Chapter 11

I woke up to chika licking my face. Then she started to wine and poke my boob with her nose.

"aw, whats wrong? dose someone have to go pee?" she stopped and tilted her head at me "do you have to go out? want to go out?" she jumped off of me and started to run around and went to the sliding doors to the back yard. I opened the door and she ran around for a little then she did her business, then she started to run around and play with toys that were here and there. It was really hot out here but i dont want to leave her out here. Sean told me to bring my swim suite, so might as well go for a swim. I walked back in and got a bowl of water for chika before i got changed and i set it out for her. I walked back to change and i found myself to start to think about Sean. Did he really mean what he said? Would he make me leave? I dont have anyone else but him. And thats fine but he cant tell me to leave him forever. I need to be something to him, i NEED to be something to him. Why cant he see me as anything else? I found myself at the bathroom sink and i looked up at the mirror. My eyes were red but no tears, i guess i had none left. My makeup still on perfectly and i let out a sad chuckle. "thats why, im hideous. He is perfection and i am nothing. we know each other better then anyone else, and i know im not good enough, but i can still want i can still crave" i started to get angry with myself " fucking ugly, fucking gorse, fucking nothing, thats what you are y/n fucking nothing" i yelled at myself in the mirror, and as i did so i started to scrap the makeup off my face. After a little i started to calm down a bit and i went out to the pool and hoped in it to cool off, then soon enough chika jumped in and out every now and then. I started to float on my back in the water, i lay or float like that for a long time just relaxing well as much as i could given the day i had. SPLASH. i thought it was chika jumping in again so i didnt move. I soon felt arms wrap around underneath me and pull me to a mans chest. I opened my eyes and saw a very worried, very tired Sean looking down at me with red puffy eyes. He pulled my closer to him and i could feel him crying, i never saw him cry before.

"p-please d-dont l-leave m-me l-like t-that-t" he then started to cough "you m-mean so m-much t-to m-me" i looked at his body, he had on his clothing that he put on for Pax " i n-need y-you y/n" i stood up to look him in the eyes and i put my hand on his check.

"please dont ever say something like that, even if its a joke, your all i have and i would be lost without my Sean" i smiled at him and i could feel the tears form "your my everything"

"im s-sorry i g-got so mad-d at you you can be with whoever you want ev-" he stopped and swallowed "even if its n-not w-who i w-want i-it t-to b-be" he looked down and looked so sad. I started to wipe his tears even though we were both wet in a pool.

"h-how do you know if you wouldn't like who i want so bad" i then started to rub my thumb over his lips looking at them as well. And he closed his eyes and looked so happy.

"if it was one person, just that one person, i would be the happiest man to ever live" he then sighed "but i know its not that person" he looked sad again and started to take my hand away but i grabbed his arm and pulled him close to me. Holey fuck im about to do this. I pulled his arm slowly away from my hand and i then brought both hands to his face taceing his face with my figurines and he smiled looking deep into my eyes. I started to bring my face closer to his.

"I love you, more then you would ever know, more then a friend, more then anything, i love you Sean" then i pressed my lips to his. He didn't move, i thought he didn't want this and i started to pull away but he quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him and started to kiss me ever so passionately. He then bit my bottom lip and pulled down on it a little asking for entrance. Our tongues started to fight and dance with each other and i started to melt in his arms, getting weak in my body from finally getting what i yearned for and i could feel him smile against my lips. After what felt like forever we pulled apart. Sean smiled and looked down.

"please dont tell me you did that to make me happy since its what i always wanted" He looked back into my eyes. His eyes, his blue beautiful eyes looked hopefully.

"you are what i always wanted, now let me kiss you again, i waited to long to only do this for so short" and i pulled him into another kiss. This one more lust fulled and intense. I could feel his hands rub all over my body and i started to do the same to him.

"this makes you my girl now"

"thats all i ever wanted"