my eyes tightly to fight back the tears because I did not want to waste my time crying over some stupid breakup that was bound to happen sooner or later. It didn't help that Wes was witnessing my pathetic, embarrassing and absurd breakdown.

My eyes were still shut when Wes moved the box out of the way and wrapped his strong arms around me.

It took me a second until I relaxed in his embrace, letting myself cry in his arms because I needed this right now.

He held me tight, not letting me go for a second as he let me cry out all my bottled up emotions. His arms around me made me feel protected and like everything would be okay. He made me feel whole again, as sappy and stupid as that sounds.

It felt nice to be held and comforted by someone. I was expecting Nate to be there for me for so long when he wasn't. I didn't accept that I didn't need Nate but now, I was starting to see it and simply because I had Wes by my side.

After calming down and controlling my tears, I finally pulled away from Wes.

I rubbed the tears off my cheeks and sniffled deeply.

"Sorry," I choked out, my voice sounding weak and raspy. I let out a forced laugh. "Wow, I look so crazy right now."

Wes firmly shook his head, giving me a stern look. His gaze on me was held strongly, his eyes warm and filled with care. "No you do not. It's okay to be hurt, Fia. You don't have to act so strong and okay all the time. You can talk about this if you want to."

I inhaled deeply but shook my head. "Really, I don't need to. I'm fine, Wes."

Wes gave me a dull look, "You don't look very fine to me."

I sighed, leaning my head back and looking at the ceiling as I tried to gather my thoughts but right now they were all over the place.

"I just..." I looked at Wes again and shrugged weakly, having no idea what I was feeling right now because it was just a whole storm of emotions. "Part me really is relieved. Nate and I were a flame that burnt out a while ago, I just didn't accept it and face it but now I really am ready to move on."

"And what about the other part of you?" Nothing got past Wes.

Wes's tone was filled with concern and genuine curiosity. When he talked to me and asked me questions, I could tell he really did care which made my heart swell up.

I sucked in my bottom lip, still trying to gather all my feelings. "It's just that three years is a long time to let go of and forget."

Wes reached a hand out and tucked some hair behind my ear.

My stomach was doing flips and that was not good at all.

He let his hand linger on the side of my face, brushing some of my tears away with his thumb in the most gentle way possible.

God, my organs feel like they spinning from his touch.

This is what I mean. My emotions were literally all over the place so how was I supposed to make sense of anything?

"It'll take some time," his voice was so gentle and calming. It truly made me believe that everything would be okay. "But you're strong and you'll move on."

I frowned a little. "I tried for so long, like an idiot. I'm an idiot."

Wes's eyes flashed with sadness as he peered at me with pure sympathy. "No," he shook his head firmly. "Don't say that. You're not an idiot, Fia. He's the idiot because... he lost you. Anyone who wouldn't want you is an absolute fuckhead. I actually cannot fathom it."

I smiled softly, my face flushing and heart fluttering. "Thank you, Wes," I exhaled. "I really needed this."

I wished I had a better way of showing my gratitude to him. I really felt like I would be lost without him.

Wes smiled, in a way that made my whole body feel like it was being warmed. "You know I'm always here for you, Fia. Anytime, anywhere."

I punched his arm lightly, wanting to quickly get away from the close proximity and deep emotional feelings. "Shut up and help me pack this up now."

Wes laughed, "Aye, aye captain."

And just like that, I was already feeling whole again.