15 : The Devil In ME
J.H.K Building,
Fate's POV,
Costume Room,
"Fate it's fine you don't have to bring all of them alone "
"It's okay Jessie I'm already free and wanted to help you," I said holding the extra the carton
"how would I live without you Miss Fate Adierson you are my savior" she chuckled nudging my shoulders playfully
I spurred "yup I know I'm really good "
"Yes you are "
"Yo! did you guys get all the boxes ?" Jerry asked carrying some files
"Yes Jerry, did you get the papers "?
"Yes "
"Well everyone thanks for the help guys hopes you enjoy your weekend, " Jessie said merrily twirling her gaze at the employers and us
"Hope you too Jessie," all of us said in unison
It's been two weeks since I talk to Miss Kim after our last conversation Mina didn't call probably busy with their tour
Tomorrow is the day when all the idols will be back and Amy too.
As they will be back tomorrow for us we are also busy with the upcoming trip where all the idols and us can go on a vacation
And about Jessie, I must say she is a good supervisor as all the artists and trannie are here. She manages to keep them in a line and we are helping her on the trip. All the cafeteria workers attended to her orders her friendly gesture makes us become a follower.
The first week passed fast and slowly
fast because I was busy with work
and
slow cause I can't stop thinking about her
Is not bad to care about her afterall.
At the cafeteria,
"Hey, Fate so you're going to Miss Kim's house today "?
"Yes, tomorrow she will be back so yup I'm going back today. "
" That's good but remember I know I told thousand times now but still if your nightmares get worse just came back home okay " Jerry stated taking a sip from her tea
"I know Jerry " I gave her a smile
"Hey, you guys wanna go to the club "? Carol asks fluttering her hands
club, no way I have had bad experiences with it
"No Carol I can't I have some work "
"Oh and Jerry what about you? You wanna go ?" She implores peering at Jerry and giving her a pleading look
I don't think she will come her girlfriend is coming home tomorrow she will be busy with her, and she doesn't want to have a hangover.
Amy can be scary when she's angry.
"No Carol I will just sleep today "
Just as I thought.
"Oh come on Dina said she can't come and you two, that means it's just me alone " Carol pouted
"I can come " Jessie's voice rang from the counter
"Jessie ?"
"Yes, carol I mean I don't have any work today I just finished so if you don't mind ?"
" Of course Jessie you can come " Carol happily answer
The way they look at each other is just
"Hey, do you think something is going on between them ?" Jerry murmured
" I don't know and I think we shouldn't interrupt them, let's go," I whisper back holding her hands
"You right let's go"
I cleared my throat to grave their attention "guys see you after the weekend "
"Yes Fate Jerry good night have a nice weekend," Carol said before talking to Jessie, as we leave the building.
" You want to come to the apartment?" Jerry ask we were strolling on the sidewalks
"No Jerry I will be off now I have to go to Miss Kim's house "
She smirks giving a knowing look that I don't what's the meaning of it "You want to see her first Fate aren't you?" She let out teasingly
I could feel my cheeks warm up just the thought of seeing her again "N-no it's not like that "
"You know Fate you really can't lie so don't do that, you just get caught red-handed !"
"Gosh it's not like I want to see her first I just want to keep my promise " I groaned
Oh, shoot!
"Wait ..what .. promise?" She paused glancing at me
"I--' it's nothing forget about it, good night "
"Hey wait what about promise Fate!" She shouted my name but I run there is no way I'm dealing with her tonight
When I reach Kim's House opened the door to be greeted by silence no one's home, she will come tomorrow Fate not today
After finishing the shower I went to the kitchen memories where Miss Kim and I cook together it's like her presence is still in here.
Hope this night will pass soon
1:00 Am,
"Mom, why do you like white Lilies so much "? I implore grazing my fingers carefully over the bouquets letting my palms feel the softness
She chuckled caressing my hair" coz it's just like you Fate"
"Me? but how mom ?"
"Do you know what White Lilies mean?"
"No " I sat up to look at her
" they mean 'Love and Purity ' just like you my sweet little Fate" She stroked my cheeks with fondness Her dulcet voice always soothed me
I nuzzle my face into her palms" I also like white Lilies mom "
"Is that so and why do you like it so much ?"
"Because it's reminders me of you," I answer truthfully
She smiles warmly " it's that so?"
"Yes, m-mom you don't trust your Fate ?" I mumbled pushing my lips and looking down at her lap
She placed both of her hands on my cheeks making my eyes fall over her dark orbs, her lips quiver upward" Of course Fate, momma trust you most"
"Fate, also trust you mom"
"I know Dear, you should go now your Father will be back soon " She looks behind me at the door. I hate it when she does this
"No, I don't wanna leave you " I hold her hands
She takes out her hand from my gasp and rests it over my cheeks before placing a soft kiss on it "You're not leaving me Fate you can never leave momma, momma knows that."
"I will never leave you, mom "
"I know now go before he calls your name "
"Fate Adierson wake up! why are you sleeping so much ?" I shiver at his tone sharp and filled with hatred. His raspy irritated voice rosed up from downstairs
Taking a gloomy look around my surroundings, the small space that I call my room. I recognize it was just a dream Mom... she is dead but in my memories, she is still living there, and for the past few weeks I could feel myself dousing into slumber without consuming any source of food.
My body is drying up the anguish in my ribs is still there means I didn't get up since last night. So for 24 hours, I passed out and He, He didn't care to look. And now only because he wants to obtain his punishment session he wants me
Pathetic.
After Destiny leaves this town with a promise. I simply go to my room after all the punishments just to draft into the memories of mom Sometimes it's nice to feel her presence. After all, I have already burned her photos and everything that my Father told me to Teardown.
"Fate!" He yelled again
" Yes Sir I'm awake " I answer pulling out the thin blanket that bearly covers my body. even though I used to be cold it feels nice when coldness overhauled over my blooded scars. They twitched making me learn I am still breathing
Sadly.
"Okay that's good come on downstairs let's have dinner together "
Dinner now? I peek outside the small window it was probably midnight why does he wants me to eat I'm not even hungry
But I know if I don't accept his order he will get another reason to punish me
"Okay Father "
I keep my gaze fixed on the table Father is drinking again, why does he always drink alcohol I don't like the scent it's bad. His intoxicated self of him brings the monster he has
After we finish dinner clean the dishes. I was about to go to my room when he stop throwing his glass on the floor
"FATE ADIERSON did I say you could leave?"
I sighed he was just trying to find a reason for my punishment, and guess what he already got one I hope this is over soon. I am tired
"No Father "
"What I told you to call me when I ask you a question " He screamed I fist my hands clutching my dress
"N-n-no sir " I stutter no now this won't stop soon, will it?
He grinned "And you are shuttering like a loser "
"Im sorry Sir " I look down
"Come here and sit down let's have a little chat " He orders tapping on the wooden chair
All chats end with my painful screams
I followed sitting on the chair beside him
"You know Fate sometimes you remind me of your Mother, Even if I'm the one who created you. You act just like her "
I hate it when he calls me that I'm not anyone's creation I'm just a human
I'm ME
I'm Fate
"I'm sorry Sir " I muttered hoping he will stop soon
"And why are you Sorry Fate?"
"Because I remind you of her "
He chukled holding another bottle of Alcohol. He is thinking
"Tell me Fate do you think sorry can change anything?"
"No sir"
"Then do you think your sorry can make me feel better ?".
At least I'm trying to make him feel something a regret perhaps
"I don't know sir but I'm still sorry"
"Hmm, you're right your sorry Fate aren't you?"
What's going on he never goes this far this conversation always stops whenever I say sorry and he starts his punishment then why he is going on? This won't end well I could feel it.
Slowly he gets up and goes to the kitchen I stare at the kitchen door ' is he trying to do some experiment on me '
My head grope unsure as he came back with a "knife?"
"Yes, Fate a knife. Beautiful isn't it"? He smiles mischievously brushing his fingers over it
"I--' " my words caught in my throat why did he bring it?is he wants to punish me for it?
He wants me to die this time?
He moved closer standing in front of me taking my hand he placed it on my hands I gawked at his face.
what he wants me to do with this?
"Do you know Fate why I always want you to become like me "? He smiles and strolls around me
"Pain is the only thing that can make a person alive. If you are living then you have to feel pain, but sometimes we don't want that. we don't want to feel the pain moreover we want to give it to someone else and feel the delighted feeling of happiness of it "
Delighted? how can you feel delighted seeing someone crying or whimpering in pain it's not delighted it's just pure distress.
"I want to give you a chance Fate, A chance where you can feel it too"
"C-chance?" I frowned founding myself ask
"Yes," he brings the knife close to his Thorat.
Before I could remove my hands from the knife he grabbed it clicking his tongue " come on Fate show your Father how obedient daughter you can be, slice my throat and show me you can be my creation "
Tears began to drip down from my eyes 'whys you doing this Dad? I don't want it I wanna go to my room '
"Come on Fate show ME!"
I hold the knife with my hands and close my eyes "i-i-I... c-c-cant!" I wailed letting go of the knife
"just like I thought a HOPELESS Failure YOU are, you don't even deserve to be my Daughter Just when I thought about giving you a chance you just let it go. You know maybe I should just kill You Instead of trying to make you like ME. What you say ?" He advised
"I--
He clasps the knife against my neck shoving me against the nearest wall. My hands reach up to grip his arms. The knife is slowly sinking into my skin, and a warm liquid drowned on my chest. Blood? Maybe
My head's apathetic
I guess this is my end...
I never came to know why I was born for
Never came to acknowledge was my existence was necessary if it is then for whom
That girl.
Right, she doesn't know I'm dying
I tried to keep my eyes open blurry vision moistening with tears. The taste of tears was now on my lips looking at the man who was supposed to be my father. But he is not a normal person, to me, I always debate if he is a human
He is not human, because humans do not prefer others' pain, do not crave violence, and do not smile while beating their children near death perhaps Killing them. They don't laugh seeing their daughter end
If that's what he wants then to the greedy God who always rejoices to see me like this I'm closing my eyes submitting myself to the embrace of the darkness
*Arf* *Arf * I opened my eyes to see KAI.
'Run KAI don't come here ' I plead to him
Instead of following my order, He growled before lunging on Father's shoulder
Father cried out in pain leaving my chin. KAI bit his shoulder making it bleed
I coughed for oxygen taking heartfelt breaths
*THUD* Just in a few seconds a lifeless body dropped to the floor
"KA-KAI"
No!
No!
"K-KAi" I called out he responded with small whimpers there was a large wound in his stomach.
"Ha! that stupid Dog doesn't know how to behave Now where were we " he starts coming to me
I tugged myself from the floor putting up with my unstable footsteps when the entrance was in view. My heart beats rapidly up, my vision a bit blurry, and the corners turn to get black from side to side. Maybe bloodloss was too much
Just a little more Fate
Just a little
The door was in sight I clutch the lock "come here Fate DonT Make Me repeat! Be a good daughter and BEHAVE! " he screeched voice chiming through the corridors
Before I could open the door he grabbed me from behind yanking me by my hair and taking me back to the kitchen, where Kai's lifeless body lay peacefully
KAI ' please forgive me '
He threw me on the floor "you thought you can get away from me Fate just like that 'Huh"?he unleash a Manic laugh
He's not my Father anymore perhaps this was his real face all the time. He was just good at hiding it from everyone
The knife was still beside Kai's body I hold it in my palms
"Y- "I gulped down a lump of my Saliva standing up on my feet anger rushing through my veins.
His blood-sore eyes are nothing to me right now. He already takes everything from me everything that I ever had my Mother. My friends. My only pet.
I have nothing left that he can take now even if I die I will die with the thought that I tried to show him his real Face
"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A MONSTER!!! " I screamed
He smirked " oh really am I ? what are you going to do about it? ''
"I WILL KILL YOU!! "
" Oh Really " He look amused slowly taking step towards me
" stop!" I warn
We were facing each other "Why? you want to kill me, don't you?"
"I will if you don't stop!"
" You can't Fate you can never "
He came closer to my ears and whispered " do you know why? coz your just a HOPELESS Failure "
A smirk curled up on my lips " You don't know me Father there was always a devil in ME ".
Do it Fate he can't do anything. Do it!
Show him he's not worth your mercy!
In a *Slice * I cut his throat pull of blood drained, oozing from his neck. He Yelp in anguish, he wanted to say something but couldn't I kicked his stomach making him fall on the floor. I can't help but laugh at how weak he can be
Pathetic, indeed.
I walked toward him raising the knife and plunged it into his skin. I look down and saw his stomach gashed open blood oozing onto the floor. Beautiful so beautiful
His eyes were still open " g-g-good" he adored as tears trailed down my cheeks.
I grabbed his neck and stabbed his chest multiple times until my cries swerved with giggles
3:00 Am,
Jerking off my nightmare Sweat drop from my forehead, my heart I can't feel if it's breathing
Tears escaping from my eyes
I can't breathe. Clutching my chest I get up. I have To get away from here Water- I need water. My hands are bleeding because of my scratching this time I was doing it while sleeping. Phone I need to call Jerry I can't be here I have to
As I go to the kitchen take a glass of water and start drinking it
*DING
Startled by the sudden shunned sound I accidentally drop the glass
Shattered Glass Pieces everywhere
"Adierson "?
Miss Kim?
My mind goes blank as I hear her sweet melodic voice every dark thought in my head from a few moments ago all of them Vanish as I saw her in the kitchen finally after waiting for 1 month she is here in front of me
I didn't say anything as I run to her pulling her close to me at first she didn't do anything, probably didn't expect my welcoming hug
But soon enough she hugs me back closing every distance between us leaving no air to pass
I dug my nose into her hair to inheal her scent
"Y-your here "? I whimper hoping she won't hear it
"I'm Home," she said I can feel her smile
This is more than anything I ever need.
**********
" You didn't tell me you will be coming back today "? Jerry asked happily as she bury her face in Amy's neck melting into her soulmate's touch
"I just wanted to surprise you " Amy whispered
"I'm surprised this is the best surprise I ever had "
Amy smiled she traveled miles for this moment nothing more than anything she ever wanted.
She's happy coz Jerry is Happy she smiles to herself ' I never want this to end Jerry thought '