Chapter Sixteen

After my day-out with Sebastian, I returned to my room to do some more digging. Now that I knew exactly what had happened to me, I could narrow my search a little more than last time, and get better results. As expected, the moment I had entered in 'car accidents', and the week dating back to the night I was kidnapped, an article popped up as the top search result, and something told me it was about that night.

It didn't take me long into the article, to realize it was about my accident, and it held the name of the man my father had spoken about.

Lucien Bradford.

The article told me something my father hadn't, which was that the following morning, the area was searched and a house was found buried deep in the woods that I had been found by. They supposedly raided the place, and there was Lucien Bradford alone, ready to surrender. I hadn't believed my eyes, and I had to read over the paragraph a few more times.

Did my father even know about this? I thought it would have been a positive bit of information to share. The man who kidnapped me, and was basically the reason I was involved in any accident, was back behind bars.

I remembered the way he had spoken of Lucien, his former partner, and the guilt that was laced in his words, as he had spoken of how he betrayed him, because of his own guilt. I wondered, if my father still carried that guilt, even after what he had did to me. It might have even added to his guilt.

His daughter was put in danger, because of the selfish decisions he made when he was young. I felt a lump form in my throat. I could only imagine the amount of blame he was putting on himself.

I continued searching, to see if there were any other names that had been mentioned, but there was nothing. Not a single article or website said anything about there being another person when I was discovered, nothing even about anyone who had called in the accident. I didn't think my father had made that part up, and someone must have discovered me. I doubted it was the person who ran me over.

Eventually, I had slammed my computer shut and walked away from the desk frustrated, with more questions than before. I started to wonder if my father was right, and the only choice I had now, was to try and move forward with my life, and just hope that my memories would return.

I had gone back to my computer, but this time searched up schools in the area that I could attend. Sebastian had said that I once liked to draw and write, so I went through my computer for any written stories or downloaded art. I was satisfied to find that I had a few documents with obvious book titles, but no art work. I checked the drawers next to me, and found a whole stack of comic books that I had overlooked before.

My hands dug through them, and before I knew it, I found myself on my bed, completely indulged in the comic book of Venom. As my eyes scanned the pages, I started to remember a bit of the stories, and continued to go through the books. I felt like I had been onto something, it was the closest I had come to remembering anything, since I had spoken with my father. This time, however, it was about who I was before the accident, before anything bad had ever happened to me. That was what I truly wanted to remember.

A few hours went by, and I had only received snippets of memories, but it was nothing more than the story on the pages in front of me. I tossed the books aside, feeling frustrated and defeated again. I had spent a whole day, basically doing nothing, with no outcome. The only accomplishment I had made, was finding out how I had become this way, but that didn't help me find out who I was.

Even though I had concluded, that Lucien Bradford wasn't a horrible guy, I was starting to hate him more and more, for what he did to me. If it hadn't been for him, I would have never been in the middle of the road, trying to escape my hostage situation. A part of me was glad I didn't remember what had happened, I didn't want to know if anything horrendous had occurred.

I went back to my computer, and printed off a few of the stories I had. I checked the clock, and realized how late it was, the stories would have to wait till the morning. I felt strange when I had prepared for bed, even using my own personal bath felt weird. I had felt like I was staying at a friend's place, and they were stupid rich. None of it felt like it was mine.

Despite how I had felt, I tried to get comfortable under the covers and forced my eyes closed. Tomorrow was going to be another day to find out who I was, once and for all. Whether I had to force the memories back, or try out everything I could to get them back. I knew I could at least count on Sebastian to help me out, and show me around the city.

I tried to quiet my mind, and let myself drift off into sleep, but something itched at the back of my mind. I opened my eyes and tossed around for a bit, before I was finally tired enough to just pass out. The instant my eyes had shut, and my mind quieted, something flashed before my eyelids.

A pair of bright, striking blue eyes.

***

"So, your father thinks you're ready to go back to school already?" Sebastian asked me. He and I were headed into the outside market downtown, a place that was supposedly the only food market that sold the eggplant his mother liked.

"He said the decision is entirely up to me, but he thinks it will help me figure out a bit more about myself."

"How are you supposed to pick a major in school, if you're still trying to figure that out? I get that your parents are wealthy, but how much money does your father really have?"

I frowned at his comment. I was a little uncomfortable when it came to my family, and the past I didn't remember. Sebastian immediately noticed my discomfort, and clamped his mouth shut.

"I'm sorry, that was rude, I shouldn't have said that."

I smiled gently at him. "It's okay, I do keep in mind that I'm not the only one adjusting to such a big change. My accident has affected a lot of people in my life, and even though I don't remember enough about them to logically care, a part of me still does."

"Am I included in that group of people?" he asked timidly. I had to take a second to think about what he asked, and what he had meant by it.

"Well, in a way, yes."

"What does that mean? Do you remember something about me?"

Like my father, he had a hopeful tone in his voice, and his eyes looked eager. My heart sunk a little, already knowing that I was going to disappoint him.

"No, but, I do feel more comfortable around you then anyone else, even my parents."

I let out a small breath when he smiled gently at me, and wasn't upset when I had said no to remembering anything about him; my best friend.

"I can understand where your father is coming from, and if you are really interested in going to school, I might have a suggestion."

"Oh, really? I'm listening," I said.

"I highly doubt your father would really agree to this, but given your current circumstance, there's a chance you can convince him. There is a community college in San Francisco, and it offers a lot of one-year programs with reasonable tuition prices. I know for a fact they have a writing course for a year, and an art program."

His suggestion had peeked my interest. It was almost a win-win situation for my father and I; I satisfied him by going to school and socializing again, and I didn't feel pressured to drop out of a large program, and waste thousands of dollars.

"Why do you think my father might not like that idea?" I asked.

Sebastian frowned and took a deep breath. "The morning, an hour or two before you were…" he trailed off and gestured to me with his hands. I knew exactly what he meant and nodded for him to continue. "We had been talking about this convention we wanted to go to in San Francisco, that following weekend. I had pressure you to ask your father if you could take one of his cars so we could drive down and go, but he said no. Before the accident, your father never let you do what you want, from what I had seen, and what you had told me."

I had got the impression that my father and I didn't have the greatest relationship before I lost my memory, by the way he had walked about it briefly, and broken down along with me afterwards.

"What if you went with me?" The idea flew out of my mouth. Sebastian blinked a couple times, before he shook his head.

"I don't think I could afford to go to college," he said nervously and scratched the back of his head.

"Well, is there anything you want to pursue?" I asked. This was a small opportunity to get to know him a little.

Sebastian's eyes had wandered over to a small produce cart carrying baskets of corn and carrots. He seemed lost in thought for a few minutes, so I also let my eyes wander around the outside market. I was relieved to feel a warm, exciting vibe come from the people and shopkeepers around me. Everyone seemed to be in a buzz, but still had the time and patience to walk around the market slowly, and admire the array of beautiful produce and baked goods.

"I always wanted to be an engineer, like my father. He had tried to start his own business, but people weren't too kind to him, because he didn't have any credit to his name or skills. It's a hard life, and it was hard to see his dreams fail over again, so I never really tried to pursue anything. But, I can't deny that I was always interested in his work and skill. If I had to choose anything, it would probably be that."

"That's amazing! Do they offer a course at the college?"

His eyes shifted away from me again, but this time he looked a little tense. It was obvious he was hiding something.

"There is, isn't there?" I asked, and I couldn't keep the excitement from my voice. "If there is a course available for engineering, you need to take it. I will do everything I can to convince my father to support you, I promise."

Sebastian gave me a funny look. "Why would you want to do that? You still barely remember me."

"You're the only person that has felt familiar to me in the slightest way, since I woke up and couldn't even remember my own name. It was horrifying, and I could barely process the guilt I had felt when I had to tell my own mother that I didn't know who she was, and mean it. When you arrived, though I didn't know who you were either, I felt comfortable for the first time, and it made some of the panic and loneliness go away."

After I had admitted all that to him, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest, and my head was suddenly lighter as well.

Sebastian looked a little stunned at first, but his eyes softened and he smiled warmly at me. Before I knew it, I was in his arms, as he hugged me tightly.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me hearing that," he whispered and buried his face in my hair. I felt a weird sensation, but I wasn't sure if it was friendly, or romantic. I also wasn't sure what his intentions were either. Despite the experience I might have had, I now had no idea how to tell the difference off just a feeling.

He pulled away after a few seconds and took a deep breath. "Alright, if you really think you can convince your father to even hear this idea out, then I'm in."

I jumped slightly out of joy, and grinned up at him. That put us in a better mood, and we continued through the market to get the small list of ingredients his mother had given us.

After I helped him drop off the food, his mother prepared us a delicious, traditional Indian cuisine, with tons of steaming vegetables and little baked goodies. Though I had no idea what anything was in front of me, or how large my appetite was, I took a small amount of everything on the table. Sebastian's mother beamed at me, and I offered her a small grateful smile back.

"It's so good to see the two of you together again, it has been so long since the last time I ever saw you two apart for longer than a day," his mother said.

Sebastian shot her a glare. "Mother, please," he grumbled. She just waved a hand at him.

"It's true, you two have been friends since we moved into the neighbourhood, almost 10 years ago now." That was a bit of information that blew my mind a little.

Sebastian and I have been friends for almost 10 years?

I had felt awful just thinking that. I had forgotten a 10-year friendship.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt sick to my stomach.

"I'm sorry, excuse me," I muttered, and rushed off to the bathroom. Thankfully, I spotted it the instant I turned out of the dining room into the hallway. I sat in silence for a few minutes, before someone knocked on the door.

"Ava?" Sebastian called through the other side. I took a deep breath and looked myself over once in the mirror, then opened the door. He stood there with a frown and a guilty look on his sad face.

"I'm sorry, my mother didn't mean to upset you, sometimes she doesn't think before she speaks and just says whatever is on her mind." Although he blamed his mother, I could see how much he was blaming himself as well.

"Please, tell your mother it's fine. I understand that not everyone has encountered someone with total amnesia, and it isn't something easy to adjust too." I tried to reassure him, but I could still see the guilty look in his eyes. "Do you mind if you take me home now?" I asked. I glanced out the hallway window, and saw that the sun had almost set. I was surprised Sebastian's mother hadn't received a phone call from my parents to check-in.

They had called Sebastian's phone twice while we had been shopping, since I still didn't have my own phone, and once when we had arrived back at his place. I couldn't exactly blame them.

Sebastian nodded and he led me into the kitchen, where his mother was putting away the dishes and leftover food. I felt bad that I hadn't even tried the food he had prepared, even though it had looked delicious. She turned when we entered, and had rushed up to me the moment she saw me.

"Ava, dear, I am so sorry, I was so inconsiderate earlier. Please, forgive me."

"It's okay, Ms. Khatri, no harm done. I'm still learning everything, it's hard for me to process things sometimes."

She grasped my hands and smiled at me.

"Oh! I almost forgot," she exclaimed suddenly and turned back to the counter. She turned back with two Tupperware containers, the inside covered in condensation so you couldn't see the contents. "You never got to eat your meal, and everything was starting to get cold, so I heated it up a little bit and packed it for you. It's getting late, your parents are probably worried."

I thanked her as Sebastian had went to fetch a small bag for me to carry it in. I gave her a hug and bid her farewell, before we had met Alex outside. I was surprised he had spent the entire time, standing outside the door. He was still in the same position he was in when we had entered the house, and that was at least two hours ago.

"Thank you for dinner, I'll make sure to try it when I get home," I joked with Sebastian. He let out a low laugh, but it was tense.

"I'm really sorry again, about what happened."

"I already forgave you, you can stop apologizing."

He let out a deep breath. "I know, it doesn't stop me from feeling bad. I just wish there was more I could do." I hated how defeated he sounded. None of this was his fault, if anything, I had imagined and believed that he might have tried to stop my kidnappers when I was first taken. I hadn't even considered that maybe he blamed himself for that, and wasn't only feeling bad for what his mother had said.

"None of this has happened because of you," I said sternly. "You are trying everything you can to help me, and have been by my side since the moment you found out I woke up. That is more than I could ask for."

I reached out and grabbed his hand to give it a light squeeze. It looked like he had wanted to say something, but he was cut off by the ringing of his phone. He dug around in his pocket and pulled it out, before he showed me the caller I.D.

It was my parents.

"I guess that's my cue to leave. Thanks again for today, I had fun." I gave him a quick hug, before I waved good-bye and slid into the bulky SUV. Sebastian stayed in the driveway, until the car had pulled away completely, his hands in his pockets, and his head hung low.

My heart ached and mind felt conflicted. What had he wanted to tell me?

I tried to push everything to the back of my mind, and rested my head on the seat. I caught Alex's eye in the rear-view mirror, and I swore, he almost looked sympathetic. It had taken me by surprise, since I hadn't seen him without his James bond sunglasses. He always looked so emotionless.

"Back home, Miss White?" he asked quietly. I barely looked away from the window.

"I don't know where home is."