I had crushes earlier, But I couldn't call this love until finally, I met this boy. Specifically speaking, I have never met that guy in person and still fell for him. Our talks started with his worried mind. He was stressed at that time because of his study, and one of his friends, who was also my friend, told him to chat with me. We texted each other for 2 to 3 days. I didn't even know his name at that time. When we were texting,
I told him, 'Well, I don't know your name.'
'OHH FUCK', He said & then he told me his name. I know that's amusing. I was excited because of him. Like he was way too humorous and worried at the same time. As I were his senior, we made it like I was the elder sister and he was the younger brother. Even though we were opposite, he was one year older than me. But we got a close bond in indeed less time. It felt like we were best friends, but we only just met, which is also online. We talked till late, all the time. But we were not that mature back, so we didn't know much about what we were doing. We both only loved enjoying time with each other. It was like we both were trying to escape reality.
I even remember the first time we texted for the first time. So weird to say, but I messed up my sleep routine when we talked the first because, at that time, he was so stressed. So I felt I should give him preference rather than my sleep. My sleep schedule got messed up the day I started talking with him. Today I am again here writing about him. It's been 325 days since I met him. 3rd Feb of 2022 was amazing but worst too. And now it's been 92 days since we didn't talk. We didn't text because he broke the friendship. You may wonder what has occurred these days but don't worry. So, here we go-
Being a true introvert in real life, I was an ambivert in the online world. I started using Discord because of my studies, as I mostly stayed at home and didn't have many friends. I used to study with some online people I met on a study server. The good thing was that My focus was enhanced very nicely, and it was easy to convey through chats. A guy from the same study server sent me a friend request. You may be thinking about who sent the friend request. How about you guess who is it? Yes, you are right. It's the same person you all are thinking about. Let's call him Tani. So coming to the day I first talked with him at 9 pm on 3rd Feb 2022, my life changed after that day. I found my best friend with whom I talk about anything, with whom I was relaxed more than anyone, the guy who became my everything afterwards and yeah, my first love also. He was the most precious guy in my life. He still is the most beloved guy. No matter how hard I try to hate him, yes there are millions of reasons to hate him but still, I can't hate that guy because my love for him is way too much that the hatred gets easily lost somewhere. Well, it's not like I adore him all the time, there are also times that the hatred just goes up to the top and I cry like why he has to go from my life like that. I ask questions myself - Was I never a bit important to him that he effortlessly went away? Was it the worst to be my friend? Like this, I cry and think about every stuff. Then I felt a bit bad for myself and thought that I don't deserve this. Trying to get me back together but again I am here missing that guy, missing all those times when we talked, and we listened to music together, all those silent moments when we studied together. I remember when we laughed and cried, and all those pretty moments when we both fought one day and talked like hell the next day. I remember everything, maybe I am way too sure that no matter who comes into my life, no matter how my life ends maybe he always gonna be the most favoured chapter of my life.